The watchman and southron. (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, April 08, 1884, Image 1
VAttngggR WATCHMAN, Established April, IS SO.
idated Aug. 2, 1881.1
"Be Just and Fear not-Let all the Ends thou Aims't at. be thy Country's thy God's, and Truth's.'
SUMTER, S. C., TUESDAY, APRIL 8,1884.
THE TRUE SO?THKON, Established Jnh?, 186?.
Sew Series-Vol. III. 3i<h 36.
|*?:**ttfcHafcod every Tu?3?ay5
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p*?-Q?ce;to N. G. OSTEEN,
-^3H4?? Rosiness Mapsger.
Absolutely Pure?
?&r* never varies. A martel, of
^?treopth and wholesomeness. More'
-?Convoikal tbnn the ordin?r j kinds, xnd can
net be sold in cc-mpetitiou with the multitude
si???bw tesi, short weigh t, alum or phospba te
[n?w&eu Sold ont* mains. ROYAL BAK
"$ERQO^ 106 WsJl-st., N. Y.
: . ' Send 25 centSTo THIS
' fi iil'lfcllP OFFICE for a copy of a.
' ^JtfVglf-^W* C new horte book which
??ojE treats of all diseases
-'- T* ^m*~^m* of the horse, and is
; " ^ .thoroughly illustra
?. ted??iti? $j Seo ffjprwrangs, showing the posi
aJsoned by sick horses better than can
^-;i%>'^ r be taught in any other
-i^ffiifli . number of valuable
^^^Slf'wH recipes, most of which
*^ were originated by
./.'".. the author, and never
before pot Jn print. It is pronounced, the best.
-v tWjjfcoTtt published for The price, and some
; ' _' ? prominent horsemen
-...Aff; / ?t' HCf hove said thev preferr
V i ?r red it to books which
cost $5 and $10.
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SUCCESSFUL REMEDY ever
disco veted as it is certain in its effects and
does m>t blister. Read Proof Below.
From Ou "Spiritof the Times," Dre. 22,^83.
ts Admitted there is a great ad vance in
- ?cienre wiih'm the past decade, yet
'sd?-cely believe that a spavin cure
is possible. Fortunate indeed, however, is it
for the poor horse suffering from lameness of
:t?ns kind rjjuit Kendall's Spavin Cure has
?"fcWjn' disc0 rtr*dy as it is certaiu ic its effects
. codi has worked wonders in thousands of such
caw.? Send for illustrated catalogue, giving
- positive proof, abo for sample copy of Ken
dalT* Treatise on the B?rse and his Diseases ;
Wtttfsee. Price of the Spavin Core, $1. Ad?
dress pr. B.-J. Kendall Co., Prop rie toi s,
Koosburgb Falls, Vt. ' *"* '
.Fr*m the "Spirit cf Ike -Times," Nov. 17,83.
The: snCcefcsful treatment of ringbones,
op&vias, and joint lameness bas not been
' prevalent in the veterinary profession, but
we find that Dr. Kendall bas discovered a
remedy for sncb troubles that is doing noble
workeverjwhere. This remedy is certain in
its effects, and does not blister, but it has a
magic*! effect in reducing the enlargement
and driring oat the lameness, as hundreds of
testimoni?is prove.. Price Si. For sale by
druggists every where, ?od br Dr. B. J. Ken?
dall Co., Eoosborgh Falls, Vt.
JCBTOALL'S SPAYIN CTJBS.
ON HUMAN FLESH.
NOKTKVILLK, DAKOTA, NOV. 20, 18S3.
Dr. B. J Kendall & Co., Dear Sirs :-En?
closed please fi nd 25 cts. for your book enti?
tled *A Treatise on the Horse and hi? Dis
es?es.' You maj look for more orders in
fefuire if it is as advertised. Your Spavin
Cnn works wonderful with rheumatism, re?
lief is immediate, sod its action permanent.
Beery person ought to have a bottle of it.
Have bad no occasion to use it on my horses
yet, bot too much can .not .'be said of its re
markable effects on naman fltsh ! used that
pot op for horses, and its effects were truly
remarkable. Please send the books as soon
os possible and oblige. Yours truly.
A E. BROWN.
Price $1 per bottle or 6 bottles for $5. All
druggists bare it or can get it for you, or
it will be seat to any address on receipt of j
-price by the proprietors, Dr. B. J. Kendall &
Co., Eeosbtrrgh Falls, Vt.
SOLP ST JLLL PSTOSISTS.
E. ?? KICKER & CO.,
. SUMTER, S. C.,
DEALERS IN
FOREIGN AND DOMESTIC
Liquors, Wines, Tobacco and
Cigars.
We have now the largest and best selected
stock of
ever offered in Sumter. Pure N. C.
?0RN WHISKEY and pure N. C.
APPLE BRANDY a speciality.
Try oor JOHN MCCULLOUGH CIGAR and
BLUE JEANS TOBACCO.
Parties io need of soy goods in our line
jj w31 sore money by giving ns a call.
REMEMBER THAT WE
UV ACANTEE SATISFACTION
os to quality ?nd price.
\ one door North
ifs of the Bed
_mu - ? ? i-i-i WT
"ONE YEAB ?G?7
What ?tars have faded from oor sky,
What hopes unfolded bnt to die?
What dream so fondly pondered o'er
Forever lost the hues they wore f
How like a death knell sad and slow,
Toils through the soul 'one year ago.'
