Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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BUCKETS CIECUS. FAV&WiV NOSES AND HIS CANE TRAVEL WITH THE SHOW. TIN Naa-Eatl*g Jew-Crack an4 Ike Waa4erfaASIxLe)CKe4 Calf -Tke 4kw4 Miabtar’s Leetare. [FrtHfii Pemisylvauia Grit] Last week you left us in the hands of 'Bloody Bob, but you remember that we recdgfrfeed him to be an old WilHameporto- W iftHguise, and gave me all the money he had to bribe me eo’s I wonldn’t toll his old dad abont him being in the horse stealing busi ness. It was almost dark when Bob’s men brought Buck Lane back, and they were mad as thunder when they found that Bob wouldn’t let them bang ns, and they all mounted their horses and rode over towards Moab. without fu$r supper, telling Bob if he wanted to play baby he might go to bine tai) thunder, and they would set np for themselves and get a new lender. This mov'd lei$ Bloody Bob in a fix and Jie said .he wonld not ..top two cents worth to fix up and go with us. Then Ifrtpsy went to hork like a good and began to preach re- to Bob, telling him the Wedigsl son, and she had' heard of him weeping and aohUag Hite a locomotive at the depot a few minatos af ter running over and squeezing the custard out of a book agdht or a hall pup. He said he would willingly go home and feed pigs for his dad, but, ' alas! his father never raised pigs, and therefore wouldn’t be as ready to forgfae him as was the father of the original prodigal son. He said his fsthee Was* member of the Williams port connoil, and never raised any thing but objections and a little garden track, and his heart and head were constructed contrary to the mm} plan of nature—the one being •oft that shouldn’t be, and the other bdM hard that should he soft. He Ndfioe didn’t believe there was any thing ia the world that would soften I father's heart like raising pigs Would. And then lie began to 10b still hlKir Cbafi ever, and said he would quit horse stealing if the public woeld only 1st him do so. Buck Lane then took him in his armsaud hugged him like a doctor wOtMu ripe boil on tbs back of a slow paying patient, and said he was m to near horse thieves talk that Way. He said it was good for their MU science, as well as wholesome for their neck and liver and vertebra. Buck said it was a good sign when you saw ahorse witiracontrite heart and empty parse, that the business didn’t pA fie said it Was just so With an The prodigal sons he ever •aw. He said it was fun playing prodigal as long as the epondoolis laltea, but When it came right down to earning a living at prodigaling it WM all “prod” and no paling” abotit it) M the gals Went back on a fellow the mhMtaihsg discovered he was fifakdiy' Bloody Bob dried bis eyes on the tail of Ins horse and said he would go along with us back to CiviliMtioDj if we would accept his Compw^^Adwf accepted him out Of pure chanty, and that is how we cestn3orn ^ Pacific coast. • We wandered around inlMmbul9Nl*ft>r two weeks more, fw weTllgotlost again, and if it Betsey said all the time we were traretyajw.tef(Booh seuthward to ■trike California, because the sun always set on one side of us, when it •honld set right in froet of us; but Buck said mebby ■ Che sun dodged around to cue side, 50’s to miss some Of tbeBig islauds trhyngit set Jd«WO ih the Water on its Way around the globe. , - 1> 1 ” • jVi-ir 1 *' o Oho day we struclt dvitization, also a little teWti situated' bn a river, and WMA Wk asked'Whetfe We'Were'at, a ftdh 1 Teld tfS we were in Arizona.’' ttd have seen •tbe grttb ^n’W^ i ■ 'menu Wnd bill of fare— skes and ICtrfUw 1 ua 1 i't bloated wltb cash and 1 ft Q Y I BetMV said we men itoJhwtw around sod , for after our hotel .si output of the JoVhr $7, and tliere 1« ClttUs in town next day. I#l* he’d sell his horse >’d raiM seeing the circus, but Buck said we wonld work our r frin if we struck the proprietor a job before-the small boys #*M the claim. The circus posiln were brilliant in colors and phraseology and iu de scription of animals, known and nn- saeess Btad cuffs stiffened to attend "Sir Bucket's Great Eastern Shows— e, Zoological Garden, fod Wax Werks.” but Buck came back »patn » few minutes afterwards, and infui nutl us that the nigger who had been playing Jew-crack had run off, and the proprietor wanted to hire a man. to take his place. Bob said he’d accept the position, provided there wasn’t too much hanging up by the toes, or standing on his head or sword swallowing, but. we soon learned that, it was simply to dress up in an outfit made out of burrow skins and Texas steer-horns and represent a very ancient species of autideluvian animal called, by Bucket, the Jew-crak, a feiocious animal from the jungles of Hew Jersey. Well, good lands of