The county record. [volume] (Kingstree, S.C.) 1885-1975, October 24, 1907, Image 3
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Scrap Book i
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A Phenomenon.
K& ^ negro p'#icher chanced to make |
HL> ose in the course of his sermon of the !
a? word "phenomenon." At the close of j
R the meeting one of bis congregation |
H? ' asked the meaning of the word. The J <
pi preacher put him off until the follow- ,
ing Sunday, when be thus explained: '1
"If/you see a cow, that'a not a 'phe- j
nomenon.' If you see a thistle, that's
not a 'phenomenon.' And if you see a
v!?* that olnoxa that'a nnt a 'nhenoui- i
wuu - ? t
enoo' either. But If you see a cow
Bitting on a thistle and singing like a
1 bird, then thafs a phenomenon.' "
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TO TOUNO MEN.
">^Qi inT One constant element in luck
genuine, solid, old Teutonic pluck.
^^^B^Sbe yon tall shaft It felt the earth'
quake's thrill.
Clung to its base and greets the sunrise
still.
Stick to your aim. The mongrel's hold
will slip.
But only crowbars loose the bulldog's
grip.
Small as he looks, the jaw that never
yields
Drags down the bellowing monarch of
the fields.
Tet In opinions look not always back.
The wake is nothing-mind the coming
track.
? Leave what you've done for what you
have to do.
Don't be "consistent." but be simply true.
?Oliver Wendell Holmes.
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An Easy Ons.
A teacher was giving a lesson on the
elivnliiHon of th* blcwl. Tr* inc to
make tbe matter dearer, be sal.1. "Now.
bora, if I stood on my bead tbe blood
as you know, would rnn Into It. and I
should turn red lu the fnee."
j "Yes, sir." said the boys.
/"Then why is it that while ! am
fdlng upright in tho o-dlaary poelthe
blood doesn't run into my
r
little fellow shouted. "'Cau.e ye.ain't
empty."
It's All In the Seasoning.
Orvllle and Wilbur Wright, Inventors
of the flying machine, live In Dayton,
O., where they conduct a bicycle factory.
An aged Irishman, a faithful
-employee of theirs for a number of
jeers, was absent on account of Illness.
Orvllle Wright a basket on his
arm, visited the sick man and left
with him some dainties, Including beef
tea.
In a week or two the Irishman was
hack at work. Seeing him at his post
Mr. Wright asked him how he liked his
beef tea.
C * "Shore, not a bit" said the old man
Pif -bluntly.
"Why, beef tea la delicious If yon
'tm "beat it and add a little salt and pepper.
"Well, aor, it may be good tbot way,"
. aid John, "but I put milk and sugar
toll"
Plenty of Spoeimons.
"And what did my little darling do
In school today?" asked mother.
"We had nature study, and it was
my turn to bring a specimen," said the
boy.
"That wo nice. What did you do?"
"1 brought a cockroach4 In a bottle,
?nd I told teacher we had lots more,
And If she wanted I would bring one
-every day."?Ladles' Home JournaL
i
f ntrafie*d.
Soon after his first baby was born
Ills wife went upstairs one evening and
found him standing by the side of the
?crib and gazing earnestly at the child.
She was touched by the sight, and
tears filled her eyea. Her arms stole
aoftly around* his neck as she rubbed
ber cheek caressingly against his
shoulder. He started slightly at the
touch.
"Darling," he murmured dreamily,
'It Is Incomprehensible to me how they
-can get up such a crib as that for 99
cents."
Known by Nis Frisndr
forlorn looking man was brought
before a magistrate for drunkenness
and disorderly conduct When asked
what he bad to say for himself be
gazed pensively at the Judg^ smoothed
down a remnant of gray hair and said:
"Your honor, 'Han's inhumanity to
man makes countless thousands mourn.'
I'm not as debased as Swift as profligate
as Byron, as dissipated as Poe or
as debauched as"?
'That will do. Thirty days. And,
-officer, take a list of those names and
run 'em In. They're as bad a lot as he
Is."?Llppincott's.
How to Do It
"In a family there are five children,
and mother has only four potatoes.
8he wants to give every child an equal
share. What is she going to do?" asked
/ the teacher.
Silence reigned. Finally a little boy
v exclaimed:
"Mash the potatoes, sir!"
The Noble Two.
In a Scotch regiment the colonel in
charge had the option of changing the
time honored kilt and rugged bare
knees for trousers and up to date uniform.
This order was to go by a majority
vote of the m^u themselves, and
th^sergeant was sent on a friendly
canvas*
On hit return with the list the colonel
Inquired:
"Well, sergeant, how many men have
yon found so false to the traditions of
their race that they are willing to wear
the hated trousers of the Saxon?"
