The county record. [volume] (Kingstree, S.C.) 1885-1975, March 21, 1907, Image 7
JOKES OF ACTORS.
Pranks on Comrades That Are Playad
Before the Audience.
Practioal jokes right in front of
the audience are not unknown
among experienced actors. Care
has to be taken that the business ,
y\>( the scene is not interfered with, j
lit the stage manager would speedi*
ly be camping on the trail of the
too enterprising jiuiiiuhm.
"A rather cruel but at the same
time very amusing joke was played
upon an unpopular member of a
Shakespearean repertoire company '
with which I once toured," said a
veteran actor to the writer.
'"The unpopular one was playing!
the ghost in 'Hamlet' on this par-'
ticular night, and the scene was j
managed in the old fashioned way? j
the 'majesty of buried Denmark';
rising 'through a trap instead of
coming on from the wings, as mod- j
era ghosts do. Two of the compa-:
ny stationed themselves beneath the j
stage, and as soon as the victim'6
head went up through the trap they
began to belabor Irs legs well with
a couple of stout <\mos.
"The winch raising the platform
on which the victim sroou was turned
very slowly i:i order to impart
proper solemnity to the ghost's appearance.
Picture the efforts of
the poor mnnnner to prevent the
anguish he suffered showing on his
face, which, of course, was in full
view of the audience!"
Worse, far worse, wa3 the fate of
some unfortunate actors who in a
popular melodrama had to drink a
toast in (stage) champagne. In the
l. ordinary way ginger ale does duty
on the boards fqr that exhilarating
wine, but on this occasion some
"end in human form had filled the
jttle with paraffin oil. "We dared
. not leave the stage till the fall of
the drop," said one of those who
took part in this unusual festivity
to the writer afterward, but how
we finished that act not one of us
knows."
? i a xl_ ^ I
in a once popular arama me
leading actress, who was also the
proprietress of the "show/' dropped
dead (as usual) at the end of the
third act one night and lay there in
full view of the audience waiting
for the fall of the curtain. But the
man who controlled the curtain refused
to lower it.
"You'll have to stay dead/' said
he in a low voice, "unless you promise
to pay me last month's salary
from tonight's receipts. Move your
right hand if you agree. I've wit
wcooco ugic?
The lady could not argue, but
she waited a full minute. The mutineer
remained obdurate. Then
the actress' right hand moved ever
*"so slightly and?the curtain fell.?
London Answers.
f
Natural Varnishm.
Fluid resins or oil from several
different trees are extensively used
in the Philippines as varnishes. One
of them, called oil of supa, is a pale
yellow liquid when fresh, but it
becomes dark and viscous after contact
with the air. Spread in a thin
layer it dries slowly and forms a
hard varnish. It is also capable of
being burned in a lamp. Another
natural varnish is balao, also called
oil of apitong. It is white when
fresh, but darkens after exposure
and makes a very tough varnish.
Oil of panao is a third variety, inferior
to the others in its drying
properties. Chemical analysis has
shown .that all these wood oils consist
entirely of hydrocarbons known
as sesquiterpenes.
8?m* Johnson Dofinitions.
An exhibition of the relics of Dr.
Samuel Johnson in London recalled
some of the remarkable definitions
. that remarkable man inserted in his
dictionary. Among them not the
least curious was the one given for
'network," which was defined as
"anything reticulated or decussated
at equal distances, with interstices
between the intersections." Other
amusing definitions are: "Cough?
, a convulsion of the lungs vellicated
by some shar serosity." "Man?not
a, woman, not a boy, not a beast."
"Pension?an allowance made to
' * 1 X T _
any one witnout an equivalent, m
England it is generally understood
."to mean pay to a state hireling for
treason to his country."
I,
Mere Sightseers.
"The chief trouble of the raint
ers," says an official of Alaska, "is
the lack of variety in their food.
i One day a young fellow fresh from
his lot turned into Seattle aild en ?
tered a hotel.
J ^ ?'Bring me some pork and!
beans/ was his request. The food
was- brought. 'Now bring me three
dozen oysters.' The waiter complied.
- With the two dishes before
him the miner proceeded to say:
'Well, pork and beans, you have1
been very friendly to me all my1
days in Alaska. ^?u have stood by
me like good felfciws. Now stand
by me and see me eat oysters/"?