spider-legs on the moon, the curious looking crea ture Bob made when begot that burro skin ou, with the hind legs stuffed with sawdust, and Bob a standing up in front legs and bead and neck, with a pair of big steer horns on his head, you’d just a died almost to look at him. And then he’d growl in regular stomach groans, and pull a string and make his tail wiggle, and he’d stamp bis front feet on the bottom of his cage and rub his horns against the bars and pretend he wanted to get out to eat somebody without maple syrup, and he did look real fierce to anybody that didn’t know the secret of a Jew-crak. “Now, says 1, “Mr. Bucket, if you nil Bticket and wor lomatic talk for 1 back be said I a job for himself feeding 1 was glad Betsey now bod ■ chance witch li9W the lays J bad a job tor me onr whole outfit would be heeled and on a fair way to get outof the wilderness, so to speak. “Well,” he says, “if you hain’t a job I can fix you out iu good shape. Our six-legged calf died up at Ogden and I got a taxadermist to doctor the hide, and if you’ll agree to bawl oc- '•osionally aud work ihe mechanism so's to make it wag its tail at the flies, and prance around and snort and play like a lamb in May, I’ll ! ;ive yon the contract to play calf as oug as you want a job.” “Well, 1 was hard up and out of work, and I couldn’t be choice iu the selection of situations, so I accepted the job, nut on the garb of a freak calf and played critter at the after noon performance. Professor Bucket put me in the tame cade with Bloody Bobj Hie Jew- crack, at wy retjhett, for'I wanted to be handy to somebody t knew in order to have some one to talk to while the Spectators were all out looking at the ring performance. Well, now it wasn’t such a hard job to play calf, after all. It just seemed natural to me, as though I had always been a calf. I could wag my artificial tail at an imaginary fly and bawl in tbe sad cadence so natural to ao orphan calf, while the bloody Jew-crack wonld stamp the floor of the cage aud growl at the small boy in a way that would make the hair raise on the head of a lion- tamer. Of course I felt a little cheap when they run us out into the side-show and we could hear the man at the tent-door shouting to the hairy Crowd! “Only half a dollar to see the greatest aggregation of living curi osities on the Western hemisphere! Pass right in, gentlemen and Judies, aud feast •your eyes on the blood curdling aud soul-chilling Jew-crack! “The greatest wonder of the 19th centuryl ('aught in the swamps of New Jersey by on army of hunters, after the monster had killed fifteen and wounded twenty-six others! The only horned creature known to science that eats human, flesh! “Also the six-legged calf. Porn in Scotland nine months ago! trained to dance and crack its heels together every time you poke it in the ribs with your umbrella! Puss right in, ladies and gentlemen, and see these living curiosities for the first and last time!” Well, good lands of misery on legs, the crowd did come in, and every old man that carried a cane and every old woman that could muster up courage enough would punch me iu the ribs to sen me dance and hear me bawl, and the Jew-crack would growl and stamp his feet at the crowd, but still they punched me Until my ribs were sore and T had danced myself out 'of breatb; hud if they hadn’t taken ns back into the big tent for the afternoon perfCrmanbo, I guess they Would have Jan ted me to death or'made nib break out in a beautiful Stream of profanity and cuss one gedtaid fed-beaded young man, who Ail the most punching, until the air became so foggy with profanity that they Would have been compelfled to light the lamps in the big tent. That’s tbe remark 1 made to Bob alias Jew-crack, at the time they wore hanling us into the 7 - tent. It Was much nicer in the oig tent among the Hons and elephants aud monkeys and African birds, for they did not dare punch us like they did in the side show, and it was fun to hear some of the remarks made abont tbe Jew-crack and calf. I’ll never forget how the learned minister and hie wife gased upon us, and the spirited remarks he made about ns, for bis Sunday-school class had come in a body to sec their first show, and the minister saw a good chance to tell the innocent children how much he didn’t know about animals and a few other things, and mebby, get bis salary raised. “The Jew-crack,” ho seid, as he placed his silk umbrella under one arm and began to mb his bands in that wise way some men have when they tackle a thing they know they are going to lie about-—“the Jew- crack is one of the most anlidelttvititi —oh—oueofthe nost ancient uni mals we have ai.y accounts of hi the old histories, 8 ;haddlewig, the Greek historian, speaks of them in