The county record. [volume] (Kingstree, S.C.) 1885-1975, December 26, 1912, Page EIGHT, Image 8
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WHEN PA TOOK A CHANCE.
WE been a-livln' on the farm at gran'na's
house. I have to laugh
^ ^ Each time I think of pa an' how he
went to feed the Holstein calf.
Pa had on a white flannel coat an" what
he called his "ice cream pants."
That mornin'. too. he said he thought a
man was takin' quite a chance
To wear such things outside of town, an'
gran'pa said he thought so too.
Then gran'pa said: "Well. I can't stop
a-talkin' here. I've work to da"
Pa ast him. "Can't I help you none?" An'
gran'pa answered, with a laugh.
*T think I'll mix a mess of stuff an' let
you feed the Holsteln calf."
An' to be mixed a pail of milk an' bran
an' made it kind o' hot.
An' pa went trampln' off with it to take
It to the pasture lot
Where the calf's at An' gran'pa stood
an' watched him go, an' I went too
An' pa let down the middle bar an' took
the pail an' scrambled through.
An' here the calf came, tail straight out
an' quiverin' with its delight.
"* J ? ,u*'? *l"v- * fhn nail a
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bunt with all its might.
Well, pa's feet caught, an' he fell back
through that hole he left In the fence.
An' I Just laughed until I cried, as if 1
didn't have no sense!
Pa looked so funny! Milk an' bran vas
on his clothes an' in his eyes.
An' he just gasped an' sat there till he
had .got over his surprise.
An' then he looked around at me. an'
then he looked up at the calf.
An', say. you ought to have been there
just to hear my gran'fatner laugh!
At last pa grinned a little bit. an' then he
said: "That was some spill!
I'd make a fortune if I could do such an
act in vaudeville!"
An' now his "ice cream pants" is hung
out in tne shed behind the door.
They'll do for gran'pa's overalls, though
pa says they're no good no more.
Where He Quit.
"I came, sir. In answer to your advertisement
In last night's paper. You
said you win ted to employ a man who
was a total stranger to fear."
"Are you a brave uian?"
"I ain. sir. I have given proof of my
courage in many parts of the wor'.d."
"Yes?"
"I have faced bullets In Mexico and
acbetes In Cuba."
"Good!"
"I helped defend the missionaries
against the Boxers, and I was present
. at the siege of Port Arthur."
"Fine!"
"I have fought the Infuriated walrus
of Baffin bay and the maddened bull
elephant of central Africa, and I weut
through the Armenian massacre without
losing my nerve."
"You seem to be the man I w?nt.
Would you be willing to go out on a
field In front of 20,000 fair minded,
aport loving Americans and umpire
a baseball game honestly, deciding
against the home team when neeesaary?"
"So that's the Job. Is It?" replied the
man of courage as he broke into a cold
perspiration and a ran for the door
eunnitaneomly.?Newark Tinaec.
! Judgment. &
When a man asks for his wife's X
advice and then acts upon his
own Judgment let him see to it x
that his judgment is in accord- 4
ance with the advice be has re- ?
<-eivo?i Cincinnati Tribune.
LET US PRINT YOUR LE
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A HARD JOB.
Colorsd Man's Literary Efforts Brought j
on Exhaustion.
IN Atlanta they tell about an aged
negro who asked his "boes," Colonel
Yerger, to write l letter for
him to his sweetheart.
"All right. Sam; I'll do it* agreed the
colonel
"Has yer got de paper nnd de ink
and de pen ready, air?"
"Yes. Sam; go ahead."
"Write Thompson street. New York."
"All right"
"Has yer got hit right?"
"Yes."
"All of hitr
"Certainly."
"What has yer got wi-.t'r Read it to
me, boss."
"Thompson street New York."
"Daf s right. Now write May de four
teenf."
"Yea."
"Has yer got hit down. boss, already
r
"Yes."
"G'way. boss; yer jokia'! Read It
to me."
"May 14Ul"
"Mah goodness. yo' has got hit down
all right! Now. boss, read hit all over j
from de berry beglnnlnV
"Thompson street. New York. Ma.v
14th."
"Dat's right Whew! Say, boss, let's I
res' awhile; I's tired. My head acbe< |
like hit was gwlnter split"?Atlanta
Constitution.
Aa Mark Twain Introduced Himaelf.
"Ladles and Gentlemen?By the request
of the chairman of the commit- I
tee I beg leave to introduce to you the j
reader of the evening, a gentleman )
whose creat learning, whose historical i
accuracy, whose devotion to science i
and whose veneration for the truth
are only equaled by his high moral
character and his majestic presence.
