Wit and Humor. ?Business troubles, especially the luzy. -?An Ohio editor has been lined 1 cent for calling a man a "scala wag. ?Newspapers, religion and milk tickets ought to he paid for in ad vance. ?The beauty of a man's parting bis bair in the middle appears to be that it, gives both ears an equal chance to Hip. ?"Does your wile play eucbtc?" paid one. "No," replied the other, rubbing bis bead, "but sbe4s death on poker." ?This is the season of the year when venerable bens enter their sec ond childhood, and are broiled for spring chickens. ?One good lie, well stuck to is worth a dozen mean, little vacillating prevarications. If you must lie be manly about it. ?A priest asked of a condemned prisoner in a Paris jail: "What kind of a conscience have you?" It is good as new," replied the prisoner, '?for 1 have never used it." ?Where a woman," says Mrs. Fartinglon, " has been married with a congealing heart, and one that beats deaponding to her own, she will nevor want to enter the mari i.nc state again." ?It is saiil that there is one cow for every four persons iu this coun try, and if the wells and springs were to fail some of us would be put on short-allowance of milk and cream, ?A life insurance policy is of no use to a man what does not intend to die before the company fails. It is something like a glory which comes to a military corpse on Ihc field of battle ?We had heard so much lalk about Ibis self raising Hour that wc bought a barrel of it the other day, und yet, when the bill cams in, wc had to go and raise the amount oiu self. There are all kinds of swind lers nowadays, ?The papers arc constantly telling us how to live on ?2 a week. It is undoubtedly a very difficult problem, but by no means the most dilllcult. The world would bo far wiser and happier if some brilliant genius would only tell us how to get the ?2, ?There :s a man in Nevada who has never been shot at. His experi ence is limited to being stabbed twice, buried in an avalanche, and kicked into a mine-shaft by a nude. His neighbors say he'll sec something of li e if he stays in Nevada lone enough. ?There are a great many people in the world who are bound by the close ties of blood ?.o the man who said that he had laid up two shillings, one for himself and one for the Lord, but that the one ho bad intended for the Lord had been losst in an unfortu nate speculation. ? If there is any one thing that in jures a young lady's chances in Hold ing with the matrimonial current, il is her inquisitive young brother, who knows just enough to be at home ev ery time her lover calls, and plies his questions with that, promptitude and vigor that would win great credit for a lawyer in a cross examination. A noted Texas lawyer who bad lately bccomc^Misanc, stood up in church ami asked a young lady to come forward and marry him. The! young lady was so surprised and I t> hocked that .she fainted. This is be lieved to be the Ii ist instance on re-' cord whore a man has escaped matri mony through the temponry weakness of the other side. ?The Toronto corset makers are on a strike, their employers have pul let! the strings too light for them and the girls won't be solaced, but have instituted a slay of proceedings, de claring they won't waist their time ; Mtind of corsets too much to expect that they will bone down to work without proper pay. Hip! Hip! hurrah ! for the girls. TliK youthful nsc-hudish looking! editor of the Mndisonian blushed clear back behind his auricles the other evening, because a gentleman | friend rein a iked in the presence of j Home ladies, in speaking of the weath er that the wind had shifted. Such an innate set s \ of delicacy of fooling | is randy found in the profession which be so ably illustrates. ? 