The county record. [volume] (Kingstree, S.C.) 1885-1975, December 26, 1907, Image 2
i
The ?
Scrap Book
** * ? ? - a Aa.. Ait
Nil in xne ?rmjr niwr <-iiu
A Methodist negro exhorter shouted,
"Come up en jine de army ob de
Lobd!"
'Ts done jined," replied one of the
congregation.
"Whar'd yoh jine5" asked the extorter.
"In de Baptis' chu'ch."
"Why, chile, yoh ain't in the army:
Yoh's in de navy."
A BOY TO BE PITIED.
* God help the boy who never s?es
The butterflies, the birds, the bees.
Nor hears the music of the breeze
Whoa : cphyrs soft are blowing;
Who cannot in sweet comfort lie
"Where clover blooms are thick and
high
And hear the gentle murmur nigh
Of brooklets softly flowing!
God help the boy who does not know
Where all the woodland berries grow;
Who never sees the forests glow
When leaves are red and yellow;
Whose childish feet can never stray!
For such a hapless b n* I sayWhen
nature does her charms displayGod
help the little fellow!
Nixon Waterman.
The Sun a Foreigner.
"Sunset" f'ox's most successful sally
at his opponents In congress was his
resolutions against free sunshine, made
when there was a fight on against lowtring
the duty on coal:
"Resolved. That all windows, skylights,
Inside and outside shutters, curtains
and blinds shall be permanently
Closed, as also all openings, holes,
Chinks, clefts and fissures through
which the light and heat of the sun
have been allowed to enter bouses, to
the prejudice and Injury of meritorious
miners and dealers In gas coal, to protect
domestic Industry."
"For the sun is a foreigner," ex
plained Mr. Cox. "He comes from
broad, and we must shut out tbe light
of the sun in order to gratify these
Pennsylvania gentlemen who have a
monopoly of this article of coal."
His Secret.
"You ought not to work such long
hours. Surely your boss can get along
Without you part of tbe time."
"Sure he can, but I don't want him
to find it out."
r ..
Th# Pot and the Kettle.
? A portly Gerrnau of obvious Hebraic
nceetry boarded a Broadway car. He
handed the conductor a ruddy faced
Irishman a transfer not good on that
particular line. The inevitable wrangle
followed. In which much vehement lanfC&ge
found expression, colored with a
strong Hibernian flavor and an un
mlltakable Teutonic accent.
At length the fat German roee, bnt
before he left the car shook his fist In
the conductor's face and exclaimed,
with profound contempt: "You! You
Are no Amer-rican cltissen! You hare
not yet lost your broc-oue." Lippln"
cott's.
v
: 'Aire Pair In Love and War.
A- - |n
A soiaier oeionging 10 ? un^auc m
Command of a general who believed in
A celibate army asked permission to
marry, as he had two good conduct
badges and money in the savings bank.
"Weil, go away," said the general,
/ 'and if yon come back to me a year
from today in the same frame of mind
..yon shall marry. I'll keep the vacancy"
On the anniversary the soldier repeated
his request
But do yon really, after a year,
want to marry?" inquired the general
in a surprised tone.
% "Yes, sir; very much." c
"8ergeant major, take bis, name
down. Yes, you may marry. I never
believed there was so much constancy
In man or woman. Right face; quick
t mgrcb:" *+ .
' tlie man left the room, turning
bis' head, he said, "Thank you, sir; but
it isn't the same woman." i^aaies
Home Journal.^
^ -V.
What an "Amendment" May Do.
"Such an amendment," said Senator
Tillman during a debate, "would deitroy
the bill's meaning, as the meaning
of the epitaph on old John
Ekinn's tombstone was destroyed. The
amendment that was tacked to John's
epitaph consisted of one wordfriend.'
It was put on in the dead of
night The epitaph before that read:
'He did his best'"
No Need For Pensions.
A t.ovnlop In tho nrlont who W3S
A tia* vici uu iuv v>>vH?r ?? ?
picking up material for a book, asked a
ptsha: "Is the civil service like ours?
A*e there retiring allowances and pensions?"
.. V"My Illustrious friend," replied the
' pasha, "Allah is great, and the public
functionary who 6tands In need of a
retiring allowance when his term of
Office expires is a fool."
8om? Words With the Cook.