I allude, in these vague and general
terms, to myself. 1 am a little opposed
to the custom of ceremoniously
Introducing a reader to the audience,
because It seems unnecessary where
the man has been properly advertised.
But, as It is the custom. 1 prefer to (
make it myself?In my own case?and
theu I can rely on getting; In all the
facts. 1 never bad but one Introduction
that seemed to me Just the thing,
and the gentleman was not acquainted
with me. and there was no nonsense.
He said: 'Ladies and Gentlemen?1
Kall irootfl nn Hmo In Ihla Intmdne
tlon. I know of only two facts about
this man: First, be never baa been In
state prison, and. second. I can't
Imagrine why!" " ? Kansas City Star
A Serpentina Wharf.
At Port l.os Angeles, Cal., there
extends into the Pacific for the distance
of almost a mile what is probably
the longest wharf in the world
and which, besides, presents a most
curious feature in that it takes the
form of a long serpentine curve.
The reason for this construction is
that it offers a better resistance to |
the strong currents and butfetings I
of the waves than if it were perfect- i
lv straight.?New York Press.
TTER OR NOTE HEADS. '
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BUTLER
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as Gift to the Al
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Happy an
a Portior
Goods I
W. C. HEMINGWAY, President
Bank of I
Capital
Flemings
Open an account wl
ranlHIv It (rrnu/c CflrPf
I UpiMI 7 ? VTT
of our customers.
Four per cent, interej
Department. We can 1
Let us write your exc
pOI?3B0
y WHY GO E
For your Furniti
buy so mucl
I W. N.
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Mattresses from
Ilron Beds from
TfrsAc* HAm
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D Rockers from
Best grade All Wool Blai
q Good grade Wool Blanke
Also fine line Art I
Agent for World Famoui
N. JACOBS,
Cash oi
i?m t W
CYPRESS SASH,
Largest manufacturing
Special sizes on short notic
A. H. FISC
CHARLES'
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tat Relative?1
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i of Your
J. A. DOYLE, Cashier
Hemingway
$ld,UUU
my, S. C.
ith us and watch how
ul attention given to all
;t paid in our Savings
handle any amount.
hanges.
oiai?aora
LSEWHERE 8
ire when you can
ti cheaper at
ICOBS?I
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?1.75 to $ 7.50 If
2.50 to 15.00 II
2.50 to 15.00 H
2.25 to 15.00 |J
1.50 to 10.00 H
a rn II
riKexs i|
ts 3.00 Q
Squsires, Rugs, etc.
i Singer Sewing Machine.
KINGSTREE, S. C.
r Credit f
oiar"-aocs
1
DOORS g BLINDS
stock house in the South,
e.
HER COrois,
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- KINGSTRE
01 101 I <
[I WAYS TO
U Begin right.
Know yourself.
Limit your expenses.
Q Watch the leaks,
i Stop the leaks.
Have a home bank.
Avoid gold-brick schei
Own a home.
Don't be a "good 1
, Be a man.
Take care of 3
W# roill tfmrf vmt rlcrht tl.flO w
U on which we will pay compound
The Bank of F
D. C. Scott, President. J. A
F. W. Fairey, Cashier. N. E
Wm. W. Barr, Jr.
fl
If you grow peas a Star Pea Huller
If you use fertilizer see our Force-Fe<
hopper holds 100 pounds. If you plow
beam dIow stock will not break or bend.
prices. Our offer to the readers of this
Star Pea Machine
I0-l7-i2t-eow Bennett*rifle, i
?
I FEATHERS, PLUM]
DO TOURS *
MCleaning ox
i $I We can clean and curl them beau
J jg us with sample of color desired a
;$f look like new. The cost? Only a
$ chasing new ones.
!l Try the Ideal Waj
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1 DYERS
| CHARLESTOI
1 Write for Free BooRlet
10-3-13t
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OMPANY.
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I one year fo
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m/^^B
C, S. C^rJ
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SAVE ' \ M
TICS.
Fellow." I
four health. 0 I
Hi open an account, up
led every three months. , fl
Cingstree J
. kelley.Vice Pres.
i. Lesesne, Asst. Cashier. BHj
, Teller. 5j
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S3ESSO jSp
will please and pay you. j
id Wizard Distributor, the / -cott
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Write us for circulars and
paper will interest you. /
i Company ' ||j9
K5??S5?5cw50w X
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feed S "
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tifully, or send them to 3
nd we will dye them to g |
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CLEANERS
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