1 ho bridegroom was not present! ntthe lime appointed for a wedding at Hcrmony, Gn. The bride, who knew hi* bash fulness, said bis courage had probably failed him. Somebody sug gested that a honv be blown to call him, and this was done. A respon sive whoop was heard from the woods near by but the youhg man did not appear until a scouting pat ty brought him In by force. It was not until he became foarful of losing the girl, whoso patience, gave way to anger, that be mustered courage to face the ceremony Hosiery I Hosiery ! Hosiery I f>0 DOZEN Sadie's White Hose, Including 25 Dozen Seamless, nil of ft very Hoc quality, to be closed out within the next thirty days B(3gardless or Cost. ALSO TWENTY DOZKN SOLID COLORED II O S E, Superior quality ut 20 cents a pair, worth 35 and 10 cents, I'.efore going elsewhere, purchasers will tind it to their advantage to examine the above article at J. I. SORENTBUE Where can also bo seen the best, cheapest and largest stock u? Lamps and Illuminators in the town of Oradgcbnrg, HENEY KOHN closing out .BALANCE of WINTERw < K S DRY GOODS g o 5 o 2 8 CLOTHING 2 o 0 a S Sand all heavy goods.* ^ . , > M Nmwitstuiiuing the steady advance of all goods the remnant of winter goods J> H must be sold to make room for m fV s pein g goods. NOW IS YOUR TIME FOB BARGAINS. PI IE IST LI Y KO I I 1ST Aju;ont iov UTJTTETilCIC'S PATTERNS, AVlatc Sewing Miachies, ERO JP a ii c y J3 a k e i* 9 AND At Caj)tajn IIIigginan's Old Stand. TS still keeping the linc?t lot of Candies, Don Hons French and American Mixtures JL Cukes, Ormimcnted or made to order. Fresh llaisins, Currants, Citron, Figs, Sweetmeats anil Canned Goods of every description. Dealer in Fruits and Produce. A largc'ssortment of CIGARS, TOBACCOS, PI PICS And Smokers' articles of all description. A call I? SOllctitcd. Orders promptly attended to?Goods delivered in any part of the city, JOSEPH EROS, Orangehurg. S. C, Sept. 20 tf P. G. C A N N 0 N, Grin l arid 1 ji >ck?-u 11 i i ] i, and dealer in Grunts- J?i.stolff and Genoml ] iMi'dwavc. ORANGEM! KG, S. C. 7"EEPS conetnntly on hand a full and complete Block of Gnus nn<1 Pistol* ol AY. every description. Pocket Knives. Table Knives mill Kork?. Spoons. Scissors, and In fact almost anything hi/be IJnrdwiire line. I make a specially of Carpen ters' Tool*. Fanning Implement?, Cooking Utensils, Fishing Tackle, Sportsniens" Goods. Biieli as Shot, Powder, Gun wads, uic., etc., also THE LIGHT RUNNING REMINGTON SEWING MACHINE, The bestand cheapest Machine manufactured. The public arc cordially Invited to examine my stock before purchasing as I tun determined not to bo undersold. Repairing of all kinds done with neatness ami dipateb. 1'. G. CANNON. Orangebiirg, S. C, Jan, :iu. 1.SS0?ly F11E S II A R II I V A L S OF AT 9 i. nmt c&mm> MY STOCK COMPRISES 33vy Groocls and Ghracex?ies IN GREAT VAR1ETV. TlMJ Dry Goods embrace Ladies and Metis Dress Good', While ami Colored Cotton Goods, Prints, Men's and Roys' Clothing, Hats and Cap-, Boots and Slioes, To suit id I classes. Also full lines of GROCERIES AND TOBACCOS. And in fact everything to lie found in a Urst class store. Thanking the public for their generous patronage in the past, I respectfully solicit, a continuance of the same, promising to sell everything at I he lowset possi ble price. The highest market price paid for Cotton, Corn, Peas, Rice, &c. And all oilier Cotintrv Produce. A call si licitcd. No (rouble t<> show eood? Orangebiirg, S- ('., Mar 2S-tf JOHN C. PIKE, Corner Church and R?ssel! Street TJtie Improved Water Elevator and Purifier. Orangebiirg, S- C Ie yon would enjoj' good health you must use pure water. To the citizens ot Orangebiirg, Aikeu, Kdgciichl, Hampton, and Barnwell counties: Having purchased the exclusive right of said counties for tin; Improved Water Elevator ami Purifier, we oiler the same lor sale. This Elevator has no superior. It is simple, cheap and durable, having no wooden tubing to decay and pollute the water. No iron tubing to rust or corrode. No Hanges or valves to wear out or to get out, of order. Requires no attachment below the platform and will last Tl 'FIMICjS as long us any pump. Will make bad water good, and good water better. A thorough investigation is all that is necessary to convince you ol its merits. March 14-6iU SAIN, MERONEY & CO, I!! 111! 