The county record. [volume] (Kingstree, S.C.) 1885-1975, November 11, 1897, Image 7
"KEEP A STIF
I There's a bit of homely wisdom
Floating 'round this busy world
for the weak and sad and helpless
Who, alas! are often hurled
'Gainst the rocks of old Misfortune,
t Off the cape of dark Despair.
' When they fail to gain a foothold
On earth's surface anywhere ;
And it loves to come and tell them,
%v . As it sees them slide and slip.
"The man wao does the winning
Keeps a good stiff upper lip!"'
Ah! it seems a little matter
; To the man on solid ground
That your legs are knocking under
And your bands are simply bound
By the cruel gyves of weakness.
Wrapped around your quivering frame;
Though you're working tooth and talons
To "get there" all the same,
1 He'll often kindly tell you
I'.r i That you "mustn't lose your grip,
But roust sally forth to battle
With a good stiff upper lip!"
; There is value in the saying
jtftf ' Ami there's value iu the fact.
And there's many times its value
In just the simple act :
But 1 often stop to wonder
When 1 hear it glibly said
A JW-JC J*. A A,
a THE Q10HTQHQE II
W " T| BY ANNIE RAM)
V Tilly stopped ironing and listened.
The pounding, with its accompaniment
of baby language, had ceased.
"Roddy Doo! Rotldv Doo!" called
Tilly, in alarm. Had he run away
again??Oh, dear!
c-r "It's that gran'mother knot I tied!"
she thought. "If I only could learn
f to tie a square one that he couldn't
undo!"
Hh?? trot down from the salt box iu a
ff hurry. It fell over with a little crash.
Tilly was so short and the table was so
tall that the salt box was as necessary
to ironing day as the irons themselves. ,
"Roddy! Roddy Doo?oo!"sheoalled
all the way oat to the apple tree. Yes |
?just as she had expected. He'd rnn
away! The clothesline trailed away
jrith sinnous curves down to the little
one-hinged gate, but there was no
Roderick DLu, rosy and dimpled and
dirty, at its end. Only his crumplv
pink sunbonnet with the white "poker
dots" was left of him. Tilly snatched
it up.
'NRoddy Doo-oo! Rod-dy Doo-oo-oo!
Where are you-oo?" she kept calling,
unconsciously poetic. There was very
little poetry in Tilly Gamble's hard,
unsheltered little life?and so much
prose!
The big calico apron that went with
the irons and the salt box trailed
ronnd Tilly's toes and got in their way
persistently. The crumplv sunbonnet1
^ flapped against her knees as she scurc.'
ried on.
- ?_ Al 1,1<?
"WUCrtJ U lur IT mm nunu o uct *?*?
to?" she. gasped. "He ain't up the
road or down the road or crossways o'
^ the road. I can't see a single inch of
I him, and it's too far to the riv? Oh,
no, no, no!"
She shuddered all over her thin little i
frame, and the freckles on her small
face stood out unduly prominent on
f its sudden whiteness.
"He never could run there, with
& such teenty-tonty short legs?lie
couldn't! he couldn't!" She comforted
herself, but the fright stayed behind
in her heart. That terror was never
quite out of Tilly's heart, except at
night when Roderick Dhii was asleep
And beyond its reach.
!- '*Oh^dear!" sometimes she thought,
4tif Moses Brady's last name was only
fe Bulrushes and he ha I a miracle rod
and could dry that river up!"
l~. But Roddy Doo had not run away
' 16 the river. Tilly found him?of all
f places!?in (ler shorn Flint's front |
i yard. Was there ever such a baby |
I there before? Did ever another baby
rummage among his flower beds?
It terrified Tilly to see him there.
^ She caught him up and twisted him
in her apron.
"O Roddy Doo!" she cried, softly. :
j "Ton ran away, you naughty baby?
p run naughty, naughty Roddy Doo!" |
"Fow! fow! see!" piped Roderick
Dim, opening his tiny moist palm to
.4 display a broken-spirited flower or two
L \ crushed into it. His little face peepge
ing out of Tilly's apron was freighted
-with mischievous glee.
