TWO MINUTES IN THE CLOUDS. A lett?r came this morning for "Colonel So? and-so," And one for "Honorable," and the rest of it, you know. I took them up and laid them from all the rest apart. I gazed upon them fondly and pride was in ny heart. KKSF^"' ' -'. 1$ seemed to methat somehow I'd grown a foo? cr two Since the postman had come ie. cal then pass? if ed on out of view. I felt that I had risen to the thirty-third de? gree Of haman consequence and that the world waa watching me. - ?b be addressed as "Colonel"-ah, what a splendid thing! And "Honorabte,,-well, it was next to being At least two men were learning to estimate xay worth. Here was my fame beginning to echo round the earth. I tore one letter open and read tho message through. *Rie man who dubbed me "Colonel, " I'll now cc?fess to you, Vas somewhat short of money-a common thing with men He'd be a grateful debtor if I could "lend him The other man was anxious to get a public 3iy influence wonld help him to "win out in the race-" I cast the letters from me. I thought some things of men dat never stall be printed-and went to work again. -S. E. Kiser in Cleveland Leader. HIS.LETTERS. We had been three months married, sod lived in the blessed expectancy of a secretaryship which I had been promised . ma commission appointed to inquire v into some abuses' the government did not want to find out, bnt the Drelim ; inaries dragged, and I found myself doomed to a period, of enforced idleness which did not improve my temper, and : I fear tried, my wife's sorely, for, though nappy, we were human. Our first, and. thank heaven, our only tiff, took place one memorable day when we were both gardening on a plot of soot blackened ground attached to our modest dwell : lng. In making a border I had planted a number of carnations and picotees to? gether, contrary to my wife's directions, :; and on discovering the mistake she said . what I suppose nine out of ten women would have said. I answered tartly, be -} ing preoccupied with bitter thoughts, and so acrimonie tis did our discussion become that Edith went into the house. . After some minutes' reflection I felt the childishness of my conduct and fol? lowed to make it up. She was not in the little atticlike boudoir at the top of our mansion, so I descended to search fer her in the drawing room, which had ^ dcors opening on the conservatory and hall. By chance I chose tho first and had almost entered the room when I heard the sound of a well remembered voice, and, drawing the portiere aside, cautiously, saw my wife face to face with Arbuscula. "I daresay you know who I am?" the latter was saying. Edith denied the implied honor. "Then is your state the more gra? cious, ' ' retorted Arbuscula ' ' But .your husband does, and that is the chief point. The servant told me he was at home." She looked just as splendid as ever and swept our modest little apart? ment with a scornful glance, v "My husband is engaged," said Edith. "Anything you have to say may be said to me." "Indeed?" replied Arbuscula "Well, I have got a good many things to say. " My wife folded her hands and, find? ing one of her gardening gloves on, pulled it off and threw it cn the table. "Guard!" thought I. "And first, " continued Arbuscula, "3 want to say that your husband is tht writer of those letters. " And she de? posited a formidable bundle on the ta? ble beside the glove. "They were writ? ten to me. You may read them if yon choose." "? have no desire to do so, " replied my wife valiantly. "They would interest you, " the other went on/ "You could compare them with those he has, I dare say, written tc yourself." "I fear you misunderstand, though the error is a natural one-for you, ' ' re? plied my wife considerately. A spot of light shone in Arbuscula's eye. "They would be useful," she con? tinued, "if you wanted to make things hot for him-as yen undoubtedly will. " My wife was silent; she played with her wedding ring. "Or perhaps you won't care to see them in the public press, '" the other added viciously. "I know a literary chap who would dress 'em up well ; they'd want a little draping for a pa? per I know of." "I conclude, then, that the lawyers have marked 'no case?' " observed Edith, and Arbuscula glanced curiously at her. "I do not take my-wrongs to a law court!" she said magnificently. "In that you show your wisdom, " re? plied my wife. Arbuscula looked at her again, with something approaching re? spect, but there was a sparkle beneath the eyelids. "Come, what will you give to pre? vent it?" she asked. "Nothing," responded Edith quietly. "H? would be of a different opinion!" observed Arbuscula. ' "Hardly, " said my wife. "He is not a fool." " You are the first woman who ever said that of him," retorted Arbuscula. "I do not doubt it, " replied my wife with much significance, and the other reddened slightly. "Under the guard, " thought L "All women are the same to him," continued Arbuscula, recovering herself. "What is the difference between you and me? A wedding ring.: ' "And all it symbolizes, " rejoined my wife softly. "That's a nous3 on a fifth rate ter? race, with ody one stopcock for eight of