Kansas City Star.
( vU,
ODOR TAINTED AIR. 1
It Is Not In Itself Poisonous or Evsn
Unhealthful.
According to the American Magazine,
"bad" air is not so bad. The
point is explained as follows by
Dr. Ilirshberg of Johns Hopkins
university in an article on "Popular
Medical Fallacies:"
"Foul air?which has for its ac- j
cepted meaning air heavy with the
gases and odors of decay?is not in
itself poisono'4; or even unhealthful.
Unless it contains such a large
proportion of foreign gases that it
is noticeably lacking in oxygen its
chief effect Is psychic. Some persons,
in brief, cannot abide a
stench. It sets their nerves on edge
and excites their imaginations, and
the result is that they grow pallid
and at times seasick.
"Thus indirectly it may weaken
them and make them an easy prey
to wandering microbes. But of it- '
self it produces little direct harm.
Medical students, breathing the unspeakable
gases and odors of the
dissecting room, manage to eat vast
dinners and to grow fat. Tanners,
garbage men, workers in fertilizer
factories and other persons who are
habitually surrounded by hair raising
aromas are ordinarily just as
healthy as other folk. ?
"That foul air is usually laden
with rather more germs and germ
bearing insects than air which
seems (to the nose) to be pure is
beside the point. Experience shows
that pure air often contains as
many of these enemies to health as
the most foul exudations from a
sewer outlet. The Stegomvia fasciata,
which carries the germs of
yellow fever, would be just as deadly
on a mountain top as along the
shore of a Louisiana bayou; hence
the absurdity of shotgun quarantines
and of all the other medicinal
manifestations of alarm that appear
when yellow jack rages on the gulf
coast."
French Art Running Riot.
Clever dealers in artifice?that is
what the majority of painters in
Paris havte become. For one man
whose work is "of the centre" you
have scores, hundreds, who are facile
and sometimes even accomplished,
but in the grain of their work incurably
factitious. They have made
no better use of the freedom from
formula, won by Manet and the others,
than to put more formulae,
usually very hollow ones, in the
foreground. Little groups are formed,
each one devoted to the unfolding
of a trick which some new man
has made temporarily popular. They
wax and wane, and you wonder why
they ever flourish at all. A sensation
is made at the salon not by
an honest piece of painting with an
original accent, but by some prismatic
audacity having no relation
to nature, by some purely arbitrary
scheme of chiaroscuro or, as in one
case that I have in mind, by a return
to the ''brown sauce" of the
old masters. ? Royal Cortissoz in
Atlantic.
An ld??l Citiun.
The ideal citizen is the man who
believes that all men are brothers
and the nation is merely an extension
of his family, to be loved, re
i. _ j j t l?
speciea ana carea ior accurumgiy.
Such a man attends personally to
all civic dut; .? with which he
deems himself charged. Those
which are within his own control
he would no more trust to his inferiors
than he would leave the education
of his children to kitchen
servants. The public demands upon
his time, thought and money come
upon him suddenly, and often they
find him ill prepared, but he nerves
himself to the inevitable, knowing
that in the village, state and nation
any mistake or neglect upon his
part must impose a penalty sooner
or later upon those whom he loves.
?John Habberton.
Punctilious.
A Washington woman prominent
in the official set of the national
capital tells of a function to which
she had invited an attache of one
of the legations famous for his extreme
politeness. The invitation
was formally accepted, but on the
< ji "ii l l
morning 01 me appointed aay sne
feceived a note, written by the diplomatist's
valet and couched in the
following terms:
"Senor Blank regrets much that
he will not be able to attend Mrs.
So-and-so's reception on the evening
of the 22d inst., as he is dead/'
?Harper's Weekly.
Not In th? Curriculum.
Mr. Jecklyns had just received
from his youngest son, who was in
tiis first year at college, a telegram
io this effect: "Dear Father?I am
about to take up a new study.
Please send me $25 to pay for the
jutfit."
He answered it at once in this
wise: "Dear John?What is the
ttudy ?"
To the query came this rejoinder:
"Dcat Father?It is golf."
;
MEERSCHAUM PIPES*
Americans, It Ssems, Do Not Maks or
Keep Them Right.
"You don't see the best meerschaum
pipes in this country," said
a German pipe dealer who learned
his trade in Vienna.
