The watchman and southron. (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, March 03, 1885, Image 1
" Si
^T^-S?MT?e? WATCHMAN,. JErtaMWwd April, 18?S0*
f?olidated Anff? 3^ 188l4
kBe Just and Fear not?Let
all the Ends thou Aims'! at. be thy Country's, thy God's and Truth's."
THE TRUE SOUTHRON, Established Jane, 1S66?
SUMTER, S. C., TUESDAY, MARCH 3, 1885.
New Series?Yol. IV. No.- 31.
mm??
Wkidunan and] Sont?iron , Publishing
: v^?mter, s; a
terms:
Two^?oJ&rs;pex atroaair-?? advance.
. ?r ^?1?? v xetisimssts. v
OnetSqxraT?j ?pt iaaertioa-............$1-00
Bvet^eotoeqoeat insertion^.
Coajrxao&\f^T&ree months," or longer will
b?'made atreduced rates.
J\??tt communications which 'subserWprivafe
interests ^?rfe charged for as advertisemen ts.
Obitaar^'aod tributes" Of respect will, be
7 ?t?^gf?filfor^ j??
Marriage Notices and notices of deaths Sub
te?* - : * ?? *
For jotewdijk or cpptractsj for^adrertising
. address JUttthmah am*Sout?zo?, or apply at
. the Officer? X. GL OSTEJEN,
Business Manager^.
IN THE PASTRY
:V? Va?lIIa?I>aM>?,Oraa?e, et*., aevor Caie?,
C**e?*?Jn?*?t??*^Ac.??* delicately a nd a?t?
1 STE??RTIIf Ax?* TKUE FRUIT
? TL&T?? TBE? STAXD ALOSE.
&j Price Baking Powder Co^
? **0, Ut. . ^ . ~ St. Lotti?, Mo.
DrrPrfc*'* ?r?nn Baking Powder
Dr. Pr?ce'fela?elin Eeast Gems,
The nest dry hop yeast in the woridj Bread
soca? l?fca onr yandmothfef^ delicious bread
XROCEfifS SELL TKEM.
prepared -sy~Tue? -
^e?^iB?k?rig Powder Co.,
??iTrs s? &. fiaf?Ssaai?feYcniig Emacia,
nco^go?lljL^._ . .. JSt. Louis,Mo.
<J^; ^?min?t?o?^ ?J??^wo;^ Bronchitis %
Dyspepsia. Catarrh, ^t?ac^j Debili
ty. RheuTnalism. Neuralgia, and all
<4^s^mic^cn?^T7!o?s'Bisora^$. <??''"
" We, the ocdecstgeed,"baring receive great
.and permanent benefit from the ose of "COM -
P??itr>OXyGSN," prepared and adrninis
- itati bV-D??. Stabk?y ?.P m, o? Philadel
phia, and bei rig saiis?ed that it is a new dis
covery in medical science, and ail- that .is
?la*me?^'?tj;eon?der ita doty which we
oweto the many thousands who are suffering
from chronic and so-called, "incurable" dis
eases to do'alHhat we can to make its virtues
known and to inspire the public with" confi
-denee.^ .
We have personal kfi-owledge of Drs. Star
key 4 Palea- They are educated/intelligent,
and conscient ions physicians, who will not,
-we axe sore, make nny statement, which they
do not know or believe te be trae,. nor pub
lish any testimonials or reports of ?asea which
are-not geo nine,
y mrxw?>. KELLY,
?&? Member of Congress from. Philadelphia.
a ?? *?Jgi&rkaid ?EnB&?et? ^Arthur's /
^fi^^a2i^%^mieMpkn.- ^
~?.?J~ Bditor^of /'Lutheran Observer,"
>rder-to,meet a*- natural inquiry,- io -re
fto^r^rt?fessiot?il *od personal- stand
ing, and io give increased confidence in oor
statements an?TT?T the genot'ness of our testi
moT^??sTsCt?? reports "of cases,. we print the
aWSv ca?dr frow g?tfi?enten well and widely
known ann of tiie-bipbest personal character.
OnsJt^rfie^sem. Compound_J)xygen,'' con
tainin^ a^sjtoryj qf thef (I'sc0^.1^ of and
aode of*"icuon of this remarkable curative
. agent, and a large record of? surpr1s:ng cures
in Consomptions Catarrh, Neuralgia, Bronchi
tie, Asthma, etc., and a'wide range of Cbrou
ie diseases, will b*' sent free.
~ " ? AT?resV Drs.; STX ffKEY & PAL'EK.
U&'k 1112 'GirardStreet, Philaddpma... Pa.
.F. H. Fol?om, : I?.:W. Folsom.
^-S^i-ESTAB'J> 186ft:-?
& BRO.
Praetol Watohmakers and .Jewelers,
Main- Street, opposite ' John Reid?$>
S?7MTER, S. C.,
*:? '?
?O
C9
^^^^^
W?LTHAM
3
-
o
ta
o
ct
o
.?
*
**
?4
Clocks, Silverware, Jtwelrif. Spectacle*,
hi 'O?t?ryf>?F?h?ng? pacid?, rJvo?in
: - J$!t?*2** Jfac&?wi Needles,
- "^?Wp?mng ?f ' WatcK?, 'Cl?ckis: "an d Jewelry
-. . ft&mp&y A ? *04 aatia?actioa
guarasteed.
THE DEVTL AND TH? LAW
Si -i ? YEES.
~- ~- - '
"The devil came up to the earth one day,
And into the court-house he wended his. way.
Just as an attorney^ with T?ry grave face,
Was proceeuTng"~"fo argue" the points in. the
.' case.
Now a lawyer his Majesty .never had seen,
For to his dominions none^ver had been,
And hVfelt-vcry anxious the reason to know.
