The watchman and southron. (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, February 15, 1893, Image 4
REV. DR. TALMAGE
H? Ss??fct?R Sitfinrs strs
S?t gESJt??".
? TfcXT: "And Ged said. Let the waten
Dring forth abundantly the moving crea
tem that hath life."-Genesis i." 20"
..What a new?boo1? the. Bible, is? After
rarty-shr,years* preaching from itanddis
haasing oVer 30 O different subjects founded
on the word of God; the. booie is as fresh to
peaVwbed I learned, with a stretch of tar
f??til? memory, the shortest ver? in the
Bible, ,*Jesusi wept," and I opened a few
._ weeks ago a new realm of Biblical interest
that neither my pulpit nor any one else's
bad eVer explored, and ha vip? spoken. to
ypa m this course ol sermons da God eyery-k
where concerning, the "Astronomy <jf the
linnie; br, Gol' Amoac .the Stars;" j the
*'. brpnok>gv ?*, the Bible; or, God Among
the Centuries ;n the Ornithology of the
"Bible; or. God Among: the Birds;*' ( the
*^M?neral?^y of,the Bible; or, Gol Aniong
we Amethysts," .tais morning as ? may be
divinely helped, 1 will speak to* you about
the.""Ichthyology.of the Bible; or. God
Among toe Fishes." (
Oinr?K?rses Were Utherei ani tire! out;
and their fetlocks, were red wita the blood
cat out by the roc.es, and ? could hardly get
my feet out of the, stirrups as on . Saturday
night we dismounted od "the beach of Lake
Galilee. The rather liberal soppy of food
with which we ha 1 started fr? n Jerusalem
was wp li sigh exhausted, and the articles of
diet remaining had by oft repet? fciori three
tiroes a day for three weeks ceased to app*^
tizn 1 never want td see ? fig again; and
dates with me are ali out of date.
?'?T several days the Arab caterer, who
cctiki, speak but half a doz HS English words;
wbu*dmisw?r our requests for soma of the
?tyies of food with which We had beeud.elec1
tated joe first few days by crying out "Fiu
lSB?dY*; Th? most piquant a poetizar i? ab
stina?ce; and the demand ot all the party
wa?; ?iLet us breakfast on Sunday morning
on tresa fish from Lake Gennesareth," fdr
you must know that that lake bas four
s?mes; and it is wort': a profusion of nomen?
clature; and it is in the Bible called Chin
neretb. Tiberias; Gennesareth and Galilee.
To .our extemporized table on Sabbath
morning came broiled perch, only a few
hours before lifted out of the sacred waters;
Ifc was natural that our minds should revert
ti the only breakfast that Christ ever pre?
pared-, and it was on those very shores where
We breakfasted Carist hai in those olden
times struck two flints together and set on
tiresome shavings or light brush woo i and
then put od larger wood, and a pile of glow?
ing bright coals was the consequence.
. Meanwhile the disciples fishing on the lake
had awiul?y **poor luck," and every time
they drew up the net it hung dripping with?
out a fiutteriog fia of squirming scale. But
Christ from the shore shouted to them and
t?fd them where to drop the net, and 153 big
. fi?i rewarded them. Simon and Nathaniel
having cleaned some of those large fish,
brofighi: them to the coals which Christ bad
kiah !edv and the group who hal been out all
night, and were chill ani wet and hungry,
sat down and be jan mastication. AU that
scone,came back to us when ou Sabbath
nvrnia,?; 7 .?mber, 1SS9, just outside the
-reins ol a iv mt Tiberias and within sound
of the r.ipphng Galilee, we breakfasted.
Now, it is not strange that the Bible im?
agery is so inwrought iron the fisheries
vtoen the Holy Laud is, for the most part,
sa inland region? Only three lakes-two be?
sides the one already mentioned-aameiy,
the Dead Sei, where'fish cannot live at ali,
and as soon as they touch it they die, and
tte birds swoop on their tiny carcasses, and
toe Aird, the Fools of Heshbon, which axe
alternately full and dry. Only three rivers
of the Holy Land-Ja book, Kishon and Jor?
dan.
.About all the fish now ia the waters of the
fle?y Lan i are the perch, the carp, the
bream, the minnow, the blenny, tho barbel
iso called because of the barb at its mouth),
die c?ub, the dogfish, none of them worth a
jDelaware shad or an Adirondack trout.
"Weil, the world's geography has changed,
aa i the world's bid "of fare has changed.
' "Laie Galilee was larger and d*>eper and Pet?
ter stocked than now, and no doubt the
rivers were deeper and tbe fisheries were of
far more importance then than now.
Besides that, there was the Mediterranean
. Tea only thirty -five miles away, and fish
were salted or dried and brought inland,
?nd so much of that ar tide of food was sold
in Jerusalem that a fish market gave the
maneto one of the gates of Jerusalem near
by, cad it was called the fish gate. The
cities had great reservoirs ia which fish
were kept ahve and bred. The pool of Gibeon
was a fisa pool. Isaiah and Solomon refer
to fish pools. Large fish were kept aove
and tied fast by ropes to a stake ia. these
reservoir?, a ring having been run through
their gills, and that is the meaning of the.
Scripture passage which says, "Canst thoa
peta hooi into his nose or bore his jaw
ttrrocgh with a thorn."
Sohnportant was the fish that the god
Dag OP, worshtpei by the Philistines, was
made batt fish and half man, and that is the
meaning of the Lord's ioiigoatioa when in
I Samuel we read that this Da^on, the fish
cod, stood beside the ark of the Lord, and
Dagon wss by invisible hands dashed to
pieces because the Poi listines had dared to
make the fish a god. That explains the
Scripture passage, ?'Tnebeadof Dagonand
both th* palais of his hands were cat off up?
on the threshold; only the stump of Lagon
was left to him." Now, the stump of Dagoa
was the fish part. The cop parc, which was
the figure of a man, was das he i to pieces,
and the Lord, by demolishing every thing
bot the stump or fish part of the idol, prac
firefly "You may keep your fish, but
know from the way I' have demolished the
rest of the idol that it is nothing divine."
La ya rd and Wilkinson found the fish an
object; of idolatry all through Assyria and
JSgypt. The Nile was tull of fisb, and that
explains the horror? of the plague that
slaughtered the fi any tribe all up and down
that river, woicn has been and is now the
main artery of Egypt's life. In Joh you
bear the plunge ot tue spear into the hip?
popotamus as the great dramatic poet cries
out, 4iCanst thoa fill his skin with barbed
irons or his head with fish spears?' Yea,
the fish began to swim in the very first book
of Genes'S, where my text records, "And
God said. Let the waters bring forth abund?
antly the moving creature that hath life."
i*> you realize that the first living
thing that God created was the fish? It
preceded the bird, the quadrupel, the
human race. The fish has priority of resi?
dence over every Irvin-; thing. The next
thing done after God had kindled for our
world the golden chandelier of the sun and
toe silver chandelier of the mooa was to
make the fish. The first motion of the
principle of life, a principle that all the
thousands of years since have not been able
to define or analyze-the very first stir of
Hie-was in a fish.