Where is the face we loved to greet ;
The form that graced our fireside seat,
Th? geotle smile, the winning way,
That blessed our life path day by day ;
Where fled those accents, soft and low,
That thrilled our hearts 'one year ago.'
Ah ! vacant is the fireside chair,
The smile that woo, no longer there ;
From door and ball, from porch and hall
The echo of that voice is gone ;
And we who linger only know
How much we lost 'one year ago.'
Beside bis grave the marble white
Keeps silent guard by day and night,
Serene be sleeps, nor heeds the tread
Of footsteps o'er his lowly bed ;
His pulseless breast no more may know
The pangs of life 'one year ago.'
But woy repine? A few more years,
A few more broken sighs and tears,
' And we, enlisted with the dead,
Shall follow where his steps have led ;
To that far world rejoicing go
To which he passed 'one year ago.'
[ A11 a n ta Constitu don.]
Betsy Hamilton's Letter.
?-->?
. "IN TIME O* MEET/IN'."
DKAR COUSIN : The fourth Sunday is
Uncle Hagaas day-in-course at the
Cross Roads. Most ever'body wants to
go some*? on a Sunday, and a big
crowd ingtonerly getbers over thar to
meetin'. Some goes jist to have some
place to go-"hontio' np Sunday," as
Jake Loftis said to buddy when he met
him gwine to see Maliody Jane Trot?
man. He didn't want to tell no body
whar he was a gwine. Baddy ax?
ed bim, says he: 'Whar you bound
for Jakef ?Oh! I don't know. Tm
jist a brawn* around nuntin' op Sun?
day/says she. Some folks goes to m e e t i o '
to see and be seed, aud to whisper and
giggle, and some to go to sleep ; and
then agio thara others that goes for the
p'jore good Of - the preachin'. Old
G ran maw Gooden . bas got the right
name; to be shore she goes to sleep
some times in rueetin' but she hears
more of the sarmoot than half of 'em
that stays awake all the time. Old
man Madison allers goes oil to sleep
while they are singiu' the fast Lime,
and snores with his mooth wide open
the endarin' time of preachin*, and
never wakes ap tel they let in on the
doxology ; when be rubs bis eyes and
smacks his moth so load you can hear
him all over the house. But he allers
says: *Wal, wal, thafs about the best
sa noon t ever I listened at/ Old Miss
Pink ney nods too-they say its bekase
she eats so mach. Old ?rtninty Pon?
der grass is the great tenor singer, and
comes oat two words behind tothers on
ever* line, and bold ou tight to the last
word tel she looks all around to see if
ever'body sees ber. Old Miss Green
and old Miss Fresh ou rs dips snuff, and
whispers, and old Miss Simmons allers
manages to git close to 'ero, and puts
in a word once't and a while, sich as :
41.say it! You dou't sesso? I never
hearn tel o' the like ! Well, I wished I
may die!* etc., like it was all mon?
strous strange and bran new, when
mebbe its oothiu* more'u she's hearn all
ber life.
The little boys whisper and giggle,
and sometimes git to scuffiiu' over a
string or a taw marvel, or a hickery
whistle. The big boys scribbles in the
hime books, whittles on the benches,
and chaw tobacco add spit on the floor.
Old Brother Jeremiah Cole had been
axed to preach that day, bat Uncle
Hagan sung the fast song through by
bis self (he allers does,) then he lined
oat another for t'others to sing. Broth?
er Cole hadn't farly sot in good on his
sarmoot tel two dogs got to fightin'
over a chicken leg that one of 'em had
snatched oat'n little Gabe Thump's
son's band. Old man Simpson is pow?
erful long legged,-he riz his foot and
sot op a turible howl amongst 'em. He
kicks oat all the dogs ever Sunday,
and Gooden's dog has got so he yelps
and moves the minute he sees Old
Simpsou start, toward him. Old Broth?
er Cole * pea red to bc used to dogs, and
to babies yellin* too-be preaches right
on io spite of 'em, and old Sister Strong
she sot in to shoutin'-she aliers shouts
whether its time to shout or not, and
the loader she shouted that day, the
loader he preached. This is his
SA RMONT :
'My beloved bretheriug and sistering
I've como out'o the pulpit bekase I
don't mean to preach no reglar Burmont.
I don't aim to take no reglar text.
While yoa'ans was a singin* of that
song, these words come into my mind :
*Go to the ant thou sluggard.' Now
bretbering, I aint shore whether them
words is io the bible or no, bat I will
endeavor to tell you all I know about
the meanin* of 'em. First, bretberiog,
that part whar it says: 'Go to the ant.'
Now, brethefing, if some of you haint
got no aunt to go to, you needn't think
your ancle will do jest as well, fur he
won't, ar. If you're in trouble don't
go to no man to help you oat'n it ;
that's why it in pertickler says your aunt
bekase it means a woman, ar. Now, if
you baiot got uo aunt of your own to
go to, why you must go to some good
old 'oman you call aunt, and she ?ill
help you git out'n your trouble, ar.
Bretheriog, right thar, I'll relate a
little yarcantstance. When I was a
boy no big'rn that little boy over thar
in the cornder, why I was the outda
cionsest boy in the whole settlement,
for all you see. me a preacher now.
