Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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TBS SUMTER WATCHMAN, Established April, 1850. kBe Just and Fear not-Let all the Ends thou Aims't at, be thy Country's thy God's, and Truth's." THE TREE SOUTHRON, Established Juno, 1S60. Consolidated Aug. 2, 1881.1 PnMUhod ?Tery Tuesday, -BT THE Watchman and Southron Publishing Company, SUMTER, S. C. TERMS: Two Dollars per anana-In advance. ADVERTISEMENTS. 0?e Square, first insertion.$1 00 livery subsequent insertion. 50 . Contracts for three months, or longer will be made at reduced rates, fr AU communications which subserve private interests will be charged for as advertisements. Obituaries and tributes of respect will be charged for. Marriage .not ice* and notices of deatbs pul> {?sucffffcec For Job work or contracts for advertising address Waickman and Sontitron, or apply at ; the Office, to N. G. CSTKEN, Business Manager. : ItAST WnW. She barely twenty, and her eyes - Are very soft aod very blue, Her Hps seem made for sweet replies, Perhaps they were made for kisses, too. Her little teeth are white as pearl, Ser nose aspires to the sky, She really is a charming girl, . Aad I adored ber last Joly. We danced and swam and bowled and walked, She let me squeeze her finger tips, Entranced I listened when she talked, And trash seemed wisdom from ber lips. i sent ber ro^es fill my purse <t Was drained I found completely dry. I longed to sing ber charms in verse, Bat aU of this was last Joly. Of coursent last we bad to part, I saw a tear drop on-her cheek, I felt ber with an aching heart, And dreamed about her for a week. Bat ont of sight is ont of mind, And somehow as the time went by, Hoch fainter I began to find The memory of last July. Joly has come again at last, With sommer gowns the rocks are gay, It seems an echo of the -past To meet ber on the beach to-day. She's even fairer than of yore, And yet I could not tell jou why, I find the girl an awfui bore , ; So long it is since last July. Sophie G. Lawrence. Bill Arp's Soliloquies on the Progress of Invention. . RUMINATIONS ON HIS VISIT TO SUMTER. A\Neto motton- Picker and How It Works- The Sewing Machine, and How It was Firfht Received-An agc Which Cansen the Bartow Philoso? pher to Meditate. I have seen the cotton picker. Con? fidence ts a plant of slow growth. I Tcmerober that wheo thc newspapers first began to "tcH as about a sewing machine that Elias Howe bad invented abai would do as much work in a day as a bondred women with their needles I was incredulous and I was indignant. I didcot believe that a machine could imitate the nimble, delicate hands, and I felt Kke I dident want it to do it j nohow. My good mother had been j sewing for mc years and years, and when sbe finished for her darling son. a nice pleated bosom shirt I was proud j of her and proud of the shirt too. But -time rolled on and thc Grover & Baker machine got to circulating around and I found out that it was a good thing and j would save a power of work, and so I bought one for my wife without any j premonition What a beautiful seam? stress she was. J How nicely did she manipulate the I needle and how dearly I loved to sit by I and see ber make stitch after stitch on I -the murrin or calico or them other gar- I -meets and things that women and dril- j ?dren and infants bad to wear. Wc I have bad infants ai ear bouse, various infants, aod it has been a world of work to keep 'em agoing and stop 'em from I squalling, but there has been pleasure in it. My good wife took it all natu? rally and like a maternal heroine as she -is. I thought ft was right funny for a while, but the fun wore off and I set lied down to business. Wc have Tais-1 ~e? children by the pound and by the -dosen and by the cord bot wo have never bad one come to our bouse that waseot welcome for they always came j decca?y and io good order and they have grown op to be good boys and better giris and gladden our hearts with their presence. But I have got off the track af my thoughts. I bare seen the cotton picker and I want to tell you about it. I Now I dident believe that any ma? cbrae could take the place of human fingers in sewing and just so I have been incredulous about this cotton pick? ing business. The truth is I made sport of it and told our folks that it was impossible, utterly impossible, for no machine could see, it dident have eyes j and couldent find thc bolls and some of -the bolls were half open and some two thirds and some hung down and some stood up and some opened east and some opened west and some one way and some another and so I had no faith, not a bit. While here at Snmter I was invited to walk out to Mr. Mason's workshop, and I went. Mr. Mason is a bright in? telligent man about thirty years old He loves company and loves to talk aod will lay down bis tools and tell you everything he knows, I don't suppose be bas any secrets from anybody, no doors locked, no private room, no bid? ing place for his wonderful work. He shows you everything and tells you what be thinks of doing that he has not done. He gave me one of thc little revolving tubes that picks the cotton from the bolls. It is seven inches long and about 1J inches in diameter. This little thing is the invention. All thc rest of the contrivance is to pot it in motion. Fonr dozen of them will bc workiog at once on a cotton stock and if there is any cotton open they will find it. There are two upright cylinders three feet high that straddle a cotton row like a sulky plow straddles a row of corn and these little tubes revolve horizontally in the cylinders. They toro rouad and round rapidly. The cylinders revolve on their axis and these tabes revolve on theirs as they follow the cylinders round and round. They are sure to touch every boll and i? the cotton bas opened and swells out I a fraction of an inch thc little delicate ?foists of the nickers get it and roll it ail ottt in an instant and by a reversed | motton unload it on a platform and from there it is carried up and put io a sack and packed until it is full. Horse power pulls the machine along the row. The machine weighs three hundred pounds. Some