The county record. [volume] (Kingstree, S.C.) 1885-1975, June 17, 1897, Image 6
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THE GOONTY RECORD
KIJSGSTREE? S.'C."
LOUIS J. BRISTOW, Kd. X Prop'r.
a a.-,' _ ?
LAND OF THE SKY.
The Charms of Asheville and Biltmore?Tennnessee
Centennial Exposition.
There are no more beautiful or delectable
resorts in America, at all times of |
the year, than Asheville and Biltmore,
situated upon the lofty crests of the
Blue Ridge Mountains, in western
North Carolina, in the fabled "Land of
the Sky."
Ever since the charms of this wonderful
and most fascinating region became
known to the traveling public, it
Km Wn th? of all who love to
dwell in the choice abodes of nature.
And nature has indeed been exceedingly
generous in the bestowal of her gifts
in respect to the "Land of the Sky."
Never was a country blessed with a
more salubrious or equable climate;
never was a country invested with such
lovely, romantic and chaste scenery, as
this marvelous region of the Southland.
Sweeping with the eyes the vast ex'
nanse of nature on every hand, the
'' grandeur of the creation?of the growth
v and embedishment of cosmio life,
rise up and unfolds before the enrapr
tured vision with imperial splendor,
displaying scenes of the rarest virtue
and enchantment.
- Through the mountain ranges of the
"Land of the Sky," the devious course
of the beautiful French Broad Kiver
marks a succession of glorious vistas of
cosmic life. The high-walled canons, or
the tree-clad peaks standing sentinel on
either hand form a wonderful setting to
the sparkling river as it flows onward
toward the sea.
. v > The three famous resorts of the' 'Land
? of the Sky" are Asheville.Biltmore and
r-. Hot Springs. These may be considered
tr, separately:
, Asheviile is an enterprising city
nestling amid the imperial ranges that
[. mark the "Land of the Skj'," and has
all the indicia of a live and pro^
gtessive municipality. It is distinctlv
a r?Rort and is graced with
numerous palatial villas, tasteful
% cottages and grand hotels. Its
?,"> streets are romantic, tree-shaded drives
%r winding about in the most picturesque
fashion, and in the pretty park adiacent
are the handsome homes of the
ftV, favored inhabitants. The climate is
singularly pure, dry and bracing, and
possesses to a remarkable degree the
qualities which tend to promote health
f and pleasure. The number of clear
. days is very high for the average year.
?,? In winter the climate is very mild, yet
extremely bracing. In summer the
'1 . charm of outdoor life is inexpressible.
\ -v The air is warm and genial, yet not
eppctissive, on account of dryness, and
the nights are delightfully cool and
conducive to restfulness and swoet repoaOi
The great resort hotel at
Asheville is the Battery Park?a
iMKXtifloent home which exemplifies
the highest degree of luxmy and good
^ taste. No words of commendation
re needed for this famous house,
standing proudly upon a noble enii&
nence, of its sumptuos furnishing, or
of ita peerless cuisine or sevice. The
*. fame of the house is world-wide.
Biltmore. This place is some two
Aahevilie, and partakes of
I to scenery, climate and general attractions.
Bat tie place takes its name
from the imperial chateau of Mr. Gorge
W. Vanderbilt, the most magnificent
palace a America -a veritable rival of
the roval abodes of the Old W or Id. The
spfendid, gardens and the great farm
adjaoentlo the castle at BOtmore are
worthy of a journey of miles to see. At
Biltmore i sa palatial hotel, entirely in
keeping with the plaoe, known as the
Kenilworth Inn, an ideal place of abode,
and the resort of the best people of tho
land. The equipment, cuisine and service
of this bow famous house are
equal to the best high-class city hotels,
and no effort is spared to maintain the
standard of excellence in every respect
Hot Springs. Situated in a charming
plain in the midst of a vast wilderness
?not far from Asheville?and surzonnded
by the most beautiful peaks,
ia the httle city of Hot Springs. There
is the Mountain Park Hotel, a charming
home for the health or pleasure
?? seeker, and a most excellent sanitarium
where the waters of the wonderful thermal
springs are administered with the A
moet excellent results.
i. The route is via the Southern B&ilWay,
with splendidly arranged and
p t magnificently appointed through car
?. service. Pullman Drawing room sleepv
. jng oars between New York, Washing 'j'*:
ton and Nashville?where the Tennes**
See Centenial Exposition is now in
% progress?through the "Land of the
Sty"?Knoxville and Chattanooga?