Why, I robbed all the bird's nests I
could lay bands on. I clam the highest
trees to git 'em ar, and I stole water
millions, and them I didn't steal I cut
open open in the patch ar, and left the
fence down bretbering, so the hogs
could git in and devastate ar. I cut my
mammy's warp thread ar, in her loom
ar; I hid her spectacles ar, and was the
occasion of ber a cussin' of me about it
ar, thar by causing a second person to
sin ar, which is wusser bretbering than
to a cast, myself ar. To this day,
brethering, it fetches the water to my
eyes to think about it ar, bat I tell you
bretberiog, in them days ar, she fotch
the water from my eyes ar ; bat breth?
ering and sistering too, it was not on
account of the cassin ar, bat from the
seasoned biokry that she kept for the
pnroose ar. Hit was ar, on a occasion
like this, bretbering when she had flog?
ged me tel I was mighty nigh out'n breath
ir, that these words come into my mind
I ar : Go to your aunt ar, so I run awa;
j brothering ar, and swam across th
! creek ar, to my aunt ar. I went a bel
lowing and a ervin' ar, and when I go
thar, my clothes was wet ar, and mud
dy with the creek water ar. I snubbei
and cried ar. and told her that I bat
been beat like like a dog ar, and breth
ering thats why I tell you to go to you
! aunt ar, bekase bretberiog she neve
uphelt me in none of roy devilment ar
although I was as wet as a dog ar, ant
had been beat wusser'n a bonne] doj
ar, she tuck me in her bouse ar ; I wa
a ervin' ar, and a hollerio' ar, and sin
stuck a ginger cake in my mouth ar
and lhat stopped the ervin' ar. Thei
she turned in, she did ar, and put ;
par of my uncle's pautloons on me ant
one of his coats ar Of course the]
was too big for roe ar, but they mad
roe look solemn like ar, and as I so
and hushed a ervin' ar, and eat the gin
ger cake ar, my beloved brether?og shi
sot'down she did and told me how to di
ar. my hearers she told me to preacl
ar, she tock a bolt of my baud and saic
how se ncc I was dressed up in then
clothes ar, I looked so much like tbi
old mao that used to preach for hei
some thirty years ago in old Georgy
that she knowed I could preach ar; si
I tuck her advice brothering, apd yoi
see if it hadn't a been for my aunt ]
i never would have been a discoursin* tc
you to-day ar. I know some of you'um
! ain't as high larnt as I am, and fur th*
j benefit of them which haint got the edi
! fication that I've been blessed with, Tl
splauify what that part of the tezl
means whar it says 'thou sluggard.
We will siparate the words, fust 'thou
my beloved hearers is a Greek work
and means 'you' ar, and 'sluggard/ i:
a Latin word.and means 'boy' ar, and
not only boy, but a bad boy ar. Il
means jest the kind of a boy I was in
them days ar, when I wasn't afeard ol
nothin' on the face of the livia'' yeth
ar. Maoy is the time brothering when
I've been at school ar, in the long sum?
mer days ar, when the teacher'd jerk
me up to whale me ar, for killing flies
ar, and cbawio' up piper in little
wads ar, and fiingin' of 'em agin the
wall ar-as I was a gwine on to say ar,
he'd jerk me up suddeot ar, and with
every lick he'd fetch ar, he'd call roe a
'sluggard* ar, and thats why my be?
loved brothering, I larnt so yearly in
life the roeanin' of the word ar. Now
my brothering and sistering I've tried
to tell you the trae meanin' of the text ;
I've tuck it up and showed it to you,
what each part meant ar ; so now
you understand what is meant by
'go to the ant' aud you also understand
what is meant by 'thoa sluggard.' Now
io conclusion my brothering you must
take it alltogether, and the advice of
the text, the whole text arr *Go to the
aunt thoa sluggard,' which means, go
to your aunt you hoy, or in other
words, you bad boy ar, and you must
not give up and git dowu-hearted when
you git iu trouble ar, for look at me ar.
I followed the words of the text ar, I
went to my aunt ar, and if it hadn't a
been for my aunt ar, I'd a never been
the preacher you see me to-day ar
Finally brothering and sistering,, all of
you that feels that you've been benefit?
ed by what you're "hearn to-day ar,
make it known by givin* me your right
hand ar, and, all them what's hardened
agin it I leave 'em to their own resec?
tions ar.
3|C s)? ?je ?j* 5jC - 3$C
Most ever'body went op and gin him
ther right hand, and some of 'em cried
tumble.
We'uns rid critter back thar that day
-me and Caledony and Malindy Jane ;
and we al] ketched a beau a piece gwine
back. I and Iky Roberson rid togeth?
er ; Cap Dewberry, he rid longer Cal?
edony, he axed me for my company but
Iky was ahead of bim, and Jake Lof ti s
he rid with Malindy Jane, and when
we got out in the big road, I and Iky
was behind totbers and Cap he hollered
back 'Less all race ; Iky he lowed,
'Waal,' and gin me the hint to let 'em
race if they was a mind to but we
wouldu't. We'uo8 taken our time and
rid slow ; Iky ailers wants plenty of
time when he is long'er me. No more
at the present, Yourn,
BETSY HAMILTON.
Topnoody.
Air. Topnoody sat at the supper ta?
ble Tuesday evening as his wife clear?
ed away the things, and after a mo?
ment's silence he remarked ;
"My dear, do you know what day
the day after to morrow will be ?"
"Of course I do ; it's Thursday."
"I don't mean that, my dear. Do
yon know what anniversary it will
be ?"
"I don't recall."
"Why, my dear, don't you know
that it is the anniversary of our mar?
riage ?" Ou that day, thirty-five
years ago, we were made man and
wife and-"
"And I've had a grudge against
that preacher ever since," interrupted
Mrs Topnoody.
"And," he continued, not noticing
it, "since that day, hand in hand, we
have gone along the pathway of life,
gathering its thorns and its floweis,
bearing one another's burdenf and
sharing one another's happiness.