Why Done had been, sent to the regions below;
*Twas the fo.uk of his agenta, bi3-Majesty
. thought* y}
That, .none of these lawyers had ever been
caught, *
And for bis own pleasure, h? felt a desire :
Toc?me to the earth and the reason inquire.
Well, the lawyer who rose with a* visage so
grave
Made on this opponent a consummate knave.
And the devil was really greatly amused
To hear the attorney so greatly abused.
But soon as- the speaker bad 'come to a close,
The counsel opposing then fiercely arose,
And heh?aped such abuse on the bead of the
/first/
That made him vil lian, of all men the worst.
Thus they quarreled,? contended and argued
so long, ? - ?
'Twas h?wr& to determine, which of them was
wrong, -
And, concluded bed heard quite enough of
the"fuss," :. -
Old Nick turned away and soliloquised thus :
If all they have said ot each other be true,
The devil has" surely been robbed of bis due;
But I'm satisfied now, it's all very well?
For th?se lawyers would ruin the morals of
Hell. ^ *
They have puzzled the Court with their vil- j
laioous "cavil,
And I'm-free to confess, they have puzzled
the devil; - ^
My agents are right let the lawyers alone,
?f ? bad. them, ; they'd swindle me out of.my
.throne.:, ,..
Views. < ofBifhop McTyeire
on'Education.
. Mr.x JZditor : Mach was said . and
done- as was to fe expected, on higher
education by the ChurcbV The expedi
ency ancl practicability of it, tbe neces
sity of it, was?t?*gly set forth, espec
ially in"tne appeals made for the Wof
ford College. The State, it was argued,
cannot do this work for us, and we may
not, in good conscience, relegateli to the
Srate, which, at -the utmost, aims to
keep good feUh" with the public by at
taining to neutrality in the moral and
religious influence ?xCrted by its insti
tutions.. This aira is not high enough ;
but looking at the. elements at work iu
thts formative'"'period of manhood, who
believes that even neutrality is attained ?
^'32^calaattty of a Church, having its
young men of; best mind and future in- !
fluecce educated away from it, or iu :
hostility to it, must be averted. Even?
the blank loss of this critical time in j
the building up and shaping of charac
ter is not to be eodured by those who
are responsible for the event. "Now,
brethren, help. The State offers free
education at tie .University, This
draws away many paying pupils from
our College. We need it, any way;
bat to compete with this powerful neigh
bor, weioiust gee up au endowment/'
Nay, more, the present distress urges
The professors are poorly paid; uothing
but loyalty to the Church keeps them
where they,are. The annual receipts fal i
far below . the current expenses of the
College that au assessment is levied for
raising an annual subsidy to keep its
doors open. .
This might raise the question, is it
nght'for^State^?^iv^reky to^offer free
tuition ? While w?iw?re. io- session, the
act of the L eg i s li tu r e . at Co 1 u m bi a w as
passed/ granting . ?37,000 for the sup
port of the University and the.Military
Academy.
I must admire the patience or the pa
triotism of the brethren, lay and cleri
cal, in* and out of the Conference.
Tbougiuthey were wrestling with the
prdbTera how-to keep up-Wofford Col
lege, there was t o unfriendly allusion
made to ao oppressive perversion of the
public funds. If .such perversion be
persisted iu. the tri aiutai an ce of Wof
ford College is hardly possible? How
can a few hundred itinerant preachers,
whose.salary does not average ?700 per
annum, a?d the voluntary contributions
of a few thousand members, compete
with a great State, - gathering its hun
dreds of tbousagds of revenue by the
strong arm of taxatiou ? Even though
another Wofford arise and give another
?100,000 foe endowment,. the State,
with its longer purse, could still overbid
or underbid, and offer, not only free tu
ition, but free board, free books, and
free transportation.
' -We ?o not:propose to go into politics;
but, at the same time, we must not be
so afraid of politics as to let politicians
destroy us. Tbe English Wesley ans
pursue their calling as a pure and un
worldly Church with singular fidelity*
They have, however, and have long
had. a Committee of Safety, charged
with the duty of seeing that the connec
tion suffers no harm from unfriendly
legislation; and more than once it has
thus been saved from unequal and op
pressive measures. Dr. Kyergon led
the Methodists of Canada in the famous
contest over the Clergy Reserves ques- I
tiou, when it sought to discriminate
against and degrade Methodists and
other 'Dissenters,-' even to a point
where they could not perform a legal
marriage cereutoey among themselves.
It was a long and hard contest; biu by
spreading light and by engaging lawful
combinations, tbe right prevailed.
Otherwise, the position and usefulness
of Methodism in British America would
have becu very different from what it is
to day. Baptists, Congregalonalists.
and Presbyterians shared iu the benefit
of that victory.
Christian people, and Methodists
with the rest mean to maintain the
Christian Sabbath, to restrain drunken
ness, and to promote higher education
under religious influence. It may be
a question bow far they can properly go.
j invoking State legislation in favor of
these objects; but they surely cannot
look with indifference upon a legislation
which arrays itself against them. As
things are drifting, every Church col
lege in South Carolina, Virginia, Geor
gia, Alabama, Mississippi and Texas
must sooner or later go to the wall.
uMethodtst.or Baptist people canuot com
pete with themselves as citizeus?work
ing in the latter character by taxatiou,
with all the taxable population superad
ded, and in tbe former as a fractional
part of tbe population by voluntary
contribution.