S,\ Iiookout Mountain, the scene of the
*<Battle Above the Clouds." The NorA?llr
--./t T.imifjLrl rloilv
between Norfolk, Kaleigb, Durham,
r';. Greensboro. Salisbury (with counec'aon
from New York, Washington and
f Virginia) and Nashville, through Asheville,
Hot Springs, Knoxville and
\J Chattanooga. This train carries Pull^
man's finest Drawing-room Buffet
it sleeping cars between Norfolk and
Kj\ Nashville, and elegant vestibnled day
p coaches between Norfolk and Chatttanooga.
Pullman drawing-room sleeping
5 ears are also operated between Jacksonville
and Cincinnati through Savannah,
Columbia, Spartanburg,
Asheville, Knoxville and Harriman
Junction.
r.J Visitors to the Tennessee Centennial
I ' Exposition at Nashville will find a vDit
to Asheville or vicinity most delightfnl
and valuable. The Southern ltailway
now has in press its annual ' SumS?
mer Home and Resorts" folder, containing
a full list of the many delightful
resorts, hotels and summer homes
on its line, which will be mailed bv the
General Passenger Agent or representatives
oi\ Passenger Department to
any address upon receipt of postage?
tow cents.
The Komans," said the teaelier,
were good at bridge building." "I
bould say they were," murmured the
bad boy on the back Beat. "Look at
her noseP'?Washington Times.
'
mm
'
Cannibal king?You haven't succeeded
in fattening the captive? The chief j
cook?He's losing flesh all the time. I I
think he's worrying about something. I
?Puck.
*
S\
!h \ . ' -. .
? ' ?v
Bill MP'S III LETTt#.'
CYCLES A>D CYCLISTS THE SUBJECTS
OF SOLILOQUY.
m
AN ENJOYABLE TRIP TO CAROLINA.
The Philosopher Makes a Swift Jotirney
Homeward to Be Present at His Helpmeets's
Birthday.
The bicycle has come to stay?at
least until there is something better, j
Prejudice is passing away. I confess
that I hail it, but I am cautious now-adays
and made no fuss about it. Somehow
I don't favor things that I can't
do myself. I don't like to be left behind.
One of our school board refused
to vote for our superintendent.
"I believe he is the best man of all,"
he said, "but he rides a bicycle." I
Q:as in South Carolina last week and
found them everywhere. There were
eighty-seven registered in the town of i
Blackville aud nearly half of them
were used by girls and matrons.
It is a beautiful town, as level as a
floor and the streets look like they
have been fore planed and sand-!
papered. The light, sandy surface is
not much in the way of the wheels'
and the pretty girls wheel to school
And to the postoffice and the stores |
and go visiting and take their evening
excursions. They ride with grace and
modesty and nobody objects or is sur-1
prised. There is a first-class repair!
? it ...i i
biiup inert?, wueru cvcij uiuxvca v/j.
damaged part is mended and even
plating in silver and brass is done.
From this skilled mechanic I learned
that it cost a man about ?5 a year to
keep his wheel in order and cost a
woman about $1.50.
"You see," said he, "the young men
take more risks and ride over the crossties
on the railroad track, but the
girls are more prudent and careful.
Oh, no, it does not cost one-tenth as
much to keep a -wheel in order as it
does to feed a horse. With careful
ausgee a good wheel ought to last ten
years, but the improvements come so
quick and fast that the old style soon
becomes a second-hand and is sold for
half price and a new one bought.
Like the sewing machines, the price
will soon come down as the patents
run out and then a good wheel can be
bought for $30 or $40."
My next stop was at Bamberg, a live
town on the South "Jarolma road, ana
the first thing that greeted me was a
bicycle dress parade and then a tournament.
Riders and wheels were all
decorated. Some of the men were in
fantastic array; the wheels were
adorned with gay colors of ribbon and
fancy paper. The company was forty
strong and had its officers, who gave
command, "Right wheel, forward
roll, evolute, speed well, round the
bend, wheels ahoy, slow up, dismount,
salnte your queen," etc.
There were some young ladies
in the procession and some men in female
garb, but it took no Solcmon to
divine their sex. Bamberg is an old
town made over, renewed and invigorated
by the wheels and spindles and
looms that hum day and night in a
large cotton mill near by. This mill
has brought good schools and artesian
wells and new hotels and churches
and many beautiful new residences.
