THE DOCTOR The ?loctor tells you what to oat Ami likewise what to wear. S.., Ho chocks each pleasure that you moef And says, "you do uot dare." The doctor is a canny elf? , t He warns us 'gainst diseases. w tyit wears his clothes to please liimsol/ And eats just what ho pleases. HUMOROUS. D'Anber?But this drawing is not true to me. it is positively giuiwuuc Palette?Of course. He draws women's fashion plates. " You look pinched and drawn !" said he. " I've been pinched and photographed merely!" said the man behind the bars, genially. Ned?He thinks she's stuck on him. Fred? I guess that's right I've noticed her trying her best, but all in vain, to get away from him. Mrs. Smith?So Hatie is going to marry air. sucaer aner an ; mis. Brown?Ves, she was forced to it. It was the only way of ever having an evening to herself. " What shall I do with this article on the milk supply ? " asked the assistant editor. " Boil it down." replied his chief. And when he got through with it it was really a condensed milk article. Brown?I understand that Senator Green wanted you to act as his private secretary. Simmons?He did. but I wouldn't accept the position, because I should have to sign everything Green, per Simmons. Mrs. Partleigh?I ought to ask Tittlcton, I know ; but I'm afraid if he comes here once he'll be coming all the time. Partleigh?We could ask /n?n?in?r irKan Rnrflip is do Ilii.il OUIliC CICUlUo .. .. W. ing her piano practice. ' Don't you get tired." said the talkative customer, " standing there hour by hour ironing oue stiff bosomed shirt after the other ? " " No." answered the Chinese laundryraan. " It rests me to think I don't have to wear them." Hoax?Do you believe in the Darwinian theory ? Joax?Yes ; in all but one particular. Hoax?What is that?- Jo*x ? I think Darwin should have based his deductions upon the lobster instead of the monkey. AN ADJUSTABLE HAND. The Waiter Tr!N of One Time When He W?? Shocked. The waiter said you might have keeled him over by waving a palm-leaf fan at him, and that ever since he has been avoiding men who coine in wearing gloves, being of a nervous and excitable temperanjent with a weak heart action. The man who shocked him entered the restaurant at midday carrying a light overcoat on his arm and wearing one kid glove. "I took the coat," said the waiter, "and was gong to hang it up, when he stopped me and took a small, oblong leather case from the pocket and laid it on the table Then - ? f k A k n nrl D6 gOPS IU wuriv. (iuu givuo tLie uuuu that wore the glove a kind of a jerk and a twist and turned it clear around trice. Then he stopped a minute to look at the card and then gave his hand another turn. Before he had given his order he had got that hand clear screwed off. Cert'nly is was artificial. All the , same it made an old gentleman at the next table get up half way through his dinner and go out. To see a person come in where you arc feeding and take his hand off and lay it down by the side of his plate ain't what you michl mil annpliiinc. "But that ain't all of It. He opens the case and takes out a spoon with a Screw shank to it and screv,-s it into his wrist and begins to eat his soup, an* soon as he had got through that he takes out the spoon and puts in a fork. I'm a liar if he didn't make eight changes before he got through his meal, and when he finished he had me take his outfit into the kitchen and get them waihed. He gave me a good tip, but it wasn't any more than I ought to have had. considering. "I've been working in hotels and restaurants in thi3 town eighteen years next June, but this was the first time I ever seen anything like that.' ?Chicago Record. The Demand for the ISrazil Nut. There is no reason why the Brazil nut should not be extensively grown in tDe United amies, ?uuc no euiii?ation has already been tried successfully. The demand for it is shown by the fact that we imported about $25.000 worth of these nuts last year. Already the pistachio, which is utilized considerably by confectioners, is produced widely though not extensively I in the Southern States and in California. The kernel is greenish, and has a peculiar flavor. It is a native of Syria, and has long been cultivated in southern Europe, whence comes the bulk of the product brought to this country. A Mild Km ouraspment. " Do you think that there is as much chance now to make a good living out of literature ?" asked the youth. " More chance than before."answered the man with glasses; "especially if you know bow to set type and correct proofs."