' Not a. few thoughtful persons take the
: ground that States sod municipal cor
porations sbocid coofine their work to
j the conmion-school education, and that j
with colleges and universities they prop- j
erly have nothing 'to do. Primary in
struction?including what has been
facetiously styled the three ITs, reading
Writing and rithinetic?is almost a natu
ral requisite for cititzenship. man
who caouot write bis ballot, or make
out a civil summons, or read a legal ad
vertisement, is badly equipped for even
tbe lowest sphere of life. Society owes
to itself and to him that such disqualifi
cations should not exist What is neces
sary for all should be free for all. Eren
enforced atteudauce upou instruction,
to this extent, has its arguments. Be
yond this, mouey belongiug'to the pub
lic may not-go. ? People must not starve;
but tbe public purse may not be drawn
upon to feed them on turtle soap and
plum pudding. It is communism or
agrariautsm to give A. B. and C, a
classical education, or fit them for pro
fessional life. As well tax the public
to give them a house or farm, or to set
them up in business. The key of know
ledge has been put into their hand by
the common school. If they have taste
or aptitude for greater things, they may
be left to make their way up.
It is, moreover, held to be bad politi
cal economy for the State to charge it
self with doing that which, if let alone-,
religious zeal and private munificence
can aad will do as well,and eveu better.?
There is a class, not without activity
and influence, who affect breadth and
j eie vatio*, and in the face of this axiom
of political economy> cry out. *'What,
must a great State be dependent on sec
tarian and private benevolence for'the
higher education of its sods!" Their
exclamation goes for argument, ignoring
the fact that the best literary institu
tions of pur country -have had that ori
gin. Th? anti-Church'sect is the most
bigoted and intolerant of all the sects
These gentlemen have a way of getting
into the management of ail public trusts,
and of dispensing or enjoyiug the pat
ronage. If they wish . godless and on
sectarian colleges aud universities, "this
is a tree country; let them build and run
them at.their own expense. It is ask
ing too much of a Christian people to
do this for them.
If, however, the State goes into the
University, business let it charge for tu- I
ition. With all its resources, connot
the State compete on equal terms with
the colleges chartered by it, and which
deserve to be protected and encouraged,
rather than crippled by its hand
Aside from economy, the best, if not
the only, moral safeguard of a State
University is the healthful existence of
similar institutions under denomina?
tionai patronage. Living men may
recollect tbe bad moral atmosphere that
infected certain State Universities be
fore denominational institutions arose to
shame them into propriety. Infidelity,
drunkenness,, or profanity, was no bar
to a professorship, and the corrupting
exploits of teachers were a jest among
students. When Dr. Cooper, eminent
-for science, was President of South Car
olina College, some of the choicest
youth of the*State were tainted with his
infidelity. -There was no alternative to j
a parent who feared to expose his son to
that influence but to send btm abroad.
With Dr Carlisle at Spartan burg, or
Dr Furman at Greenville, a Dr. Coop
er at Columbia is impossible.
The University was practically closed
under the dynasty of Fox and Moses?
who was last seen on his way to Sing
Sing prison: Wofford and Furman
then gave to South Carolinians tbe only
home opportunity for college ^education.
The control of State Universities is lia
ble to perilous fluctuations.
- Columbia in vain tried to draw Dr.
Carlisle'to'her faculty. They seem de
termined to cut away tbe ground from
under him at Spartan burg.
It is too serious f?r a farce, though
one can hardly help smiling at the pre
posterous absurdity of offering free Uni
versify tuition; where free common
schools can hardly ran four mouths in
the year. Of the over six millions of
illiterates who disgrace and threaten
our country, a very large proportion of
them are iu those Southern States that
are invi ing their citizeus to free Uni
versity education !
It souuds well to say, "Our State
University is uow open to the poor as
well as the rich. The farmer and the
mechanic can educate bis son there on
the same terms with the millionaire."
Look at this a moment. The farmer
wants his son to chop out cotton and
help gather* the crop for a few months
in the year. The mechanic wauts his
son in th? shop during the busy season.
Offer to them a common school, within
; reach, for nine or teu mouths in the*
year, and you offer them what they
j want and cau accept. Moreover, could
I these boys be spared" for two or three
I years from the plow and anvil aud
? work-bunch, their parents cannot afford
the expense' of travel and books aud
suitable outfit for the University J It is
mockiug them to say it is open and free.
The rich and well-to-do ujain! get. the
benefit of this free tuition, and they are
able to pay for it. Agrarianism this of
an uncommon sort; it robs the poor for
the benefit of tbe rich.
When tbe Legislators (practical men)
meet, the State Universities must make
a larg? showing of numbers for all this
money; therefore they take in, upon a
low standard of qualification, many
boys and girls who ought to be iu j
grammar schools. Thus, not only the I
colleges are broken down, but a valua
ble class of teachers are flauked aud dis
couraged who are essential to the higher
education?meu who, at their own ex- |
pense, keep preparatory schools and j
academies; tor why should one pay them |
when he cau pass by and go on to the ;
State University, so-called, and get tui- j
tipti for nothing ? The famous training
schools once taught iu South Carolina
by such men as Alexius M. Forster aud
Moses VVaddell, would meet poor pat
ronage, iu our day, anywhere within
reach of the State University or Military
Academy.
What is to be done ? Tbe answer
will, I trust, be formulated by those
who are better qualified to do it than I
jam. The Agents, Committee on Edu
cation, and Trustees, in all tbe reports
! aud addresses which ? have seen and
, heard in all tbe Conferences, seem un
I wilting to recognize the situation.