of them are made for three feet cotton and some for four and some for five. I saw the little spindles set to work on cotton bolls half open? ed and they left nothing, and yet they will revolve in your hand and not hurt you or prick you. There are 300 sharp points in each spindle. They are just under the surface and will catch the lint but not catch your Acth or the leaves or the stems. The imperfect machine of last year picked 300 pounds an hour. Tbe perfect machine which be bas now is expected to pick 600 pounds an bour. Mr. "Mason bas bis own machinery, makes kia own lathe and bis dies and stamps and wheels and everything. He is backed by capital unlimited and bas refused a million of dollars that was offered bim. He is making large machines for Texas and Arkansas and smaller ones for the east? ern states. His plan is to charge a royalty and ?et the machines be made anywhere. It is a thing of life and sense and does just what you tell it to do. When the cotton is well open for the first picking it goes along and picks and theo you wait for the next picking. It takes in no trash or dead leaves, noth? ing bot cotton. Now he has a gin that operates on the same principle. These little pickers bave expanded into a cylinder as long as the shaft and as large round as a gio saw and they catch the lint and an iron bar keeps the seed from following the lint and forces them bael;. The Hot is not cut or torn. He is using a Windship frame, taking out the saws and putting his cylinder in their place. It gins twice as fast as the saws and there is no danger to hands or arms, I put my open hand on the cylinder while it was making 2,000 revolutions a minute. He drop fed a baodfal of shingle nails in thc opening and they were carried through in an instant and did no harm. Ex? perts from northern factories say the lint is worth ten per cent more than lint cut by thc old method. I was ruminating over this new mode of picking cotton, and to my mind it is going to work a revolution iu our farm? ing. In thc first plaac a poor mau can't boy one. In the next place he can't afford to give fifty cents a hun? dred for picking wheo bis nabor, who has got a machine eau pick his for ten cents a hundred or less. Then again j thc machine wont work well on rough [ or hilly land, and so that kind of land wtU have to be planted io something else. So I take it that poor folks and poor . land will have to quit cotton, and that will bc a blessing. It may be, how- ? ever, that some enterprising fellers will : buy a machine and go about in the set? tlement picking for'the farmer just like they go about now threshiug their ? wheat. What will bccomc.of thc nigger , women and children in cotton time, I dont know ; maybe we can hire them , to cook and wash after while wheo they cant get anything else to do, I , hope so. Sumter is a good old town ; the best shaded town I know of; elms and water oaks everywhere, and lovely cot- , tage homes set back io spacious lots and i surrounded with shade and beautiful < flowers, and the sweetest girls sitting j in thc broad piazzas, and thc prettiest j children playing in the grass, and thc good people are so hospitable and home- , like and thc preachers so gentle and , kind and have such good eating, and j our jolly landlord of thc Jcrvcy house , so merry and entertaining. There is ( no chance to be blue or homesick io , Sumter. I never passed two days more j pleasantly and had rather make an ( annual pilgrimage her? tbao anywhere I have beca. Thc best prospect for a coming crop thct I have seen, is herc The cotton is splendid and the corn high and heavily cared all thc way to Man- ? ning, which is another lovely town, { though not so old or so large as Sum- ? ter. These people go slow but they , go sure and live happily and content. . They show content and leisure in their j form and feature, in their walk and , conversation. They are not io a bur- ( ry. They have time to talk to you. ( They love their state and their towns ( aod their people. They stand up to j their preachers aod their statesmen. , Their boys are sober aod diligent and j manly, and their girls arc modest. I . wish thc boys and girls were so every where, but they arc not. I was in a , town not long ago and a good man told ; mc he had but one daughter, and there was not a young roan in the town he . was willing for her to marry, for they all drink on the ply and had no good g principles to back them. Then I heard , a young man in another town say he ? could not marry because he could not . afford to, for the best girls did nothing j but dress and visit, and he was afraid ( to marry one of them Well, that is bad and sad, aint ?t ? But may bc the picture is overdrawo, I hope so. One thing I koow. Thc hope of thc nation and ifs salvation is io these small, unpre? tending towns and the good farming country that supports them. The young folks are not afraid to marry and they do marry and go to work and live happily and humble and do not strain to keep up with society, society ! Fashionable, hypocritical society. I know of no greater curse to any land or people. I wish every young man when he marries had thc courage to say to his society friends, 'Now, sec here, we have started out with small capital and we can't follow you. When you aro sick I will nurse you, when you die I will help dig thc grave and bury you, but dou't you try to toll my wife off into your extravagant notions and your society ways.' BILL ARV. Boiling Eggs Hard. If eggs are boiled hard for any pur? pose, boil for 20 or 30 minutes. Wc often have hard-boiled egg? for luncheon and I always boil them a long time. If cooked just long enough to make them very hard they arc very indigesti? ble, but when long boiled the yolk be? comes soft and mealy, and thc whole egg is nutritious. Cleveland is a Presbyterian. So is Blaine. So is Hendricks. Logan is a Methodist. Teachers as Pupils. On Tuesday morning, July 15, thc State Normal Institute held its fifth an? nual Session in the walls of Wofford College. Thc Institute was opened by Dr. Whitefoord Smith, who invoked God's blessing on the exercises of the institute and on those who had accepted