ye, and the lady next Ooor cuts off the water when si e has had a few words with you over the hedge-I know it !" sneered the other. "Oh. it symbolizes more. '* said Edith. but her rene was weaker. The thrush had gone home, for the study of hydro? statics had been forced upon us of late. "And what is that, pray?" demanded Arbuscula insolently. "To explain would be to insult your intelligence*-and yourself," replied Edith. ! ' Beat in carte, 1 unge in tierce ! ' ' thought L : "Oh, I am not thin skinned!" laugh? ed Arbuscula. "I made allowance," rejoined my wife. Arbuscula's lips became a thin line of scarlet. Then they parted, and she smiled. I knew that she had always pos? sessed a most unfeminine sense of hu? mor, but I was not prepared for its as? sertion at this supreme moment. The two women stood looking at each other across the table. Arbuscula's dazzling smile lighting her face, my wife's pale, yet never so beautiful, I thought, though now, enlightened by the contrast, I noted the lines of anxiety which had been creeping there during the past months, and violet shadows under the sweet eyes. The other gathered up the letters and began to shuffle them as one would a pack of cards. "You are dying to read them I" she raid <. My wife's voice said, "Na" Her face was not so explicit. "Here's ene-it's poetry, " continued Arbuscula. "It was written for a stays I invented, the Arbuscula busk-you might have heard of it?" "No, it must have been before my time," said Edith innocently. "Possibly you came rather late in the day," retorted the other. "But came to stay, " answered my wife. Arbuscula laughed. Edith put her hand upon the bell. "You surely will not compel me?" she said. "I have been very patient. " "You'll want all the patience you have in the good time coming, " rejoin? ed the other. "And you, what will your future be without patience?" asked Edith. "My future can take care of itself, " cried Arbuscula, laughing a laugh short as the snap of a breaking sword blade. "I'm a woman with a past, the sort morality humbugs chatter about, but if I had a future like you by-I'd try to get something better than the butt end of a roue." "Using the hilt," thought I. My wife laughed gayly now. "You know the old adage,"she said, "the best husband is a reformed rake. Men's follies often serve as beacons to guide them past the other shoals and shal? lows of life. Experience enables them to appreciate things-it is a good light for a man. " "And a useless one for a woman," answered Arbuscula, with a sudden change of tone. ' 'It's like the poop light which shows the foam upou the reef that has just torn the poor ship's side out-much good, when the masts are going by the board. " She gathered the letters together. Whatever had been her purpose in com? ing, I could see her grasp upon it was gone. Catching at that moment the re? flection of my own face in a mirror op? posite, I was so ill pleased by the sight that I stole down stairs, hearing another hacking laugh aad the tinkle of a bell as I went I returned to the garden and com? menced to patiently dig up the border. Presently Edith came out also with an Ermful of plants she bogan to sort, sing? ing a cradle song I much admired the while. I went over to her. "I got those car? nations up, " I said, "but for the life of me I can't say which is which!" She ran to the border. "Ah, you took far too much trouble, dear, " she said softly. "And after all your labor too! I'm so sorry!" She pressed my arm, and the touch covered more than the words. "But the line was not straight, " 1 answered, averting my eyes. "We'll draw a straighter one now. you and I, " she whispered. I passed my arm around her waist and kissed her. She put both her own around my neck. "My wife!" said L "You old goose. " she whispered, bit? ing my ear, "I saw you all the time!" -Black and W7hite." Jade. Jade, the Chinese symbol of the soul, is one of the most interesting minerals in the world. It is possessed of peculiar interest to the mineralogist because of its unique mineral properties, to the chemist because of a dispute as to its elementary composition, to the ethnolo? gist because of its peculiar uses, to the archaeologist "because of its strange as? sociations with early history, to the poet because of its symbolic character in literature and to the philosopher be? cause cf its association in the philosophy of the sages, with various virtues out of which grew the Chinese symbolism the soul. Jade is best described by the famil? iar name of pebble, of which it is the finest variety in respect of texture, the heaviest and the hardest known to the lapidary. It is susceptible of a high polish and is so tenacious that it can be cut into the must intricate and fragile shapes. There are exceptional tints, b?t here jade may only be said to range in color from ivory white to deep olive green. Among substances known to the mineral .gist it has no rival in the num? ber of its fascinations, and no apologj'. therefore, is offered for ranking it with precious stones.