?Washington Star. . PENSION CHANGES. All Applications are Require to be Filed Anew. This year there are a number of changes in the pension department of the State government which should receive the careful attention of all members of county boards and applicants as well. In the first place each pensioner has to make an entirely new application. In order that the pensioners or those intending to get on the list may fully understand the requi-ements the State board has prepared and issued the following "rules for the guidance of county boards of pensions, as authorized by the act approved Feb. 19, 1900 " which are given for the information of the veterans: (1) The county pension boards will meet as required by law in January at the county seats, for the purpose of examining the applications of the various ex-Confederate soldiers and sailors and widows who are applicants for pensions under the act approved Feb. 19, 1900. Said applications must have the approval of the county board before the State board will approve. (2) The attention of the county pension board is directed to the certificate of the two witnesses, which requires that they shall not be on the pension roll. This is a change from the uid form and too much attention cannot be given to it. (3) Do not send to this office disapproved applications f>r pensions. ?4 > Do not use old blanks, but those prepared under act li'OO. They will be designated hy "Application, under act 1900." (3) It will be necessary for every old pensioner to make new application exactly as if they were applying for the first time. (6) The county boards are cautioned to provide the applicants with blanks suitable to his or her individual case. The State Board will not consider applications where this rule has not been observed. (7) Class A.?Those who as a result of wounds received in the war are hAlrvlpss. or who while in 1/UJOlVMi^ , __ such service lost both arm?, or both legs or sight; or who are disabled by paralysis and are unable to make a living and whose income does not exceed $150.00. This does not include soldiers whose disability arises from disease and causes since the war. Class B.?Those who have lost one arm or one leg and whose income does not exceed $150.00. Class C. No. 1.?Those soldiers and sailors disabled by wounds during the war. whose income does not exeeoJ $150.00. Class C. No. 2.?Those who have reached the age of 60 years and whose iDcome does not exceed $75.00. Class C. No. 3.?Widows of those who lost their lives while in the service of the State or the Confederate States, and --j. j ?1AAAA whose income aoes not ewew ?iw.vi>. Class C. No. 4.?Widows above the age of 60 years whcee income does not exceed $100.00. County boards cannot be too careful in these matters of "incomes" and "physical condition." He is a very poor man whose gross income from labor, rent and other sources does not exceed $75.00, or poor lands, if any. that will not produce this amount gross. Property sufficient to produce $75 in applicant's or his wife's name ^debars him. Where soldiers or widows dlsoose of their property by giving or selling to their children they are debarred. Widows of pensioners who remarry are not entitled any longer to pensions. i Pensioners who have removed to another State are no longer entitled to a pension. Those who have moved to another county must have their name? transferred and draw their pensions from that county. Please note very carefully the following: I^et county beards act promptly and fairly, giving the State board full information with complete reports bv townships for each county, and writing the names alphal etically. full and clear and beginning with class A and giving thc;r reasons for approving. In making reports to the State board the reports cVirviiri hp siened bv each member of the county pension board. J. P. DERHAM, Comptroller General. Chairman, W. D. STARLING, . W. E. JAMES. W. H. HARDIN. Te'egraphic Briefs. Sir Michael Hicks-Beach, Chancellor of the Exchequer, and Sir Matthew White Ridley, Home Secretary in the - ^ _ A. last Cabinet, have been elevated to me peerage. Otto Ottendorfer, editor of the NewYork Staats Zeitung, on whom a surgical operation was performed several days ago, is out of danger. Shooting Affray at Union. Union. Special.?J. M. Splawn, spinning room boss at the Union cotton mills, was shot three times by Tom Goings, a section hand. The wounded man is doing fairly well, but may not recover. ^ Splawn discharged Goings and the latter became enraged. Splawn was being brushed off by a negro when Goings approached and pointed the pistol at the negro and made the latter leave. Goings turned his pistol cn Splawn and fired, one shot hitting hiri on the right side of the neck, secon i between the elbow and shoulder, and third in the groin. Drs. Smith and Austell are attending Splawu. Goings Laj not been arrested. POPULATION OF TOWNS. Alany South Carolina Towns Show Good Gains. The population of eerain incorporated places in south Carolina, having a population of more than 2,000 but less than 23,000 i? as follows: Abbeville, town 3.7C6 .Aiken, town 3,414 Anderson, town 5,4b i Beaufort, town 4,110 Camden, town 2,441 Chester, town 4,075 Columbia, city 21,103 Darlington, town 3,20.3 Florence, city .. 