What en hour that was when in the Eu?
phrates, the Gihon, the Pison and the Hid?
den, the four rivers of Paradise,the waters
i-wtri?d with fins and brightened with
scale?. All the attributes of the infinite
God were cad ?d into action for the making
ot that first fish. Lanceolate and translu?
cent miracle. There is enoujh wonder in
the p ate o? a sturgeon or in the cartilage of
a sher-: to contouni the scientist. lt does
ro*. take the umverse to prove a God. A
fish does it. No wonder that Linnaeus and
Cuvier and Agassiz and the greatest minds
o. all the centuri is sat enraptured before its
anatomy.
Oh. its beauty an 1 the adapte Ines* of its
structure to th ? elem .Mt in waic i it must
Lvc: the picture gallery on tue sides of the
moantaia trout uaveile 1 as they spring up
?.> snatca the flies; the grayling, called the
fl >wer of fishes; tue salmon, ascending the
oregon an 1 the Severn, easily leaping the
falls that would stop them; tue bold perch,
tbefcuigeon. silver*ani black spotted; the
herrinsr. moving ia squadrons five miles
loo?; '"Vicirp, for cunamg calie? the fos
or fiches: the wondrous sturgeon*, formerly
reserved for the tables of royal families,and
the isinglass made out of their membr ii
the tench, callel the physician of fishes, be?
cause when applied to haman ailments it is
said to be curative; the lampreys, so tempt?
ing to the epicurean that too man v of them
dew Henry II-aye, the whole "orld of
fishesI
Enough of them floating up and dov; a the
rivers to feed the hemispheres if every ear of
corn an i every bead of wheat and everv
herd of quadruped an i if everv other article
of food in all the earth were destroyed.
Universal drought, leaving not so much a-;
a spear of grass on the round planet, would
leave in the rivers aa i la ces and seas for
the human race a staole om-no iity o: fo-> I
which, if brought te shore, won! 1 be enough
not only to feed but fatten the entre human
race.
Ia times to come the world may b> so
populated that the harvest and viuevar ls
and land animals may be insu?cient to feed
toe human family, and tbs nations miy b*
oblige! toc?me to tue rivers aad o.:eaa
beaches to seer the livia; ht"vesb< th*.-,
sw?m the deep, ani that w >u! 1 ms xi m >re
heilb ani vig>r ail briitUicy ail brita
thin the hum in race no v >w >.
The LerJ, by p?aciog thsdsh iu th i first
eoj:rseof the menu ia paradise, taaziag
preeade bird and b?\s% indicated to the
world the imo">rtauee of the fisn a* an
article o' hu nan foo J. Tbe reason that
mea ?o-i women Uralthrao ant r'ouraui
fivt* ani nine har>a ire I years wa> be-du;e
they were keot o i parc re I co a aa I ash.
We mix up a fantastic fo)t tait kill the
mis!; ol us before thirty ye irs ol age. Cus?
tards aol whipped s?iabu Js and Bornan
punches an! chicken salads at midnight ai
a gantlet that few hara strath to ruo.
We put on many a tombstone gio wir
epithets saying that the petina beneath die
bf patriotic servie is or froni exaa dstioti i
rehgipus.work whe?.nothinr. killed tb)a pei
f ello w.but lobster eaten at a~pari;y four hoii
after he ought to (have b?en sound asleep i
qed. There aire meq to-day in our streets s
many walking hospitals who might ha*i
been athletes if they had taken the hint <
Genesis \n my text and . of oar Lard's r>
mark and adhered to simplicity of diet.
.The reason that thacountry districts ha\
furnished most of the men. and woman c
pur tima w?o are doing; tba, mightiest wor
in. merchandise, in. machan ic? in' law, i
medicine*. in theology, in legislative an
congressional halls; and all the pr?sident
from Washington down-at least those wa
have amounted to anything-is bsaattsetue
were in those country districts of neees3ttj
keot on ptain diet!
No man or wo nan ever am?rrate i to any
thing who was brought up oa floitiug isl?n
or angel cake: Tue world must turn bad
to paradisiac diet if it is td get jaaraiisia
morals ?ni parad siiac health. The humai
race tooday neals more phosphorus, and th
fish is charged an i surcharge! with phos
phorus-phosphorus,.. that wt?ich sainas ii
the dar* without burning.
Wnatmale thi twelve apostles su iii stat
wart man that they could endure anyfehia?
and athieye everything? Next; to divida in
spiratioo, it was because thav wara neirljj
all fisherman and lived on fisS and a few
plain condiments: Paul, thou rh not broach!
up to swin; the net and throw the lin?; mus?
ol necessity have adoptai the diet of ctn
popuatton amour whom ha live!, and yo;
.-ea tne ph ?phoras ia his daring plei bator
Felix, an t toe ph>spnrus in nis baldest o?
ail u:t?raucas before tua wisicres on Mar
Hill, an i the phosphorus as he went withou
frignt to his .beheading, and the phosphors
yo? see in the lives ot all the apostles wb<
moved right on undaunted to ce?rteti.n martyr
dom. whether to be decapitated or fldng ofi
precipices or hung in crucifixion:
Phosphorus, shining in the dark without
burning: No man or woman that ever liv?
was independent of questions of diet ?el
those who by circumstances are com pellet
to simplicity of diet thank God for their res
cue from the temptation of kiUuv delica?
cies. The men and women who are to de
cide the drift of the Twentieth Century,
which is only seven or eight steps off, ar?
now five, miles back from the rail station
and hal for breakfast this morning a similar
bill of fare to that which Christ provided for
the fishermen disciples on the banks of Lake
Galilee.
Indeed the only articles of fool that
Christ by mirada multiplied wara bread and
ash which tba boy who acted as sutler to the
"OOO persons of the wilderness handel over
-five barley loaves ant two fishes. The
joy must have felt ba Hy when called on tD
rive up the two fishes which h* had brought
mt after having caught them himself, sit?
ing with his bare feat over the bank of the
ake and expecting t isell his supply at go 3d
profit, but he felt better when by the mira?
ge the fish 'were multiplied ?? i ha h id more
returned to him than he had surren 1?re i.