He was f jRd faced American tourist,
and as fieweate# himself in a London
restaurant he was Immediately attended
by an obsequious waiter.*
"I want two eggs," said the American,
"one fried on one side pnd one on
the o&er.w'
" 'Ow is that, sir?"
"Two eggs one fried on one side and
one on the other." < . ,
"Very well, sir."
The waiter was gone several mlnutee.
When-he returned, his face was
HMji "Would
you please repeat yotir border.
sir?'*"I
sa^very distinctly two e^gs, one
fried on one side and one on the other."
OppressJ^e silence and then a dased
"Very well, sir."
This time he was gone longer; and
when he returned he said anxiously,
t
I
| "Would It be awaking too much, air.
; to 'are you repeat your border, sir? I
cawn't think I 'ave it right, air, y'
know."
"Two eggs," said tbe American sadly
and patiently, "one fried on one
side and one on the other.
More oppressive silence and another
and fainter "Very well, sir."
This time he was gone still longer.
When he returned, his collar was unbuttoned.
his hair disheveled and his
^ ~ nr>A T n! n C
Mimiuuu uiiu ujcvuni0.
over the waiting patron, he whispered
[ beseechingly:
"Would you mind tyking boiled
' loggs. sir? I've had some words with
! the cook."
Ready For the Next Customer.
"My rubber," said Nat Goodwin, describing
a Turkish bath that he once
had in Mexico, "was a very strong
man. He laid me on a slab and kneaded
me and punched me and banged me
in a most emphatic way. When it was
over and I had got up. he came up
l>ehind me liefore my sheet was adjusted
and .gave me three resounding
slaps on ttie bare lwck with the palm
of his enormous hand.
" 'What in blazes are you doing?' I
gasped, staggering.
" 'No offense, sir,' said the man. 'It
was only to let the otlice know that I
was ready for the next bather. You
see. sir, the bell's out of order In this
room.' " Everybody's.
Why He Was Sad.
"Oh, my friends," exclaimed the orator.
"It makes me sad when I think of
the days that are gone, when I look
around and miss the old familiar faces
I used to shake hands with!"
Fox Hunting In a Greenhouse.
The only fox hunting I have ever
done was on board an Impetuous, tough
mouthed, fore and aft horse that had
emotional insanity. As I was away
from home and could not reach my
own horse I was obliged to mount a
spirited steed with high, intellectual
hips, one white eye and a big red nostril
that you could set a Shanghai hen
in. This horse, as soon as the pack
broke Into a full cry, climbed over a
fence that had wrought iron briers on
It, lit in a cornfield, stabbed his hind
leg through a sere and yellow pumpkin,
which he wore the rest of the day.
with seven yards of pumpkin viae
streaming out behind, and away we
dashed cross country.
I remained mounted because I hated
to get off In pieces.
We did not see the fox, bat we saw
almost everything else. I remember
riding through a hothouse, and how I
enjoyed It! A morning scamper through
a conservatory when the syrlngas and
jonquils and jack roses lie cuddled up
together In their little beds Is a thing
to remember and look back to and pay
for. To stand knee deep In glass and
gladioli, to smell the mashed and
mussed up mignonette and the last
fragrant sigh of the scrunched hellotrope
beneath the hoof of your horse,
while far away the deep mouthed baying
of the hoarse hounds, hotly hogging
the reeking trail of the aniseed
bag, calling on the gorgeously caparisoned
hills to give back their merry
music, is joy to the huntsman's heart
-Bill Nye. I
One on the President.
When President Roosevelt alighted
I at Red Hill, Va., to see his wife's new
cottage be noticed that an elderly woman
was about to board the train and
rushed forward to assist her. That
done, be grasped her hand and gave It
nn "executive shake."
The woman, snatching her hand
away, exclaimed, "Young man, I don't
know who you are, and I don't care a
cent, but I must say yoi\ are the freshest
somebody I've ever seen in these
parts."
Isaac ar.d the Angel.
Old Isaac was a devout Christian. It
was his custom when his work was
done to retire to his cabin and devote
himself to worship until bedtime. His
earnest and frequent announcements
{hat he was^always ready to meet his
"Lawd" hacT^eeiTso often heard that
some boys decided to test Isaac's faith.