^ "Mo'fow!" he cried, struggling to
get down.
"No, no: no n o*e flowers. Roddy
Doo must go rigiit home with Tilly'
Ian' never, never, nev-er run away!
again! An* O Roddy Doo, when you
do ran away, don't run to this man's I
> liouse. He don't tike little babies? J
. naughty babies!" she added, pointing .
y a hasty moral.
She hurried home aud retied RodI:
erick Dhu with au extra, knot to the
rope's end. Then she went back to
her ironing. It was Mrs. Primble's
Y t ironing, but when Tilly took it home
; by and by a sharp disappointment
awaited her.
"You needn't come after the clothes
next Tuesday, Tilly," Mrs. Primble ;
} said, ".in' von needn't go to Miss I
g Kath'i "ne'8 neither. She told me to
say so. She an' me's g.?iu' to put out
oar washin's an' ironin's both. We're
V decided to."
"May?may I do 'eui for yon?" .
pr asked Tilly, eagerly.
"Ton, child? Why, you're crazy;
You ain't no more tit to scrub than a
awaddlin' baby."
"Oh, yes, Mis' Primble, I'm real
. strctg?feel of my arms. An' they're
just as tough! I?I wisht vou'd let
n.o ' .
me.
"Xo, no, child. Wn&t an idea!"
Mrs. Primble's voice was uftconscions.
ly sharp. ' Besides, we've got a I
woman all spoke to. How's Roddy?"
she added, hastily changing the snbject.
"What'm? Oh, Roddy Doo? He's
pretty well, thank you. ma'am. I?
guess I'd better be goin' now.''
Out in the street Tilly's tense little
hands beat tattoo against her sides.
tJhe winked rapidly to keep back the
tears.
ri
F UPPER LIP."
How much there is in knowing
You have easy paths to tread.
And can hold the hand of fortune
And need not fear her whip
While you sing and dance beside her
"With a good stiff upper lip!"
And oft I wonder further
In behalf of him who's down.
As ho watches through the darkness
For some cherished good to crown
The efTort he is making
In the silence and the night.
If. standing in the doorway
In a blaze of welcome light,
He should chance to see the preachers
Who give this brilliant "tip,"
Holding out their hands to help him,
"Keep a good stiff upper lip !"
But e'en through all its phases
That mock our load of care
This homely bit of wisdom
Is a tonic to despair :
And we need to take it humbly
as wt* wanner 10 ?tnu iru.
For the God-man made it holy
On the cross of long ago :
And though we drink the wormwood
And life's pleasures seldom sip.
We must still toil on. my brothers,
"With a good sti.T upper lip !"
?Chicago Chronicle.
^ ^ * * A A AAAAAjy
IN H0DER1GK DHU. >
LTON DON SELL. F I
I
| "She might's well've said it," she
thought, bitterly. "She might's \
I well've said, 'you don't iron 'em
| smooth enough, Tilly Gamble, an' i
! you wouldn't wash 'em clean.' I !
1 guess I knew what she meant! Poh, :
l 1 should }iope you ain't goin' to cry, \
Tillv, or I'm ashamed o' von, ves I j
am!
, But in the night Tilly's tears per- j
sisted in pushing their way out. She ,
1 could not wink them back. In her ;
| plain little nightgown she sat up
straight in bed and gazed into the
1 darkness unseeingly. Mechanically
she put out her hand and pitted Boddv
Doo's warm little body beside her j
| over and over again; it comforted her. |
"Somebodv else has got to let me j
! iron," she was thinking. "I've got
! to do something. If?if I don't, au'
!?an'Jthe money gets all gone, then
! I'll have to carry Roddy Doo to the
I 'sylum?Oh, I can't, I can'k!"
Poor little Tilly! The thought of
that was more than even her stont
little heartcould bear?to have Roddy
Doo taken away from her! It had
stared her in the face ever since her
mother died. That was nearly a year
ago now.