-(?oed Words. Gof;sti Uv Was. Nellie, aged was out walking with her father, but she soon became tired, and he was obliged to carry her. "Is I vewy heavy, papa?" she; asked, as he set her down a moment to rest. "Indeed you are, " he replied. "Say, papa," continued the little miss, "isn't you dest awful tickled zat 1 ain't twins?"-Exchange. Fatal. He-There is Miss Glover over there 8he is superb. She is considered per? fectly formed. She-But very imperfectly informed. -Boston Transcript. ? ! JACK AND HIS GE( ! SAILORS' DEVICES FOR SMUGG LIQUOR ABOARD SHIP. ! _ : Ingenious Schemes That Are Invente j ly to Be Squelched - What It 3 When Jackie Combs His 31 as tuc hf i ! a Marline Spike. i "There is perhaps less drunkei among the enliste$>men of the Ul States navy than among the mer ward of any of the world's big s< outs, " said a naval officer of experi to the writer. "Drunkenness pz with the old navy. In the days of old Tuscarora or the Tennessee, a? sailors put it, it was a common en< thing to see about three-quarters ship's company returning from s liberty in such a state foat they hz be hoisted over the site in bos chairs to save the trouble of carr; them up the gangway. Bat that so: i thing is no longer endured. Men go ashore after having remained ab ship for a considera bio period are pected by the officer of the deck t( turn just a trifle exhilarated, but t never return quite incapable. ! "Men who exhibit the slightest i; ! cations of being addicted to drink I turned down flatly by the exainii I surgeons when they present themse i for enlistment nowadays. The surge ! tell me that they can tel; from a rn: j eyes whether he has ever suffered sex J ly from excessive drinking, no ma ! how long the man may .have abstai j from drink before seeking enlistmen "If men addicted to drink do hap to get by the examining surgeon and veal their weakness by going on t( every time they go ashore, the n gets rid of them by simply ' beachi them-that is, by putting them on beach with their bags and hammo wherever their ship may happen tc in a home port. A man cannot 'beached' for any cause in a fore ! country. "There are, cf course, any num.bei j men in the navy, and rattling fine SJ j onaen, too, who have a natural pre lection for drink, and these men officers keep an eye on for their o good. Sailors are bound to try to sim gie liquor aboard ship. If they dri considerably on their shore li berti they know that when they ret? aboard they are in for 'big heads' wi they awaken in their hammocks 1 i nexc morning, and in trying to saf< bring a bit of liquor off to the ship tl have in mind the taking of 'a hair the dog' to sort cf ease them up wi they turn to at 'all hands' the n( morning. "Sometimes they get the liquor sa: ly aboard, but generally they do ni j Every enlisted man on a United Stai I man-of-war, except the chief master arms and the top sergeant of marines, searc.hod at the gangway upon his ] turn from shore liberty by the gangw corporal of the marine guard, under t inspection ot the officer of the deck, ? the purpose of ascertaining if he h any liquor concealed about his clothe The men have picked up some ingenio schemes for smuggling liquor in such way that the corporal cf the guard fooled. For example, the men on tJ j China station buy long eelskins fro j the eoolies, fill the skins with abo: . a quart of liquor audwiud them aroui I their necks beneath the collars of the shirts. ! "It took the officers on the China st ? rion a long while to get on to th j scheme. Then the men who felt th; I they surely needed a drink the ne: I morning after reluming from libert ! discovered the plan of filling a rabbi I bag with liquor while ashore and < I stowing the bag next to their wais J bauds. The liquor smugglers, who ol j served that the searching corporal onl i passed his hands up and down on tb j outside of their clothes, then resorte j to the plan of tying bottles of liquc j with string on the inner side of thei I legs, beneath their trousers, but an j searching corporal knows all about thi : one nowadays. ! "The cox'un of the steam cutter, "wh ? makes dozens of trips ashore a da ! when the cutter is 'running boat,' ha j to bo carefully -watched, for he is liabl . to be tampered with by the men wh ! want liquor pretty bau?>. "Mr. Addemup, " said Mr. Spotcash severely, to tho bookkeeper, "1 have spoken to you before of your careless manner of smoking in the office. You thrrw a lighted match in the waste? basket a little while ago ami it set a lot of pape rs on lire. Such work as that might start a big blaze some day." '"It was heedless, " replied the book? keeper. "I will see that the office boy keeps that wastebasket emptied here? after. "-Chicago Tribune. The library of congress ranks sixth among the libraries ol tin; world in it? present contents. France has the larges?, England next; then comes Russia, and Germany follows with her libraries in Munich, Berlin and Strassburg, the last named holding almost equal rank with ours in Washington. VTat??r at Last In McClure's Magazine .here is au interesting account of Dr. Sven Hedin, a young Swedish traveler, who has been doing some remarkable work in Asia, in an attempt to cross the hitherto unex? plored TaMa-Makan desert. His parry