Know also in order to understand the
chthyology of the Bible that in the deeper
?Taters, as those of the Mediterranean, there
vera monsters that are now extinct; Th a
'cols who become infidels because they can
lot understand the ingulf ment of the recre?
mt Jonah in a sea monster might ha va
aved their souls by studying a little natural
lis tory. **0h," says some one, "that story
if Jonah was only a fable." Say others!
'It was interpolated by some writer of later
?mes." Others say: "It was a reproduc?
ion of the story of Hercules devoured and
;hen restored from tha monster.'' But my
reply is that history tells us that there wera
nonsters large enough to whelm ships.
The extinct ichthyosaurus of other ages
iras thirty feet long, and as late as the Sixth
Uentury of the Christian era up and down
?ie Mediterranean there floated monsters
?mpared with which a modern whale was
i sardine or a herring. The shark has again
md again been found to swallow a man en
ire. A fisherman on the coast of Turkey
?band a ssa monster which contained a wo?
llan and a purse of gold. I have seen in
nuseums sea monsters large enough to take
town a prophet.
But! nave a better reason for believing
lie Old Testament account, and that is that
Christ said it was true an i a type of His
>wu resurrection, and L suppose He ought
o know. In Matthew xii, 40, Jesus Christ
ays, "Foras Jonas was three days and
bree nights in the whale's belly, so shall
he Son of Man be three days and three
tights in the heart of the earth." And that
ettles it for me an i for any man who does
lot believe Christ a dupe and an imposter.
Notice also how the Old Testament writers
brew similitude from the fisheries. Jeremiah
tses such imagery to prophesy destruction,
.Behold, I will send for many fishers, saith
he Lord, and they shall fish them." Ezekiel
?ses fish imagery to prophesy prosperity;
Mt shall come to pass that the fishers shall
tand upon it from Engedi eran to E ieg
aim; there shall be a place t-> spread forth
lets; their fish shall ba ac3or ling to their
dads, as the tish of the great sea, exceeding
nany." the explanation of which is that
inge ii anl Eaeglaim stool on the banks
if the Dead s aa, in the waters of which
io fish caa liv-, but tba prophet says that
he time wdi c J.ne when thesa witers will
>e regenerated, and they will be great placas
br fish. Amas reproves idolatries by say
nr. "The day shall came upon you when
ie will take you away with hooks an i your
>osterity with fishhooks." Solomon, in
Ecclesiastes, declares that those captured of
lemntation ara as fishes taten in an evil
let." Indeed Solomon knew all abaut the
inny tribe and wrote a. treatise on icathy
>loey which has been lost.
Furthermore, in order that you may un?
terstand the ichthyology of the Bible, you
nust know that thera were five ways of
ishing. Ons was by a fence of reeds and
ame, within which the fish were caught.
But the Kerodic government forbade that on
Lake Galilee, less pleasure boats be wreckel
by the stakes driven. Another mode was by
spearing, the waters of Galilee so clear gool
aim could be taken for the transfixing. An?
other was by hook and line, as where Isaiah
says, "The fishers also shall mourn, and
they that cast angle into the brooks shall
lament." And Job says, 44Canst thou draw
out leviathan with a hook?" And Habak?
kuk says, "They take up all of them with
the angle."
Another mode was by a casting net 01
that which was flung from the shore; an?
other, by a dragnet or that which wa
tnrflwn Trom a boat an ! drawn through the
5?a as the fishing smack sailed on. How
wonderful all this is inwrought into the
Bib'e imagerv and it leads me to ask in which
mole are you and I fishing, for the church
ts the boat, and the gospel is the net, and
tbe sea is the world, an i th?? fish are the
souls, and God addresses us as He did Simon
and Andrew, savin?, "Follow Me, anl I
will make you fishers of men." But when is
the best time to fish for sou's? In the nierht.
Peter, why did you sav to" Christ, '.We
have toiled alt the night and have taken
nothing?" Why din vou not fish in the day?
time? He replies, 44You ought to know that
the night is the be-?t time for fishing"
At Tobyhanna Mills, among the moun?
tains of Pennsylvania, I siw a friend with
high Soots an 1 fis ling tac'cle startin x out
it 9 o'clock at nish*, and I sai f, "Wher?ara
ron goins?*' He an-swered, "Gain?, to fish."
11'.Vhat, in thentghtr Heanswarel. **Ye?,
n th^ ni?ht." So tha vast majority of souls
.auturel for God ora taken in times of re
r,val in tue nigh: meetings. They might
dst as well come at 13 o'clock at noon, but
nost of them will n at. Ask the evin?elists
if olden tim?.?, ask Finney, ask Nettleton,
isk Oso>rt?. ri<? Dmiel Biker.anl thea ask
ii the mo./ r?-n evangelists which is the best
ima to gather souls, an 1 they will answer,
?The night; by all olds, the night."' Not
inly the natural night, but the night of
;rouble.
Suppose I zo aroun 1 in this audience and
isk these Curistians when they wore convert?
ed to God. Ope would answer. "I was at tha
time 1 lost my cbi'.d by membranous croup,
md it was the night of beraavament," or
t ie answer'.rould b?, "It was just attar I
was swindled outo! my properly.and it was
the ni^ht of bankruptcy," or it woul 1 be,
"lt was during that tim; when I was down
wj?h that awful sickness,and it was the night
r>f ffiftsicai suff ^rins:," or it would be, "It
was that time when slander took after me.
and ? was maligned and abused, au i it was
the uight of parsecution." Ah. m7 hearers,
that is the tim 3 for you to go after souls,
when a night of trouble is on them. Miss
not that opportunity to save a sou), for it is
the best of all opportunities.
Go up along the Mohawk, or the Juniata,
ar the Delaware, or the Tombigbee, or the
St. Lawrence right after a raio, and you
wiil find the fisherman all up and down the
lake?? Wiiy* Bacause a good time to angle
is right after t..? rain, and that is a good
time to catch souls, right after a shower of
misfortune, right after floods of disaster.
And as a pool overshadowal with trees is a
grand place for making a fina haul of fish,
so when the soul is under the long dark
shadows of anxiety and distress it is a good
time to make a spiritual haul. People in I
the bright sunshine of prosperity are not BO j
easily taken.
But be sure I 'ore you start out to th9 ,
gcsoel fisheries to get the ri?ht kind of bait.
,lBut how/' you say, "am I to get it?" My j
wswer is. "Dig tor it." "Where shall 1 j
..ig for it?' "in rae rici Bible grounds."
We boys brough! up in the country had to
iig for bit*, before we started fer tha bauks ;
af the Raritan We put the sharp edge of j
tn* spa le against the ground and then put ?
aur foot on the saade, and with ooe tremen- j
iou s plunge c>; om* strength of b^dy and
wiu we drov3 it. JU up to the han Ile an 1 then
turne I over tha so t.