If Mis' Primble an' Miss Kath'rine
had given her up an* the Peters'
moved away?"an'they're goin'to!"
| moaned Tilly in the dark; what should
she do? She couldn't go out to work
i ?there was Roddy Doo. And the j
money?mother's money?was almost j
gone. v *
Another trouble?but Tilly would j
not think of that?was the little shanty |
house they lived in. By and by the j
man that owned the land was going to j
I taao 1 /Ia rwl Kn il<1 a Timr i
tcai if uvfiiu auu uuuu a rai> ut ?
house. By anil by?its very indefiniteness
comforted Tilly, and there
were nearer dangers now to brood
over. Until "by and by" she and j
Roderick Dhu were permitted to live, j
rent tree, in the tiny, unkempt house, j
"But you can't live in free bouses j
without eatin'," rau ou the child's ,
anxious thoughts: "an' yon can't eat I
when there ai.Vt anything, an' folks ;
won't let you iron their clothes. Oh, I
dear me!"
It was very late when at last the :
stiff little figure swayed back on the .
pillow asleep. There followed hard !
days fbr Tilly. She hardly knew how :
she got through them, the load on
her heart was so heavy anil the dread
of the " "sylum" loomed so before
her.
The Peters moved away, and, one
by one, Tilly's slender little means of
support seemed to desert her. She
kept her trouble to herself, and, when
il L M -I. ^ ?a. LaM'|
lurrt" wu^ uu iitri|? iui n, sue *?cv uci ?
little white teeth and got Roddy Doo j
ready. It was a very short process, j
The night before the day she had set ;
to carry him to the orphan asylum she I
'ay awake all night, with the baby in ;
her arms and his sweet, warm breath '
fanning her cheeks. Her trembling j ]
fingers patted him incessantly, hour ;
after hour.
Just as the faintest daylight began
to creep into the world Tilly's inspiration
came to her. It took away her :
breath. It set her pulses lteating j
with wild, triumphant joy. She j
hugged Roddy Doo fiercely against i
her breast and then crooned over him ;
till he went to sleep agaiu.
"I'll do it, I'll do it!" she whis- !
pered. "I'll go today?oh, I'm goin' |
to keep Roddy Doo?I've found a ,
way!"
Gcrsliom Flint was the richest and
the hardest mau in Prospectville.
People said he had heen keen and j
snug and hard as his own name. The |
boys nicknamed biin Skiu Flint, and | ;
to all appearances he admirably fitted :
the unsavory name. About half the i
houses in the tow n were under mort- 1
gage to Gershom Flint?woe -betide
them!?and a sharper mau could uot i j
easily have been found to carry so j
tuanv of other people's burdens.
i That w as what people said. If old
Mary Jessup, who had kept Gerskom
! Flint's house for him for 20 years,
thought different, no one knew it. If j
she eottlil have told of many quiet J
good deeds done during all these years, i
she never did tell. Her face,as grave 1
and stern as her master's, was as in- j
scrntable. They lived their lonely, !
uneventful lives in ap]>arent indiffer- '
ence to people and people's tongues.
At his breakfast one day Mary in- 1
terrnpted him in an unusual way. She j
was smiling, and her master felt a ;
sudden wonder that he had never seen [
before how really good looking Mary ,
was.
"There's some young ones to see i
you, sir,'' Mary said. "They come to
the front door, an' they're waitin'.
There's a little gal an' a baby."
[ "Children?to see ihe!" Gershom
, * ' ' - '- ,
Flint's voice bad . astonishment in it i
It was such an unusual occurrence?
chihlreu! When had any childrou ever
been to see him before?
He got up and pushed away his
chair.
"Where did you leave them,Mary?"
he asked, w ith affected indifference.
"I asked "em in, but the little gal
said she'd stay to the door. She's got
the baby tied to her."
"She's got what?"
"The baby, sir?tied to her with a
string. She said she had to or he'd
run away."
"Oh! Well, go and fetch 'em in
here. Tell 'em I've only got a minute
to spare. Hurry 'em up."
Confound it! What could auv chil
dren want of him,Gershom Flint! He
wasn't really on visiting terms with
any of their kind; must he little beggars,
confound 'em!