his his- tory <yf Bugbuw, aii'l Svolleiriogle- bat, the Hindoo historian, tup they were once very numerous m the Ganges. He mentions an instant* where the Jew cracks devoured a whole Hindoo village, even ripping up the feather beds with their horns and going off to the forest with with pillow shams on their horns and shreds of woolen underclothes between their front teeth.” His wife wits looking np at him in awe and wonder, and flte Sunday- school class were as utitch surprised at their minister’s great learning, at they were at. Bob and 1, and we were to thoroughly and disgustingly amused that we frisked around aud swiped the iron rods in onr cage with our toils, and Bob growled and I bawled, but tbe great wise man continued: ‘•Tire Jew-crack and calf are both of ancient origin and are—ah—typi cal—that is, to say, closely connected with the history of the—ah—the old testament—” This brought another bawl out of me, and.a deep growl ont of Bob’s stomach, and we slashed our tails around so angrily that we got them tangled up so badly that an attendant had to come iu tbe cage and loosen ns up again, but the great good man conti lined: “Aaron, von remember, once made a golden calf—a six-legged calf, too, I believe, and nature commemorates the event once in every century by producing a real calf in the image of the one Aaron made ont of gold. “Aaron was a speculator—a sort of Jay Gould, so to speak, and when he collected tbe gold for his famous calf, he knew that Moses would con demn the critter and confiscate the gold; for it was a secret understand ing that he should do so, and then divy up with Aaron—ah—each take one-half of the gold critter, and let the duped Israelites play calf as much as they like afterwards. Just here Buck Lane came along attending to his office of feeding tbe animals, and when be came to onr cage and shoved in a bunch of hay ana a slop bucket fall of sliced up turnips, a grin flitted oyer his ngly face, for he knew we were awfully hungry and couldn’t eat hay, Good lands of boot tars on a pair of government pants, but it was ag gravating to see all the other animals eating their dinner With such a eaVage relish, while We were half starving, and Weren’t built right for eating hay. And to make our feelings still more aggravating the wise and good minister continued his remarks: “Ah—urn—turnips for the Jew- crack, eh? Well, let me see, Kiplypeg, tbe Greek historian says, if my mind serves me right, that the Jew-crack lives principally ou human flesh. But then Zinlypeg may be mistaken in this, for be*says in another place that tbe female Jt>w‘Crack has no hdfns, and here we have a tihe speci men of tbe female Jew-ttfsck wear ing a fine pair of antlers on her head.” This was too much for the Jew- crack knd six- leged Calf, and we just fell over od the botom of our cage and roared with laughter, but'that wise aud goodpnau couldn’t see any thing wrong and went right on ly ing to his Sunday School class. Fabawav Moses. [To-be coimfEt).] TUB local paper. •f for Infants and Chilciren- "CattoTift is so well adapted to children that I (recommend itas superior to *ny prescription mown to me.” H. A. Archer, M. D., •U 8<x Oxford St., Brooklyn, N. Y. I Cantor I a cures Colic, Constipation, 8our Stomach, Diarrhoea. Eructation, Kills Worms, gives sleep, and proifioten di Wii ecstion, itboufc injurious medication. The Centaur Company, 77 Murray Street, N. Y. despite their growling, whiih gets serious enough to mal e want to bite. never them* ANCIENT E3YPTIAN ASTRONOMY. KARL’S CLOVER ROOT will purify your Blood, dear vour Com- plectiou, regulate your Bowels aud make your Head clear as a bell. 25c. and 50c. The Trials anti Tribulations Those Couheftefi With It. Very few people who run their eyes hurriedly over the columns -of the town paper have anything like an adequate conception of the great amount of labor that has been ex pended iu getting together all the local aud personal news and putting it in presentable shape lor tie reader. Unlike the big daily with its many thousands of subscribers and its corps of trained reporters, the weekly has to depend to some extent at least on the kindness of its friends for news, us its income is 1 entirely inadequate to pay even one reporter. Every one connected with the paper, editor, proprietor, printers and ap prentices are all expected to keep their eyes and ears open and make a report of all the . news they can S ather, aiid the printer who fails to 0 this is Sure to come iufor a scold ing from the editor or proprietor. The editor is expected to keep up with politics, say something about tbe social and moral questions of the day, publish intelligence of the churches and the services held in them, find out who has married, write