"Why? Because the Americans
are in too big a hurry?haven't time
to takt; care of a meerschaum,
haven't even time to learn how.
When the American is through
smoking he knocks his pipe on the
heel of his shoe to remove the
ashes, shoves it in the most handy,
pocket and is on the run.
"Now, in the old country a man
takes his pipe seriously, very seriously.
He expects his meerschaum
to last him a lifetime and then be
in good repair to hand down to his
heir. The pipe is passed from generation
to generation, and it is always
handled as carefully as a newborn
babe. The smoker never
touches the bowl while it is warm.
That would spoil the fine, glossy
color. When the German has completed
his serious and meditative
smoke his pipe is laid very carefully
away where it will cool properly and
without danger of scratching. He
does not ram it into his pocket
with other miscellaneous articles,
as the rushing American does. He
takes his time and gives it his care
and attention.
"The best meerschaum pipes in
the old country are made of soft
meerschaum and are hand carved.
Then they are boiled in beeswax.
The soft meerschaum absorbs the
wax. The fine color is produced by
the wax and the nicotine combining.
When the pipe is smoked the
wax softens from the heat. That is
why the pipe should not be touched
while warm. Touching mars the
gloss.
"The American manufacturer
does not carve or polish them by
hand. The work is done by machines.
The soft meerschaum, if
treated that way, would break, so
hard meerschaum, a low grade, is
used. The hard clay will not absorb
beeswax, so it is boiled in
glycerin. The most beautiful colors
cannot be produced with glycerin."
?Kansas City Times.
A Post Physician.
Hearing of Dr. Goldsmith's great
humanity, a poor woman, who believed
him to be a physician, once
wrote to him begging him to prescribe
for her husband, who had
lost his appetite and was altogether
in a very sad state. The kind hearted
?oet immediately went to see
her and after some talk with the
man found him almost overwhelmed
with sickness and poverty.
"You shall hear from me in an
hour/' said the doctor on leaving,
"and I shall send you some pills
which I am sure will do you good."
Before the time was up Goldsmith's
servant brought the poor
woman a small box, which on being
opened was found to contain 10
guineas, with the following directions:
"To be used as necessities require.
Be patient and of good heart."
No Reward Offered.
"Have you lost anything, madam
V aalrpd nolite floorwalker
of the square jawed, austere looking
shopper who stood before the "Lost
and Found" window of the large department
store.
"Yes, sir," she replied; "I've lost
114 pounds of husband in a light
brown suit, with black derby hat,
small tuft of hair on its chin and a
frightened look. I lost it in a crush
at the fancy goods counter. It's
probably wandering through the
building in search of me, and I
thought perhaps you could find it
easier than I can. I want it on account
of a bundle it is carrying under
its arm." ? Woman's Home
Journal.
{ SPRING! SPRI
^ MOW THAT IT
^ I wish to announce tc
^ public in general that v
i than ever before to ser
? buyer having just retu
i ^ markets where was ]
^ stock of Ladies' and G<
> Call and see for your
i Yours
I 8.. MA
I Kingstre
f
I
I
Chew Wha
Know Wh
There is real pleasure i
the best tobacco grownbest
tobacco grows?in t
Cmmfrrr
X L \*/\S UliU J
Only choice selectior
well-matured and thorou
tobacco is used in
SCHNAPPS. That'swhyS
and others of the Reynoli
as shown by the Interna
statistics for a fiscal year
wonderful growth of su
quarter million pounds,
gain of one-third of 1
increased consumption c
and smojking tobaccos in
States.
Evidently, chewers cai
theflavor and they cheer S
because SCHNAPPS ch(
more than any other cl
bacco, and every man t
SCHNAPPS passes the {
along- chewer ms
chewers?until the fact
tablishcd that there are r
Sold at SOc. per /
B. J. REYNOLDS Tl
Daft, but Canny.
"Speaking of prudence and carefulness,"
said a congressman, "recalls
the story of the weakminded
but prudent Scot of Peebles. This
Scot, a silly look on his face, was
skating near the famous iron bridge
of Peebles on a winter day. Some
young ladies wished to skate under
the bridge, but they did not
know whether the ice was safe or
not. So, approaching the Scot, the
youngest and prettiest of them
said:
" 'Sanders, would you mind just
gliding under the bridge and back,
so as to test the
"The half witted Sanders took
off his cap, and, with a bow and a
smile, he replied:
"*Xa, na. If I am daft, I ken
mannere. Leddies first/ "?Philadelphia
Bulletin.