"All except two, sir," '
"Cowardly sons of Bonnie Scotland!"
exclaimed the Irate colonel. "And noble
?noble two! Noble two! True to the
costume of their proud ancestors! Give <
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' v .... r. '.- v v > ' '
me the names of tbfcse Scotchmen that
they may be handed down to generations
yet to be as examples to them
that come after them as patriots, every
Inch of them;"
The sergeant, looking at his list, said
proudly:
"Michael Doolan and Patrick Murphy,
sir!"
He Knew Only One.
A teacher had been telling her class
of boys that worms had become so
numerous that they destroyed the
crops and It was necessary to import
the English sparrow to exterminate
them. The sparrows multiplied very
fast and were driving away our native
birds.
Johnny was apparently inattentive,
and the teacher, thinking to catch him
napping, said:
"Johnny, which Is worse, to have
worms or sparrows?"
"Please. 1 never had the sparrows."
?Indies' Home Journal.
Thay Were Agreed.
"Lack of education Is a greot drawback.
Farmer Jones." said. tbe-MNomer
boarder.
"Ain't It?" replied ttbe former.
"Why. there's men coatee o*it here
who are fifty year* oi.1 and never saw
corn plauted."
Should Leave U to the Lvi
A gentleman wddlug to a smal^
town recently lost hfc* wife and. In
deference to the last wishes of the
deceased, the remains, were cremated.
Bridget Flnsntgan. a former servant
in the family, heard of her old master's
trouble and called to console him.
"Oh. wtrra. wirra!" she cried, rocking
herself to and fro. "An* yer poor
lady is dead: Sure an' It's miserable
we all are, tor a more blissed scwl
nlver lived."
Too are very kind to say so, Bridget"
"An* ye had 'em burn her apT
"Yes; she was cremated."
"Och. the saints presarve us! Why
didn't ye let the Lord tend to that?"?
Lippincott's.
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The Middle Agw.
Ella?I have been reading an article
on the chivalry of the middle ages.
Stella?i think there la something in
the Idea. I have always found that the
middle aged men were more apt to
offer me a seat In a street car than
the young fellows were.
Had
ths Real Thing at Horn*.
Simeon Ford, the New Tort humorist^
tells of a little girl who constantly
carried with her a big wax doll he
bad given her. Recently there arrived
In the household to which the little
girl belongs another youngster. During
the afternoon following this Interesting
event Mr. Ford chanced to
encounter his little friend on the street
"Why, Marie." said be. "where's your
alee doll 7" Whereupon the little one
ele^fed her noee to an unwonted angle'Tu?d
said: '1 don't have any use for
wax dolls now. We've got a real meat
baby at our house, and that takes up
all my time."
Parkin Warbeok's Parents.
King Edward asked Prince Edward
of Wales what he was studying, and
the little prince said. "All about Pertlc
War beck." Asked who Warbeck was,
he replied: "He pretended he was ths
son of a king, but he wasn't He was
the eon of resDectable parents."
Hi* Fighting List.
Kike sat busily engaged In copying
the namee of the male population of
the Immediate vicinity. His good wife,
noting the apparent Industry of her
lord, asked what he was doing.
"Begorra, an' Ifs wroltln' the names
o' the mln phwat 01 kin lick, so 01
am!" he exclaimed.
A few minutes later the woman pat
on her shawl and went to Pat CLeary's
humble home, where she Informed
Pat that she saw his name was on
the list
Without waiting to don his coat
O'Leary sallied forth In search of Mike,
who was found still engaged at the
list
"Moike," said Pat In a tone that
sounded like the thunders of heaven,
"they say as how yes air makln* a
llaht o' the felleya yes kin lick sn'
thot me name's on it"
"An' so 'tis," retorted Mike.
"Bat rlst yer sewl," exclaimed Pat
aha king his fist doss to Mike's proboscis,
"yes cant do It!"
"Thin Ol'll scratch yer name off,"
said Mike feebly, and he continued
adding to the list.
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Not Frightonod by tho Warning.
"If such a thing occurs again, Marie,
I shall have to get another servant,"
said the lady.
"I wish you would, madam; there's
quite enough work for two of us,"
was the reply.
How to Toach 8istor to 8wim.
F. Hopkinson Smith, painter, author,
engineer and professional optimist,
says he overheard a conversation between
two Boston youngsters selling
newspapers.
"SAy, Harry, w'at's de best way to
teach a girl how to swim?" asked the
younger one.
"Dat's a cinch. First ofT you puts
your left arm under her waist and you
gently takes her left hand"?
"Come off; she's me sister."
"Aw, push her off de dock."