: With singular uuauimity they preface
their appeals for aid by magnanimously
} declaring they have no complaint against
this destructive legislation, do issue
with the State Uuiversities that are cut
I ting rates, etc, etc; and they concltitie by
asking from a few Methodist friends help
I in their hopeless contest against tr?men
dous Odds. I greatly mistake if this
tone and attitude will not have to be al
tered before relief comes. Toe daily
paper which brought us the news, in
Charleston, of the annual appropriation
of $37.000, added that it was done by
"a diminished minority vote."' The
appropriation formerly had been hotly
contested; but the opposition was weak
ening No wonder. If those most
nearly concerned stand with indifference,
and even with implied approval, while
tbe cord is tightened, can rising men
who have Judgesbips, Attorney-general
ships, and Senatorsbips in view, be ex
pected to sacrifice a career for the princi
ple at stake ? The Methodists. Baptist,
and Presbyterians, and others, citizens
all, who are pledged to a higher educatiou |
under positive religious auspices, when !
they wake up to this matter can, irrres
pective of political parties, force the
State institutions within proper lines;
and their champious should beware lest,
when this work is begun, it may go
farther than that.
correction of abuses wilt be accom
panied by a few things concerning those
who take part in it.
1. They will make up their minds
not to be popular with certain men and
newspapers.
2. They T?ill>not act like a boy who
throws a stone ata hornet's nest, and
then runs. Steady, systematic move
ment is required. Polititions will soon
detect this and give way.
8. Tbe religious weeklies, planted as
they are at controlling centers, will dis
cuss the subject in a religious way?
calmly^ fairly; avoiding intemperate ex
pressions that may furnish- catch-words
to demagogues in the opposition.
few stroug secular papers will join them
in giving light on the subject. .
4. All personal compliments and flat
teries will go for nothiog, while th?
friends of reform refuse to be divided
until "their righteous eoii is gained.
5.? The end will surelj be gained, to
the advantage of true education, and to
the benefit of Church and State.
P. S. The Conference assessed upon
its congregations $4,000, in aid of Wof
ford College, during the year. That noble
institution- must be sustained, and I
trust tbe amount will be raised for its
curreut expenses, and tr .t the Endow
ment will go forward For, while pros
pects are gloomy under the preseut sui
cidal acqoieseoce, 1 do not believe that,
in South Carolina and elsewhere, it can
last much longer. In the better day
coming let our Collegesbe fouodstandiug
in their lot, and ready for even greater
usefu I u ess.?Condensedfrom Nashville
Advocate.
The Mackey Romance.
Some tweuty odd years ago thnre
dwelt in California a family of three per
sons, father, mother and daughter.
The latter was a mere child. AH- were
youug. The father was a physician,
Uufortunately. he injured his uot very
extensive practice' by intemperance.
His habi s became so dissipated that his
poor wife, despairing of his reformation,
and also of the possibility -of independ
ent action on her own part to secure
support for herself and cbild, proposed
a separation. Tbe man agreed to it;
but he was not put out like Kip Van
Winkle. He was assured that while
he lived she would uever cease to help
him, and that when he mended his ways
their old' relatioos should be restored.
He departed to cure himself, if possible,
and become worthy Of the woman who,
sorely ' beset, undertook tbe maintain
ance of the family. Encouraged by his
wife's prayers, letters,' and heroic con
duct, the doctor redeemed himself. At
least he thought so, and his poor wife
was more than willing to believe it.
He returned to her home and heart,
warmly welcomed back to both. Un
luckily, he had either miscalculated his
will power, or the demon of indulgence
was simply asleep,' and by no meaos
dead within him. Re went back to his
cups, and very soon the skeleton finger
of poverty was laid upou his domestic
affairs. The devoted wife unwilling to
undertake aD_ experimental separation,
and unable to remain where she was,
determined to try whap change of scene
would do for this miserable man who uat
urally kind, talented, and wholesome,
seemed to be insanely abandoned'to the
devil of stroug driuk. Just at this cri
sis rumors had reached California of the
Comstock lode discovery, and thither
many of the mining population drifted.
Across the Sierras to Virginia City this
little aud most wretched family journ
eyed.
The doctor pulled himself together
for a while aud did some business, but
his health was gone, aud very soon he
died. Widow and orphans were left in
the very depts of poverty. The gene
rous miners had clubbed together to
bury the doctor. They made up a
purse for the mother and child from
time to time, and thus saved both from ?
utter deprivation of food, shelter, and
raiment. There was at that time, su
perintendent of one of the mines, a
steady young Irishman, who, from the
lowest round? of tbe ladder, bad beguu
to push his way to fortune, He was
uot theu more than moderately well off,
and little dreamed of tbe Monte Cristo
casket in store for him. He used to
carry the weekly or m ont hl y stipend to
the widow, and his visits became more
aud more frequent. At last he married
her, and her days of fear on the score
of poverty were over. She possessed a
well-to-do husband, who was master of
j his possessions, and certain to mako his
I way in tbe world. But in the days of
I distress the unhappy woman had resort
ed to the morphine habit, and could
uot, of her own effort, release herself
from it. A youug physician of Vir
ginia City, who had recently graduated
in France, informed her that if she
! would visit Paris and put herself im
! plicitly under the'care of his old master
j there, ber cure would- be guaranteed,
j Wbile the husband remained to uncover,
j with the present junior Senator from
j Nevada,-the ricbrst silver deposit the
world has ever knowu. the wife crossed
the seas aod submitted to a rigorous
medical treatment. It was successful
after months of endurance. Meanwhile,
' the famous California and Consolidated
Virginia mines were penetrated by tbe
husband, and the world-reoown?d bo
nanza, of which he was principal owner,
made him at least forty times a million
are. The wife in Paris, now perfectly
cured and blooming, at once rose into
j prominence and celebrity, for bow
i could the marvel-loving Parisians help
I adoring a woman whose, talents and
I beauty were matched by such fabulous
j wealth so romautically discovered. For
? years this lady, who is no other than
; Mrs. John Mackey, has been a silver
queen in the most splendid capital of
Europe. She has lived in palaces
Noblemen and men of genius bave paid
court to her shrine.