as their life work, thc training of im? mortal natures. Ou the chapel rostrum were seated the State Superintendent of Education, Col. Asbury Coward, Dr. B S. Joyncs, Chairman of the Faculty of the Insti? tute, Dr. J. H. Carlisle, Capt. J. W. Carlisle and Prof. D. B. Johnson, of the Columbia Graded School. Capt. Jno. W. Carlisle, on behalf of the city, welcomed the teachers to Spar? enburg, the Atheos of South Carolina. Io *<he words of 0De of the Teachers 'His kindly words of cheer made us feel that we were truly welcome.' Dr. Jas. H. Carlisle, Pres. of Wofford College, turned over his building to the faculty of the Normal Institute and welcomed both teachers and teacher-pupils in an earnest, forceful, and appropriate speech. Col. Coward replied in a chaste and elegant address of thanks. Thc charm of his diction was enhanced by the ?ellow cadence of his voice, and the gracefulness of bis delivery. We were all delighted with our genial Superintendent of Education. Dr. Joynes referred feelingly to that other Institute which was held here five years ago. It was the first Normal In? stitute ever held in South Carolina, and was under thc guidance of Prof. Sold?n. His beloved friend was no longer here in person, but he hoped his spirit would still be present in those halls, and that this Institute would prove as pleasant and profitable as its predecessor. He dwelt on the impor? tance of Education and of knowing bow to educate. He then unfolded the plan of thc exercises of the Institute. The exercises begin at 8 50 of the clock : at 9, Miss Bonham, teaches a 'Model School' of little boys and girls, and shows by practical illustration how lit? tle children should be taught; at 9.35 Prof. Johnson gives lessons in Mathe? matics. At 10.10 Prof. Joyncs lectures on English Grammar. At 10.45. Thc whole school join in sing? ing led by Prof. Witherow. At 11.05 Prof. Woodward leads the school in an exceedingly interesting 'study of words.' A^ 11.40 Prof. Woolwinc, lectures for thirty-five minutes on 'Pedagogics/ or how to manage a school. At 12 85 y&ss Bonham exercises thc school for twenty minutes in Calisthenics; at 12.35 Prof. Wbithcrow lectures on 'Physics,'or 'Physiology.' From 1.15 to 2, Miss Gibbes gives drawing les? sons to all who desire to take them. Some of thc exercises arc exceedingly instructive and entertaining, even to those who arc uot teachers. The facul? ty is composed of Dr. E. S. Joynes of South Carolina College, Principal In 3tructor in English Grammar. Prof. D. B. Johnson, Principal of Columbia Graded School, Prof. of Mathematics : Prof. Witherow, Physics, Physiology and Music; Prof. H. Means Davis, History and Geography ; Prof. Wood? ward, of Wofford College; study of Words. Prof. S S Woolwinc, Prin? cipal of the Nashville Public School, Pedagogics, Miss A. E. Bonham, of Columbia, Infant School and Calisthen? ics, and Miss Gibbes, of Charleston, Drawing. The attendance on the Institute is rory flattering. About 100 are eu *ollcd on the books and in addition to beso large numbers of our citizens both uale and female attend daily. Thc svenings will bc occupied in social gatherings in thc City Hall. The In? stitute will last about a month.-Sjxir anhurg Herald. Cleveland's Birthplace. Caldwell, Essex county, this State, s situated among thc Orange moun ains about sixteen miles from Newark, rho elevation is very high, and during he summer season the boarding-houses md hotels are crowded with visitors Vom New York. Trains on the Dela? ware, Lackawana and Western railroad sonvey the travellers as far as Mont? clair, where they are met by stages and Iriveu up thc mountain over one of thc inest boulevard pavements in thc coun? try. The village numbers about eight juodrcd houses. Thc settlement of strangers in thc place has been on such x meagre scale during the past fifty fears, that nearly all thc families claim lome kind of relationship. The place was first settled by a colony of Pennsyl? vania Germans, and as the families in? creased, bc:'s"s were erected until a vil? lage was formed. During the revolu? tionary war. Lafayette hearing of the (icroic deeds of thc sturdy old Dutch settlers went many miles out of his way to pay them respect. Ile was ac? corded a warm welcome, and thc sons if the veterans of those times speak with great pride in relating that their parents assisted in honoring the brave Frenchman. The residents arc Demo? cratic to thc core, the writer upon a re? cent visit having discovered but two Republicans in the entire district. Thc village consists of two country stores, one large hotel, a handsome stone church where members of thc Presby? terian faith worship, a large tobacco factory, and several small workshops. Below thc village proper is situated the county jail, erected a few years since, where the convicts from Newark and other places sentenced to short terms arc confiued. Very few of the villagers have been accommodated, as they are quiet, orderly persons, a heinous crime not being known to have been com? mitted to thc recollection of thc oldest inhabitant. A murder was once com? mitted a few miles from thc village, but it was many years ago. The Passaic river courses by thc village, furnishing sport to the followers of Isaac Walton. In thc winter thc merchants from New York spcud weeks hunting game of all kiuds, which is abundant. Thc most prominent families in thc place who are thc descendants of thc original settlers arc the Meads, Jacobuses Spcarscs Cranes and Courters. Thc place will shortly be reached by railroad from New York, as workmen have com? menced thc construction of a new road leading to the town.