Whatever of sorrow we may have
had, my dear, has been lightened by
dividing it between ns, and whatever
of joy has been doubled by a mutual
possession."
"That sounds like you had been
reading a novel, Topnoody."
"No dear, it is merely the out?
growth of a pleasant retrospection.
Do you know, my dear, it seems to
me but yesterday since I saw the
orange blossoms in your hair, and
heard the music of the mystic words
which joined two hearts and lives in
a unity blessed of Heaven. Has
time sped on winged feet for you, my
dear?"
"Not hardly, Topnoody."
"But dear, how long do the joyous
moments seem to you ?"
"Well, Topnoody, I haven't figur?
ed it out quite "as fine as hours and
moments, but taking it in a lump, I
should say it had seemed about four
thousand yeats. I might throw off
an hour or two on an exact calcula-1
tion, but no more than that, Top-1
noody."
Mr. Topnoody didn't ask for an ex- j
act calculation.-Merchant Traveller. ,
A Talk With El Mahdi.
[Condensed from the Kansas City Star.]
Dr. Irvin B. Tenny, a widely travel?
ed and highly cultured gentleman of
I Baltimore, Md., who has been visiting j
i for some weeks with friends here, is |
I perhaps the only American who ever j
saw El Mahdi. Said Dr. Tenny yes?
terday : *I saw him tn 1878, before be
was heard of outside his own province,
! and I shall never forget the profound
impression he made upon me. lt was j
oue evening, while I was near Seunaar, j
traveling with Rufob, my interpreter.
El Mahdi was then a mau of, I should j
judge, thirty-four, and although he j
stood some sis feet high he was so spare I
doubt if he would have weighed 130
pounds. His complexion was dark
olive, bis beard coal black and his eye
deep set and piercing. His bearing
was severe and there was .undeniably j
that intangible something called mag- .
j netism about the man. He was cloth- j
j cd in simply a white tunic that left the
arms partly exposed and fell from a belt j
at the waist straight to the feet, j
! Around his head was a many-folded- j
tunic.
'He gave a keen glance at my Eu- !
ropean.costume and then assumed his
apparently vacant gaze straight ahead.
'I had never seen a real prophet be?
fore and was rather embarrassed to
know what to say. Finally, in sheer
j desperation, I told Rufob to tell him !
that I came from across the sea where j
we have no prophets.
'I am not a prophet,* he replied j
I through the interpreter;. 'I ara the |
mouth of Allah/
j ?What is the faith you teach ?' I
asked of the mouthpiece of the Deity, j
'That Allah will give his people what j
! belongs to them.'
'The Prophet scrutinized me sharp- j
ly and surmising that he might take me j
for a spy sent there to pump on his '
political views I changed the channel j
of my inquiry. 4What is man's great?
est fault?' I asked.
'From the phrase that Rufoh used I
believe the Prophet understood me to j
ask what was man's greatest tendency j
or inclination, and answered:
'To gratify his vanity.'
'I put the question again and after j
pondering a moment he said :
'Selfishness.'
'These struck me as rather broad
views for a humbug Pagan seer to en- i
tertain and 1 asked him what he con?
sidered the future of his creed" and
country.
'There is one God, one Prophet and
one people,' he said ; we will cover thc j
face of thc earth.' j
'There are several million people in j
the world,' I suggested.
'There are millions of drops in the !
river, but they come at last to one sea.' j
'Where do you hold converse with j
the Diety ?' I ventured.
'The Prophet looked at me proudly j
and exclaimed in a loud tone defiantly '
for the benefit of the crowd :
.I am with Him always ! He is I,
and I am He !'
'At this the crowd of natives began !
uttering loud cries and a great many j
of them threw themselves upon the j
ground. We were silent for a moment, j
and he took up the strain of questions. ;
'.Where does my lord live Y \
.Across the waters. Two hundred
times as far as from here to Cario,' I
replied at a venture. j
'The Prophet pondered for some ?
time over this immensity of space and
then asked :
' What is this water like ?'
'This rather stumped me and finally
I pointed up to the sky and told him
that if it was reversed it would be
something like the ocean. A flash of
intelligence shone in his eyes and he I
nodded gravely.
'How many people are there in your
country ?' j '
.Millions and millions, rich and hap- ?
_ _ >
py
The prophet evidently regarded this j
as a deep-dyed falsehood and signified j
with a wave of his hand that the inter- !
view was at an end. Turning then to j
the natives, he addressed them iu a j
dull, one-keyed voice that grew loud- j
er and louder in pitch, with strauge I
and sudden breaks, when he stopped j
altogether, and closing his eyes, seem?
ed to be in a trance. While he wa? in I
the midst of this extraordinary pro- j
ceeding Rufoh all ouce clutched my !
sleeve and hurried me off '
Diamond Cut Diamond.
A rustic looking man sat in the
smoking car of the Omaha train last
Monday night, when another rural
looking person came in.
"Is this seat taken ?" asked the new :
comer.
"No. sir ; sit right down, sit right ?
down," said the other, making room \
next him.
Soon the two old farmers were in !
conversation.
"Where are you from ?"
"I live near Buda. Where do you !
hail from ?" j
"Fm a pretty near neighbor of j
yours ; live near Kewanee."
"Farming?" ?
"Yes. Are you ?"
"Yes ; fanning and stock."
"Been to town with 6toek ?"
'Yes ; brought up a hundred head of ;
steers.' -
"I brought hogs."