Now all Paris and therefore all tbe
universe, is iu a ferment over
tbe marriage of Miss Mackey and
the Prince Colonna. Tbe drift is
ouptially to Borne, the City of the doul,
and'to Italian nobility. It is a miracu*
loos bridging of the chasm that lies be
tween the mining gulch of the Nevada
Mountains and St. Peter's Church,
where stands tbe supernal splendor,
"the grandest dome that mortal man
has painted against God's loveliest sky."
Little did tbe widow of tbe wretched
doctor of Virginia City imagine that she
would roll in wealth, dwell in palaces,
be courted by Church and State, be fa
miliarly associated with the proudest
names of the decendants of the crusa
ders, and finally became the mother-in
law of a Prince Colonna, whose nobility
dates back almost to the time of Saladin.
The family name is as famous as any. in
history aud tbe heir of the Colonna
family has. at 27 years of. age, wedded
the daughter of the poor:doctor who fell
by the wayside in Nevada, and sleeps
ii?s sleep iu that stony desert-?Agusta
Constutionalist.
The Alarm.
Burglars!-' ?rbd Mr Jones.
Burglars !' screamed Mrs. Jones.
'Burglars !' screamed the Missee Jones.
'Burglars screamed Ma9ter Jones, as
one after tbe other lights flashed in the
upper rooms and hastily draped forms
appeared at the bedroom doors like the
signal figures of a barometer.
Jones and son, following each other
dowD stairs, ope whh a poker and tbe
other with a croquet-mallet, found the
street door open, saw a silk umbrella
and two hats vanishing around the cor
ner, and yelled 'police!' but only the
echoes aoswered ; and, after ? careful
search of the house and some fomenta
tions over the hats and umbrella, tbe
Jones family returned to their pillows,
though each one declared next morning
that be or she had not closed an eye.
'And th? worst of it is,' said Mrs.
Jones, 'they'll be here ag?in. When
burglars determine to enter a house
they always do it.'
know a fellow who has a splendid
dog that he'll sell,' said Master Jones
'The fiercest fellow ; bite a piece out of
you as soon as look at you. I'll get
him if you like, and we can turn him
into the hall nights.'
Thank you/ said Mrs. Jones. "Td
as soon have my throat cut by burglars
as to be torn to pieces by a savage dog ?
'But he'd know us all in a few days,'
said young Jones. 'Pa, don't you
think it's the best plan !?the biggest
fellow^; you out to bear him howl.'
dog is impossible in a city house
with only four feet of garden ground,'
said Mr Jones; 'but I'll buy an alarm
and a pistol ; and keep it louded under
my pillow.'
Then I shall sleep elsewhere,' said j
Mrs. Jones. 'No. sit up all night j
every night until I die, before that'shall
he done.'
'All women are idiots,' said Mr.
Jones.
'All men are crazy,' said Mrs. Jones.
'But you sball have- your way aud
shoot your family if you like That
always comes, of having fire-arms
about.
* 'Let them come in and murder us,
then,' said Mr. Jooes. suppose you
object to tbe alarm, too.'
But finally the alarm was decided
upon and purchased and attached to all
the doors and windows on the lower
floor, aud two days after this was done
Mr. Jones, being obliged to leave home
on business, congratulated himself upon
bis promptitude of action.
'With this alarm you are quite safe,
my dear,' he said, as he took bis de
parture. 'The minute you hear it, open
the windows and scream for the police
men.'
Mr. Jones then stepped into tbe car
riage, which whirled him to the train,
which conveyed him to a distant city.
There ho became very much occupied
with certain important affairs, and when
he had been absent a month forgot all
about tbe burglars, as well as all about
the alarm.
The letters from home did not men
tion it, and so it passed entirely from
bis memory; and, as at last he found
himself on his homeward way upon a
night train, which be had taken quite
unexpectedly?tor he had written the
day before that be should not be back
for a week?it occurred to him that
his arrival would be a delightful sur
prise for tbe family. He had bis latch
key with him. and he quite chuckled
over tbe thought of letting himself in
and being found snug in bed next
mowing.
'Won't there be a time !' said he to
himself. 'Ma'll scream. T*he girls?I
can bear 'em laugh. And Sam wiil
pretend not to be astonished?ha, ha,
ha!'
So, with his portmanteau in bis
hand,- Mr. Jones, having reached
home, ascended the steps of bis domi
cile and deliberately but softly proceed
ed to open his front door.
As he did so the alarm was sprung,
a racket and jingle filled the house,
and simultaneously with that, Mrs
Jones, the Misses Jones, Master Jooes,
tbe .cook, the chambermaid, and the
waiter thrust their beads out -of their
respective windows and screamed 'Po
lice!'
Almost as they did so two clubs
struck the pavement and two giants
j in uniform seized Mr. Jones by the
arms.
*Ab, got you this time,' cried one of
them. We've beeu looking for you for
, some time, too.'
'Let me go,' said Mr. Jones.
live here It's a mistake.'
' *Yes I've uo doubt it's a mistake,'
; said the policeman.
But tell. them?tell them ; let me |
offer proof,' pleaded Mr. Jones. 'They
all know me; tell them its Mr.
Jones.' c
He says it's Mr Jones,' cried the
policeman to a nightcap and shawl at
i the window.
My husband is in Chicago/ said
Mrs. Jones.
But she peeped out nervously. How
I ever, she did not recognize her husband.
I Mr. Jones bad left home in a tall bat
I and overcoat, but during his absence
i he had unfortunately purchased a
traveling 'ulster' that touched bis heels,
and a cap. He wore, both, as was
natural upon a midnight journey.
*No I never saw that object be
fore,' said Mrs. Jones. 'Do take him
away.'