He took out his watch and held it in
his hand as Tilly and Koddv l)oo came
in. Roddy l)oo was tugging hack on
his leash Rtoutlv. His small, round
face was very shiny with recent soapsuds
and puckered with grieved revolt.
Tilly put both hands on his tiny
shoulders and pushed him toward (iersliom
Flint. Her face was full of i
eager purpose.
"I came ?Roddy l)oo, make a how
? quick?to the man?to get you to
mortgage the le.by." she said. "If
you please,"she added,in polite ?Ltert
hou glit.
Mr. Flint stared astonished.
"Her?"
"To mortgage the baby?hiui, you
kuow," prodding Roddy Don's fat
cheek with her finger. -"I want him
mortgaged right off?if jou please. I
It's the way they do when?when they i
haven't any more money left, isn't it?" ;
she asked, easrerlv. She had gone up i
quite close to iiim and wfca peering
wistfully into his stern face. Roder- [
ick Dhu, on tiptoe, reached tip and j
cluched his dangling watch chain with i
a murmur of approval. The little i
moist, velvety hand touched his for
an instant on its way.
The girl's anxious face close to his |
face, the baby's touch unfamiliarly, j
oddly pleasant, and. above all, the ex- j
traordinaiy proposal, combined to
get her to produce a strange effect upon i
Gersbom Flint's senses. If he had
ever >cried or laughed iu Lis life he ;
would have better understood the con- i
fusion of sensations. As it was he
merely waited for further develop- I
nients. What would come next?
"Won't you do it?" asked Tilly, a
little note of apprehension in her ;
voice. "He's a beautiful baby to
mortgage. I wisht von would!"
"You wi$h I would, hey? Mort- j
gage the baby,hey? Come here,little '
chap!"
Gershom Flint actually lifted tue '
child to his knee in an awkward, nu- j
accustomed way. Little amused !
wrinkles were beginning to nutate |
from the corners of his eves?stiffly, i
at if the skin were unused altogether j
to the process. A warm spot somewhere
in Oershom Flint's heart was ;
manifesting itseif insistently. He Jran
his fingers lightly over the wrig- j
gling baby body as if testing its sonnd- j
ness. ?
"What do yon value him at?" he
asked, gravely,
"ff?what?" quavered Tilly, looking
blank.
"I'm not accustomed to mortgage ,!
for more than two-thirds the value.
So I must know what price you set on ;
the youngster?how much yon think j
he's worth, that is."
"Oh!" breathed Tilly. Her brows
were knit in puzzled thought. She
looked at Koddy Doo with ail her love
in her eyes and an anxious quiver in
her chin. The tiny fellow's head was
nestled against Gershom Flint's coat,
as he clinked the gold chain, with
soft repetition, against the buttons. j
?' 4.V. .11 41,...
lie n nui i ji Cinj i uiu^ ?u vuc t v
is?to rue." said Tilly, slowly.
"Exactly," Gershou Fliut nodded j
gravely. "Well, I will mortgage him
at two-thirds of liis value, interest at
six per cent., payable quarterly. Does i
that suit you, hey?"
"Oh, yes?ob.I thauk you so much! .
An' I needn't put him in any dredful
'sGurn?no, no, no! Roddy, Roddy |
Doo, do you hear, darlin'V You're
guin' to stay right with Tilly an' be
tied to Tilly's clothesline?"
Gershom Flint uttered a queer gut
tural sound. Roderick Dliu was
asleep! His little hand slowly relaxed
about the watch chain and fell
with a soft slap to the big hand under- i
neath. Through the thick coat his j
little head felt pleasantly warm.
When Tilly went home that after- !
noon she carried, tightly held against .
her breast, a little role of "mortgage 1
money" that meant home and Roddy !
Doo and all things beantifnl to her. 1
She hid the most of it away with care- |
fnl prudence and only resorted to it
under actual stress of need. For little
Tilly Gainb'e carried on her narrow, |
thiu shoulders a wise head of her own.
She went patiently about among the
neighbors seeking wt^rk, squaring the '
thin shoulders and trying to look
"grown up" and capable. It was a
discouraging quest for the most part,
but Tilly kept persistently, stubbornly
at it till she found, here and there,
little tasks to do that helned to make
Roderick Dhu's mortgage 4'upend."