A cotton mill does as much or more
for a town as a pension agency. The
latter pours free money into a community,
and free money goes as easy as it
comes, but a mill distributes money
that is earned. I saw more mills at
Orangeburg and that city is on a
if iii u
Doom, -uore mm? are ueiug uunv?
built from the dividends of the first
mills. The town is stretching out and
putting on city aii's. I wish it would .
stretch to that Coast Line depot, for
it is an awful long mile for a man of
my age to walk and carry a valise. I
was told that a hack would come
for me at half past 5 o'clock,
but as it did not come, I
walked for fear of being left. It wa3
a little after daybreak by that eastern
time and I had hardly got rested in
the depot before the street car came
rolling down without a passenger.
What an idiot I was, but nobody told
me how to do and I wouldent have
been left for $10. But just think.of
it, I left at 6 o'clock and reached Atlanta
at 12 o'clock?261 miles in six
hours, 43 miles an hour, including
stoppages. This was the fastest traveling
1 ever did in my life. I visited
another town that is just taking on its
second growth. St. George is a lovely
little village that has recently been
made a county seat and the people are
proud, very proud. They are preparing
to build a courthouse and expect
that factories and street cars and waterworks
and gas lights will soon follow.
"But right now," said my friend,
"we have a town full of the prettiest
girls in the state." Yes. His wife is
in Europe and every girl looks sweet
to him. I learned that the town was
named for a clever old settler by the
name of George, but how he came to
be canonized into a saint I did not
learn. I met a Howell there?a cousin
of Evan. He is editor, postmaster and
general factotum and a rebel to the
core. Our own D. B. Freeman of
Cartersville,another editor, has proved
his" claim to the youngest soldier of
the confederacy, but Howell pushes
him very close, for he ran away when
he was fifteen years old amf fought at
Vicksburg and Chiekamauga and then
got into a hospital at Rome and Dr.
Miller took pity on the beardless sick
boy and cared for him two months at
his own home aud then sent him home
to hie mother.
But Barnwell, old time-honored
Barnwell, quiet, peaceful Barnwell,
i
? ,
gave me the most royal wel-1
come. Those good people are not J
in a hurry about anything except once
a year, and that is on the race track.
They trot around that and talk politics
and discuss Tillmanism and "the disj
pensary on the way. What fine old
I gentlemen I met. A riper scholar than
' Colonel Simons, a son of William Gilmer
Simons, can hardly be found. A
handsome man and a pleasant and
earnest talker. Then there was exGovernor
Haygood?(General Haygood,
the hero of Petersburg. His
solid, massive, benevolent face made
an impression on me that will endure
as long as I endure. But who would
j have thought of finding there a brother
I of Mrs. Lincoln?Dr. Todd, a leading
_1 1 _ j
I JJIljniCIBIl Uim KUI'gCUU, U ll louil IU 11-10
south, a life-long Democrat. He has
domiciled there ever since the war and
commands the respect of that people.
I knew his younger brother, who wan
an unterrified rebel and was an aidede-camp
on Joe Johnston's staff. Is it
not singular that all of Mrs. Lincoln's
kindred were loyal to the south during
the struggle? I remember that one of j
her nieces presented a flag to the Seluiii
Guards when they started to Yir- j
ginia. I wonder if Mrs. Lincoln's kin- j
dred were all traitors and guilty of
treason.
Hut I am home again and happy?
not that I was unhappy while away,
but a feeling of rest and repose comes
over me here that I cannot find abroad.
I would never leave home if there was
j not a pressure of necessity, and I
j count the days and the hours when I
| shall return.
There has been another birthday in
the family and I was bound to be here.
I My wife, Mrs. Arp, shall not close her
I sixtv-fifth year without my presence.
It is is all over now?the morning kiss
ami a ten-dollar bill slipped under the
breakfast plate was the best I could do,
and I don't know yet which was most
appreciated. She will spend that
money on some of the children or
1 grandchildren. Strange to tell, but it
I is true, one of our neighbors has the
same birthday and is the same age
and invited my wife to dine. Of
course she accepted and found there a
goodly company of matrons. There
were nine of them and they were
over COO years old. Xo, I don't
mem that; I mean that the sum of
their several ages was COO. Some of
their ages had to be guessed at, for
they were widows. They talked principally
about ante-bellum days and the
times "when niggers was" and about
the falling * of the stars and when
matches and steel pens and cooking
stoves and kerossne oil first came and
about the old high swung carriages
their fathers owned and how the steps
folded up in the door and were let
down li^e a staircase and a little nig
stood up behind and a big nig set up
before on a dickey and was proud of
belonging to "quality folks." Then
one of the most ancient of these matrons
said that kind of riding was all
TMrriit on/1 lft/lvlib?. but as for her. she
never intended to ride a bicycle, no indeed?not
unless they invent a side
saddlf arrangement, said another.