4,617 Gaffney, city 3,937 Georgetown, town 4.13* Greenville, city 11,469 Greenwood, town 4,824 Laurens, town 4,023 Mount Pleasant, town 2,252 Newberry, town 4,607 Orangeburg, city 4,455 Rock Hill, city 4.4S5 Spartanburg, city 11,315 Su miner ville, town 2,420 Sumter, city 5,673 Union, town 5,400 Yorkville, town 2,012 Treasury Supply Runs Low. State Treasurer Tiramermin says that the actual ca.-h in the Stale treasury at this time is considerably less than at the same period of the preceding year. There are several reasons for this. In the first place, the expenditures by appropiations for this year have been heavier and the drafts have been more frequent. Then the taxes have been slower than usual in coming in. This is no doubt due in some measure to the habit of extending the time for the payment of taxes each succeeding year, permitting large taxpayers to hold back to the last. Dr. Timmerman has just issued a circular to the treasurers. calling their attention to the act relating to remittances, and urging them to forthwith forward any funds due the State. With these funds the traesurer hopes to avoid the necessity of borrowing any money with which to finish out this fiscal year. The dispensary, It is stated, will net more this year to the State tht.n any year since its establishment. Dr. Timmerman expects ample funds to meet all demands upon the treasury to reach him between tills time and the end of the year. The shortness of ready cash can. however, in case of necessity, be met by an overdraft without borrowing anything. Premium Tobacco Sale. Florence, Special.?The premium tobacco sale held by the three tobacco warehouses of this city was very successful. A large amount of the weed was offered in spite of the cold, dry weather, and the risk incurred by the planters In handling their tobacco. One hundred dollars in prizes was distributed to these winners. W. R. Laugston, best wrapper, $20; second best wrapper, $17.50; best average on 500 pounds, $15; Mr. Langston averaged $47.60. He is from Timmonsville. Best cutter, E. L. Yai borough, of Timmonsville, $10; best strips. J. H. Welsh, of T 'haeti 1 nf 'JOfQJ\ R 1 2\ CT v, I L > , f IV, JWL 1V(. VI Clements, $5; best, smokers, S. E. Brunson, $7.50; largest number of pounds sold by one planter. S. P. Crotwell, of Newberry, $15. Florence, Farmer's and Pee Jee warehousemen, as well as the planters, are satisfied with the results of the sale. Tobacco was high, one pile oi! wrappers bringing 65 cents a pound. Smallpox in 5partanburg. Col. T. C. Ganut has wired the governor as follows concerning the smallpox at Spartanburg: "Smallpox in city. Twenty-eight cases reported by inspector, besidis eight cases reported in city schools, which are ordered closed. Inspector not doing his duty. No pest house. | Ask for State protection. Will furnish evidence on investigation." About the same time this telegram dates from MayWnton. Newberry county, and signed by Mr. L. B. Anil, was received: "Case smallpox at Mavbinton. Want quarantine." Both reports were referred to Dr. James Evans, secretary of the State * * ? m ' -lit. W.. iaIaatwa nK ocara 01 ut'ui.u, uj New Enterprises. The Florence Hardware Company, cf Florence, got its commission, the corporators being M. Bonnoitt and A. W. Welling, of Darlington, and W. W. Watt, of Charlotte, N. C. The company will have a capital stock of $25,000 and will do a general hardware business, also manufacturing hardware specialties. R. H. Timmerman, of Judson, and J. Wm. Mitchell, of Batesburg, got a commission for the Mitchell Investment Company, of Batesburg. which pro poses to do a general real estate, brokerage and insurance business on a capital of $5,000. A commission has been issued to the R. L. Bryan Company, as forecasted in tho State. A commission was issued to W. F. W. V. and C. C. Humphries, of Gaffney, as corporators of -the Acme Furniture Company of Gaffney. The capital is to be $10,000. The company is to deal in furniture, house furnishing?, stoves, tinware, buggies, wagons and vehicles, and will conduct an undertaking business as well as manufacturing furniture. i When Charles I. v/as King. The new gilt spike ornament that finishes the ends of velvet and ribbon ties is the revival of a fashion popular in the time of Charles I., of England. Their introduction this season is traceable to the costume exhibition of all ages at the Paris Exposition. The pretty filigree points instantly attracted notice, and were promptly adopted by fashion. BUELL & ROBERTS' CASH DRY 108 STORE ?Ye continue offering inducements to close out our Suraxer Goods. We can mention only a few of the many goods reduced: Ladies' 8c Underveets for 5c. 10c Ties and Bows fer 8c, 25c Ties and Bows for loc. T~l? duoed prices. NEW GOODS. One case Lonccloth 5c; no starch. Fine Black Henrietta at 50c. TINSEL DRAPERY SILK A LINE, BALL FRINGE. Black Duck at 8 and 10c. FURNITURE DEPART3IENT. 10-plece Walnut Suits $75 to $100. 