-Camden (N. J.) Courier. What Our Editors Say. Greenville IVeict. The Abbeville Press and Banner objects to the description of the Pierian Puddle at Columbia as a 'so called' university. Webster defines the word 'university' thus: .A universal school in which arc taught all branches of learning, or thc four faculties of theology, medicine, law and the sciences and arts ; an as? semblage of colleges established in any place with professors for instructing students in thc sciences and other branches of learning, and where degrees are conferred.' Does the South Carolina University (so called) fit this description ? If it does not, is it not proper to describe it as an 'alleged' t)r 'so called) university, and to allude to it as a sham ? When this State becomcp, as wc hope she may, very rich and pros? perous, and there is a public school adequately provided and taught open to every child nine months in every year, wc will enthusiastically support a movement of a million dollars for a university which wil be an appropriate pinnacle for our educational fabric. But while thc State is disgraced by scattered log cabin school houses open from two to five months at a time and provided with dog's cared spelling books and teachers on starvation wages, we will never cease to protest against thc anuual appropriation of from twenty to thirty thousand dollars for free tuition in studies not absolute? ly necessary of young men able to pro? vide for themselves. If every other county in the State sends representatives to support these iniquitous appropriations wc want to see Greenville send a solid anti-univer? sity, anti-citadel delegation every time. That is one of thc points candidates must be made to express their inten? tions about. Wilmington Review. It was the subject of general remark that thc recent Democratic Convention in Chicago brought together a larger mass of people than had ever before been attracted by a popular assemblage. The principal streets of Chicago were, during thc Convention week, so block? ed with thc crowds that it was an abso? lute labor to make ODO'S way through them. One of those in attendance on thc Convention took thc trouble to col? lect some statistics before his depar? ture as to thc business of thc two lead? ing hotels, tho Grund Pacific and the Palmer, which will give an idea of the hotel business generally. Klcvcu hun? dred people slept every night uodcr the roof of thc Grand Pacific, and more than 1,500 ate every day at its tables. Some 2,100 persons lay in bcd and cots at the Palmer House each night, and 5,000 were fed in its spacious din? ing-rooms. Although there were so roany more pesons in town during the Democrat i ; Convention than during the sessions of the Republican Conven? tion, it was a subject of common re? mark that there was much less drink? ing at thc latter than at thc former. With several thousand more strangers in town, thc daily receipts of the bar at the Palmer House for the period cov? ered by thc Democratic Convention averaged only $1,000 as against $1,400 per day when thc Kcpublicaus held pos? session. It may bc that one of the reasons for this was because every one )f the Democratic Convention had to pay for what he drank, while at the Liepublican Convention the overflowing barrel of some of thc candidates 'put np' liquid refreshments by the whole? sale for all who cared to partake. A Warning. Wilmington Star. When a Republican Administration iicks out of office an old Confederate veteran like James Longstreet no one in thc South ought to bc sorry A dis? tinguished Confederate soldier lost char? acter that moment he prostituted bira ?elf for office. He is made to walk thc plank because of 'carelessness and inefficiency.' If all thc liepublican office-holders in the country who are i intenable to that charge were driven jut there would be thousands of. open? ings for faithful and competent men. [t seems that 'carelessness and ineffi? ciency' arc regarded at Headquarters is worse crimes than low methods and political debauchery. Men of the low? est morals hold office. Arthur has in bis Cabinet an officer who has such a bad reputation that the Congress was unwilling to place large sums in his bauds for thc rehabilitation of thc Navy. )5ut poor Longstreet has to go out of office under thc charge of utter incapacity. Longstreet and M alione have lost much of their character since they sold out and went into thc enemy's camp for provender aud pelf. Tho State Superintendent of Edu? cation. Abbeville Press and Banner. Our much beloved friend of thc Yorkville Enquirer, makes thc follow? ing remarkable statement or apology in behalf of thc State Superintendent who has, in our opinion totally neglect? ed thc duties of his office : .lt will bc remembered that in 1882, when thc call upon Col. Coward to ac? cept this position was spontaneous from almost every section of the State, he felt it his duty to declino thc proffered honor, and another worthy name was substituted by thc State Convention for his. This gentleman declined thc nom? ination, and a meeting of thc County Chairmen of thc various counties was called in Columbia to select a candi? date Thc position was again urged upon Col. Coward, and he consented to accept the nomination, provided he would not be required to make his resi? dence at tho capital, and that, thc duties of the office should not render it necessary for him to discontinue his school in Yorkville.' There are perhaps a thousand good and competent men in South Carolina, who would be glad to get. so good an office as that of State Superintendent of Education, and yet thc Executive Committee beg a school master at Yorkville to take the office and draw the pay. while ho ts teaching school, and consequently absolutely unable to ?discharge thc duties required of-him by law. The State Superintendent of Education, in our opinion, has done literally nothing except to draw the salary, and go to Washington where he exposed his lack of information as to the schools. Keeping Fruits Without Cans. [Thc following seems to bc almost too interesting and valuable to bc true; but coming as it does from thc Editor of the Sharon (Mass.) Advocate, with the statement that thc method bas worked well, unfailingly io bis own experience, for two years, it is certainly worthy of attention and experiment. The theory has been that the preservation of fruits, to tightly sealed cans, resulted from the exclusion of the oxygen of the air. ED.] SHARON, MASS., July 5. Editor Prairie, Farmer: In pre serving fruits for the family, it is often desirable to use bowls and other ves* sels, that can not bc sealed up, for holding the preserves. This can be done, and the fruit