But the little hidden hoard dwindled j
in spite of Tilly. There was the interest
money?that came out of it !
every month?and every month, with
precise regularity, Tilly and Roddy i
Doo, shining ami cle&u, paid it to |
Gershom Flint.
He came to anticipate their coming ;
with more interest than he would con- ;
fesf to his dogged old heart. It grew
to be the one bright, fresh spot in his j
lonesome existence ? the sight of j
Tilly's plain, honest little face and
Roddy l)oo's nestle.on his knee. Between
times, too, he kept the children
in view, quietly aid with a feeling of
responsibility that greatly astonished
himself.
Once he made them a call at the
scanty house. He had heard that its
owner was planning to tear it down
and rebuild in a short time. The
news disturbed him unaccountably.
Tilly was ironing,pieced oat by the
sal* box. The baby,pieced ont by the
o* .ifiesline, was placidly making mud
pies outside the kitchen door. He
held one up to Gershom Flint with
prompt politeness, pressing it upon
him.
"Xo, thank you, I've had my dinner,
Roderick Dliu. Where's your
sister, eh?"'
Tilly appeared at the door, rolling
dowu her sleeves precipitately.
''Oh, Mr. Flint," she said, "won't
you walk right- in? I'll wash Roddy
Foo's face an' untie him. Won't you
take a chair?"
Gershom Flint's keen eyes looked
over Tilly's head at the kitchen's bareness
and tiny dimensions. He noticed
how clean it was. He saw the salt
box. and it appealed with dumb pa- |
thos to him. And this was the home
they were poin<; to be turnetl out ol! |
"No. No, I won't come in," he
said, slowly. "I was going by and
thought I would stop and see if my? |
ah?property was in good condition? j
or needed repairs?or anything of that
sort."
He looked down at the little mudpieman,
with the wrinkles again
around his eyes.
"He seems?yes, I should say he
was in perfect repair. I am entirely
satisfied," he added, gravely.
When winter arrived affairs in the
sbanty house were sorely out of joint.
The old eontiugeney e ared Tilly in
the faee, aud new troubles augmented
her alarm. Roddy Doo's mortgage?
that was all gone, and, oh, the interest
money! Tilly wrung her thin little
hands in nespais. The interest had
not been paid for ever so loip. And
the last?not least?straw ^ras the
shanty house itself. For they were
ordered ont in three days.
It was interest day, and Tilly muffle
1 Roderick Dhu in her shawl and
led his little lagging feet to Gershom
Flint's. Not to pay it?oh, no! But
they must go and tell him.thev couldn't'
yet.*
"I?I can't pay it, Mr. Flint," she
_ ? t x 1 ? i 4T U 14
cneu, iremuiouHiv. ? r?u i. um u
you'll wait?"
"Xo," Gershom Flint Mid, distinctly,
"I shall foreclose."
"F-fore?what, sir?"
Tilly did not comprehend the word,
hnt the sound of it terrified her. It
sounded like " 'sylum" in her ears.
"I shall foreclose," said Gershom
Flint again. "And that means the
baby belongs to me. Wten the interest
is unpaid the possessor of the
mortg ige has the right to the mortgaged
property. Roderick Dhu, come
here! Take off his shawl."
He held out his arms, and the child
leaped into them.
"Tilly come?Tilly too!" he cried in
his shrill little treble. "Tilly come
too."
Tilly stood in fixed despair. Her
gaunt little face slowly whitened.
What was this that had happened? No
wonder that word sounded like " 'avium"?it
was " :?ylum"?it was! it
was! And no help for it in all the
world!
A low cry escaped from Tilly's rigid
throat. ,
"Tilly ? Tilly too!" shrilled the
baby voice importunately.
"Yes," (lershom Flint's voice rang
out distinct and gentle and comforting.
Ho held out his hand:
"Yes, Tilly?Tilly too," he said.
?The Housewife.
QUAINT AND CURIOUS.
Blonde hair is the finest and red the
coarsest that there is.