'You'll appear to-morrow V said
the policeman. 'You'll appear against
him, ma'am V
'Decidedly.- I shall consider it my
.duty,' said the lady, and shut the
window.
Then Jones remonstrated with the
policeman, and begged bim to have
Mr >Smith next door called, and was
told to hold bis tongue. Jones was not
a mild man. In a few minutes his
wrath boiled over; be attacked the po
liceman with his umbrella bravely and
was totally defeated He arrived at .
the station-house with a black eye and
a bruise on his forehead,, and frothing
at the mouth with rage, and was lock
ed up after having been recognized by
several espert? as 'Tommy the Tapper,'
a ?Doted burglar, for whose arrests
large reward was offered. - His valise
was taken away from bim, also his
watch and pocket-book. He was shut
up in a cell with an intoxicated tramp
who bad arrived at that stage of
delirium tremens at which snakes are
the. favorite delusion, and who took
poor Mr. Jones for one, or several of
tbem, and iusisted on treading on his
head.'
In argument and single combat with
this gentleman Mr. Jones passed the
hours uutil morning, when he was
taken from his highly perfumed seques
tration and dragged through the bleak
streets to a court of justice, where
he attempted to explain matters once
more, and was still explaining theni
without .producing the slightest effect
upon any one, when his wife and son
arrived.
Even then the ulster, the cap. and
I the black eye deceived poor Mrs. Jones
; for a few mome?is, and, but for Sam,
there is no knowing.- what might have
become of the unhappy gentleman
: However, Sam came to. his rescue, and
the three weut home together in a cab,
Mrs. Jones moaoing and wringing her
hands ^all the. way, and Mr. Jones
threatening to sue for a divorce.
He forgave his wife at last, however,
but he never forgave the alarm, which
he'demolished forthwith.
The Bad Boy.
"I guess the neighbors will be mighty
glad when you folks get off to Florida,"
said the grocery in an to" the bad boy as
he came in with a linen duster on, and
! stamped the snow off his feet. "Such
carryings on as you had in church last
Sunday night. The minister was in here
this morning aodthe says he don't know
what to think of your family. ' He says
your pa' was taken with hydrophobia iu
church, and frothed at the mouth, aud
barked like a dog, and the deacons had
to take him out and sit down on him.
What did it mean, and what in thunder
have you got ou a Ii neu duster for in
the middle of winter?"
"I am wearing this duster to get ac
customed to it. When we get 'South
we shall have to wear palm-leaf clothes
all the time," aud the bad boy wrapped
the tail of the duster around his cold
legs and backed Up to. the coal stove.
"But you'd: a dide if you had beeu iu
our pew Sunday-night. You see 1 was
reading in a paper about how the Sena
tors iu Washington amuse themselves,
and there was a story about Wade
Hampton's joke on Senator Garland.
Hampton eats caramels, and G-ariaud
always comes along aud takes caramels
off Hampton's desk, and so t'other day
Hampton took a piece of brown soap
and whittled it just the size of a cara
mel and wrapped it in a glazed paper
and laid it on his desk, and Garland eat
it. It tickled me, and I thought of pa
in a minute. When, we go to church pa
gets nervous, cause he,can't smoke: and
be always wants to be chewing some
thing, and-as I always have some
candy or something in my pocket,
pa reaches in my pocket, on
the sly", when he is watching the
minister, gets a gum-drop or something,
and chews all through meeting. I dou't
think it is right for an old man to chew
iu meeting, anyway. So I took a piece
of soap aod fixed it ju>>t as Senator
Hampton did, and put it in the pocket
next to pa. In the other pocket I had
some sure enough caramels, cause I did
not want to get the soap myself. I was
chewing right along, atad pa stood it
until the minister gave out the sociable
notices, and prayed, and when we stood
up to sing pa he nudged me for candy.
I was. busy finding which song they
were singing, cause they all look alike
iu the hymn book, and when they got
on the last verse pa nudged me again,
and I kind of winked my left eye and
glanced down totvard my pocket, and
pa he had his hand in there quicken: a
wink, and he got the brown soap cara
mel aud had it in his mouth in no time,
and then the choir got to the home
stretch, as pa says, and we sat dowu. I
guess pa bit right through the soap the
first round, for he snorted and said
'yab,' and 1 guess that was what they
thought sounded as though he barked
like a dog. Everybody looked at pa,
so he couldn't spit out the soap, and be
held on to it.- An old maid that sits in j
front of us turned right around aod j
look at pa as though he was a dime
museum curiosity, and she never took
her eyes off of him. I think a woman
ought to keep her eyes off a man loog
enough to let him spit out a chunk of
soap. Well, you ought to have seen
me look at the minister when he gave
out the text. Our folks always com
pialo 'cause I don't remember the text, j
so I was bound to commit it to memory I
if I busted. I dasseut look at pa for
fear I would snort right ou^ but ?
peeked out of the corner of my eye, and
' he. turned red and white and blue, and
I he tried to keep from e walle wieg th?1
soap suc s. I thought I should catoip
and qui'.Iwheel, right there on the floor.
Pretty soon the soap suds and foam be
gan to show on pa1 a lip and moustache,
and be looked offol I tell you. Every
body was looking at him, aud the min
ister stopped and looked over bis spec
tacles, and just then pa couldn't stand
it no longer, and he got up and said
'Yah1 again and walked over some of"
my feet and got out in the aisle and he
walked towards the vestibule real fast
like a man in a hurry to get somewhere,
and the soap was making lather enough
to shave with, and his upper lip was
covered,, and everybody looked at him.