One night, while he was und_er full
headway: "O Lawd. we know dy long
sufriu' fur dis beni'ted sinner, but we
feel, O Lawd, dat In dy love we will be
spahed dy vangins and raf. We are always
reddy, Lawd, at dy biddin' to
cum and meet dy angel Gabr'e!. Send
him, O Lawd, wid his shinin* trnmpit,
his robes ob glory and his crown ob
life, and take dy poh sahvant into dy
vineyard"
"Isaac! Isaac!" came in deep sepulchral
tones down the chlmmy.
"Amen!" softly said Isaac, closing
his prayer abruptly and rising, with
fear and trembling.
"Isaac! Isaac!" came the still dreadful
tones.
"Who-bo-ho's dat?" stammered the
awe stricken negro.
"The angel of the Lord has come for
Isaac!"
Isaac hesitated, and then, with a
onnrnro it en me *
K>UU V* Ul CUIV4V.VU VVlWM^vt -%
"De Lawd bless you. dat old uigger
hain't been here for a week!"
Why Corn Popt.
When the grains of roaixe or Indian
corn are gently roasted they
burst with a pop and turn inside
out. I^iey are then known as popcorn.
This popping is due to the
evaporation of the oil oontained in
the kernel. Ordinary wheat does
not pop so readily because the outer
portion of the kernel is more porous
and thus permits the escape of the
oil as it evaporates. In the caae of
popcorn a great pressure is developed
in the kernel by the confined
oil, which is present in greater quantity,
so that the kernel is suddenly
exploded and reversed.
\
DeWitt's Carbolized Witch Hazel!
Salve don't forget the name, and
accept no substitute. Get De Witt's.
It's good for piles. Sold by W L
Wallace, M D. .
Box Stationery, from 5c. to $5;
Xuias cards 5c to 25c People's
Mercantile < o.
Fruit for the Christmas cake, all
kinds at People's Mercantile Go's, j
Toys and Fireworks of all kinds j
I : . ., Ml.,,,., I
I JUSl WIUIl, JUII nam x<./i muuo, i
j the kind that please the children, are
to be found at People's Mercantile
Go's.
Nice lot all wool blankets at cost,
$3.00 and up at People's Mercantile
Co's.
A tickling cough, from any cause
is quickly stopped by Dr Shoop's
Cough Cure. And it is so thoroughly
haimless and safe, that Dr Shoop
tells mothers everywhere to give if
without hesitation, even to very
young babes. The wholesome green
leaves and tender stems of a lunghealing
mountainous >h*ub, furnish
the curative properties to l)r Shoop's
Cough Cure. It calms the cough, |
ana Heals tne sore ana sensitive
bronchial membranes/ No opium,
no chloroform, nothing harsh used j
to injure or surpress.Simply a res- [
inous plant extract, that > helps to
heal aching lungs. The Spaniards :
call this shrub which the i)r uses, !
The Sacred Herb." Alwavs de- j
maud Dr Shoop's Cough Cure. D C ,
Scott. j
_ | i
Parties desiring to purchase !
either town or country real es- i
tate, improved, call on or write
B Wallace Jones A Sons, Lake
City, S C. 1212 3t.
Whenever you feel that your
stomach has gonea little wrong, or
when you feel that it is not in good ;
* J i i i
oraer as is eviuenceu oy umtu ucauaches,
nervousness, bad breath, belcnmg,
take something at time*, and
especially after yonr meal# tintil le* <
lief is afforded. There is nothing |
better offered the public today for
stomach troubles, dispepsia, indigestion,
etc., than Kodol. This is a .
scientific preparation of nataral digestants
combined with vegetable 1
acids and it contains the same juices
found in any healthy stomach. I
Kodol is guaranteed to give relief.
It is pleasant to take; it will make
you feel fine by digesting what you
eat Sold by W L "Wallace, M D. <
- - . i
New Train Schedule.
The following- schedule of the
new train from Lane to Florence, <
which went into effect Monday,
December 17, has been furnished
us by Mr J P Taylor, the '
courteous and efficient agent of
the Atlantic Coast Line railroad :
atKingstree: " ?
North Bound Arrives
No. 80 7:41 A. Al,
No. 46 11:42 A.M.
No. 50 (5:36 P. M.
South Bound Arrives
No. 89. 9:l7P. M.