kept securely for any length of time, by closing all apertures with cotton batting. We usc the unglazed batting, such as is sold in the stores rolled up in blue paper. Direction : Use crocks, stone butter jars, or any other convenient dishes. Prepare and cook the fruit precisely as for canning in glass jars ; fill your dishes with thc fruit while it is yet bot, and immediately cover with cotton batting securely tied on. Re? member that all putrefaction is caused by the invisible creatures in the air. Cooking the fruit expels all these, and as they can not pass through cotton batting thc fruit thus protected will keep an indefinite period. Thc writer of this has kept berries, cherries, plums, and many other kinds of fruit for two years with uo cover save batting on the jars. W. 13. WICKES. Down on Lindley. General Logan had made one of his furious assaults on thc Democracy mid thc English grammar, which thc Free Press of Detroit, commenting on thc next day, called attention to by saying that "thc renegade from thc ranks of thc Democracy had made one of his brutal assaults again on Lindley Mur ray. "Now," cried John, furiously, "that's a specimen of thc lyiug scoun? drels' way, blank 'em. I am charged with attacking a man I don't know and ucver heard of. I suppose it is some low-lived Democrat they arc trying to force into notice. Who is Lindley Murray, anyway ? My dear, did you ever hear of Lindley Murray ?" "Ile was a man, dear, who wroto a gram? mar," responded his wife. "Well," roared John, "suppose he did ; I'll bet it is full of treason as Conger of con? ceit, but I never saw him, never heard of bim, blank 'cm."-Donn Platt. - i- tm How to Tako a Pill. Having noticed that if a person at meals inclined thc head backwards, as in laughing, while there was food in thc mouth, they were pretty certain to bc strangled from "thc food's going thc wrong way," I instructed those of my patients who had difficulty to swallow pills, to heep the head in thc position they would if eating and swallowing at the table-that is, thc head inclined forward, thc chin near thc breast-and keep it in that position. If a small por? tion of the saliva be on band, or a small quantity of water taken after the pill is put in thc month, it will surprise the patient and gratify thc doctor to witness the facility with which it will bc swal? lowed. To direct thc patient to keep his eyes on bis toes, I have found a help to keep thc head in thc proper position. -Health and Home. A Novel Hen. A Cape Vincent man has constructed a sheet imo hen that promises to lay him a golden ecg. It is finished up to life, full size, cackles, clucks and looks with one eye at a time so naturally that it deceives thc oldest hcu hawk in the country. It is so fixed that when a hawk, mink or polecat ponoccs on it, tbc back springs open and the wings By up and force the -assailant on to a ravenous buzz-saw that makes 1,700 revolutions a minute. After moving half a minute thc saw stops, thc hen closes up, folds its wings, and begins to cackle as though it had just laid an egg. One winding up will answer for three massacres, provided the rather delicate machinery does not get clogged up with too much blood, bones, and feathers. It is going to bc a hard thing to keep up with and correct campaign lies. Ilusscll Sage is reported to be insane because bc lost ?5,000,000 out of $20, 000,000. He caused a great many suicides and lunatics before Nemesis got him ou thc hip. Thc largest fcc ever allowed a law? yer iu this country was paid to Col. James W. Davis, counsel iu a celebra? ted land case at Charleston, Weet Vir? ginia, week before last. Thc sum promises to exceed $100,000. 'Arc there any more jurymen who have a prejudice against you?' whis? pered thc young lawyer. 'No Boss, dc jury am all right, but I wants you to challenge the jedge. 1 has been 'victed twice before under him and may bc he is 'giuuing to bab a prejudice against mc' At thc recent term of Court in ridgefield county tho Grand Jury, recommended that the County Com? missioners bc instructed to purchase a scrap book suitable for thc purpose in which ?nay bc placed the present? ments of each Grand dury as a bord; of reference, and that thc Clerk of tho Court be charged with tho safe keeping of said book. Not a bad idea. The few so-called laboring men. says thc Host on Post-, who proposes to bolt ('loveland are a set of fellows who would starve, yea, even go without liquor, rather than work. They can make more noise in proportion to their numbers than a grammar school on a picnic, and with all their fluxing round, they have about as much influence as a fly in a thunder storm. 1 BEANS AND BIG FISHES. Tarns Worth Telling Reeled Off by a Sailor Man. "Look alive, now!" shouted a red faced sailor to a waiter in a Water street restaurant. "Ayo, aye, sir," replied the waiter, taking the captain's measure and mark? ing him mentally for a plate of corned beef and cabbage. "Wot shall I bring alongside?" * "Bring mo a dish of Marblehead tur? key, and look alive," repeated the customer, who a moment later was deep in the mysteries of baked beans. "That's a new name for beans, isn't it?" inquired a person at the same table. "My father called'em so," replied the skipper. "I'm a Beverly man my? self, and wo consider that aour beans lie a trifle closer to the wind when close hauled than on the east coast Beans is the mainstay of New England folks. They talk about tish makin' brains; I tell ye it's beans. Why, Lord bless ye! Look around here in New York. Look at your prosperous Americans. They're most of 'em besn-eatin' Yankees. De? prive a Down Easter of his beans, and I tell ye you hit him where the cop? per's off. Ever hear thc story of Capt Elder Mugridge? No? Wal!, he was elder and skipper both-a mighty pious man-and once ho took a trip as far as New York; big thing for him. Wall, they got struck with contrary winds, and mowed off shore about fifty miles. Along comes one of the3c Cunarders, and s oein' the schooner fly in' lier col? ors union down in distress, they slows up and sends off a boat, and after a hard pull in a heavy sea-way they hails the schooner, and the mate sings ao?t: .Schooner ahoy! Yo sinkin'?' 