We ha I never read Waltoa's "Complete
Angler," or Charles Cotton's *'Instructions
How to Angle for G.-ayling in a Clear
Stream.n Vve knew nothing about the mod?
ern, red hackle or the fly of orauge colored
mohair; but v*e got the right kin I of bait.
No ilse try big td angle fdr tish err augie for
souls unless jori have the right kind df baity
and there i$ plenty bf it id the promises,- the
parables, the. miracles; the crucifixion, the
heaven of the grand old gospel.
Yes, not only must you. dig for bait; bu't
use oniy fresh bait-' , You cannot do any?
thing down at the pond with old angle?
worms.' New viewspf truth. New views
of God. New views of the sou'. There are
all the good books to help you dig. But
make up your mind as to. whether you will
take the hint of Habukkuk aol Isaiah and
Job and use hook and line, or take tae hint
of Matthew and Luke and Christ and fish
with a net.'
I think many lose their tim's by Wanting
to fi sn with ? net, arid they never get a! place
to swiog the net. In other words; they want
to do gospel wori on a big scale or they witt
not do it at ali; I see feeble minded Chris?
tian men going around with a Bagster'?
Bible under their arm; hoping tb db the work
of an evangelist and use the uer, while they
might be better centerit wita hoek and line
and take one soul at a time. They are bad
failures as evangelists. They would be
mighty successes as private Ciristiaus. If
you catch only one soul for God, that will be
enough to fifi your eternity with celebration.
All hail, the fisherman with hook and line! w
. I have, seen a mari in roughest corduroy
outfit come back from the" woods loaded
dbwa with a string dc finny treasures hung
over his shoulder and his gamebar filled;
anda dd; with his teeth carrying the basket
Sile I with th 3 surplus of au af ternoon's
angling, an 1 it was all the res lit of a honk
and line, and ia the eteraal wori t there will
be many a maa aa 1 m my a woman taat
was never heard of oucside of a village Sun?
day-school or a prayer me?tinr bur ie I in a
church base neat who will come before the
throne oe Gad with a mnltitule of souls
ransomed throdgh his or her instru?
mentality, and yet tba work all r done
through personal interview, ou9 by one;
.me by oae.
Yon do not know who that Pae soul may
be. Staupitz helpei one soul i ato the light,*
but it was Marcia Lutaer. Thomas Bilney
brought salvation to one soul, but it was
Hugh Latimer. An edge tool maker was
the means of saving oas soul, but it was
John Summerfield. Oar blessed Lord healed
one blind eye at a time, one paralyzed arni
at a time, brie dropsical patient at ? time;
and raised from' the dead one girl at a time;
one young maa ?t a tira?; Admire the net
that takes in a great niany at once, but dd
hot despise the hook and line:
God help Us am1 td the gospel fisheries;
whether we employ hook or net, for the day
cometh wuen we shall see how much de
perided On our fidelity; Christ Himself de?
clared: "The kingdom of heaven is like unt?
a net that was cast into the sea and gathered
of every kin f; which, when it was full, they
drew to shore and sat do wa and gathered
the good in the vessels; but cast the bad
away: So shall it be at the end of the
world-the angels shall come forth arid
separate the wicke I fro" ii the just."
Yes; the fishermen thirik it bast td keep
the useful and worthless of the haul in the
same net until it is drawa upoa the beach*
and thea the division takes place, au 1 if it is
oa Loag Island coasc tne mossbarikers are
thrown out au i the blueish an I shad pre;
served, or if it is oa the snore of Galilee che
fish classified as si/uroiis are hurle I back
into the water or thrown do on tfie bans as
unclean, while th2 p?rea aa I tae carp and
the barbel are pac iuto pails to be carried
home for use.
Soin the church on earth the saiatsand
th9 hypocrites, th? generous aa 1 the mean,
tbe caaste aad the unclean, are kept ia the
same membership, bu: at death the division
will be made, and the good will be gathered,
to heaven, aad the bad, however many holy
communions they may aave celebrated, aad
however many raeterical prayers they may
have offered, aad however maay years their
names may nave been on the church rolls,
will be cast away. Gol forbid
that any of us should be among
the "cast away." But may we do our
work, whether small or great, as thoroughly
as dia taat reno wael fisherman, George W.
Bethune, who spent his summer res: angling
in the waters around the Tcousand Isl6s and
beating at their own craft those who plied
it all the year, aa i who the rest of his rims
gloriously preached Christ in a pulpit only
fifteen minutes from where I no.v stand,and
ordering for his own obsequies: 'Tut on me
my pulpit gown and baaas, with my own
pocket Bible ia my right haad. Bury me
with my mother, my father aad my grand?
mother. Sing also my own hymn:
..Jesus, Thoa prince of life!
Thy chosen cannot die;
Like Thee, they conquer in the strife,
To reign with Thee on higa."
The Mexican's Courage.
"The Mexican is not usually a trained
fighter, but he doesn't lack courage,"
said George S. Smith. "He will take
more punishment than any white man
living before admitting that he is
whipped. He is a mixture of Spaniard
and Indian, and inherits thc reckless dar?
ing of the one and the stoicism of the
other. The bravest deed I ever witnessed
was one performed by a Mexican some
years ago at Durango. A menagerie was
exhibiting in the town, and a large,
fierce leopard escaped from its cage and
went bounding down the principal street.
A child about two years old was playing
on the curbstone and clapped its hands
with glee as the beautiful beast came
bounding toward it. Everybody was
skurrying for a place of safety, when a
rather handsome young Mexican came
around the corner. The child was mid?
way between him and thc leopard, and
both advanced toward it, eying each
other. When a dozea feet distant the
leopard crouched for a spriug, but the
Mexican was too quick for it. He sprang
forward, caught up the child, threw it
behind him. drew his long knife, and
advanced on the leopard. The latter
beat the pavement with its tail, and
made aa ugly hissing sound like that of
a monster house cat. I expected to see
it spring upon the Mexican, but it did
not. When his antagonist was within a
dozen feet of him the leopard sprang
across the street, and with a low growl
trotted off."-[St. Louis Globe-Demo?
crat.
PBOMINENT PEOPLE.
CLEVELAND wears a 7% hat.
MGR. SATOLLTS title is ''His Excellency.*
THE Czar of Russia personally spend*
about $10,000,000 a year.
QUEEN VICTORIA'S annual visit to the
continent costs about $?5/000.
SWINBURNE has written an ode concern?
ing the Chicago World's Fair.
THE full nam* of the Populist Governor
ot Kansas is Loraine Demosthenes Le wel?
ling.
IT was Sir William Harcourt who first be?
stowed upon Gladstone the title of "Grand
O.d Man."