And so the conversation ran on un?
til just before the train reached Men- i
dota, and the two old fanners were ?
right well acquainted. Presently an- :
other man, who looked like a mer?
chant, came in and waa surprised to I
see one of the old farmers.
"Well, well, well," said the new |
man, "I'm glad to seo you ; maybe !
you can help me out of a little em bar- ?
rassing trouble. I want to pay a man j
a little bill on the train before I get j
off at Mendota and I haven't enough, j
If you'll let me have $100 on my;
check I'll be very much obliged."
"Certainly, I'm glad to do it," and !
out came the farmer's pocket-book, j
But, alas 1 he had only $40 in small j
bills and a beautiful crisp $500 bill, j
"You're perfectly welcome to the !
$40 if that'll help you out, or to the
$500 if you can get it broken." j
"Perhaps your friend can help us !
out ; the $40 will hardly answer," ?
said the merchant, and then apologized
for making so much troubl?.
"Well," said the farmer, who until
now, had been silently looking on,
"I can't change a $500 bill, but I can
give you another for it, and 1 think it
came out of the same batch and was
printed on the 6ame press."
And turning to the oilier old farm?
er, he added : "Ifyour partner hadn't
comeju8t as he did, mine would have
been here in a minute. I've been
getting ready to' work you on the
same game ever since we left Chica
go."
At Mendota four very much dis?
gusted confidence men stepped off
the train, and stood around in the
cold, waiting for a train returning to
Chicago.
- - - - -
A Pleasant Picture.
A Graphic Description of a Man's
Life Before and after Marriage.
You grow unusually amiable and
kind ; you are earnest in your search
of friends ; you shake hands with your
office boy as if he were your second
cousin. You joke cheerfully with the
stout washerwoman and give her a
shilling overchauge and insist upon her
keeping it, and grow quite merry at the
recollection of it. You tap your hack
man on the shoulder very familiarly
and tell him lie is a capital fellow, and
don't allow him to whip his horses, ex?
cept when driving to the postoffice ;
you ask after the health of his wife.
He says he has no wife-whereupon
you think him a very miserable man
and give him a dollar, by way of con?
solation.
You think all the editorials in the
morning papers are remarkably well
written, whether upon your side or upon
another. Ton think the stock mar- \
ket has a very cheerful look, with
Erie-of which you are a large holder
down ro seventy-five. You wonder
why you never admired Mrs. Ilemans
before, or Stoddart, or any of the
rest.
You give a pleasant twirl to your
fingers as you sauuter along the street,
and say not so loud as to bc overheard :
-"She is mine! she is mine!*
You wonder if Frank ever loved
Nelly one half as well as you love
Madge. You feel quite sure be never
did.' You can hardly conceive how it
is that Madge has not been seized be?
fore now by scores of enamored men
and borne off, like the Sabine women
in Roman history. You chuckle over
your future like a boy who has fcund a
guinea in groping for six-pences. You .
read over the marriage service, think?
ing of the time when you will take her
hand and slip the ring upon her finger
and repeat after the clergyman: 'For.
richer, for poorer, for better, for
worse !'-a great deal of 'worse' there
will be about it, you think !
Through all your heart cleaves to
that sweet imsgc of the beloved Madge
as light cleaves to-day. The weeks
leap with a bound and the months only
grow long when you approach that day
which is to make her yours. There
are no flowers rare enough to make
bouquets for her; diamonds are too dim
for her to wear ; pearls are tame.
-And after marriage-the weeks
are even shorter than before. You
wonder why on earth all the single men
in the world do not rush tumultuously
to the altar. You look upon them all
as a travelled man will look upon some
conceited Dutch boor who has never
been beyond the limits of his cabbage
garden. Married men, on the contra?
ry, you regard as fellow-voyagers, and
look upon their wives-ugly as they
may be-as better than none.
You blush a little at first, telling
your butcher what 'your wife' would
like ; you bargain with the grocer for
sugar and teas and wonder if he knows
you are a married man. ITou practice
your new way of talk upon your office-boy;
you tell him that 'your wife' expects
you home to dinner-and are astonish?
ed that he does not stare to hear you
say it.
You wonder if the people in the om?
nibus know that Madge and you are
just married/and if the driver knows
that the shilling you hand to him is for
'self and wife.' l\ou wonder if " any?
body was ever so happy before, or ever
will be so happy agaiu.
YTou enter your name upon the hotel
register as 'Clarence-and lady,'
aod come back to look at it, wondering
if anybody else has noticed it, and
thinking that it looks remarkably well.
You canuot help thinking that every
third man you meet in the hall wishes
he possessed your wife, nor do you
think it very sinful in him, to wish it.
You fear it is pacing temptation in the
way of covetous meu to put Madge's
little gaiters outside the chamber door
at night.
Your home, when it is entered, is
just what it should be-quiet, small,
with everything she wishes, and noth?
ing more than she wishes. The sun
strikes it in the happiest possible way ;
the piano is the sweetest toned in the
world ; thc library is stocked to a charm,
and Madge-that blessed wife-is there
adorning and giving life to it all. To
think, even of her possible death is a
suffering you class with tho infernal
tortures of the Inquisition. You grow
twain of heart and purpose. Smiles
seem made for marriage, and you won?
der how you ever wore them before.
-- mm ???????~mmm--..
Common Sense in the Post Office.