'Not quite so bad,' sings ao?t the elder, .but we're ao?t o' beans. Kin ye let us have a pot?' Wall, they say that that mate nearly bust his windpipe ? swearin'. There was poetry writ on that," added the skipper. "By yourself?" asked his listener. "Wall, I tell ye," repliod tho cap? tain, "between you and mc it was writ by a chap by the name of Jumper in the 'Sailors' ?wn Dook,' in Gloucester, but ordinary, when I spins thc yarn, it's supposed I'm tho one that writ it. Some o the lines wants ilin' and over haulm', but it's wot they call blank verse, lt goes like this: A ship once crossing over the sea I tell the story RS 'twas told to mc Mudo a hundred ra?cs or so from shorn, When a craft was one day seen that boro Her flag reversed, while 'gainst tb* mast The torn bai s fluttered os thc wind rushed past. "Out with the boat?" thc captain cried. And tho seamen darted over the side; Their oars fell In with a rejrular dip. As they rapidly neared the silent stop. When they reached the deek a tsi^ht met their eyes Which made them start with ft fearful sur? prise. All around on the deck thc crew were lyinjr. And groaning aloud as tho' they were dying; The captain alone on a hen-coop sn'. With bis face in hie hands and a weed on bis hat: lio fr?zed on thom all with n. blood-shot ovo. And the crew looked up with a heartrending sigh. "Say. why do you raise the flair of distress, And sit around deek in idleness? Arc you out of food? Have you used up youl water? Have you got the plague? Or what is thc matter?" .'We came from flcvcr?y, and that nigna) means, That for fud tbrco days we've been out ol boa ns." "That's poetry wot is pootry," said the skipper, "but food never "bothered mc much. 1 was always lookin' ao?t for tish, and I've got the name of lin feriu" the biggest fish agoin'. I rought a halibut into Boston once that weighed over 6'?X) pounds. I reckon that beats thc deck. I've seen seven halibut that weighed together 1.732 Eoivtds taken by thc schooner John ?ovo in 1871." "What was the largest codfish you ever caught?'' asked the listener. ? "Hundred and four pounds," was tho reply, "and it was over live foot long. But Capt Martin, of Gloucester, caught the biggest that I ever heard on. It weighed 111 pounds. I'vo caught a lobster that weighed 20 pounds, and a horse mackerel weighing 600 pounds. I once tackled onto the biggest fish in the world," continued thc skipper. "A whale?" asked the other. "A whale ain't a tish," retorted the man of the sea. "This one, I reckon, was a devil-fish-one o' these 'ere broadside fellows thirty foot across, all beam, and drawin' abaout six inches. We was lyin' in harbor, when I seo a big ripple movin'araound, and think? ing it a big horse mackerel I jumps in? to the boat and gits thc lads to pull near it and when alongside I tosses the iron into it, and Lord bless yo! I though the hull reef was arisin'. ?fish riz that looked like the vessel herself, and in a minute wc was a-rushin' daown tho channel in a way that was a caution to sinners. Thc channel went araound an island, and as wc came around the sccoud time thc tish went right for thc brig. I see wc was a-goin' to hit and sings ao?t, "Cut the rope!' but tho man didn't have any knife. 'Cast it off!' says L 'It's spliced to tho painter,' says ho, and un? der water.' That minute wc struck. Tho fish dove under tho brig, and we, not bein' able to dive, kind o' tele? scoped. Tho dingy just smashed all to pieces. We fell into tho water, and was hauled aboard by the hands, and the piceos kept com in' up all day. "Tho tish? Wall, I reckon he's a-goin' yet Sorao of 'em are thirty feet across, and have kind o' horns at the bead, and often git foul o' anchor and chitins, and hauls vessels along just as if they was boats;"-New York Sun. 'Tis tho Cat. A Bcilin cat has adopted four young foxes. A Daniolsonville. Conn., cat has given birth to seventeen kittens in one litter. H. Stuart Wortley, in Nature, tells an interesting story of a cat found in the Malakoff with its foot pinned to tho ground by a bayonet. For two morn? ings ho took her to tho nearest regi? mental surgeon and had her foot dress? ed. On the third morning the eat went herself to thc doctor's tent, scratched tho canvas to bo let in, and then held up her paw to bc doctored: A felino may be transformed into a fur tile, although sho is often a sill cat -N. Y. Journal. "Again thc eat!" ho wildly exclaim? ed, as aroused from nocturnal dreams, he turned over in bed and listened to an animated solo from an unfeeling feline holding forth in the back yard. -^^p-. ^ . ? In regnnl to crossing the Atlant ie in a small boat, says thc New York Times, it is generally eal le?! a very foolhardy undertaking. In point of (act tho mau who goes to sea in the summer in a j boat so constructed that she cannot j sink amt cannot get full of water, is in ; less danger of drowning than tito man who goes to sea in a big steamer. He mav starve through gelling out of pro? visions, he may perish from want of exorciso or sloop, or iii consequence of exposure to weather, but lie can only drown by falling overboard. JhidiHon's i Top lice i ts. "Is the electrical motor going to b? a success?'' "Yes; it is a success already, and we have one which ia in demand, but we cannot supply them, since we have not power enough to supply our lights." "Shall we ever have a successful elec? tric locomotive engine?" "Yes. There are successful locomotive engines now, but people have no confi? dence in them, and, like electric li<^lit ing, the progress in introducing them will be necessarily slow." "What became of your engine?" "It works cntiroly satisfactory and I has been purchased by a large stock j company, which is planning its practi- j cal introduction. Tho electric engine ? of one sort or r.not?er must come into i usc in the cities. It's cheapness is j enough to bring that about. Three j pounds of coal will produce as much | electrical power from a stationary en- I gino, or five pounds of coal on an elec- i trical locomotivo, as seven pounds of j coal will produce in steam power on your present engines. Then your en? gines are