The county record. [volume] (Kingstree, S.C.) 1885-1975, December 02, 1920, Image 11
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Sip gay old men
II(QAM J AG WAY was trying to be
O funny, this morning," related
Jie horse doctor. "He saw some boys
rarning handsprings, and undertook
50 show them how the trick used to be
done in the halcyon days, and the doc*0
r s a ys b e
HI. fflll than he was forty
N .. years ago," com?
V ^ men ted the village
8iWays being!
tempted to do some Idiotic thing, and i
J^fcbave to suppress such impulses with
mailed fist It's all the outcome of
^ranltv. A man hates to admit that
he's a back number. He wants to j
assure the plain people that, notwltb- ;
standing bis gray whiskers and string- |
I halted legs, he's a four-horse team
vrith a dog under the wagon, when
it comes to athletic skill.
was In the livery barn the other
evening, when young Fretslnger began
explaining that he had been taking
boxing lessons from one of the
old masters. He had learned all the
tricks of the game, and was just suf- ]
faring agonies because there was no- j
body pres?it who would stand up and j
exchange scientific swats with him.
"In my younger days, if I do say it j
myself, I was a star performer in j
the ordinary knook-down-and-drng-out j
form of combat, but I never was worth
shucks at boxing. Nobody knows that
better than I do. Why, then, did I
inform Pretsinger that I would be glad
to spar a few rounds with him? It
surely was vanity and nothing else.
T had an Idea that, wnue ne migni
4 have plenty of the fancy stuff on ,
hand. 1 might land one of my old-time
haymakers; in whioh case 1 felt sure
the town would soon ho ringing with j
the story of sd old man's prowess.
* "So I took off my long jimswlnger
coat, and my vest, and stood up for
battle. If anybody tells yon. my i
^ Mends, that Fretslnger doesn't know
wfeld his hands, you may re- i
|ng
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garn me story as a roorback. T never
saw fists so numerous as on that occasion.
I couldn't see anything else for
a while, and they landed on me in
many unexpected places, and I don't
remember a time when 1 was so embarrassed.
"Fretsinger explained afterward
that ho merely tapped me gently because
I was a vere rahle man. old
enough to be his grandfather. In that
case 1 never want to" become involved
in an argument with bun when he Is
in earnest. I had a black eye for a
week after this recital, and my nose
ha- never sa*' -fied me since. Fvcry
!'i e I came downtown. I had to < xplnin
to a thousand people that I blackened
rny eye while splitting kindling,
or that I dropped a sad-iron on It
There is nothing more humiliating
ban a hlnck eye. and T made up my
mint! that I'd try to realize my advanced
age thereafter, and behave my
:-;elf like a grave and reverend man.
"But no sooner hud my eye recovered
than I was in trouble again. I
saw some young men wrestling, and
paused to point out that they didn't
know the rudiments of the game. I
assured them that in my younger days
1 was a holv terror, and I didn't think
that my hand had lost its cunning.
It would afford me genuine happiness,
I said, to show them how wrestling
was done in the palmy days of Muldoon
and Whistler.
"So 1 removed my coat and vest and
went into executive session with a
husky yonng man who had no respect
for gray hairs. I am not sure about
what followed, but I think he must
have thrown me over his head. Anyhow.
I made a great dent in the earth
with my person, and 1 was so sore for
two weeks that I had to take myself
around in a wheelbarrow. Of course.
I am determined to make no more bad
breaks of the bind, bnt I haven't much
confidence in myself, and tomorrow
you may see me climbing a tree half
a mile high, tc show some boys how
to rob birds' nests."
Economy.
"Here is a fine tonic which will
quickly bring back your husband's ap
petite."
"Pear me, doctor. I've been getting
along so fine with my market money
since he lost his appetite."?Boston
Transcript.
The Compromise.
'iw?es your wife object to your
playing golf?"
"No. we've made a compromise."
"That so?"
"Yep. She's perfectly willing to have
me play the game, but she insists on
my not talking about it after I get
home."
o
Everything in Baggett's Store is
offered at reduced prices, preparatory
to movirlg January, 1st
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Twins Strangely Linked.
Albert Grierson and Walter Grierson,
St. Louis twins, were members
of tbe same company, and each wore
a small diamond ring ;in?l a watch and
chain In France. Albert l"<t the stone
of his rinp and a few days later Wal- i
ter lost the stone of his-. Then Albert i
lost his watch and chain and soon af- |
rerward Walter's disappeared. Then j
Albert was wounded and Walter fol- j
lowed suit. And now they Intend to i
marry 'win sisters. Geraldine and i
Blendine Smnlley of Sheldon, 111.?Indianapolls
News. j
?.
All Depends.
"Cnn TO, 1 onnnort mv dnxmhter In I
the style site's been accustomed to?"
asked the father of the young man j
who sought his daughter in marriage. ;
"Well." replied the young man 1
thoughtfully, "is she strong for a $500
baby grand piano or a $5 talking machine?"
A Good Wish.
Candidate?Election day is also my
birthday.
Friend?Good! I hope you will
have many happy returns.
o
WcH. It's a Fire Phrcs.'.
If lie v.ere aware ot the phrase the
pursuing motorcycle cop might inform
you some rime, as he drew alongside,
that the race is not always to tha
Fwlft.?Mohawk Messenger.
o
Feminine inconsistency
U by is it that the girl who wont
even lei a mart <it on the same sofa
with t r>r> win mm rum m-i a strangle
hold <itt her mi a danit* floor and
squtw/.i- Iht until you can't tell the corset
ribs from the other kind??Florida
Times-TTninn
Just received, a carload of Red Rust
Proof Seed Oats. Nesmith-Flowers
Co., Kingstree, S. C. 11 -4-tf.
Rub-My-Tism cures bruises, cuts,
bums, sores, etc.
Cora-Fed Hots Wanted.
I will pay highest market prices fov
corn-fed hogs. See me before selling.
H. A. Miller, Proprietor People's Market
9-23-tf.
666 breaks a cold quicker than any
remedy we know.
flASnT.T? aVSTTTFVTS
Oil Tanks and Pumps, Air Comput;
ing Scales, Floor Scales, Show Cases,
Account Registers, Rebuilt Cash Registers,
Safes, Store Fixtures. ' THE
HAMILTON SALES CO., Columbia,
S. C. 1-29-lf
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