10-piece Solid Oak Suits $18, $22, $25, $30, $35. $40. $50. $55. Oak Hail Backs, French Plate Glaas, $7, $8.50, $9.50. Wardrobes $8 to $25. Bud Lounges 99 to 910. Bedsteads $2.25 to $10. Iron Beds. Iron Cribs. Parlor Suits $38 to $50. Baby Carriages $6.60, $7, $7.60. Floor Oilcloth 80c. Matting 10; 12, 14, 15, 18, 20, 23, 26, 27 and $0e. 10-pleee Chamber Sets $2.19 to $8. Window Shades 11, 16,80, 35, 40c to $1.25 Stoves $6.50. $7.50, $10to $15, Trunks $2.50 to $6.50. Ill I II Va?IMI nuuui Dyspepsia Cure Digests what you eat. Itartificially digests the food and aids Nature in strengthening and reconstructing the exhausted digestive organs. It is the latest discovered digest' ant and tonic. No other preparation can approach it in efficiency. It instantly relieves and permanently cures Dyspepsia, Indigestion, Heartburn, Flatulence, Sour Stomach, Nausea, Sick Headache,Gastralgia,Cramps, and all other results of imperfect digestion. Prepared by E. c. DcWitt 6Co., Chicago. , i fef ^ \Ch\ leaf $ 40Oft\7f\ EDM ~ ? . a ;c r_:i a Uur tee returned u we iau. any ui any invention will promptly receive ou ability of same. "How to Obtain a I secured through us advertised for sale Patent taken out through us receive TnE Patent Record, an illustrated am by Manufacturers and Investors. Send for sample copy FREE. ( Ad VICTOR J. E\ (Patent At Evans Building, Skin Diseases. For the speedy and permanent cnre oi! tetter, salt rheum and eczema, Chamberlain's Eye and Skin Ointment is without an equal. It relieves the itching and smarting almost instantly and .ts continued use effects a permanent mre. It also cures itch, barber's itch, analrl head cr\y& ninrtloc ifoKinr* rtil^a -AVUU) OV4V AkVUlU^, ^IIVQ, chapped hands, chronic sore eyes and granulated lids. > Dr. Cady's Condition Powders for ^ horse3 are the best tonic, blood purifier and vermifuge Price. Scents. Sold by JP ft I una MANUFACTURERS OF DOORS, SASH, BLINDS, MOULWNtt AND Building riaterial. Dealers in Sash Weighty Cord, Hardware, Window glasi, etc. We guarautee our work superior to any sold in this city, all being of our own manufacture. E.n.HACKER, Proprietor* CHARLESTON, - S. 6* Atlantic Coast Line. ' Sortl-Saisra Eiilroil cf South fciliii. ?__ " Condensed Scf.'dule. Dated April 15th, 1900. SOUTHBOUND. No.Sft" No.23* No.53* No.51* AM PM PM AM Lv. Florence 2 34 7 45 9 40 Lv. Soranton 8 21 10 Sft Lv. Lake City 8 27 10 38 Lv. Klngstree 8 54 10 59 Lv. Lanes 3 38 9 14 6 45 1190 P H Ar. Charleston 5 04 10 55 8 30 1 00 NORTHBOUND.No.78*No.82* No.52* No.5?? AM r M AM P M Lv. Charleston 633 404 7 CO 400 Ar. Lanes 8 32 Lv. Lanes 8 05 615 5 39 Lv. Ktr.pstree 8 23 6 56 Lv. Lake City 8 48 6 28 Lv. Scranton 8 51 6 29 Ar. Florence 9 25 7 25 7 05 A3! PM AM PU Trains Nos. 78 and 32 run via Wilson and Fayetieville?Short Line?and make close ooiinectioa for all points North. JNO. F. DlVlNE, Gen'l Sup'S. i Registration Notice. * ? - v * The office of the Supervisor of Regif-tration Will be opened on the first Monday in every month for the purpose of the registering of any person who is qualified as follows: Who shall have been a resident of tho State for two years, and of the county one year and of the polling precint in which the olector offers tovote four months before theday detection,and shall have paid,six months before any poll tax then dne and payable, and who can both read and write any section of tho Constitution of 1895 submitted to Lira by tho supervisors, of registration, or can show that he owns, and has paid all taxes collectable daring the present year on property in this State assessed at three hundred dollars or more. J. J. EAD-DT, Clerk of Board. 'iWMAIVM GOOD for all work, ^ BETTER for some, <1 BEST for everybody. - I Send for Your Neighbor's Endorsement. ' IHTURHER. GENL'SOUAGENZ 18 WALL ST. ATLANTA CA.\ # fMB ALL HOUSE ENTRANCE {TMTaBO ie sending sketch and description of r opinion free concerning the patentlatent" sent upon request. Patents at our expense. > special notice, without chargo, in d widely circulated journal, consdlted [dress, fANS & CO., \torneys,) WASHINGTON, D. C.