obituary notices, keep his readers posted on social and public entertainments, prod up the town cbnncil occasionally, call attention to any nuisance, be on hand in case of a fire and do a host of other things too numerous to mention, aud then be abused for having nothing In the paper. His greatest trouble is in vanning down people to find oat something that they could without the least Inconvenience hand in to the office, and it often happens that some item, told in a few lines, baa cost some one connected with the office a long and Weary tramp lo seenre the information. He, the editor, is sup posed to jiossess, in a very large degree, the gift of intuition, which of course means that he ought to know what is going on all over the county, even if it never occurs to anyone to tell him of what has happened, and if iu his entire lack of knowledge of what has happened, he fails to make any mention of it, then the paper is not enterprising and needs a thorough stiring up by everybody iu general. But the greatest satisfaction of an editors life lies iu Ihe fact that those who abuse the paper most are its most assiduous readers and would w^t gpNilv miss ite weekly viijts, Without In-tram.nt. Ancient A.trono- ■uen Kept Track, of the Ileaveiu. We find in the table ut the Ramesseum distinct references to the bull, the lion and the scorpion, and it is also clearly indicated that at that time the Sirius rose heliacally at the beginning of the rise of the Nile. ’ .This word heliacally requires a Httle explanation. .The ancients, who had no telescopes and had to use their horizon as the only scientific instrument which they possessed, were Very careful in de termining tbe various conditions in which a star could rise. For instance, if a star were rising at tbe same time that the mm was rising. It was said to rise oosmically, but unless certain very obvi ous precautions were taken the rising star would not be seen in consequence of tbe presence of daylight It Is quite clear that if we observe a star rising in the dawn it will get more and more difficult to observe the nearer the time of sunrise is approached. There fore what the ancients did was to deter mine a time before sunrise in the early dawn at which tbe star could be very obviously and clearly seen to rise. The term “heliacally rising” was coined to represent a star rising visibly in the dawn—therefore before the sun. Gener ally throughout Egypt the son was sup- poeed to be something like 10 dega, be low the hortsoa when a star was stated to riee heliacally. We find then that mom than 0,000 yearn ago the Egyptians WeM perfectly familiar With these facts, Htt.4 toe differ ence IwtWteii it cttnnltal and heliacal rising was perfectly clear to them. But the table at Thebes telle us, moreover, that tbe sun’s Joafney In relation to some of the zodiacal constellations WM per fectly familiar 5,000 years ago, These then are some of toe tnore general statements which may be made with regard to the most Important points so far discussed by those who have dealt with Egyptian astronomy, and tt may be added that all this information 1ms come to ns in mythologtc guise. The variems apparent movements of tbe heavenly bodies which are produced by the fototitm and revolution of the earth and the effects of procession were falnillar to tbe Egyptians, however ig norant they* may have been of toe causes. They carefully studied what they saw ami attempted to put their knowledge together In the inost convenient fashion, associating It With their strange im aginings and with their system of wor- ihlp.—Nineteenth Uentnrr. Children at table. It Is an old fashioned notion that "chil dren should be seen ami not heard.” An occasional talk by the little folk ia not objectionable, yet at the same time they Should not monopolise conversation or attention. They have their place, and it is an injustice that they should at the family board alwajrs be silent.—Good Housekeeping, SHILO’S CURE is sold on a guarantee. It cures incipient Con sumption. It is the best Cough Cure. Only one cent a dose, 25 cts, 50 cts., and $1.00, BROWN’S IRON BITTERS cures Dyspepsia, In digestion* Debility. Iliicklen’a Arnica Salve. The best salve in the world for cuts bruises, sores, ulcers, salt rheum, fever sores, tetter, chapped hands, chilblains, corns, and all skin eruptions, and posi tively cures piles, or no pay required. It isguarant eeedtot-ivcperfect satisfaction, or money refunded. Price Sfl cents per bottle. For sale at Wilcox’s drug store. Many a poor sufferer who submits to to the surgeons knife, in conse quence of malignant sores and scrof ulous swellings, might lie cured, without an o]>eratioii, by taking Ayer’s Sarsaparilla. This remedy re- pclls from the blood all the impuri ties by which disease is generated. Electric Bitters. This remedy is becoming so well known and so popular as to need no special mention. All who have used Electric Bitters sing the same song of praise.