Evidently Hit Mother Raited Chickens.
The teacher recited to her pupils
"The Landing of the Pilgrims," after
which she requested each one to draw
from his or her Imagination a picture
of Plymouth rock. One little fellow
hesitated and at length raised his hand.
"Well, Willie, what is ltr
"Please, ma'am, do yon want us to
draw a hen or a rooster?"
w , w'
THE DRUMMER'S ERROR.
It Turned a Cry Into a Laugh and
Spciled the Scene.
It might have happened over on
Staten Island. Anyhow, it occurred;
in (Ireater New York and at a stock j
company house. The company put
on an uproarious farce one week,!
during the course of which the leading
lady made several burlesque
falls. In order to accentuate the
comedy of these the stage manager;
directed the drummer in the or- <
chestra to give the bass drum a re-1
sounding whack erery time the leaning
lady fell to the stage. He followed
instructions faithfully at even'
fall except one at the opening
performance. The stage manager
was furious. After the show he
hud a heart to heart talk with the
drummer in his dressing room.
"That was the place where the
*boom' would have got the biggest
laugh, and you let it pass P he roared.
The drummer scratched his Teatonic
head. "Yell, it looged serious
dere," he answered.
"No, that's burlesque," said the
manager. "Now, every time you
see her fall don't think anything,
but just wallop that drum. See?"
"Chess," said the drummer, and
at every performance thereafter the
boom of the drum never failed.
The following week the bill was
"Sapho." The leading lady took
her part seriously and studied great
effects in business for the "big
scene" at the close of the third act
when Jean leaves her. It would be
her great personal triumph, she
thought, ana truly her work was a
I triumph, and the audience thought
i Vnt
SO, too, *8 UlO utaj piwwvv?. ....
an eye in the house was dry when
the leading lady threw herself
against the door through which
Jean had just passed with his angry
farewell. Her form shook with
sobs, and the very atmosphere was
tense wjth emotion. Slowly she
staggered from the doorf then, ^h
a great cry of agony, threw up her
hands and as the curtain descended
fell prone to the floor while a burly
boom came from the bass drum.
Tears fled from the eyes of the
audience, the roar of applause was
stopped as it began, and only laughter,
wild and long, went up at Sapho's
agony to the accompaniment
of a bass drum, while on the stage
the leading lady bit a great piece
out of the floor rug and hoarsely demanded
to be led to that drummer
that she might wallow in his gore.?
New York Press. ^
Contagious.
An artist whose summers, spent
in out of the way place9, nave
brought him a rich reward of experience
as well as of success tells
many stories of the uninvited guests
who have gathered about his easel
on different occasions.
s* if 1 _J11
In one little uonnecucm twan
freckled faced boy appeared at if
by magic at his side one morning
and gaxed at the artist and at the
picture then in progress with an
intentness which was almost disconcerting.
"Did vou ever try to paint?" the
artist asked him at last, and he was
startled at the sudden illumination
of the sober little face.
"I kin paint some," announced
the boy, with certainty. "My father
could paint, and I ketched it
from him. But he's dead now, and
I thought perhaps I could ketch
some from yoij, mister."?Youth's
Companion.
Tending the Shrubbery.
People often imagine that a
shrubbery or bed of shrubs, once
planted, will go on of itself for
good. In fact, a shrubbery which
may appear neat, tidy and cared for
to the last degree may also be very
much neglected. In the course of a
little time the stronger and more
pushing plants will have completely
overgrown and ousted the more delicate
ones. The lady of the garden
wonders why the pretty guelder
rose and brilliant diervilla have dis
appeared, the answer being simply
that some great hearty laurel nas
deprived them of light and air and
f - d till the struggle has been too
hard for them. TTie careful gardener
is therefore continually watchful
for the well being of these more
tender and beautiful plants.?London
Tatler.
Che?rfu! Hint
Among the presents lately showered
upon a Maryland bride was
one that was the gift of an elderly
lady of the neighborhood with
whom both bride and gTOom were
prime favorites.
Some years ago the dear old soul
accumulated a supply of cardboard
mottoes, which she worked and had
framed and on which she never failed
to draw with the greatest freedom
as occasion arose.
In cheerful reds and blues, suspended
by a cord of the same colors
over the table on which the
other presents were grouped, hong
the motto:
Tight on; Fight Ever."?Woman's
Home Companion.
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Rheumatism.
M F Ballantyne & McDonough's J
Iron Foundry, Savannah. Ga., says i
that he has suffered for years from
Rheumatism, and could get no relie'lj
from any source but P P P, which |
cureu him entirely. He extols the 1
properties uf P P P on every occasion, j
P P P is the greatest known care j
for Rheumatism; it eradicates the ;
disease out of the system quickly i
forever.