HARRISON received during his term of
cilice as President, for salary and allow?
ances, the sum of S376,SQ0.
THE late ex-President Hayes was wounded
four times during the war, once almost
fatally, and had three horses killed under
bim.
LORD WOLSELEY is credited with a de?
sire to be Governor-General of Canada.
Just now he commands Her Majesty's
trcops in Ireland.
A DECREE is officially published announc?
ing tbe removal ot' the name of !>r.
Cornelius Herz, the Panaaiiteur, from the
roil of the Legion of Honor.
EDWARD H. PAYSON, of Salem, Mass., ha?
filled the positson of (.'ashier in one bank
for sixty-seven years. He is ninety years
old, end has just resigned his position.
THE Crown Prince of Roumania's allow,
ance has been fixed at $120,003 a year, half
of which is to come from his country and
the other half frere nis uncle, King diaries.
IT is proposed that ex-President Hayes's
.portrait be placed on the Government
Treasury notes before many months. The
faces of Grant and Garfield have beeu so
used.
THE late Bishop Phillips Brooks bad a
private business arrangement with a Boston
photographer by which a royalty was paid
on each photograph of his that was sold, the
proceeds to be devoted to mission purposes.
CLEVELAND is the only honorary member
of the Sigma Ch: College Society. The initia?
tion took place at his office ia New York
City. Rev. Dr. Gessler and Alfred Taylor
gave him the grip of recognition and the
traternity pin.
EX-GGVERNOR J. M. THAYER, of Ne?
braska, who created susi a sensation two
years ago by refusing to allow Governor
iioyd to take possession of the office, J - being
sheltered by a poor soldier in tbe suburbs of
Lincoln. He is penniless.
SENATOR DAVIS, of Minnesota, is almost
blind in one eye, and the trouble had a curi?
ous origin, ile was exposed to the steady
g?ari- or an eleciric iight for two boors while
making a campaign speech. The opt ic- nerve
was injured, a oold ensued, and paralysis ol
the uer ve resulted.
Hope.
What wilt thoa do when faith is fie
I And hope is dead
And love's wing broken ?
Wilt thou lie in the grave of the past and
sleep
While the mourners weep
At? sad rites are spoken ?
3?aj; nay-fare forth,- though the night be
black
And ih? stof m's red f sci
intn'e?ty?s burning;
Fof the sun shines somewhere, from gloom"
released.
, And the heart of the East
For the day is yearning.
-[Harriet Monro*
FOILED.
There is a kind off half way condi?
tion,- in which we may be said to be
neither a?vake iior asleep* conscious
nor fin6011 s?io?-J-asleep eno?gh to
dream, and awake e?ong?? to kilo*?
we dream". At such tittles we hear
Sounds,-as it were, with a double sense
-a sense Of reality and a sense Of
fancy;
Sucli was my condition On the efe
of an oient tli?t will ever be mcmor
abl? in my history. I had gone to
spend ? few d?ys witH au rinclej Hy?
ing iii the Wes?er?i ??art of r^eiit?syl
vania? ? had reached his dwelling
late iii the dar< after ? kug{ fatiguing
rid?, and had retired to- rest?t an
earty hottr. 1 had fallen asleep quick*
ly, and for a lime had slept soundly *
brit had at length reached that inter?
mediate state, between the trodd of
dreams and the world of reality*
which I have attempted to describe;
It Was then that iriy waking sense
he?rd the noise of some One slowly and
gently pushing Open the door of mt
apartment and gliding with a soft and
stealthy treads and my sleeping fancy
showed nie a h?ge panther creeping
cautiously over the dry leaves and
through the slightly rnstling bushes,
to pounce tipofi a deer drinking at a
clear and beautiful spring.
Suddenly the panther made his
spring and struck the deer, and at the
same instant I was startled info clear
consciousness by hearing a sound as
of some person in the room striking
his foot against a chair. I sprung np
in bed and looked around in bewilder?
ment. "Where was I? I could not
remember. The window being the
only object X could clearly perceive,
I stared at that, and tried to recollect
where I was and what had happened
to bring me there. It was a painful
effort, for my whole system seemed
enervated by a strange dread, and the
perspiration caine out of nae in beads.
I believe there are few things more
trying to the nerves than just such a
situation of body and couditioti of
mind, and 1 do not think I ever suf?
fered more from a fearful uncertainty
than during the few moments I re?
mained in that torturing perplexity.
At length, like a ray of sunlight
struggling through the obscuriug
mists, I caught the remembrance of
leaving home; and then, in an instant,
all the incidents of the day flashed
upon my miud, and I knew myself to
be under the roof of my uncle's dwell*
ing and in au appartment where I
had never slept before. So far all
was well; but what were those sounds
that had so strangely mingled with
my waking and sleeping perceptions,
aud had at last aroused me with such
a peculiar sensation of impending
evil? Were they mere fancies? or
had some midnight robber or assassin
stole into my room and concealed him?
self near my bcd, or under it, ready
to execute his wicked design at the
first safe opportunity?
The very thought of this latter made
me shudder, and I was tempted to call
aloud for help; and only the fear of
being ridiculed for my temerity, in
case nothing sinister should be dis?
covered, deterred me. What should
Ido? Should I get out of bed and
search the apartment in thc dart (for
unfortunately I liad no means of strik?
ing a light) and thus risk putting my?
self in the power of the unkuown? or
should I lie down and pretend to
sleep, but keep all my scuses on the
alert? I decided upon the latter
course; and affecting to yawn, iu a
drowsy, stupid maimer, I threw my?
self back upon the pillow, and in a
short time pretended to snore.
There it was, as I lay with my eye?
wide open and my hearing on the
stretch, I saw the figure of a man,
Blowly and cautiously rise up from
the foot of my bed, between me and
the window, and there stand for some
seconds, as if listening and consider?
ing. I waa frightened, I confess.
Cold chills went over me, and my hair
seemed to stand on end. What did it
mean, unless robbery or murder, and
perhaps both? And what should I do?
Keep quiet and watch him, till certain
of his evil intentions? or spring up
and give thc alarm at once? and per?
haps get shot, slabbed, or throttled for
doing so. ile was rather over medium
fdze, and I somewhat under, and I had
reason to believe I was no match for
him in physical strength.
While I >v;is thus considering I saw
him make a slight movement and
caught the glimmer of a light just in
tims to CIO?C my ryes before it stream?
ed upon my face from a dark l?utern.
1 Was evidently not the person he
sought, for in a moment or two the
light was shut off, and I saw him turn
and leave thc room with a stealthy
step. Where was he going now, and
for what wicked purpose, and what
was the proper course for me to pur?
sue uuder the clrcum6tauces? Surely
not to remaiu there, trembling like a
coward, while a midnight robbery, if
not murder, was being perpetrated!