1 ! ! ! I ! ! ! I !!! I ! : 1 3 I ! ! ! 1 ! ! A DVERTISE a large and varied stock of Goods, consisting in part of Sugar. Tea, Soap. Tinware. Lemons. Butter Nuts, Collet;, Spice, Sapolio. Stone ware, Oranges Cocoa Nuts, bacon, Ginger, Washing Soda, Glassware, Apples, Pecans. Flour, Pepper, Lye. Crockery ware. Cabbages, Almonds, Lard, Nutmegs, Potash, Wooden wan;, Confectionery, Currants, Hams, Copperas, Starch, Sitters, Candy, * Prunes. In fact the larges* ami best variety of Fancy anil Staple? Groceries kept in Orange burg, at prices Ten to Twenty percent less than any house in town. I mean just what I say, I'll seL for less than any one, Or give inj" goods away. A. B. WALKER, Orangebiirg, AptII 4, 1S7'.?. Leader of Low Prices. NEW STORE NEW STORE IX THE TOWN OF ?51" * m ?\ V t Hi S: WV S; ? -0 T\ A. SAIN NOT1FES THE CITIZENS OF ST. MATTHEWS. AND THE JL/* public generally that In the old stand of Clark's, near the Depot, will be found a choice and rare selection of Dry Goods, Groceries, Tobaccos and Scjjars. Liquors "both Foreign and Domestic, nardware, Syc, And solicits a share of trade. Mr. J. PHIL. SAIN, who is in charge of the slore will be glad to greet any all of his old customers, and new ones too, to whom he guarantees bargains us good as can he had in Charleston. Highest market price; paid lor all kinds of country produce* ?? mm* St. Matthews, September (5,1870. e SEWER IM NEW WILSON Sating Shuttle SEWmS MACHINE Co wondorful In Its conception, un? precodontcd for doing a largo range of sowing In textile rubrics and leather. Its motions are continuous, admitting of tn extraordinary rato of spoed, olthor by steam or foot power. Every motion of tho xrondlo makes six stitches, thus produc ^\ ?"S about crio-thlrd more work In a day than othor Gevving Machines. It has no ?top n.ctions, and tightens the stitch with tho noocilo out of tho fabric. It uses the well-known Wilson Ccmpound Foot! on both sides of the needle. It has two-thirds loss pruts than any othei flrat-class Sowing Machine, Its arm Is fully eight and one-half inches long and five and one-half Inchos high, and thu whole Machine is vory compactly and solon tlflcatly conetrtrctod in proportions, eloganco, design and appear*1 anco. Its slmplo, powerful ;*.nd porfoct mechanism places it as far in advanco of all ether Sowing Machines as tho telephone is superior to tho tin Bponkin;; tube. Ths WILSON WSFIMDING ATTACHMENT, for repairing all kinds d textile fabrics WITHOUT PATCHING, fur* nishod FREE with all WIL&GM SKVJtKO W. ACHTES, together with n TucXor. Ru?.o-. Cor,;,,, Sc. o* B.nd.r. o.e. Tlicse Machines arc on exhibition and for sale by THEODORE KOI I N, AGENT FOR Orangeburg County. Ornnjjebttrg, H. C, Nov. Tili, 1S79.?tf THE BEST REMEDY for Diseases of tie Throat ana Luhes, Diseases of tlio pulmonary organs an- so prevalent ant a kindred character bail been made In the Western metropolis, and misar ably failed. Tlio sea of jonma.VUm WM atrewo ?ltfi tho wrecks of strande 1 newspaper entorprlsea. Others that wer? living, but strug gling for a precarious existence, liavt! since yielded t.