- 4~ r . ?> T-> ?r
""..MO. *{ u;*u ir. iu. g ^
No. 51 10:52 A.M.
# Daidy Except Sunday..
When the stomach, heart, or kidney
nerves get weak, then these or
gans always fail. Don't drug the *
stomach, nor stimulate the heart or
kidneys. That is 6imply a make- i
shift. Get a prescription known to
druggists everywhere as DrShoop's '
Restorative. The Restorative expressly
for these weak inside nerves. (
Strengthen these nerves, build them
up With Dr Shoop's Restorative
tablets or liquid and see how
quickly help will come. Free earn- '
njf o?.rvf rennoaf hv Dr Shoon.
pic icoi; otww vu ivvjuv.. J fi
Racine, Wis. Your health is surely
worth this sample test. D C Scott
l
A MAGAZINE I
fI READERS |~|
SUNSET MAGAZINE
beautifully illustrated, good done* Q_ _
and article* about California and * 'J
all the Far Wed. 7m
CAMERA CRAFT
devoted each month to the at.
tube reproduction of the beat $2.00
work of amateur and professional
photographer*.
ROAD OF A THOUSAND WONDERS
' a book of 75 pages, containing
120 colored photograph* of trf
picturesque spot* it California
and Oregon.
Toul . . I3.3S ,
All for So*- $1.50
SOTTSET HAGAZIKE
J Flood Building San Francisco
t
I
A Narrow Escape.
First Traveler So you have returned
from Africa ? Second Traveler Yes.
First T. Any narrow
escapes, eh ? Second T. Only one
a regular prize winner, I should
think. First T. Let me hear it.
Second T. Well, I was chased by
a big lion, and, having no aartridges
left, I threw away my rifle and
fiiccd the brute, but as he sprang
at rac 1 caught him by the lower
jaw with one hand and by the nose
with the other, and there I stood
and held his mouth wide open until
he starved tc death. A narrow escape,
eh ?
Art Exploded Theory.
"r\Tv dear,'' remarked Mr. Grouch
when the argument threatened to
reach a climax, "it has occurred to
me that a sitf^le man is a wise man.
A woman to gain knowledge must
be married."
"I eoeld readily support your
theory," replied Mrs. Grouch, "but
unfortrr1 that Solo
mon, the wi-est mail, had 700 wives.
And yev p\ deer. you might also
have m * :: r "f the fact that
Minerva, tlv of wisdom,
never mTri ?!.'*- Brooklyn Life.
Cough Caution
Never, positively never poiaoa roar longs. It yoa
cough even from a simple cold only you should
si ways heal soothe, and ease the Irritated broiw
ehtal tubes. Don't blindly supprea it with a
ituDefying poison. It's strange how some things
Anally come about. For twenty years Dr. 8hoop
has constantly warned people not to take cough
mixtures or prescriptions coot&lnlnf Opium,
Chloroform, or similar poisons. And now?a little
late though?Congress says "Put it on the label.
If poisons are In your Cough Mixture." Good!
Very rood! 1 Hereafter for this very reason mothen,
and others, should insist on harlnr Dr. Shoop's
Cough Cure. No poison marks on Dr. Shoop's
labels?and none In the medicine, else it must by
taw be on the label. And It's not only safe, but It
Is said to be by tboee that know ft beet, a truly remarkable
cough remedy. Take no chance then,
particularly with your children. Insist on having
Dr. Shoop's Cough Cure. Compare carefully the
Dr. Shoop package with others and note the
Inference. No poison marks there! You can
always be on the safe side by demanding
Dr. Shoop's
Cough Cure
o. c. scon.
The Largest aud Most C ^mplete
Establishment South.
SEO. S. HACKER I SON.
2 tgm ?
-MANUFACTUH :R8 OFSash,
Doors, Blinds
Moulding and Building Material,
Sash Weights and Cords'
CHARLESTON, S. C.
hi 35
W. L. Bass A. C. Hinds
BASS & HINDS,
Attorneys-at-law
KNGSTREE, S. C.
)-20-tf.
i ins niu. s
Lake City, S. C.
*rown and Bridge Work a Specialty.
ALL WORK
Guaranteed as^Represented.