There are silver ingots lying in the
Bank of England which have been undisturbed
for 200 years.
In the Klondike regions in midwinter
the sun rises from 9.30 to 10
a. m., and sets from 1 to 3 p. m.
It is expected that when ihe 1899
season opens there will be a cogwheel
railway from Chamounix up the Montenvers.
Benjamin Bisseil, who lives near
Ballston Spa,X. Y.. says he has voted
for eighteen presidential candidates,
not one of whom was elected.
Giraffes are from fifteen to sixteen
feet from the ground to the tip of
their horns. Specimens from eighteen
to twenty-three feet have been
known.
Toffinnrj n lin faiierlif in tliA
late war against China have petitioned
their government to erect a monument
to the memory of the horses that fell
in the battle.
The toothache excnse for absence
from duty dues not work in the postoffice
service in Switzerland. They
have government doctors to pull out
the offending molars.
The beautiful lace known as Fayal
is made from the fibres in the leaves
of the bitter aloe?grown in the Azores
or Western Islands?a relative of the
common century plant.
A fat men's club *as been instituted
in Paris, with the novel aim of increasing
the weight of the member*,
the rules enjoining all the comrades
to sleep, eat and drink as mnch as
possible.
A runaway horse at Florence, S. C.,
jumped a six-foot gate and, the dangling
check rein catching on a picket,
the horse's head was pulled in such a
manner that the animal turned a somersault,
landing on its back, bat it gained
its feet and ran on.
The American eagle is about thirtythree
inches in length and eight feet
in the spread of his wings. It is this
wonderful wing power which gives
the bird not only his fleetness. but
enables him to remain in the air an
indefinite length of time.
A KEMAKKABLE CAREER
DRAMATIC EPISODES IN THE LIFE
OF EDMUND C- ROSS.
From Typesetting to the United States
Senate -Hark to the "Cane" Again--HowHe
Wan Appointed Chief Executive of
New Mexico?"Gov. Kou, if Yon Please."
Forty-one years ago, writes J. A.
Watrous in the Chicago Times-Herald,
a family named Ross, then and for
some time residing in Milwaukee, constitnted
a part of a Kansas colony
which *eiit all the way from Wisconsin
in covered wagons. It is not nec
A it-.l Al A L
cssary 10 Bay ma* mere were ixuuulous
times in Kansas in 1856, when
John C. Fremont was the first Republican
candidate for President and
James Buchanan the Democratic.
Shooting between men was an everyday
occurrence, and men shot to kill,
too. The colony from Wisconsin was
armed, both men and women carrying
revolvers and the men rifles besides.
Nearly every day, while on the way to
"bleeding Kansas," there was a stop
to practice shooting at a mark. Some
of the young fellows made a frightfully
bad showing; couldn't even hit the
tree upon which the mark rested. A
printer, Ed Boss, a member of the
family mentioned, was a most dismal
failure as a marksman. His mother,
quite an elderly woman, wearing spectacles,
stood for some time watching
the practice. After the printer Ed
had s)iot four or live times and missed
the tree each time, his mother said:
"Afv bov, votf can't shoot for shucks;
give me that revolver." She carefully
reloaded it and took position several
yards farther away from the mark
than Ed and the other poor shooters
had been located. Planting her left foot
sixteen inches behind her right and
bringing the revolver up like a professional,
she took a quick glance at the
mark through her glasses, pulled the
trigger and down came the white
patch.
"Stick it up again,"said Mrs. Ross.
Again the mark fell to the ground
and again it was replaced and lusoeked
down.
When Mrs. Ross offered the revolver
to her son he said: "No mother,
you keep it. I'm no gunner; you are.
I will get a "sit" in a printing office
when we get there and use another
kind of "shooting stick," and you can
kill my share of those border ruffians."
Ross kept his promise. He went to
work at his trade and in due time be
uiuic au runvi ?uu |/ivsj/iiowi, mvh
long after the war Kansas had one of
its regdlar rip-roaring senatorial contests,
which resulted in the election
of the printer-editor, Edmund 6. Boss.