It was a goodly company and no
rude man need apply. They discussed
no gossip and had kind words for,
everybody and closed the happy communion
with prayer?a good, humble,
grateful prayer by one of their number.
My wife says it was a day to be remembered
and she has invited them
all to meet at our house on her next
birthday and spend another centennial.
Amen and amen, say I, and may tho
good Lord take none of them away.?
Bum Arp in Atlanta Constitution.
THE SAVORY ONION.
The Somewhat Despised VeKctable Is
Useful and Wholesome.
Few realize that perhaps the most
useful of all vegetables, to the cook as
well as the housewife, Is the savor?
and healing onion. Soups, sauces,
chowders, made-over-dishes, in fact almost
every meat or fish dish that is
served," is seasoned with a few drops
of onion juice, and one would wonder
what was wrong if this Juice was omitted.
History classes the onion amoug
the oldest vegetables known, and it is
spoken of with deference. The onion
was amoug the things the Israelites
longed for while in bondage, and a
tourist traveling through the eastern
countries writes that it is not to be
wondered at, as the onions grown in
Egypt are most delicious. A celebrated
medical authority says:
Onions make a nerve tonic not to he
despised. No other vegetable will so
quickly relieve and tone up a wornout
system, and they should be eaten
freely, particularly by brain workers
and tlidse suffering with blood and
nervous diseases." He further says:
"Nothing will clear and beautify a poor
complexion sooner than the eating of
onions in some form."
If cniOllS are prepareu properly mere
lb little or 110 odor from tlieui left in
the breath, and for lovers of uncooked
sliced onions it is well to know that if
a sprig of parsley is dipped in vinegar
and eaten no unpleasant odor in the
breath can be detected. With so much
to recommend it the onion in some form
shou'd be found frequently upon the
daily monn.
Onions should be cooked always In
agate or porcelain lined vessels, for
; Ironware Is liable to make them darkcolored.
If the onions are held under
water while peeling there will be no
shading of tears. To extract the juice
'.rom t:n onion, cut a thick slice from
o.?e r-rd of the vegetable and press the
cut surface against the coarse grater,
moving the onion a little and letting
the juice run from the corner of the
rrater. Cut off another slice of the
onion and repeat until you have the
desired quantity.
Every sleeping car conductor wants
a law adopted compelling the porter to
divide,
I
immmrm
FIELDS OE ADVENTURE.
THRILLINC INCIDEiNTS AND DARING
_ DE'.EDS ON LAND AND SEA. . _
A Stage Carpenter'* Presence of Mind
Avert* a Probable Tragedy?Two Men's
Fierce Fight "With a Couple of Sharks
in Florida Water*?Saved by a Dog.
"In time of an emergency,'' remarked
an elderly man in a group of
talkers, "I would rather have presence
of min 1 than a gun."
"I fancy the gnn might do more
harm than good if there were 110 presence
of mind with it," admitted another.
"Which reminds me of a story corroborating
the wisdom of the first
statement," said a third, who on an appeal
from the others continued,
"Something like ten or a dozen years
ago," he said, "I was in a Western
town of ten thousand people or so, aud
it happened that a *how was billed for
that nijht. Having nothing to do, and
not knowing anybody in town, I took
in the show. It was a barnstorming
troupe of Thespi m s doing a repertoire
of blood-and-thu:iders, and the consequence
was they had nearly a fill!
house. Everything went along very
nicely excejd the peculiar action- of the
leading man, who seemed to be drunk,
or getting that way very fast.
"As no effort was made by the management
to supress him, the audience
after a while took a hand and began to
hiss. This brought matters to a climax
at once, and with an oath the actor
stepped to the center of the stage, and
whipping out of his clothes a pair of
revolvers, he announced to the audience
and the people on the stage in the
calmest and coolest manner possible
that the time had ccme when somebody
had got to die, but that he -ah- not yet
decider who it should be. Somebody
' * "i -A xi ; i? L f- - - - JI Ai- _XT- ^
siarieci ni rnis, oat ae nam xaai aie
first person who rose to go out would
be shot. Everybody in the house
seemed to be paralyzed by the man's
coolness and nobody moved. I know
I sat w^ll down toward the front, and
would have given up my place willingly
to anybody who asked for it, but
when I looked up a: that cold face and
those two guns poirting down my way
I preferred to take chances on remaining
as I was.