I hastily arose, half dressed my?
self ami glided oui of the room after
him. Ai the end of a passage or cor- 1
ridor. 1 fancied I heard a door pushed j
^I. >w 1 y OJM'II, ont} of the hinges |
making a very slight grui ing sound,
only audible to a keen listener, as 1
was at thal moment, 1 advanced
with a cat-like step, and now fhi
felt I was about to surprise instead
being surprised, my blood quicke
with a boldness I was far from ?
ing a few moments before.
On reaching the door, which
villain had left open to favor his c
retreat, I paused and listened, ht
ing my breath. I could barely 1
the soft, stealthy step of the fellov
he moved slowly forward in
room, and also the long regt
breathing of the sleeper, which ? u
supposed to be my uncle, who, bein
widower, was probably sleep
a?one; thatlgh he bad two sons in
house. What could the burglar
tend-robbery or murder? Jf the ?
mer* wlty had lie not attempted
search my clothes while in my cha
ber?
And if the latter, perhaps it wat
Watchful providence that had brou;
me iuto a position to prevent it
surprising bim at the critical mom
and giving the alarm. Besides :
uncle, my two cousins and my se
there Were two servants iu the m;
sion, one of the latter a young,athle
fellow, 30 that I bad hojees of secttri
the intruder by timely aid in case
should not prove strong enough
overpower him alone. My une
however, Was turned of 60, and
sdcli delicate health that for tin
months be had not attended the cou
of which he had been the presid?
judge for several years, and of com
I expected little or uo assistance frc
him^-nny main dependence being up
myself and others, whom I hoped
get upon the scene in time.
As I remained listening, and co
sidering all the chances for and agait
me in the sudden attack I had resolv
to make, I heard a slight click, a:
saw a gleam of light thrown upon t
bed from the dark lantern of the v
lain, who stood near the foot of
and between me and the sleeper, ti
light beyond giving his dark figure
bold relief. To get a distinct view <
the face of the sleeper he now a?
vanccd along the side of the bed wi
great caution, shading thc light wi
his hand; and to be ready te take hi:
at a sudden advantage, in case 1
should turn, I stoic iu after him, an
came close np behind him withoi
being discovered.
I now perceived it was indeed m
uncle who lay there asleep, his fa<
turned toward the side where tl
villain stood, who, as well as I con]
judge from a partial view of hi
features, was regarding him with a
expression of fiendish hale. He ha
evidently found th? person he sough
aud was prepared to perpetrate one c
the darkest crimes known to the lau
If robbery had entered into Iiis calci
iations, it bad taken a secondary plac
-murder was the first, and that of
particular individual, for the specif
purpose of revenge.
As I now stood close behind him
excited to a degree that made me fee
as if a giant's strength had entere
into my slender frame, I saw hiu
thrust his hand into his bosom am
produce a loug, formidable butcher
knife, which he elevated over tb
sleeper, with the unmistakable inteu
tion of plunging it into his neck o
breast.
Now was my time to act-for an
other moment might be fatal to nvj
kinsman-and with loud yells o
"Murder! murder! help! help!" '.
clutched him by the throat and jerkec
him backward with all my might
This staggered him aiound and ncarlj
overthrew him, and before he conk
recover from his surprise and regait
his equilibrium, I struck him thret
times in the face with my fist anc
kicked him once in the stomach,
doubling him over forward and send?
ing him down with a heavy crash, his
knife in one hand and his lantern in
the other. Still shouting murder and
help, alternately, I now, by a most
happy impulse, turned, dragged the
clothes from my uncle's bcd, threw
them over the assassin's head, as lie
was attempting to rise, and then beat
him backward with a chair, and en?
deavored to twist them about his neck
and arms, and so entangle him that he
could not use his knife and might be
easily secured.
I hart just succeeded in doing this
when my cousins appeared upon the
scene, in a terrifically excited condi?
tion, and the whole house rang with
alarm. As it was now dark in the
room, the lantern beiug buried with
the villain nuder the clothes, I shout?
ed to one of my kinsmen to produce
a light, and told the other to take a
chair and beat thc struggling object
on the floor as long as he should find
any resistance or movement.
In a short time wc had* tho villain
secured aud so tightly bound hand
and foot that he might as well have
been a dead man, for any power lie
possessed to help himself,or to do any
one au injury, and thcu I related to a
group of excited listeners all that I
knew of thc mysterious aud terrible
artair.
"Edward,*' cried my uncle, grasp?
ing my hand and speaking in a voice
half choked with einoli' "I do be?
lieve the good God sent, you here to?
night to save mo from an awful death,
and my gratitude for my deliverance
is more than I can express; but why
anyone should have sought to murder
me I cannot conceive, as 1 have always
aimed to clo justice to all, and till now
was not aware that I had a malicious
enemy on carty.w
?'Well, PH tell you, then, you old
gray-headed scoundrel," growled the
ruffian, as lie lay writhing on the
fioor and gnashing his teeth. "You
once had it in your power when sit?
ting on the bench to send me to the
?
penitentiary for any term from three
years up to ten, and you made it all
ilio law would !cf yon. I swore then
if ever 1 got ont and yoi a. chance I'd
cul your heart out. and 1\1 a done it
tonight if it hadn't, been for this
young, meddling fool!"
.?Well, your confessed wickednc
only proves ? was right in giving y<
the full extent of the law," rejoin
my uncle5 "and if I am noe great
mistaken, you will be perfectly han
less when the law shall hare do:
with you for the present offense, ?
though in this case I shall not sit
judgment on you, I have reason to b
lieve your sentence will be for life."
Itwas; and nine years after, tl
villain I had so providentially capturi
on that eventful night, breathed li
last within the walls of his prison. -
[New York News.
Jay Gould and the Farmer.
"I remember ouce a stop in Bu tl
County, Kansas," says a railroad en
ployee of the late Jay Gould. "Tl
afternoon was awfully hot, but as th;
al ways-present breeze was bio win
over the prairie, Mr. Gould steppe
out for some air. He stood in Hi
shade at one end of the depot talkiu
with an old farmer. The farm?
looked longingly at the private a
and finally said to Mr. Gould:
" ?Be you lidia' in that car?1
" 'Yes,' replied Mr. Gould.
"Course you see Jay Could, then
" 'Yes, sometimes,'
" 'I s'pose be keeps pur i y select an
don't mix much. What kind of
lookin' feiler is be?'
'.Mr. Gould evasively inquired i
his questioner had not seen Jay Gould
as he had been througn there seven
times.