He went to Washington a Republican,
but would not follow his party in the
enterprise to depose President Andrew
Johnson. The Kansas Republicans
ne rer forgave him. Since then he has
b'jen a Democrat.
When Mr. Cleveland became president
the first time Ross was a typesetter
on a New Mexico paper and very
poor. One day, while setting up a
list of presidential appointments, the
old printer, whose family had been
scantily clad and fed for some time,
got to thinking over his past good fortune.
He said to himself: "The last
Democratic president was saved by
my vote, and I have suffered for that
vote ever since. I could have been
re-elected to the United States Senate,
maybe several times, but for that act.
As it is, I'm poor, in need, my family
lacking the comforts of life, and I
working at the case. I'll ask the new
president for the governorship of
New Mexico."
The next day his application and the
letters of several influential Democrats
were on their way to Washington. It
was not many weeks after that when
the foreman handed the old printer
another "take" of presidential appointments.
When his dim old eyes,
looking through spectacles, fell upon
"Edmund G. Ross, to be governor of
New Mexicca" the "stick" fell from
his hand, and when the foreman looked
over his "case" the printer's face was
in his half-closed hands, resting on
the "space" and "a" "boxes "
"What's the matter, Rossr' asked
the foreman.
Thfl old man slowlv raised Lis head.
looked at tbe foreman and said: "Governor
Roes, if you please; look at
that," and lie pointed to his "copy."
"Drop your work and come here,
all of yon," called the foreman. "I
want to introduce you to the governor
of New Mexico. Together, hip, hip,
hurrah!"
One of the printers dodged out of
the office and ran over and told the
Ross family of the good news, and
when the governor was about halfway
home he saw his household coming to
meet him. The baby, a winsome
young lady, threw her arms about his
neck, gave him a noisy kiss, and in a
half laugh and half cry voice exclaimed:
"Ob, papa, w e are all so glad
for your sake. Now you won't have
to work so hard."
"Well, daughter, I'm so glad for
yonr sake and that of the family."
Mr. Ross made an excellent governor,
as he had senator twenty years
before; but his old mother outranked
liira mauy times in revolver practice.
The last I heard from him he was still
living in New Mexico.
A Servant's Stipulation.
Servants have long ruled in American
homes, and the servant qnestion
seems to be giving equal bother abroad
now. In Russia the governor of St.
Petersburg lias taken it in hand, and
now the news comes from London that
servants are demauding the use of a
bicycle on their "day out." It is an
old story that they wanted the nse of
the piano for at least one evening in a
week. But this latest stipulation for
a bicVcle has (so we are told by a London
paper) been acquiesced in by one
gentleman in London rather than lose
a promising servant.
^ ' y
PLEASURE'S PROFESSION
Though the perfume of the roses
Brings uo more its blandishment!
Though the honey bee now dozes
In luxurious content;
Let us still be bland and smiling,
Nor lament the days of yore;
Let ns turn to the beguiling 1 .
That the future has in Store. V
Though the honeysuckles vanish,
Though the frost may reign supreme, * f
Ruthless autumn cannot banish Tt
Redolence and dainty gleam. f
Our good cheer cannot be shattered;
Fancy sweetly bids us wake,
To inhale the incense scattered t :
By the radiant buckwheat cake. 7
-Washington 6tazJ ^
HUMOROUS.
"I'm sorry to hear you have bee* _ vj
ill. Had you to keep your bed?" "No,
miss; I had to sell it."
First Cyclist?Oh, you wouldn't'
likeJobson; he's got a wheel in hi*
head. Second Cyclist?What make? J
"My dear, why are you saying thoae
old fly papers?;' "Why, you said yost
always have to buy flies when you go j
lishing." . ;
Si Hayseed?Hyar, young fellarl I
don't allow nobody ter ketch fish on.
my farm. The Young Fellow (dis- rJj
gustedly)?Who's catching fish.
"Why do prosperous men always *
say that the ladder of success is made
op of broken rounds?" "Well, they < ?
do it that other fellows won't toy to i
rrawl up after them."