"For at least a minute the actor
addressed himself to his trembling
audience, and then deliberately selecting
a conspicuously white-haired
man in the very center of the house,he
commanded him to rise and be shot.
Otherwise he wohld shoot promiscuously
into the crowd. At this point in
the proceedings, I am willing to state
without bias that I never was in the
midst of so much suppressed excitement.
For a second the house was as
still as death, and then as the whitehaired
began to twist about as if he
were going to obey the actor's command,
a woman shrieked, and as a half
dozen followed suit and fainted the
actor suddenly disappeared from the
stage, nobody knew where, but he was
gone and the panic was averted, though
everybody made a break to get out as
fast as possible.
"The curtain went down quick then,
and the manager, white and scared,
came out and announced that the actor
had gone crazy over the loss of his
wife, and that thanks to the presence
of mind of the stage carpenter, that
gentleman had hurried under the stage
and pulled the trap on which, fortunately,
the crazy man stood. The fall
had rendered him helpless, and he was
then waiting at the stage door to be
taken away by the authorities..
"Which proves what I said in the
first place," said the elderly man with
an air of pride, and the proof was accepted.?Washington
Star.
A Fierce Fljjht With Shark*.
Sharks are unusually plentiful and
daring among the reefs and keys of
Florida this season. The spongers and
wreckers have great trouble in consequence,
for their business compels
them to do more or less work beneath
the surface.
Two wreckers were out in a small
boat sounding for a Spanish schooner
that had foundered on the reefs of
coral atoll near Key West, and while
resting in their work they saw a pilot
fish approaching them followed by two
sharks. The water was calm and still
and the big blue fins could plainly be
seen catting the water. Almost in a
moment the foremost shark discovered
them, and, coming with a rush, struck
the boat with snch force as nearly to
capsize it. The other fellow shot forward
in a similar manner; but, glancing
to one side, caught in its huge
mouth the blade of or e of the weighted
oars, and ground off a large piece as if
the tough wood had been so much
cork. This it swallowed almost instantly;
then describing a long, graceful
curve in the water it turned about,
and once more came charging down
upon the boat. The men stood ready
to receive the second shock, and" the
brute rushing with the velocity of an
arrow sprang clear above the surface,
nroieetinsr its iaws over the end of the
A V
boat, which was ^drawn down and
swamped.
Having neither load nor ballast, the >
light craft did not sink, but easily sup- |
ported the weight of :he two men, who
nevertheless fully realized the perilous
position in which they were
placed. One of the wreckers, thro wring
his left arm arcund the mast to
steady himself, struck outward and
downward with the boat's ax with all
his force. The blow fell fair upon Ihe
snout of the shark that had caused the
boat to swamp and penetrated the flesh
to the depth of several inches and laid
it open to the bone. Meanwhile the
other wrecker had a 1 he could do to
stand off the other shark. Striking out
with a heavy handspike, he thrust the
end of the implement between the javrs
of the monster just as it rushed at him
with wide-open mouth. The shark
promptly* seized the handspike in its
i.. " r?i
powerful grip, tore it from the man'a i
hands, and, rushing off through the j
weter, ground the timber into frag- [
ments and swallowed them.
Shark No. 1 was now rolling about !
on the surface a short distance a*ray,
apparently in great distress; and it-s
mate, passing in that direction and
scenting the blood, immediately
pounced upon the wounded creature
and tried to make a short job of it.
But the wounded fish was not a dead
shark by any means. There Avas an
exciting scrap from the start. The
sharks fought all over the waves, lashing
and churning the water into foam,
and gradually receding from the boat.
There came at last a great splashing
and a tremendous upheaval of water,
and then both combatants disappeared
from flight. The two men were rescued
a short time later by one of the
many sail-boats that are constantly
darting n and out of the keys.?New
York San.
Saved at Sea by a Dojj.