entered the desert April 10, 1895. The water gave out, the camels died, and one by one all the servants succumbed. "I went on alone, " says Dr. Hedin. "The forest was very dense and the night black. I had eaten almost noth? ing for ten days; I had drunk nothing for five. I crossed the forest crawling on all fours, tottering from tree to tree. I carried the haft of the spade as a crutch. At last I came to an open space. The forest ended like a devastated plain. This was a river bed. It was quite dry. There was not a drop of water. I "I went on. I meant to live. I would find water. I was very weak, but I crawled on a.U fours and at last I cross? ed the river bed. It was three kilome I ters wide. Then, as I reached the right bank of the river, I heard the sound of ? a duck lifting and tho noise of splash? ing water. I crawled in that direction I and found a large pool of clear, fresh ! water. "I thanked God first, and then I felt my pulse I wanted to see the effect that drinking would have cn it. It was at 48. "Then I drank. I drank fearfully. I drank and drank and drank. It was a lovely feeling. I felt my blood liquefy I ing. It began to run in my veins; my i pores opened. My pulse went up at once ? to 53. I felt quite fresh and living. " Undaunted by his first terrible ex : perience, Dr. Hedin crossed the desert I again from south to north, and was re? warded by the discovery of a "very old town." The Wrong 1.4?g-. j There is an enterprising Liverpool j tailor who has never been known to ac j knowledge that he didn' shave anything a possible customer might ask for. j One day a customer entered the shop j and asked if he had any trousers made j especially for one legged men. ! "Certainly," replied the merchant. j "What kind'do von want:" J "Dress trousers, " said the man. "The [ best you've got. " Hurrying into the rear cf the store, the enterprising merchant snatched up a pair of trousers and snipped off the right leg with a pair of scissors. Hastily turning under the edges, he presented them to the customer. "That's the kind I want. What's the price?" "One guinea." "Well, give me a pair with the left leg off." A month later the merchant was pro? nounced convalescent and on the high road to recovery.-Pearson's Weekly. Lucky Mr. Walter! David Walter, a farmer living near Lititz, was the victim of a unique sur? prise the other day. It was the thirty eighth anniversary of his birth, and Mrs. Walter invited about 50 friends and relatives to participate in a celebra? tion of the event. Shortly before dinner a handsome carriage was presented to Mr. Walter. Under his plate at the ta I ble was a fino gold watch. Leaving the i table, Mr. Walter was invited to the ' yard and a herd of ten Holstein cows was driven up and presented to him. This was followed by the appearance of two young ladies dressed in pink, who carried a tray on which were piled gold and silver to the amount of ?0,000. This, too, was presented to t the happy man. Everything was the gif s of Mr. Wal ; ter's wife, who by industry and frugali? ty in their 15 years of married life had ; saved the money without the knowledge ! of her husband.-Philadelphia Times. Spain's Popular Beverage. "Horchata de chufa, " is the singular j name of the most popular drink in Mad i rid. This is made from a nut called ! "chufa," yielding a milky liquid when ! reduced to a pulp. This is diluted with j water, and forms a most cooling and re? freshing drink. However, it is an ac? quired taste. Very few like it at the first trial. The horchata may be made from different kinds of nuts. The al? mond is used also, i Strange to relate, the horchata de ? chufa is always sold where matting is i kept for sale, so that when you spy a roll of the latter outside the store door, it is a sufficient indication that in that particular place you may procure a glass of the horchata. In spite of inquiries, I was unable to discover the origin of tb.3 singular combination of articles ou sale.-Truth, Why Sigsbee Turned Scuttier. On another cccasion Captain Sigsbee deliberately sank his ship to save her from a still worse fate. He was in com? mand of the coast survey steamer Blake and was anchored in a West Indian port when a hurricane came up, and in tho heavy sea the ship's anchors be? gan to drag. She was drifting to utter and inevitable destruction on a reef. Where she lay there was a soft, sandy bottom. The captain ordered her sear tied, aad down she went. Later she was pumped out and raised--:m expensive operation, but far less costly than build? ing a new ship.-Munsey's Magazine. Papa's First. "Talk about bright babiesi"exclaim? ed the proud father. "Talk about chil? dren who are going to be big men some day!" ' "But isn't it rather early to prophe? sy? He can't talk yet.*' ""Can't talki Just listen to him! Of course he doesn't say anything, but that's the beauty of it. He's a natural born filibuster!"-Washington Star. s stimul?t** the stomach. |K>K n reuse the liver, cure bilious- | J ness, headache, dizziness. mur stomach, constipation. T etc. Price :'.'> cents. Sold by all druggists. TT.< only Tilts to take with Hood's Sarsaparilla, ls