A letter was on the 13th inst., sent
from Norfolk to New York, being ad?
dressed to New York instead of Rich?
mond by mistake. On the 16th the
letter was received in this city by the
firm it fas intended for. On the en?
velope are stamped these words : 'De?
ficiency in direction supplied by New
York Post Office.' Now, why cannot
the same practical good sense bc shown
by the department as to all letters V
Why forward a letter to the Dead Let?
ter Office because it. is directed to
Kanawha Court House instead of
Charleston, when the postal officials
know that both names bolong to the
same place ?--Richmond Dispatch.
----~^mmm>- -mmm^~
'I pride myself on my descent,' said
a spinster of uncertain age, recently.
'One of my ancestors came over with
the Conqueror.' 'Which one was it,*
cried a oruel wit, 'your father or your
mother V
What Our Editors Say.
Greenville News.
Speaker Carlisle's address to th
Free Trade Club is so manly, clear and
strong that there can no longer be an
room for speculation as to his views.
There is no skillful evasion or equi
vocation about his remarks. He plain?
ly tells the country that the tariff must
be reformed and gradually reduced un?
til it is a 'Tariff for public purposes.'
Speaker Carlisle is not a violent reform?
er. He deprecates revolution, but
favors reformation. Let us hope that
the platform adopted by the national
convention will have as true a ring as
the address of the Speaker.
I State Conventions.
Aiken Journal and Review.
A number of our exchanges are ad?
vocating the wisdom of holding only
one State Convention for the comiog
campaign, instead of two ; that is one
in June for* nominating dele?
gates to the National Conven?
tion that meets in Chicago on the Sth
of July to nominate Presidential candi?
dates, the other to be held in August
for the nomination of State officers.
They argue that the June Convention
can both nominate candidates, for the
State officers and at same time the del?
egates to the Chicago convention, and
that by so doing it would be a saving of
expense to the delegates. Forourselves
we are heartily opposed to thc nomi?
nation of the State officers in June, it
would be the part of wisdom to wait un?
til the campaign ha? fairly opened be?
fore the State nominations are made ;
and, as to the expense, that is a small
matter, there are in every county plen?
ty of men capable, willing and ambi?
tious enough to pay their expenses as
delegates to both conventions, if select?
ed.
Hon. S. E. Randall,
Kershaw Gazelle.
.We have not been among those who
during his candidacy for the Speaker?
ship were disposed to throw mud
at this distinguished gentleman. But
we fear from repute he is placing him?
self ou the tariff issue in a very unevi
able light. If it be true that he con?
templates going with the Republicans
to defeat the Morrison Bill be should
bc dealt with: most summarily and
forced either to support that bill, which
is a party measure, or driven to seek
alliance with the Republican party.
We are loath to speak thus of a man
who has beeu the friend of tho South
when she needed friends, the foe of
corruption and the advocate on all
occasions of retrenchment and econo?
my. If, however, he prefers to jeopar?
dize ?he party which has honorod him
in the past and is willing and ready to
honor him in the future by turning his
back on the Tariff issue and diving aid
and comfort to the enemy, he must be
handled without gloves, for the unity
and success of the party are of too
much cons?quence to permit any man,
however pure his record or distinguish?
ed his services, to wreck its future.
As to how far too much agitation of the
tariff may be wise is another question.
This the party will decide, and if it will
not down at anybody's bidding, but is
thrusting itself iu a living momentous
issue ou the country, then all true
Democrats must accept the determina?
tion of the party and act in accordance
with it or leave its rauks. The time
has certainly come for a bold, decided
aud yet prudent course.
Egregious Nonsense.
Yorkville Enquirer.
The most absurd idea possessed by a
portion of the Democratic press, head?
ed by the Ishmael Dana, of the New
York Sun', which \< neither fish, flesh
nor fowl, aud whose utterances on so
vital a point as affecting Democratic
prospects iu the South, should be taken
with great allowance, is the effort to
get. up a boom for Tilden as the next
Democratic nominee for President.
Two propositions, if no others could be
adduced, render all the talk on the sub?
ject absurdly ridiculous. First his age
and bodily infirmity. If we mistake
not, he is near, if not quite, 70 years of
age, and all accounts agree iu repre?
senting him as bodily infirm almost to
helplessness. Secondly and more
potently, if interviewers are to be re?
lied upon, he has said, and reiterated
the statement, that he does not wish
the nomination and will not accept it if
tendered. This should close the ques?
tion aod remove all doubt in the premi?
ses. But it does not. The AtlaDta
Constitution of a late date contains what
purports to bc an interview between one
of the staff of that paper, and Mr. Til?
den, io which the latter is made to say
that he will not accept the nomination ;
aud yet the very same paper is labor?
ing industriously to manufacture a Til?
den sentiment in Georgia. With all
the needed physical qualifications for j
thc office-his mental abilities are not |
denied-we doubt if he would be ac
ceptablc to a majority ? !' the Democratic j ,
party, and when he says emphatically .
that he does not want the nomination,
we think that political sentimentality is
reduced to a fiue point by the persisten?
cy in which his name is urged on the ,
plea that it is due to him, he having !
been defrauded out of his election
eight years ago. We arc not pre- (
pared to say that he was not elected
then ; but with this much in his favor
to start with in the next Presidential
campaign, ho would not prove an avail?
able standard bearer. He did not en?
thuse the Democracy to any great ex?
tent eight years ago, and his nomina?
tion now would fall upon the party fiat
and ensure defeat, where, with a man
adapted to the times, victory is possi?
ble.
Tariff Reform.
Abbeville Jlress and Banner.