The ship's company of the little
French fishing brigantine Marie
arrived at Hoboken, N. J., one night
recently on the North German Lloyd
steamship Muenchen. The Marie
sailed from Granville for the Banks
on March 24, with twenty-three fishermen
under Captain Berri, the owner,
or patron, of the little craft, Jean
Dupau, and a big Newfoundland dog
called "Noir," which in plain Yankee
means "black." The dog is pureblooded
and was born almost within
sight of the Banks.
The Marie ran into a good deal of
rough weather when about in mid
ocean, and sprung aieaK. A neavy
gale swooped down on her on April
J 5 aud whipped out her foremast
close to the top of the forward house.
There were ten dories on the dockhouse,
and four of these were carried
away by the seas that swept athwart
her.
The brigantine ^hen feil into the
trough of the sea. Her nimble seamen
chopped away the wreckage and
got her head to the seas by using the
main boom as a jury foremast and
bending on to it a storm trysail. The
storm subsided, but left a long swell,
which after three days started the
vessel's seams so that her pumps were
unable to keep her free.
The Newfoundland was the only
creature aboard that did not take any
rest. He ran about the decks day and
night, and barked with almost as
much energy as the whistle of a steam-v
_
SLlip ill lunucoa.
The brigantine's decks were flush
with the seas, when, on April 21, the
Muenche" hove in night. The day
before a British steamship passed far
to the southwest of the brigantine,
but did not notice keh The dog
howled as loud as he could, but the
Briton was too far away to hear.
The moment the Captain of the
Muenchen saw the flare light on the
brigantine's decks he ordered two
boats manned and swung from the
davits to rescue the hapless fishermen.
They were not needed, as the Frenchmen
had already left their vessel in
their dories. One careless 6ailor fell
overboard while getting into a dory.
He might have drowned had it not
been for the big Newfoundland, which
leaped into the sea and grabbed the
fisherman by the blouse, holding him
up until his shipmates came alongside
him and hauled him aboard.
She Rode a Wild Steer.
Miss Edgewood, of Le Kaysville,
Penn., is an intrepid horsewoman, and
likes nothing better than riding a fiery
mustang over the hills and down the
ravines. The other day, however, she
became tired of this wild sport of
wrestling with a bucking broncho and
rode a wild steer by way of variety.
In company with a number of cattlemen
she had been chasing a steer that
was particularly wild and fleet-footed.
The young lady laughed at the men,
who seemed afraid of the animal, and
smilingly challenged them to throw a
rope over the animal's head and ride
him. They declined with thanks. She
then lassoed the animal herself, aud,
running up to it, deftly tied a rope
around its head and neck, and then
told the men to let him loose.
This they did reluctantly, and the
enraged steer was quieklyon his feet,
but equally as quick the girl was on
his back. Then began a ride that
bent old Panl Revere's by some seconds.
For half an hour it was continned?over
hill and dale, through
brush and gorges?the girl always
hanging.on like a burr. Finally the
steer completely gave out, and the girl
led him to her home in triumph.
A Man Attacked by Froj;*.
For some time Elmer Cantor, of
Union, N. Y., has noticed a peculiar
taste to the water in his well, and one
day recently he determined to clean it.
William Forbes was engaged to pump
it out, and after draining off as much
water as possible he descended into
the well. Suddenly Cantor heard a
loud commotion in the water and a
muffled cry for help. He thought the
man had been overcome by gas and
hurried down to find a squirming mass
on the water, with which Forbes was
battling. On projecting stones above
his head and in the water around
him were thousands of frogs. Some
were monstrous fellows, an 1 it
+Vi oxr Via/I a
neexiieu, tuuujju ?***?< j **?v* ;..a?v ??
preconcerted attack.
They were leaping upon his head
and shoulders from all directions, and
Ire was covered with a slime that gave
forth a sickening odor. It was with
some difficulty that he was rescued
from his perilous position, and had he
remained in the water a short time
longer he would have sunk helpless
to the bottom. It is supposed the
frogs reached the well from a pond
by means of an underground channel.
The cost of producing tea in India,
as based upon the operation of forty
companies, is fifteen cents a pound.
"orR BUDGET OF HUMO?
'1
LAUCHTER-PROVOKINC STORIES FOR V'
LOVERS OF FUN.
?*?
A Bit of Criticism ? Amnsin;?Woman'l A i.
Mysterious Guide?A Great Bore? Hi# rr-J- 1
Line?lime riueu i p-Mmuar symptorn*?Couldn't
Believe It, Etc., Etc# ^ fe
The rainbow's wholly out of date,
As modern art it <mnnot serve; ' J
Its colors are put on too straight,
And, see, it only has one curve.