light, your tracks aro light, and thc riding is smooth and velvety and not subject to tho constant joits and jars to which travelers now have to submit. You must remember that your railway tracks aro not built for cars, btu for locomotives. Tho latter weigh three or four times tho former, hav? to havo heavy and costly tracks, which at any considerable rate of speed they hammer with tremendous force and finally wear out. The same thing is true in another way of the ele? vated roads. They rush along the framework, causing it to constantly sway from side to side with a force that can only result in cutting off the bolt-heads, lt takes two men to run a steam locomotive, while the electrical machino requires only one. All these and many oilier tilings make tho ulti msvo introduction of the electrical en? gine ou light . >ads and in the cities certain." "Not on thc great roads?" w"I doubt it. That time may come ! but it is not in sight; but right here in New York you would get rid of dust, I smoke, noise, oil-drippings and eas, j and in tunnels you could havo light : and ventilation where you aro now stilled with smoko and gas and deafen? ed by the noise. The locomotive it? self would furnish all tho light for the train. But people are stupid and won't experiment. They can sec and understand a cable, and drum and, rope, taik of cable roads, but they don't understand tho electric locomotive, ami hence have no coutideneo in it. Timo will bring it all the same." "Will electricity ever help us to nav? igate the air?" "Yes, when wc can get five or six times more power per pound of weight than we now get from the best forms of small engines. Electricity has not done that yet. Here is tho problem," tapning his knee stoutly witli his list. 4 Wc want to get electricity from coal direct without tho intervention of boiler and engine. A good many people are at work on it, too, I tell ; you!" "You arc not?" "Ah, I won't say yet! I won't say even that there is any probability about it-wc don't sec our way at all ! to do it; but I will say it is surely pos- | sible. Zinc and other metals we can j get into electricity at once, but tho trouble is to do that with coal and car? bon. If we could, wc could get six horse power from one pound of coal, while with thc boiler and steam engine we get only one-horse power from three pounds of coal. We can't transmit di? rectly thc power of carbon. If wo ! could thc ocean steamship could have j all of her boiler-room and a great part I of her coal-bunkers for cargo, while tho motive power would not occupy more than one-half tho room at pres? ent devoted to the hoavy engines. Enormous sums would bo saved on con? struction and the costof runuing would bo greatly reduced." **Can ve y not ?jet power enough by chemical electricity to run electric en? gines." ..Certainly-get all wo want and util? ize it." .Only?" "Only wo can't feed our engines without money. In fact, it's money we want, and for that we want the power. Zinc is just as much a combustible in tho battery or jar as coal is in the furnace. But coal develops seven times as much powor as zinc, and zinc costs thirty-five times as much ns coal, a dif? ference in cost per pound of 245 to 1, or 24,500 per cent." "But about thc balloon?" "Well, having lightness with power, wc should not need enough balloon for actual lifting power, and we could at? tain a very high velocity. You oould hold a ton-horse-power motor out in vour hand, and, once in tho air, with live pounds of coal, could the consump? tion bo made direct, the little jigger could go anywhere. Nobody would < w:iut to ascend to any greaS heights j where thc air's resiuanco to tho pro pelter would decrease, but skim along over tho trees and houses, like a bird ? above thc water. Tho rudders could j all be worked, and your ballastless bal- j loon could bo raised or lowered, turned ! to thc right or left, by the motor itsolf. i and a boy could do all tho work. Such an arrangement would scarcely do for j heavy freight, but it would carry passen- j gers nnd mail matter and express par- ? eels, and move readily at 80 to 100 miles j an hour." A New Disease. Among thc curious maladies which j advauciug civilization seems destined j to bring in its train not the least rc- j iuarkable is that on which Parisian , doctors are bestowing a good deal of at? tention just now-thc obliquity o? mind . which has been called peur des c.<?>aec$. ! Thc sufferer is usually a man in appar? ently good health, and is affected with . no premonitory .symptoms, although, on thc other "hand, there are eases j where the malady results from other | diseases, and is introduced by a feel- j ing of weakness and sickness. It gen orally comes on suddenly, when the patient arrives at a particular place or I is brought into the presence of a par- j ticular person. He then is observed to j be ii? mortal terror without any appar- i cut cause. The earth seems to him to ; open into a chasm before Ids feet, or he j linds himself isolated by an immense ; and impenetrable space from the rest ' of the world. If he is on the pavement , he dare not for his lifo step onto tho roadbed, but stands stock ??till to bc jeered at by I ht* street boys. If he is on :i slop, he is afraid to move up or down for fear of being dashed to pieces in some imaginary abyss. All this ; time h?' keeps his wits or, at least, a great many ??f them -about him, and : is sensible of his absurd position. Some times he has enough sense to avoid pla- j ces where the attack has come on be? fore, or seems likely to ?lo so again. Another peculiarity is that im?st ??1 the sufferers belong t?> thc liberal profes? sions, and to thc higher ranks of socie? ty. By examination into a consider? able number of case? in thc hospitals, ; it was found that men more often suf? fer than women, in a proportion of : about four to one.-London Globe. WIT AND HUMOR. t - Our Charlie says thc difference bc* tween a hill and a" pill is, one is hard to get up and thc other is hard to get down.