The deacons followed him out, and the
ushers got there justas he began to
throw lather on the carpet, and he
coughed, and sputtered, and they
thought he was made for sure; and they
grabbed hold of his arms, aud. as he
struggled to get bis hand in his coat
tail pocket for his handkerchief they
said, 'Don't let him bite you?don't let
him get hold of his revolveri' and they
scuffled till pa could get the taste out
of his mouth so he could speak, and
then be said it. was all right, he had
eaten a caramel and didn't know it was
loaded. Then all was quiet, and the*
minister went oh with the sermon, and
pa we;nt to tbe hydrant and turned the
hose on his mouth, and after awhile be
came in and sat on a back seat, and
after church t didn't see him. I hain't
seen him yet, 'cause I asked b?ra be
fore church if I couldn't go and stay all
night with my chum, and be said I
could. If you was in my place how
would you explain that soap business
to pa ? I don't want to deceive him,
and tell a lie. I guess I will tell him,
it is believed to be the work of an in
cendiary,' and then run. Well I must
go out and get acclimated to this linen
ulster^ before we go to Florida," and the
bad boy went out on a hop, skip and
jump, while the groceryman looked at
bim ?s though he would like & murder
him in cold blood.?Peck's Sun.
The Stuff that Startles.
Few people know what dynamite is,
though the word is in common use. It
is a giant gunpowder; that is, an ex
plosive material, varying in "strength
and safety of handling according.to the
per-centage of nitro-glycerine it con
tains. Nitro-glycerine, wneuc? it de
rives its strength, is composed of ordi
nary glycerine and nitric acid : com
pounded together in certain proportions
and at a certain temperature. Nitro
glycerine, though not the strongest ex
plosive known, be?Dg exceeded in pow?r
by nitrogen and other prodccts of chem
istry, is thus far the most terrible ex
plosive manufactured to any exteuf.
N^tro-glycerine by itself is no* safe to
Handle, hence dynamite is preferred.
It is extensively made and consumed in
the United States, under the various
names of Giant, Hercules, Jupiter and
Atlas powders, all of which contain.any
wbere7rom thirty to eighty per cent, of
nitro-glycerine, the balance of the com- ,
pound being made up of rotten stone;
uon-explosive earth, sawdust, charcoal,
plaster of Paris, black powder or some
other substance that takes up the gly
cerine and makes a porous, spongy
mass.
'Nitro-glycerine was discovered by
Salver?, an Italian chemist, in 1845.
Dynamite is prepared by simply knead
ing with the naked hands twenty-five
per cent, of iufusorial earth a d Seventy
five per cent, of nitro-glycerine unj?l
the mixture assumes a putty, conditici,
not unlike moist brown sugar. Before
mixing, the infusorial earth is calcined
in a furnace in order to burn out all or
ganic-matter, and it is also sifted to free
it of large grains.., While still moist if
is squeezed into cartridges, which are
prepared of parchment paper, and the
firing is done by fulminate of silver in
copper capsules provided with patent
expIoGcrs.
Nitro-glycerine is made of nitrio acid
one part and sulphuric acid two parts,
to which is added ordinary glycerine,
and the'mixture is well washed with
pure water. The infusion is composed
of small, microscopic silicious shells,
which have lost their living creatures.
Tbe cellular parts receive the nitro
glycerine .and hold it bv capillary at
traction, both inside and out. The earth
is very light. Water is expelled from
it by means of a furnace, and then, in
the form of a powder, it is mixed
with nitro-glycerine. Nitro-glycerine.
bas a sweet, aromatic, pungent
taste, and tbe peculiar property
of causing a violent headache when
placed in a. small quantity on the
tongue or wrist. It freezes at 40 de
grees Fahrenheit, becoming a white,
balf-crystalized mass which must be
melted by the application of water at a
temperature of about 100 degrees
Fahrenheit.?Cincinnati Enquirer.
Had Suspended:
'Ah,' he said, as the door opened,
'but do I address the lady of the house?'
'No sir,' replied the girl, as her face
melted a little; *I am the house-keeper.'
Um. She is out then7'
'Yes, sir?gone to the skating rink.'
'And the gentleman?'
'He's gone off to a raffle.'
Urn. Any daughters?'
Two of 'em. sir. Tbe oldest, which
is Fannie, is across the way learning
how to play eucber, and the other,
which is Susie, has rigged up as an ac
tress and gone down to have a statu
esque photograph taken.'
Um. No sons?'
'Only, one. sir, and this is the hour
when he takes his boxing lessons. Did
you wish to; see any one In particular?'-!
Well, I'm taking in orders for the
Family Bible, and I was io hopes to se
cure a subscriber. Pebapsyou-*
Oh, it's no use talking, siri' she in
terrupted, as the door began to close.
'My beau brought me in fifteen dime
novels last night, and I goto three dan
ces a week, and I'm just catching on to
old sledge, and really, sir, you had bet
ter hit the family next door. I'thiok
wc have suspended business in your line
of goods.' _'
Mr. Elliott Whetstone had a figjit
with. Mr. C. M. Hutto, of Orang?burg,
last week. Mr. Hutto cut Mr. Whet
I stoue. Mr. Whetstone and Mr. Hutto
wer3 both drunk. Mr. Hatto was
lodged in jail to answer to a charge of
' assault and battery with intent to kill.
1 Mr. Whetstone may get over it, al
l' though he is badly injured.
A New-PasMoned Flood Gr?te.