The newspapers and politicians of
Democratic persuasion are still talking
of the tariff. About one-half of them
seem to think the main thing is to play
hide and seek, with an eye single to
the office of President, while the other
half seem disposed to declare for a
principle and stick to it. We are in?
clined to thc opinion that our people
should be allowed to buy goods in the
markets of the world without let or
hindrance. We hope, then that the
Democratic party may declare for free
trade and bold fast to the faith, whether
we win or not in 1884. The free
trade doctrine is bound to win sooner
or later, and if it never doe? win, it
would be better to adopt a principle.
A Wicked City.
Mayor Rhett, of Columbia, has been |
re-uoniinated for the same position I
again. The preliminary canvass has ?
been somewhat exciting and in the i
course of the contest some very damag?
ing things have been brought out as to
the state of morality in Columbia. In
a communication published in the
Yeoman it appears that there are forty
eight bar-rooms in the city, licensed
and in full operation. The writer
says :
'It is said that there are now 48 bar?
rooms in full operation. What citizen
from abroad will invest in real estate,
aud bring their families here to enjoy
the advantages of our system of educa?
tion when he is informed that 48 bar?
rooms are licensed by the City Coun?
cil? The temptation of drink to young
men and temptation of gaming make it
more advantageous for parents to
educate their children in the country
where such pernicious habits will not
be acquired.'
But bar-rooms are not the only evi?
dence of the sad state of affairs in the city.
The young men are fast being debauch?
ed und ruined by gaming. Even one
gaming house, the writer says, *is a
hot bed of ruin and destruction to tbe
rising youth of the city.' A call is
made upon the good and moral meu of
the city to work against the continuance
of this state of iniquity.
Now if all the things are not exag?
gerated Columbia is a bad place for
young men. It is no suitable place for
a school or college. There must be
some truth in the allegations or the
Yeoman which a respectable journal
would not give them circulation. We
are not surprised for such things are
the natural outgrowth Of the bad exam?
ple set by the State when money is'
voted to keep up the State Fair where
horse-racing aud other inducements to
gamble are permitted dud encouraged.
-Abbeville Medium.
A New Year's Idyl.
The Wadesboro (N. C.) Intelligen?
cer says: A few miles from Chcraw
Major McNeill keeps a country store,
ind for some time he has had in his
smploy as clerk a very estimable young
mao of Chesterfield county. The young
man, however, was lacking in one vir
tue-courage. He was afraid of the
womel: folks, and though he had long
been enamored of a certain fair daugh?
ter of Chesterfield, still he procrasti?
nated. He called, and time and time
again he dallied, and though be
approached, yet he never touched the
ill-important subject. At last the poor
girl grew desperate. On the 24th ult.,
she got into her father's buggy and
drove direct to Major McNeill's store,
where she found her lover engaged in
manipulating a sack of flour. She took
bim apart from the crowd, and coming
direct to the point said : Thomas, if
you ever intend to marry me you must
do so now. It is this day or never.'
Thomas was more frightened than if he
had heard the rumbling of subterranean
thunder beneath his feet, but the sooth?
ing accents of his charmer restored him
and he stammered forth, 'Dunno, but I
reckon so.' He dismissed the crowd,
closed the store, scrambled into the
bug?v and tLe two drove to Cberaw
just in time to meet thc up train
They boarded the train and came to
Wadesboro, and in tbe Drake hotel at
the depot they were that night made
man and wife. lu the morning they
returned to Cheraw, and now Major
McNeil has two clerks instead of
Dee.
Trying his "New Gun.
Tom O'Neil, aged "eighteen years, of
I'oal Castle, a small mining patch
ibout eight miles from Pottsville, Penn.,
?lad a new fowling piece and took it
jut to try it. He met a party of
?maller boys returning from church at
Minnersville, who threw their hats in
tlie air for him to shoot at. He tried
;o hit them several times, but failed.
A.fter loading his piece again he shoul?
dered it and was walking away. The
boys laughed at him and offered them?
selves as targets. At length O'Neil to
scare them, he says, brought the piece
up to his shoulder and exclaimed, Til
shoot you.' Oue of the boys Patrick
Mc An ny, aged fourteen, replied,
'jSlaze away.' O'Neil says he thought
the gun was at half-cock and would not
50 off, but he pulled the trigger. The
full charge struck MeAnuy in the face,
md nearly tore halt' of his head off.
He dropped dead, and his terror-strick?
en companions were so frightened that
they fled from the scene O'Neil went
br a doctor, but medical aid was use?
less. A Coroner's inquest was held,
but the jury acquitted O'Neil of any
blame. Ile was arrested, however,
and after a hearing before a Justice
was brought to Pottsville aud lodged in
jail.
- - ? ? -
Old Spectacles.
Mr. Wesley Washington, of this
place, a day or two since, showed us a
pair of spectacles worn by bis grand?
mother. Mrs. Lean nah Nelson, of this'
County, during the Revolution, aud
are consequently more than a hundred
years old. The frame is made of steel,
and co?tai ns material enough to make
haifa dozen pair of the present size.
The eye-glasses are round and perfect?
ly souud, without flaw or crack, the j
glass being clear as crystal, and would
yet do many year's service if called into
use. - Lanrensville Herald.
- - nan - -^mmwm^
'Pap, how old was Adam when he
was born ?'
.Adam wasn't born. He was made
by the Good Man, and he was made a
young man."
.Well. I'll bc dog-goned if I wouldn't
like to know why the Good Mau didn't
keep on making' 'em young men when
they're horned, then a feller wouldn't
have to rock the baby every time he
wants to go out to play.'