The Malay Country.
One day a man, apparently white,
came into the best restaurant in
Atlanta. The head waiter looked
him over and thought he had negTo
blood in him. In fact, he was a
very light quadroon.
"Here, you!" the head waiter
said. "You are colored!"
"Oh, no, I ain't," the man replied
; "not in the sense you
mean." 4
"But you are mighty dark."
"I know I am, but that is be
cause I am a Malay ."
Thtf head waiter was nonplused.
He looked again and then asked
suspiciously: "What is a Malay?
Where is he from?"
"Why," said the man easily; "Malays
are from ^lalaria."
The Clever Baby.
Nodd?You say your baby doesn't
walk yet? Mine does. Same age
too. Your baby cut his teeth yet?
Todd?No.
Nodd?Mine has?all of them.
Your baby talk?
Todd?Not yet. Can yours ?
Nodd?Great Scott, yes!
Todd (desperately) ? Does ha
shave himself or go to a barber's?
/yyyw*yyvvvv*v*yvy*Tyvvv
NO! SPRING! j
HAS ARRIVED ^
) our customers and the 5
re are better prepared j
ve our customers, our 3:
irned from Northern 5
purchased an elegant j
mtlemen's goods. . 3;
self. ^
alwavs to please, ^
e, S. C. I
AAMMMfAAMMAMAMM r'
4
t You Know About and
lat You Are Chewing J
in chewing chewers and pounds of tobacco
-where the chewed, to the population, in those
he famous States where SCHNAPPS tobacco
was first sold than there are in the
is of this States where SCHNAPPS has not
ghly cured yet been offered to the trade.
making SCHNAPPS is like a cup of fine
SCHNAPPS Java coffee, sweetened just enough
d's brapds, to bring out its natural, stimulating
1 Revenue qualities. SCHNAPPS pleases all ,
, made the classes of chewers: the rich, be- .
? ? ? J? /* Vl ATir +Vl O 4*
L 3.I1Q UI1C" UdlibC LIICy UU 11UL illiu a mm
or a net really pleases them better at any :
the entire price; the poor, because it is more i ;|||
:f chewing economical than the large 10c. or
the United 15c. plugs and they get their money's
worth of the real snappy, stimanot
resist ulating flavor so appreciated by to>CHNAPPS
bacco lovers. All imitations confers
them tain much more sweetening than
lewing to- . SCHNAPPS. They are made that
hat chews way to hide ooor tobacco improp-- *****
good thing erly cured.
ikes other For the man who chews tobacco
is now es- for tobacco s sake, there is no chew . f
nany more like SCHNAPPS.
tound in Sc. Cuts. Strictly IOc. and /Sc. Plugs / gS
OBACCO COMPANY, Wlntton-S?l?m, N. C.
J Mid Winter Offerings. ?.||
LINEITE SPECIALATTENTI?N TO MY |
? ' Txoxa.23ed.stead.s SpjaB
? 2v?attxessos |
| Centre Ta/bles ' ?< ::J|
* Side Boards. ?
I keep on hand 2II the time a complete line of ?
| Coffins, Caskets and Undertakers' Supplies $
and render services day and night.
9 L. J. STACKLET, It
THE FURNITURE HUI. ?
? ^iiki/^/.rpncr? _ _ QC IK
2 <unuJ?iK?sc. - - - f
*99999999999999999999*999999999*9*
jj ? 1 a.J Hotels
I 1-lgni " Public buildings 2 |
$ TlfoderateCost.
8 ^Perfect dieting,
| Gasoline Engines for any purpose. 8
fl J. fS. Sngman, Florence, <S. C. *
i ?
? *" > 1 If 1 ? ?
112? Parlor Market\
*< &
=============?-????^^?
? Dressed Meats. Fish, Game. Poultry ?
J- Oysters, Eggs and Full Line
? nTsuza-ov Q-roceries?
? m*~ also $
? hides wanted highest market ?
? : prices paid. j>
? Tlxe 2?a,xlor 2v?a,xlset<? ?
? T. E. Arrowsmith, Agent., |
?? kingstree s. c. s?