> Inevitable fa to and gono down, leaving Tun Lrj>ocs to-day the only we. lily story paper printed in Chicago, Tun l.xuucn has not attained tlio piano of success upon which it now solidly refits without earnest, well' dlrecti it effort. Its conductors have, labored earnestly and persistently not only (o make ft uu excelh at tit orarv journal, bat a'so to make tho g reading world acquainted wtUi it. Thousands upon Uiou?a>f dot lars havo been expended In bringing its merit a to Uie altculion of tho reading public, in fact,Tub Lsdoku has I, ?ii the mortt rxionslvoly>ail. vertiscd newspaper In tlio wept. Tin- publishers have n feeling of |iride ut tlu< success that hm. nt londed their cfYorts to build up a first class literary paper In the cap ital city of the West. The. circula tion, already large, in rapidly (Trow ing and l>y the 1-t "f January will be im? leas than 8a,000. Hie publishers do not mean t , relax ihoir efforts to make '1 uk f.ri>?n::i the best weekly newspaper ia the West, lint In'en I t > persevere in Iiis work,anddiirius thee.mau;: months 3 w;n still further increase its value e.::d usefulness. The weekly conti nts of Tuk l.l'im KB enibraco, in addition to its Final novels, several shortstoiios; a lioine and Family li.irtor departtr.cnt. cm bracing letters from womon of ot. periencc 1 beads nnd hau,is.on house* hold aud kitchen economy, homo adornment. Cm- management of children, and roclpos for Uie euro of many of tho ills lo which flesh is heir: a Young Polka'department; a department devoted to Current Lit erature, consisting ot choice excerpts from the latest magazines; a Scien tific department, giving the latest intelligence In regard to new discov eries, mechanical Inventions, etc.; also biographical sk? tchoa. historic pa] . travels, poetry, and a mass of short article-. 00 lulsci ligneous tOJllCH. Addrkss TUK L.TC1301CK, Chicneo, 111. Subscriptions to tho THE CHICAGO EiBDUEK will he received at tills ofllce. THE WHITE '! sewing Machine THE BEST OF AX.I** Unrivaled in Appearance, Unparalleled in Simplicity? Unsurpassed in Construction, [ Unprecedented in Popularity, And Undisputed in the Broad Claim OF ocina THE 3*f VERY BEST OPERATING . QUICKEST 8EEUNO, . HANDSOMEST, AND Most Perfect Sewing Machine IN THE WORLD, r. The grea t popularlly of iho Whllo Is the most con vincing tribute to its excellence and superiority over other machines, and in submitting It to the trade we put It upon its merits, and In no Instanco has It ever yet failed to satisfy any recommendation In Its favor. The demand for the Whlto has Increased to such an extent that wo aro now compelled to turn out Ccm^loto Birw'.Ti3uEcvrTi*iT>,? ovoiy t>.Tco mir^atcG la t-fcus &a.3r to BMppiy tho ?I Every machine is warranted for 3 years, and sold tor crsh at liberal discounts,or upon easy payments, to suit tho convenience ot customers. O5T?0E1TTS WAOTZD IH UltOCCtJPUD TSSSIT0S7. WHITE SEW/NO MACHINE CO.. . Ht 358 Euclid Ave.. Cleveland. Ohkv' For Sale by Henry Jvoh.ii. CALL CALL At the People's Bakery, ESTABLISHED IX 1S71, BY IHK PIIESENT PROPRIETOR \Ylio is .still ready and willing to IT 1LL ORDERS BREAD, ROLLS, PI ES AND . CAKES. of all description?. G U N a E E S by tlie barrel or box. ALSO BREAD FOR CAM1VMKETINGS, oil Any other meetings at short nolle*. TUST RECEIVED FRESH CONFEC O TIONARYS, FANCY GOObS AXD NOTIONS, Which will be sold as low as any that can be bought in Orangoburg. Thankful fur the past patronage of my friends and the public I still solicit a con tinuance of their custom. T. W. ALEERGOTTI, RUSSELL .STREET, Next door to Mr. J. P. Hurley. Orangebiirg. Sept 13, 1S7S ly I?. I" .FLEMING .1 AS. M. WILSON We arc now opening, direct; from I tic Manufacturers, a largo and new stock of Roots, Shoes, and Tr?nke, FOji KILL TRADE. Gi dors solicited and promptly fill . il. All goods with our brand war ranted. D, F, FLEMING & CO. WHOLESALE DEALEItS IN AND Trunks, >io 2 Ilaync street, Cor. of Church street , Charleston, 8. C.scp 27-3