- amm *m^> -
Two boys quarreling : 'My pa is a
preacher and will go to heaven.' 'Yes,
an* my pa is a doctpr an' cao kill your
ole pa.'-Arlcansaw Traveler.
News and Gossip.
Sam Randall and Abram Hewitt do
not speak to each other.
One-half the haman family die nader
seventeen years of age.
Mrs. Mary Brown, widow of John
Brown, of Harper's Ferry notoriety,
died in San Francisco recently.
There is an old-fashioned bar post in
Union County that was made by John
Savage, the man who fired the first gun
at the battle of the Cowpens.
A pair of knitted socks 2,000 years
old bas been discovered in an Egyp?
tian tomb. They are loosely knit of
fine sheep's wool, and the foot is finish?
ed in two parts to allow the sandal
strap to pass between them.
It takes more religion, cheek, bash?
fulness, brass, cuss-words, patience
and money to run a county newspaper
than it does to conduct a national elec?
tion.- Tattler.
People talk about the 'new moon*
when there isn't any new moon. Ia is
the same old moon with a tallow dip
nose, that has been circling around this
world for ages. ;
The Maying on of hands cure* is not
the failure some persons believe it to
be, many a wise and excellent mother
has used it with great success in the
treatment of a refractory offspring.
Parson Newman, in his last sermon,
called attention to the fact that the
American people spend $S<*?0,000.000
annually on rum and only .$12,000,000
iu the support of the clergy.
John O'Brien, the Republican ma
chiue leader of New York, is describ?
ed by one who chatted with him the
other day : O'Brien is a young man of
medium size, becoming a little stout,
with dark eyes, a mixture of modesty
and humor, his darkish hair now turn?
ing a little gray, like bis moustache and
he says they have grown gray in the
service of the Republican party, being
up all night to get votes and up nearly
all next day to get abused.'
Thu President has sent to the Senate
the nomination of Aaron A. Sargent,
now Minister to Berlin, to be Envoy
Extraordinary and Minister Plenipoten?
tiary to Russia, vice Wm. H. Hunt,
deceased. Also. Robt. T. Clayton, of
Georgia, to be United States Consul at
Para, Brazil, and John ?gan to be
postmaster at Pensacola, .Florida-. The
Renate confirmed the nomination of '
Mr. Sargent to be Minister to Russia
without referring it to any committee.
Mr. Robert Conrad of Chester Coun?
ty is farming in a way that would make
the country rich, if generally adopted.
He makes nearly everything he uses.
He makes his corn, flour and bacon j
also his own molasses, and some tc sell.
He raises plenty of rice to nse as &
daily article of food-not just a little to
"set down when somebody comes." He
gives employment to the busy bee and
has enough of honey to eat and sell.
He is also engaged in carp culture and
expects soon to furnish his tabl? wit?i
fresh fish.
Women as Oyster Shuck?flg.
The female shockers who pick ot?i
the larger part of oyster meat at the*
Fair Haven shops have bad plenty to
do the past season. There bas been a
good demand for stock, and in some of
the shops the people have worked over
time. The stock bas been in good or?
der, so that the shuckers have not bad
much trouble in their work. Shuckers*
make from six to thirteen dollars per
week. At the opening of the season,
some dealers paid three and one-half
cents per quart for opening, bot the
general rate at present is three cents;
same as last year. The ah acker* hqpif
work at 7 o'clock in the mornm^^and" -T
leave off at o ooo, excepting on Thurs?
day and Friday, when they work until
3 o'clock in the afternoon, the largest
shipments of the week being made on
those two days. The shuckers furnish*
knives, hammers, and cracking iron*.
Most of the women are married. aon?e
having worked twenty years for ote
finn. Some can shuck one hundred
quarts in ten hours. The shuckers
measure the meets by beer measure,
and dealers sell sro is by wine measure.
The Providence shuckers are all men.
Virginia plants and native stock open
much easier than Virginia oysters, the
latter having very thick shells, which
are hard to crack. Providence shock?
ers open by the stabbing process, driving
the knife between the shelis upon tho
?ide. Women are not strong enough to
shuck oysters in this manner. At Fair
Haven the thin end of the oyster it
placed on a cracking iron attached to ?
block of wood, and the little iron ham?
mer with two or three blows knocks off
the end of thc shell, so that the thick,
strong oyster knife is easily inserted
between the shells, and by a dexterous
twist the oyster is opened.-New ffavcr.
Palladium.
Crushed.
.How stupid I am/ said Birdie
McHennepin, languidly, executing at
the same time quite a respectable yawn
act.
?That's true,' remarked Gus Dc
Smith, rather impulsively.
.Sir!' exclaimed Birdie, 'you aro
impertinent. "
'But you yourself just now asserted
that you were stupid.'
*I only said so without thinking,'
said Birdie, petulantly.
.Yes, and up to the time yon spoke
I had only thought so without saving
it.'
Hang crape on the ?door of Mi?s
Birdie. Another lover scratched off
the list of one of the Austin belles.
Texas Siftings.
- mmm 11 -
It is one of the ks rdest things in the
world for a man who slips down 00 a
banana peeling and tries to burst nj: a,
whole section of the side-walk, to get
up saying the Sunday school catcoltism.
If you don't believe it try it and seo
how it is yourself.
In a recent ooo test between a man
and woman, the former to thread a
needle and the latter to sharpen a lead
pencil, the man won ; time, 14 minutes
and ll seconds. However it is fair to
state that she might have beaten bad
sh? not io the thirteen tb minute rsa out
of lead pencil.