-A purer medicine does not exist and it is guaranteed to do all that is claimed. Electric Bitters will cure all diseases of the Liver and Kidneys, will remove 1‘lmples, Bolls, Salt Rheum and other affections caused by impure blood, —will drive Malaria from the system and prevent as Well tvt cure all Malarial fevers. —For ettre of Headache, constipation and Indigestion try Electric Bltters- Entire satisfaction guaranteed, or money refunded,-r-Pflce 50 cU, and $1.00 per bottle at wtllcox’s Drugstore, 5 Printed envelopes from $4 to $3 per thousand at THE HEBald' job office. Children Cry for Pitcher's Ceitorla, MKNSTRUATION w'l.h a woman of vigorous health passes off in due time without pain or dis comfort; but when she approaches this crisis MONTHLY with a trail constitu tion and feeble health she endangers both her physical and mental powers. BRADFIELD’S ^FEMALES*- REGULATOR if taken a few days before the monthly sickness sets in and continued untiil nature performs her functions, has no equal as a SPECIFIC for Painful, Pro fuse, Scanty, Suppressed and Irregular MENSTRUATION Book to “ WOMAN " mailed frtt. BM0F1ELD RE8UUT0R CO.. Atlanta, Ga. Sold fry all Druggltt&, Whaa Baby woa Nek, we gova her Oaotoria. Who* Oho waa a Child, she cried (or Caatorto, When she became Miae, afes olung to Ceatorta, Wlm abe had Chtidiw, aba save them Otatorik SHILO’S CURE, the great Cough and 'Croup Curly ' is in great demand: Pockdt size contains twenty five doses duly '29c: Children love it Sold by Druggists.' '• •>: .j_—>■ Japanese Pile Cure is an nnfailing cure for every kiud and stage of the disease. Uuanmtetd by Dr. J. A Boyd. If you feel weak and all worn out take BROWN 1 S IRON BITTERS Impure blood is the cause of iu numerable maladies. Hence, one of the greatest benefactions to humani ty. was the'discovery of Ayer’s Sar- saparilla, which more than any other medicine, has saved America from becoming a nation of invalids. P.P.P. CURES ALL SKIN AND BLOOD DISEASES. P.P.R BpoIr Va p. p. p. Curls rhlumatisM Children Cry for Pitcher’s Castorla. “The Rambler,” the bf»t bycicle in Americk, can now be bought on easy terms. Apply at Tub Hebald office. — - For Malaria, Liver Trou ble,or Indigestion, use BROWN'S IRON BITTERS i^»< ' It Slionhl Be in Every House. J. B. Wiloon, 871 Clay St., Sharpuburg, Pa., says he will not ba without Dr. King’s New Discovery fo.* Consumption, (toughs and Colds, that It cured his wife who was threntonod with Pneumonia after an attack of “I.a Grippe,” when LWl-ok— .V.M. u. (too. Ml d#^wj®enibro^j|mjuljjrivjj*^Mw CURES ALARM. P ‘0 "O • X • Xr * Curls dysplpsiA &Xfm* BIOS., Fropritten, | Drantas, Uppaua’i Block, •iVAIIAB.OA. NEW GOODS. We have just received mi elegant and handsome line of Dry Goods and Notions, and invite an inspection of same. Our new stock of spring and summer has arrived, and in it will be found suits for Men, Boys and youths in all the latest styles and shades. EDWARDS CO. Base Ball Goods, Croquet Sets, Hammocks, DUMB BELLS, INDIAN CLUBS, Hew Supply Just Received This Week J0LV THE! Darlington Book Store. GIBSON & WOODS i?lr»la»i Take pleasure in announcing that they tut now pepared to Issue mi roliries, aud can place all busi ness ontrujted to thaw in some of the best companies In the United States, ^r.rio'M other ram’dids and several physi cians had done her no good- Robert Bar ber, of CookspOrt, Fa., cltima Dr King’s New Discovery hu done him more good than anything L* ‘ever used for Lung Trouble. NotWng like U. Try it. Fran Tilal Bottles at Wlllcoi’a Drug fitore 50 'MiHotptyerge.wdfi,(IQ, S They have such companies as The Home, of New York, mid The Hartford, of Hartford, Conn., two of the largest and best managed companies in the country. kL&liiiimss They invite examination into the plans of the New York Mutual, offering, as they do, very favora ble terms to those who wish to insure. hmi* and Imm, They also conduct n general Brokerage and Commission bus iness, aud solicit a share' of the patronage. DARLINGTON, S. C, NEW SHOES. Manufactured by E. C. Burt & Co., Drew, Selby & Co., Williams, Hoyt & Co. Examine our $3 Glove Fitting Good Year Welt Shoe for Meu. An elegant line of all styles and prices. We carry the .best lino Hand-Sowed Goods ever brought to Darlington. Immense Stock of Oxfords For Ladies, Misses and Children; widths B to E. We have them in the newest lasts and colors. Trunks, Valises, Traveling Bags, Etc. We have on hand a complete stock of the above goods at astonishing prices. DARLINGTON SHOE STORE, WOODS & MILLING, Proprietors.