P P P LiDoman^ Great Remedy, ;
u res Salt ltbe*im, with its itch and
iurning, Scald Head, Tetter, eto
P P P Cures Boils, Pimples, and
all eruptions due to the blood.
PPPcures Rheumatism and all
pains in the sides, baok and should*
era, knees, hips, wrists and joints.
P P P cures Bl*od Poison in all
its various stages, Old Uloers, Sores
and Kidney Complaint#..
P P P cures Catarrab, Ecaema,
Erysipelas, and all skin and blood
diseases, and Mercurial Poisoning.
For Sale by W L Wallace
Come See
what we are offering in
Wall
Papers
The most artistic designs and color,
ings ever shown in Kingstree.
Novel schemes of decorations that
will make your house different
from others at modest prices,
ALFRED WELLS,
Pointer and Decorator,
Kingstree, S. C.
Leave orders at Kingstree Hdwe. Co,
MO* 17
WHENEVER
You
Have
Any
KIND 8F BUSINESS
In e&l Estate See
STOLL BROTHERS,
Kingstree, - S. C.
IMCUI Kunvii
lit >ni SrdV?*d?)
Kr?7 Viaitlnt chopper* cor
VnyWKMCV dUlljr Invited to come
\WmS^R; fyi t>P *n?l ?lt on a (tump
^ bang about mi the
PHILIP 8T0LL,
9 27 12m. Con. Com.
' t
J/nsurance.
Fire Insurance,
Tornado Insurance,
Plate Glasslnsurance 1
Life Insurance,
Health Insurance,
Accident Insurance,
Burglary Insurance.
We represent only
3 Companies of unquestioned
reliability and
a policy is as good as
a gold bond.
We'll
Bond You..
As Cashier, Treasurer
or any position
of trust in any of the
largest companies in
America.
* ' '
Tile Williamsburg
Insurance & Bonding
Agency,
OFFICE OVKR L STACKLEY'8
STORE,
, Kings tree, - S. C.
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@.?::@:@:@:?:@:@?:?:?:?.@:?:?@:@::@:@?:?:?
@
@ The - - - jgj
I Daylight Store. |
? i i
The largest stock of fall goods we have ever carried has ar- W
@ rived and all and everybody is cordially invited to call
gij and examine all goods. Exclusive agents for Walk- A
Over shoes for men, the best on the market; ?
@ Browns' Shoes for men and women ?
ggj None better. $1,000.00 worth <Tf men's pants, best $
ft* quality and make. 11,000.00 worth of boys' suits and single a
19 pants; Shield's Hats for men and boys', all styles and colors, prices K
jfo $2.00 and $3.00.The best line of Dry Goods, Millinery Goods, Fancy, ?
^ Goods, Laces, Ribbons and Notions. We guarantee every piece jaj
v?) of I merchandise bought from our store. 5
?'
? a /
O ? *7$
H Stackley's Cash Store. ^
? KlhGSTREE. S. C S i
?:?:?:?:?:?:?:??:?:?:??:#::?c?:?!?.?:?il
For Sale at Cost.
On November 1
V
I will offer for sale my entire stock of merchandise
(except groceries),at Vox, 8. 0. This stock consists of
DRY GOOD5 SHOES, NOTIONS, HATS.
HARDWARE, HARNESS, ETC,
This sale will begin on November and will OOh*
tinue until the goods ace disposed of. These goods
will be sold AB80LVTBWf AT COST, aid now is
the chance to get bargain prices.
Remember the date and the name; ?'
NOVEMBER I,
E. F. PROSSER
vr?Y s. e
10-1007-4t W" |j
LOW RATES 1
to Columbia, S. C.,
Account of J
STATE FAIR !
VIA *\
wtiB
s Atlantic Coast Line.
/
Tickets on sale October 26 to 31. Final return limit November'
4. For further information, etc., communicate with your,
nearest Agent or write, 7
W. J. CRAIG, T. C, WHITE.
Pass. Traffic Mgr. Gen. Pass. Agent. ?.
WILMINGTON, NORTH CAROLINA.
v.al
. * .7 ' 1
f
THE GREATEST
State Fair
? 1
EVER HELD WILL BE THIS YEAR AT
COLUMBIA, S. C.
October 28 to November 1
Railroad Rates Cut in Half.
Plenty of Accommodations for Everybody.
Grandest Exhibits Ever Gathered in Dixie.
jsL Finest Races in the Whole South,
vjp Two Bier Football Games.
MAiCE YOUR PLANS TO BE AT COLUMBIA ALL
or rAIR WEEK
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