The Sunday school class' was stag1ing
"I Want to Be an Angel." "Why
don't you sing louder, Bobby?*' asked
the teacher. "I'm singing as loud as
I feci," explained Bobby.
Sister?There! yon have candy all, .? ^
over your new suit. What will mamma
say? Little Brother?Well, mtmma
won't let me have any fun in theee
clothes till I get 'em spoiled. j;
Blinks?You don't mean to say you're
found a sure way to make money at
the races? Jinks?Sure as shooting.
I never fail. Blinks?My! my. Do
yon buy tips? Jinks?No; I sell
them.
"Our typewriter girl asked the boas '*
if he couldn't lighten her work." %
"What did he ssv?" "He told her not "
to bit her typewriter keys so hard and- . v|
to lick her postage-stamps only on tfco
?"UWK
Foster?Look here, Felton! I took \,M
vour advice 011 that hone Felldown,
and I'm dead broke. I thought y fa
said the owners were going to play
him to win? Felton?That's right. * ^
They did win. They bet against him.
"Now, really," said the Thonghtlitt
Man, "did yon ever see a woman who
was homely enough to stop a dock by
looking at it?" "No," said the Hon- .
sensical Chap, "bnt I have seen a
woman stop a car by looking at the
conductor." '
"I saw Jones this mording;" said
the gentleman with the pea green* -h
whiskers, "with an awfnl eat on bis
head that his wife had given him. Ho
was harrying as fast as he could to
the " "To the doctor?" "Ha*. ' *4$
To the barber's to have it cut right.'*
Pleasant Woman (in art gaUer|^Jjjj|3
noticing an artist copying one of tbb
old masters)?Whv do theT oeift this
picture twice? Hear Husband?Why,
that's quite plain. "When the new
picture is done, they hang that one oie
the wall and throw the old one away. vj
"So, I have won the wager," ha
said, joyfully, "and the ten kiMee
mine. I will take them at once.**
"George,'' siid the beantifai girl,with
a generous light in her eye, "I am not jf
the one to drive a hard bargain. Let'a
call it nine ninety-nine." Aft ten
o'clock the score was past the hundredth
mark.
Peg Eevlous ef the Swfawelaa Cel.
Every one of the kaieerf' Six eons,
even the youngest, can erwim like rats,
and this reminds me?whoeter heard *
of a cat swimming} But there it a \
certain cat of clerical associations and'
impeccable social standing,who swims
like a fish, and what is more, appears
to enjoy it like any duckling. A pug
dog in the family seems to thiuk the
performance unnatural, and whenever
the cat goes down to take his bath,the
pug follows, showing every sign of <i;
jealousy when visitors applaud and
express surprise. rne otner amy gas
Muster Pug could stand it so longer; .
he, too, took a plunge, and in a few
moments having reached puss seized
the creature by the throat and held '
its head under water until life wan * "/
nearly extinct. Fortunately some one
saw the deed andiushedto the rescue,
but even this painful experience haa
failed to deter the cat from taking bin , |
favorite amusement. One might
readily believe now that even the
animal species were "degenerates'* |
and turning topsy-tnnry in this century 3&
end, like their superiors. ?Boston ' %
Herald.
The Karth at the Pole*. .
A French scientist, M.de 1'Apparent, . y
finds in Nansen's discovery of the un- |
expectedly great depth or the Arctic * w
ocean an argument tending to show
that the earih is slightly top shaped,
the protuberance corresponding to the ri
point of the top being at the South
Pole. This, he thinks, would explaim
the different results arrived at by the
various measurements of astronomers 'IS
and geodesists. These differences are
very small in comparison with the en- ,/??
tire bnlk of the globe, yet tiity are
readily appreciable, and one of the
explanations that has been suggested
for them is that the earth is tetrahedral
in form, But M. de 1'Apparent thinks
the top-shape theory is preferable. 3
The fact that to an eye looking at the
earth from a point in space it would
not sensibly differ in appearance from
a trne sphere shows how refined are f
the metbo?ls of science which enable
men living on the s irface of the glebe ^4pj
to detect variations in its general coa- *
tour. , . Wi
M