-Oil City Derrick. "Do you believe in fate. Bridget?" asked thc up-stairs girl of the cook. "Shure an1 ii' Oi didn't, d'yer s'pose Ord be after buyin' shoes?1'" A Western Congressman says: "Ev? ery man who comes to Congress has two ideas." But, after such exaggera? tion as this, nobody cares to know what this Western Congressman has ta say. It is very funny* but as a general rule thc waiter in a swell restaurant is about thc only person about the prem? ises who doesn't wait for anything. The man who orders thc chop doo most of the waiting. A New Yorker has incurred thc dis? pleasure of all thc undertakers in tnat city, and they talk of boycotting him. He has invented a little spring to at? tach to gas jets so that when the light is blown out the gas will bc turned off,' -Norristown Herald. Colonel George L. Perkins, nf Nor? wich, Conn., who is OG years old, said in a recent interview: "I have buried! six family physicians and still live" Thc Colonel could make a fortune by certifying to the particular brand ot patent medicine he used; A western zephyr carried a cow a quarter of a mile through the air, and set her down in a milkman's yard. He was so scared that he stopped grinding chalk, and ran four miles for a rifle to shoot tho curious looking creature with.-burlington Free Press. Don't slander your next-door neigh? bor. He may be in impoverished cir? cumstances, and have few if any friends. Don't speak ill of any man until you are positive as to the exact amount lie ean lift and thc nature of the person when aroused. "O no, you don't "laugh and grow' fat" That idea is air wrong. Tho sentence should be reversed. You grow fat and laugh. When you fat up you have something to laugh. And other geoplo have something to laugh nt specially when voa try to button y?ur shoes in a railway car. A New York man advertises "a safe, quick, and reliable cora remover, with? out the application of knife or caustics: no pain experienced. Price only fl. A young man who never walks out without wishing he could leave his feet at home forwarded $1, and two days afterward received by express a livd crow. Chicago has a Coaching Club. We" always thought the great need of Chi? cago was something of that kind. Wo don't know how contagious a Coaching Club is, but as it has taken Chicago six years to catch it from New York, St. Louis will probably break out with it about Ute time the Henncpin Ship Canal is completed. During thc sermon, one of the quar? tet fell asleep. *'No w's your chants," said the organist to the soprano. "Seo if you canticle thc tenor." "You wouldn't dare duet," said thc contral? to. "You'll wake hymn up," suggest? ed the bass. "1 could make a better pun than that, as sure as my name's Psalm," remarked thc boy that pumped the organ; but he said it soio that no one quartet Dumlcy was making an evening call, and the ?ice little boy of thc family had been allowed to remain up a little later than usual. "Ma," he said, during a lull iu thc conversation, "can whisky talk?" "Certainly not" ?aid ma; "what nut that absurd notion into your head?"* "Well," he replied, "I heard you say to pa that whisky was telling on Mr. Dumlcy, and I wanted to know what it said." Wc want Chinamen, but wc want them a long way off. Tho li?t has gone forth that no Celestial shall ever C*:ze on thc woody gulches of tho Cour d'Alene and live. If lie insists on coming, however, let him bring a roast pig, plenty of lire-crackers and colored paper, and all the essentials for a first-class Chinese funeral. Ho needn't bother about bringing thc corpse, though; it will bc in readiness -Cour d'Alene Nugget. Two dudes talk: "Aw*, Chclly, ? sec thcah is going to bc some change iii twousahs this sowing." "Some what, Gus?" "Some change, don't you know." "Naw, you don't say? Well, Fm dahn glad of it, fob b? Jaw ve, theah's been so little in mine foil thwec months, that weaily I wouldn't know a twadc dollah from a silvah in? dividual buttah plate, don't you know." The officer who opens thc court is called the "crier." On one occasion tho said officer had. lost his wife, who had led him an uncomfortable life, and he was, of course, absent from his post When the court came in thc judge, as usual, said: "Mr. Crier, open tho court" A young and facetious lawyer addressed the Court as follows: "May it please your Honor, Mr. B-can? not cry to-day; he has lost his wife." At a Boston seance a disconsolate widower succeeded in establishing communication with his wife, who had passed into the spirit land from the Hub, of whose aesthetic circles she had been a member. The man inquired if she was happy, and if she liked her new surroundings, to which sho re? plied: "Well, dear, it is very* charm? ing and lovely and all that but of course you know, dear, it isn't Boston." Mrs. B. was speaking of Mrs. J's. rainy-day attire as a combination "polonaise and waterproof cloak," when little Bijah wanted to know if her "apolonaris waterproof cloak was mado of glass?*' "Made of glass! "Why. what do you mean, child?" "Oh," replied B?jah, "you always speak of Mrs. J. as 'that meek little bottled up woman,' and 1 thought that -" His thoughts on the subject were diverted by a box on tho car. British Fertility. Thirty millions of people within the area of our larger States, and who shall say that high-water is vet reach? ed? Everything betokens a race still in its youth, still on thc road to empire. The fuK-bloodedncss, thc large feet and hands, thc prominent canine teeth, the stomachic and muscular robust? ness, the health of the women, thc sav? age jealousy of poi\soiud rights, thc swarms upon swarms of children and young people, the delight in the open air and in athletic sports, the love of danger ami adventure, a certain morn? ing frcshucss. and youth fill ness in their look, as if their food and sleep nour? ished them well, as well as a cer? tain animality and stupidity,-all in? dicate a people who have not yet slackened speed or taken in sail. Neither the land nov tho race shows any exhaustion. In both there U yet the freshness anil fruitfulness of a new country. You would think the people had just come into possession of a vir o-jn soil. There is a pioneer hardiness and fertility about them. Families in? crease as in our early frontier settle? ments. John Burroughs in thc Max Cent ur ii.