*' 'No, 1 never seen him,"eontinue
the farmer. ?But I'd just like tc
D'ye s'pose he'd give a feller a chane
to speak to him? Ain't he stucK upi
"The anxious mau was assured tua
Mr. Gould often talked with citizen
along his road.
" ?Can't yer fix lt for me?' earnest!;
inquired the man.
"Mr. Gould smiled a little at this
but he did not have the disposition l
carry out the joke and reveal himself
Our train was ready to leave, and lu
excused himself and stepped on th
platform. He shook hands with hi
new acquaintance.
"The station agent knew Mr. Gould
and as soon as the train moved he to ii
the man to whom he had been talking
Mr. Gould disappeared in the car will
just a faint smile ou his face,
watched the station. I never saw 2
more dumbfounded man than tba
farmer. He stepped into the centre 0:
the track, and with both bands in bil
pockets, legs spread apart, moutl
open and hat on the back of his head
bc gazed in amazement at the depart
ing train.
"The station agent afterwards tole
rae that for miles around that man'*
talk with Jay Gould was a household
story.
The Motto on the Clock.
The following accouut of the origin
of a well-known motto for a time?
piece, whether true or false, is worth
recordiug:
Some years ago a new clock was
made to be placed in Temple Hall,
says the Manchester Times. When
finished the clockmaker was desired to
wait on the benchers of the Temple,
who would think of a suitable motto
to put under the cloch.
He applied several times, but with?
out getting the desired information, as
they had not determined on the in?
scription. Continuing to importune
them, he at last came when the old
benchers were met in the Temple Hall
and bad just sat down to dinner.
The workman again requested to be
informed ot the motto. One of the
benchers, who thought the application
illtimed, and who was fonder of eal?
ing and drinking thau inventing orig?
inal mottoes, testily replied: "Go
about your business."
The mechanic, taking this for an
answer to his question, went home and
inserted at thc bottom of the clock,
"Go about your business," and placed
it on the Temple Hall to the great sur?
prise of the benchers, who, upon con?
sidering the circumstances, agreed that
accident had produced a better motto
than they could think of, and ever
since the Temple clock has continued
to remind the lawyers and the public
to go about their business.
Singular Ice Beds of tho Columbia.
lu Washington a coulee is a ravine
that a river has worn for itself and
then abandoned for another course.
The coulees of the Columbia River
arc immense ravines worn out of the
basaltic rock with perpendicular walls
on either side from 1000 to 1500 feet
high. Through this region the Great
Northern Railroad runs. Not long
ago an Indian approached a gang of
railroad laborers working in Salmon
Coulee with a great piece of ice
wrapped in a blanket, which he of?
fered for sale. Tue workmen insti?
tuted a search in the direction from
which he had come and K>on found a
cold stream trickling through thc shell
rock, and further up thc ice beds were
found. They were formed among
the masses of shell rock by the melt
ino" of snow in winier, the water run?
ning down among the rooks and freez?
ing at night. Iee remains there per?
petually and in large quantities. The
most singular feature that the spot
is only 500 feet above the sea, and the
gun beats with intense heat upon the
rocks upon the ice, which is also ex?
posed to warm draughts of air through
the crevices, yet thc ice never melts.
Witnessing French Executions.
Public executions In Paris prove
very profitable to the owners of
houses commanding the scene. Win?
dows are let out for the occasion, the
landlords watching for the first ?ign
of the execution and then at once
sending word to the persons who have
hired thc room ff ;.n ordinary crim?
inal is executed the charge is usually
about ?4 per place, but should thc of
fcudoc have committed any remarka?
ble crime ( he price runs up lo $30.
["( 'hicago Time?.
i
A BUFFALO FARM.
The Unique Enterprise of a Ne?
braska Man.
Largest Herd of Pure Blooded
Bisons in Existence?
Five miles from this city, says an
Omaha letter to the New York Eec
order, may be seen on the C. J. Jones
farm, a herd of clumsy-looking beasts,
with dark brown hides, shading away
to yellow, with long hair, short
horns and fierce1" gleaming eyes.
They are American bisons, curiosities
even on these hills, which only a few
years airo, shook with their tread.
There are sixty in the herd, and Jum?
bo is the monarch. Plainsmen, who
have slaughtered his kinsmen by the
hundreds, say they never saw a finer
animal. He weighs 3000 pounds;
his brown beard nearly sweeps the
ground; his strong black horns are
almost lost in a magnificent crest of
silky brown nair, and his shoulders
are level with the head of a tall man.
"Devilish Dick," as he is called is al.
most as fine a specimen, but there is a
vicious gleam in his eye which pre?
vents avery close inspection of his
points. Four years ago one of the
cowboys came a little too near this
tremendous brute, and one sudden
toss of the massive head sent the cow*
boy to the country where there are
not supposed to be buffaloes.
Up to a few years ago the slaughter
of the buffalo went on with reckless
speed. Then came a reaction, and
some few men began to think about
the preservation of the species. Be?
sides the Omaha herd there are a few
others in captivity. Mr. Chas. Allard,
in the Flathead Indian reservation,
Montana, has thirty-seven head. Buf?
falo Bill's Wild West show numbers
among its attractions a herd of thir?
teen bufialoes subject to so many dan?
gers from disease and accident that
very little eau be hoped from it in the
way of perpelualiug the species. Mr,
Chas. Goodnight of Clarendon, Tex.,
has nine head. lu the Philadelphia
Zoological Gardens there are eight?
lu Lincoln Park, Chicago, there are
six head, aud in half a dozen other
places there are held groups of two
and three and several single animais.
Mr. Jones r ide his first effort to
preserve the species in 1873. On the
Solomon River in Western Kansas he
captured seven calves, which he sub?
sequently sold. He went on expedi?
tions to the fast-receding haunts of
the animals each year afterward until
1888, and the herd now at Omaha is a
testimonial to his courage, skill and
pluck in the chase. Every one of the
adult animals was run down, lassoed
and tied with his own hands.
From this herd "Buffalo" Jones
now secures three or four full-blooded
buffalo calves each year, and a number
of half-breeds-"c?talo," he calls
them. The hybrid product of
the buffalo and Galloway cattle is a
magnificent animal. Its robe is
nearly bluet:, fine and silky in texture,
and with a brilliant lustre character?
istic of the Galloway cattle. For
enough of one of these robes to make
a coat Lady Foster, wife of Treasurer
Foster of Canada, once offered Mr.
Jones $300, saying she preferred it to
seal.
The profits of buffalo-raising are
very considerable. The animal feeds
cheaply, and looks after himself in all
sorts of weather. His robe alone is
worth the price of two good bullocks.