Dr. E. J. Rembert, of Sumter. re
cently exhibited in Charleston; a model
of an automatic flood-gate, a new in
vention, which can be adapted to mill
ponds, rice fields, tidal drains and all
places where it is desired to regulate
the flow of water through iati enclosed
place. The invention is not only re
markable for its great labor saving
properties, but also for the simplicity,
with which it works. It works auto,
matically by means of a lever and ie
easily explained: '- The gate is'swung
between a frame composed of two up
right posts.aod a cross-beam. On the
top of this beam is placed a lonjc
beam which acts asa lever. A bucket
with several holes pierced in it ie
fastened to the rear end of this lever,
and leading from the pond of water
to this backet is a Jong trough at
tached to the main frame at a desired
level. When the water rises above'
this level it flows through the trough.
and falling into the bucket with a cer
tain weighted force, carries down the ?
lever and releases the gate1 from ite
catch. The gate, which is arranged
with wings for the purpose, is then
swung around on its axis by the pres
sure of the water, and being held up
by a short cross bar attached to ine
front eud of the lever, leaves a clear
openirrg'for the passage of the water.
When it is necessary.for, the gate to
be closed, or in . other words, when,
the water in the pond or whatever
place it may be has goiie.dpwo to thV
given level, it stops runh?ng'?trouga""?
the trough and the water in the bucket
pours out through the holes in it. ?
The lever being thus lightened of its
weight goes up and the g?te f?te
back into its place; conjpletely- shot-1
ting off the flow of water. It St?
claimed that this gate does away with
the old fashioned cumbersome flood
gate, which has to be worked by band
and requires to be watched night and:
day during a'rainy spell. The gate-*
was invented by Mr. Jas. ?. Gallo
way, of Sumter; .... l , -
A Eeformatory for Youthful
Criminals/yJ
The News and Courier of Friday lias
a very interestinig and valuable article
on youthful criminals,* which, we- pub
lish for the benefit of our readers. Jn
commenting upon this it says': : "South
Carolina will have accomplished a great
deal, when there snail %Q'zk^1h?tY of
reformatory for juvenile, offenders, ' It
is true that nearly, all these jo^io?e
criminals are colorectehildreiu but .this
is no cause for inaction, aod.is no safe
guard agai*-?t'danger/ There' S^mofe
need, indeed; of stringent' measure* of
reform with the colored' children iiaan
with white children. It would be diffi
cult to reform colored children^perhaps,
under a suspension of sentence, as in
Massachusetts, but there * wonld?&e' a
chance for tbem, ami some hope for
*bem, if.they.jcouid.be put under' proper *
restrictions iu reformatories, instead of
being thrust into the penitentiary to
become hopelessly ^ueb?sed ?.nS '??pri?
ved. There" ?s" ' another*? suggestion
which is worthy of noie, although- it is
wrde-ofrthe immediate/., subject/.. It. is
that, in the managetnen t. of public-iosti
tnttons having the care and 'eir?o3y4ot
worn entun? children, including the in
sane and the blind, deaf aod'dumb, the
State should allowwomeoto be repre
sented on. the Boards of Control, there
b|*?vailiag itself of woman's superior
j segment in household affairs" and 'of
her knowledge of the wants Of B?r own
sexi In some jiuhappy ins tau ces;it
has been found that delicacy, on. the
part of the female, sobqr&oates,"* n'as
stood in the way of their coin m o c ica
ting to the' managing board important
information necessary to the protection
of the inmates. We agree with Presi
dent Letchworth in his remark, thai to
deprive female, inmates, suffering"either ?
from bodily or ment?i: diseases, of that
protection which is insured them by the
participation of their own sex in ' the
management of the institution, is an
unwise exercise of power which , must
result in unhappiness, if not great in
Charlie ?. Brownlee, a,; negro,
murdered very mysteriously, Friday,
20th ult., oearC Antr?ville, ?n Abb?*
ville Couoty. Trial Justice Harkn?s*
held an:inquest' but failed to- find any
clue to the murderer.. . The relatives of
Brownlee not being satisfied, they sent
for the Coroner who held another: in
quest, in which a man nato ed John Ale
wine was criminated and th? jury found
a verdict in accordance therewith..
The heads of th? bank notes of ffiffeV
ent denominations are not getferafly
known, and very few persona can teU
what portraits are on the different notes.
They are as follows; On United States
?-?1, Washington; ?2, Jefferson:
Ja?kson; ?10, Webster* ?20,; Hamilton;
?50, Franklin; $100; Lincoln; ^ ,
Gen. Mansfield; $l,000,.:De Witt GUo
ton; ?5.000, Madison; $10,000..Jack
son. On silver, certificates??10, Rob
ert Morris; ^0, Com. I)ecatur;?50,
Edward Everett; ?1?0,: Jam?s^VJonr?e;
?500, Charles:cShmner; and ?I;0(K>, W.
L Marcy On gold, otes??20; Gar
field; ?50* Silas Wright; ?100. Thpmw
H. Bentou; $500, A. Lincoln; $l,l000,
Alexander Hamilton; "$5.000^ James
Madison; and ?10,000 Andrew Jackson.
,Jt is indeed ar mighty severe old bit
ter that has no sweet clinging to ita
outer vestments. The recent dynamite
explosion ' in London was terribly
alarming and deeply eare est to the no
bility ; but sti4i it has lifted a great
load from the shoulders of the m?rt?ed
men of that metropolis. Of course ^o
man can be expected to carry '& ?*
for his wife, now, that the^police have
orders to watch aod arrest all package
bearers. ?
Wayne Powers and fr??rge*Gil?ionx
were hanged ?t ' Eaetvtlle^ Vat?flaet
Friday, for the murder, of^WS?jfcm
Gibson last April, I?oth addressed
the ciowd ?ckiiowledgiug tbefr guilt
j and exone^tibg^aBah ?ow?xs> .who
I was 'also * convicted the^afnjjjo^
j fence, buWeprieve^ ^uwe^^n ?
? pamphlet, confessed havjngattetn^ed
1 to murder his own br?iherla?#roany
. others. He ascribed alJ1its54i>e* to
\ "whisky, cards and^is#te.V--^?Fesi*.