?Chicago Record.
Couldn't Believe It.
Nodd?"Yes, old man, this is the
same dress-suit I was married in."
Todd?"Great Scott! have you been
married as long as that?"
Amusing. "~J"
"What are yon laughing at?"
"I just heard the meanest man in J
town telling how blamed mean the .
next meanest is."?Truth.
"Woman's Mysterious Guide.
Murray?"Women are guided by '
instinct rather than by reason."
Kill?"I guess you are right. Whatever
it is it is past the power of man." -jKlj
His Line. f
Cast A. Way?"Yes, madam, I've
i 1: _:i r?_ ' v.*&
ue?H u simciiur lor ui^u owcuiij tnuo, fTg
Mrs. Farmkins-I-"A solicitor?"
Cast A. Way?"Yes'm. I solicits
bread an' meat. - x /d'ajfl
- Sure Indication.
"now do you kuow^th.it stranger is J
from Brooklyn?"
"He registered at the hotel as from "
Greater New York."?Philadelphia 4
North American.
Time Filled Up.
Barclay?"That fellow Yokes does- ' \j
n't know anything."
Vesey?"Well, he hasn't time to
learn. He spends all his time reading .
the Sunday papers."?Truth.
Similar Symptoms.
Attorney?"Are you a married . a
Humble Witness?"No; I was hurt 'SB
in a sawmill last week?that's what <
makes me look so bad."?Pack.
A Great Bore.
Little Boreham (relating his Alpine A
adventures)?"There I stood, the terrible
abyss yawning at my feet?"
The Brute Brown?"Was it yawning "ij
when you got there, or did it start Ma
after you arrived?"
Deceitfully Advertised.
"Bobby cried dreadfully when we - jj
got out in the country."
"What was the matter with him?" ' jG
"He said the wild flowers weren't as Jajfc,
thick as they were in the pictures."?
Chicago Record.
Reap the Benefit.
Crummer?' 'Poor Anderson is under
a cloud." c
Gilleland?"But every cloud has a
silver lining." ;
Crummer?"True, but the lawyers
will get it in this case."
It Depend*. ~
She?"Oh, bother this wind and
He?"They say a speck of dust is >'if
worth a king's ransom."
She?"Not when it's in your eye." fGajK
He?"It all depends who's eye it's
Waiting for Nature's Aid. W
"Why don't you ever clean the ^
streets of this town?" asked a visitor
of a native of Nebraska.
''Oh, a cyclone will come along one "Jj
of these days and do it for us," was ,'$
the contented reply. ?Pittsburg Chronicle-Telegraph.
J9
Encouraging. >
Caller?"Boss in?" j)
Office Boy?"Nope."
Caller?"When's the best time to
see him?"
0. B.?"When he's in good humor." .$ /* *
Caller?"When's that?"
O. B.?"Never."
Caller?"Good-day." "
O. B.?"Good-day."?New York
Journal.
A .Sympathetic Judge.
"I make whisky," said the moonshiner,
"to make shoes for my little
children!"
The Judge seemed touched, for he - -v?
had children of his own. "I sympa-.
thize with you," ho said, "and I am
going to send you to tho Ohio Penitentiary
where you can follow the shoe V V?
business for two years!"?Atlanta Constitution.
A Fortunate Time.
Mr. Dodson?"Quick Mary, get
your things on; we will go over and
call on the Hobsons."!
Mrs. Dodson?"0 John! you know >
well enough how I detest calling on v 1
these neoDle." 'v'H
Mr. Dodson?"Yes, I know! That ' '.*S|
is the reason I want yon to go now. I
jnst saw Mr. and Mrs. Hobson leave *
their house and go down the street."
?Puck.
Heart' on the Right Side.
In a hospital at Florence, Italy, & rj
patient was submitted to the X rays, rq
when, to the as tonishment of the operators,
it was discovered that his heart , <
was on the right side instead of the
left. This did not appear to trouble
the patient in any way. It may be remembered
that Picchianti, the noted
scientist, also had his heart on the
right side, and that he died at sixtyfour
years of age without ever having
been seriously ill. .
85000 a Week for Board. * ,
Queen Victoria paid $5000 a week for , ^
the west wing of the Hotel Begina at *
Cimiez, The wing contains 150 rooms,
which were occupied by Her Majesty
and suite. It was engaged for four
weeks, with the understanding that
should she desire to pAlong her stay