In domestication, his meat is equ&i to
any range beef. One good animal
will yield each year fur sufficient to
make a blanket. A taxidermist will
give from $100 to $500 for bis head,
and if Mr. Jones1 big bull, Jumbo,
were put on the market, hs would
bring $1000. The two big bulls of
the Omaha herd are driven to a cart by
the owner, and this novel chariot team
will form one of the attractions at the
World's Fair in Chicago.
It Was Unexpected,
Colonel Fred Graut told us this story
in Vienna as one of his father's favor?
ites. The circumstance occurred when
General Grant was living iu Missouri
on his farm. lt has never appeared
in print. One day a country lad, a
neighbor, who was not only clever,
but made up for his slowness by bis
respectable qualities, came to pay a
not infrequent visit.
"How's your father, Johuny?" said
thc General
..Pretty well,*1 replied Johnny, with
his drawl-"for him."
"And your motlier?"
"Pretty well-for her."
.?And your brothers and sisters?"
* Pretty wc'l-for 1110111.''
??Well, Johnny, and how's youl
grand mother?"
Silence for thc space of a mcmeat,
then -"She's dead."
"Oh,"said the General, "very sorry,
ve rv sorrv-rather unexpected wasn't
it?,:
"Well,'* admitted Johnny, "well,
rather--for lier.*-[Hartford Couraut.
Old Age of Andrew Jackson.
Like Wallington, Jefferson and
Madison, Jack-on left the White
House to become a planter for the
rest of his days. The Heimitage,
his estate a few miles from Nashville,
Tenn., was a productive plantation,
cultivated by 150 slaves, who seem to
have idolized their master. The broken
man of seventy was very different
from the self-wil ed military officer
who had entered the White House
eight years before. But in spite of
his fating strength, Jackson was des?
tined to enjoy several happy years. In
Ivis old age he became intensely re?
ligious, and declared that he had for?
given all his enemies. Ile died quiet
ly 011 June 8. Iis45, and was buried at
the Hermitage, 011 the Cumberland
Uiver.-[Detroit Free Pres?.
i ?
A Little Lore Song?
The love that beams in my dearest dreams
Math none of the world' 8 mad blisses;
Its wayward wiles, or its splendid smilef
For it comes from a wife's sweet kisses!
The songs tbst flow from my lips are not
The songs that I dream or render;
They are roses sweet from a garden ?pot-'
Kissed !>y a wife's lips tender!
And not to me shall their glory be.
Though the world should bow and beartti
Of a song I sing, 'tis a holy thing
For she taught my lips to sing it ! - ?
O, storm and strife of the world's ?ad life,
"When I fade from your gloom and Misses.
Let my heaven above be the lips I love
Sweet with a wife's sweet kisses !
-[Frank L. Stantondn Atlanta Constitution..
HUMOROUS. I
Good life-preserver-Food.
Man wants but little here below hit
expectations.
A file of police is apt to rasp the
feelings of the mov
The comet is practically forgotten.
This is because it wasn't a hit.
No meau mau bas a right to wisb
he had never been born. Let other
people do that for him.
She-If you had never met me,
would you have loved me just the
same? He (convincinglg)-More.
-?Is he such an unlucky man?"
asked Mrs. Muggs. ?'Unlucky? "Why,
that man gets toothache in his false
teeth."
"What's that noise upstairs?" Nel?
lie is singing to kill time till her beau
cornes.'' "Well, time seems to die
hard, doesn't ic?"
She-What did papa say when you
told him you wished to marry me,
dear? He-I don't remember what he
did say, darling, but I know I felt
hurt
"Wbat are you thinking about?"
he asked. "I was wondering," re?
plied the precise girl, "whether the
plural of foot-ball should not be feet
balls."
She-You are very polite to yawn
so in my presence. He-My dear,
husband and wife are one and the
same, and when I am alone I am
bored.
??Do you really care for Harry?"
asked the postmaster of his daughter.
"Yes, papa," replied the maiden
softly. "Harry belongs to the firsts
class males."
When the sky is all dar* and forbidding
And the ram drops incessantly pour,
The joke of the stolen umbrella
Doesn't cause us to smile any more.
Patron-My gas bill is too much foi
last month. Clerk-I don't see how
that can be. Patron-Possibly not
from your side of the desk, but look
at it from this side awhile.
"What do you mean by thrashing '
your boy without provocation?"
"Well, you see, a busy mau ?ke me
must discipline his children when he
happens to have the time."
"Could you make it convenient to
lend me $100, Jack?" "I dou't know.
If I should lend it to you I should be
a man of some distinction." "How
is that?" "One out of a hundred."
Tommy-Paw, the teacher says that
if a man gels dyspepsia it may make
bim bald headed. Is that so? Mr.
Figg-I guess so. Tommy-Then if
a man et too much pie would he be
pie-bald.
"I say, Reginald, what are yon
wearing that crush hat for? Crush
hats are entirely out of style." "I
know it, but I have a room in one of
these modern flats and I have to
economize space."
Lawyer-Then I understand you to
say that your bookkeeper has sys?
tematically falsified his accounts, and
diverted something like $10,000 to hit
own use?" Client-Stolen $10,000.
Nothing diverting about that, it
there?"
"Oh, my friends, there are some
spectacles that a person never for?
gets 1" said a lecturer, after giving a
graphic description of a terrible acci?
dent he had witnessed. "Pd like to
know where they gets'em," remarked
au old lady in the audience who is
always losing her glasses.
Flections in Mexico.
"The Mexican elections are by no
means as exciting as our own," said
Jeff McLemore. "I was down there
during their last Presidential election,
and was sm prised to find that it ex?
cited little popular interest In the
city of Durango, which has a popula?
tion of about 30,000, there was but
one polling booth, and less than SOO
votes were cast The Mexicaus are
supposed to enjoy universal suffrage,
but they don't I spent more than
two years in the cactus Republic, but,
notwithstanding I made several at?
tempts to learn how they managed to
keep objectionable votes out of the
ballot-box, 1 ignominiously failed.
Diaz is not a President, as we under?
stand the term ; he is a dictator. The
fact of the matter is, that is the only
kind of government that could last a
year in that country; the people are
not yet capable of intelligent self-gov?
ernment Diaz is progressive and has
done a very great deal for Mexico.
If he is a tyrant, he is the most liber?
al oue known to history, for he makes
education compulsory. His chief ainj
seems to be to elevate his people and
make them capable of self-govern?
ment. It is supposed that he names
all the candidates for important ofiices
throughout Mexico. When it it
known that the Government has ?sug?
gested' a candidate, no one else thinks
of entering the field. Such an act
would be considered treasonable, and
as there would be no possibility of the
votes cast for an independent candi?
date showing up in the returns, politi?
cal ambition is confined to channels
approved by the administration."_
(3?. Louis Globe-Democrat.