W. L. BASS
Attorney at Law
LAKE CITY, a C.'
i
Dr R J McCabe
Dentist. ;
KTMRRT1FIK - S. ' C.
j: D. MOUZON'S BARBER
SHOP
in the . * ; ,
Van Keuren Hotel ' .
is equipped with up-to-date appliances.
rolite Service. Competent
Workmen.
5 8-08. > .
Laurence H. McCullough,
SURVEYOR.
Benson, ;c:
11-28 07.
ACough
Medicine
Ayer's Cherry Pectoral Is a
regular cough medicine, a
strong medicine, a doctor's
medicine. Good for easy
coughs, hard coughs, desper
?- - If ...
ate cougns. n yuui uuwwi
i endorses it for your case, take
it. If not, don't take it. Never ;
| go contrary to his advice. \
We publish our fornulu J
/W Wo bonish oleohol
/ .B J from our medicine*
/ 110 PC Wo nrgo you to
a JLifCIo wsoaf
The dose of Ayer's Pills is small, only
one at bedtime. As a rule, laxative dose*
are better than cathartic doses. For constipation,
biliousness, dyspepsia, sickheadaches,
they cannot be excelled.
Ask your doctor about this.
-?JUde by the J. C. Ayor Co., Lowell, Mu*.?
I OYSTERS A]
I SANDWICHES HOT
COFFEE
CHOCOLATE
ALL KINDS OF v
BOUILLON 1
1 ClWil'l In
nHHunHnBBi
"A dollar
' ?{.$'*
is a doll*
There is no better way t<
dealing with ' J.
L Stuckey, the olc
man.
I have a splendid line of
Bits, Wit
that in view of the hard times
above cost.
A nice bunch of HORSES
at prices to suit.
J. L Stuc
(9000000000000
QllnAiiffiio 11
8 BlWdliaai
X MICE BRIVEHS Ml
o Buggies, Surreys
0 Quality G
Q twocZ:
X Webu and Russell
O Harness, Rob*
X Come and gel
0 Yours tc
? THE MM
ft KiDgstree, So
JOOOOOOOOOOOOO
1 BANKOFJ
Kingstree. 5>oi
' CAPITAIi, $ StMHXT
DIREC
Jas F Cooper
D C Scott
i 5 l
Collections made promptly
LOANS, large or small, ma
'r \
* il
f >
STEVENS
IJUJH YOU LOOK FOR TROUBLE
If jmMaFlnmi#fdorttThe
experienced Hunter'e sk j
i**5*""'1 'deal
*re!iabl,> 0MrHn< 8TEVEN8
FIND OUT WHY
|T J V by shooting oar popular
M7! RIFLES-SHOTGUNS
M A PISTOLS
V (ll Ask your local Hardware
T- IfH or Sporting Good* Mer%?
JUSt chant for the STEVENS.
'/jpUtwSn It you cannot ol?tnlnt we
MFgjrWM *'liP direct, ?-t ress proP:'id.
upon receipt of CataSend
4 cents in stamps for 140 Page
Illustrated Catalog, including circulars
of latest additions to our line.
Contains points on shooting, ammunition,
the proper care of a firearm,
etc., etc. Our attractive Ten Color
Lithographed Hanger mailed anywhere
for six cents in stamps.
J. STEVENS ASMS A TOOL CO.
P^D. Bog 4097 %
Chicopee falls, Mass., U. 8. A.
' " """
BBKSflflBEHHSBHBSHBORBMHHIflHBVi
NY STYLE.
i i
CIGARS
FRUITS
CONFECTIONS
AND FINE
vCANDIES
fflif \3B6 i
saved I
ir made"
* - " ^.\9\ > > 14-" wOtm
3 save your dollars than' by
r 5 t
1 reliable live-stock
s al Ins, i
am offering at 10 per centB
and MULES always on handfl
^ J Lake City^S.
sles.1
D GOOD WOKMEHS. X
i and Carriages, o
uaranteed. g
ES LOADS 0
Wagons, just arrived, X J
1 i\rn ' _ . A i
is and wnips v
t your Choice. X
) please, o
IG LIVESTOCK {(L |
uth Uaioliuju
INGSTREE J|
ith Carolina,. '?
"SURPLUS, j 7.800 II
RS ===== II
RHKellahan II
J A Kelley 11
8
ide on approved security. I
MdK&Wtl A