The Darlington herald. (Darlington, S.C.) 1890-1895, March 09, 1892, Image 1

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’ J ..CJ HERALD. “ir FOR THE LIBERTY OF THE WORM) WE CAN DO ANYTHING.” > VOL. II. DAltJJXGTOX, SOUTH (WHOLINA, WEDNESDAY, .MAIK’II i), ISJ)2. NO. 27 TlliLMASi AT DEWBERRY. Thr Governor’s Views of the Pres ent Igrifultural and Financial Repression. iiiea.sures of relief, if we don’t gel all we ask, we .shall get some measures of! relief. We must not quarrel about i means. Christian Courtesy. jof Oiltetlgc" ami its methoiis: THE BE.UTY OF HOM W. But last of all, it may he by some — Sehool mistake vou stumble into the churel. I *« lnlf "Sling Rhapsody from the Seientifie and Industrial. Ro Not Get Risrotiraged. MIT COM PI,III ENTARY. 'J’he editor of the Sunday Times recently asked Robert .1. I’»ir-, of ,| 1( . Samaritans. Yon have noj dette to reply to the inquiry of a cor- ^ t ] lwe fellows, and you ! experiments have shown | Several farmers have been heard to He Had Listened to the Minister and Pen of Ex-Mayor Harrison, of Chirago. that liquid oxygen is magnetic. | talk somewhat after this fashion re- Steam locomotives to be fried i eently. “Well, I hardly know what Bv special invitation Governor Till man addressed a meeting of citizens of Newberry, on Saturday, the 27th ult. Wc append a synopsis of his admirable How High Was the Tower of Bahell respondent who wished a “few points W0l|](1 |m ,. k ollt llg soon as you seej |,is (q.nstmas sermon Bishop His reply is tt .] lp| . e V(MI Mrt , going; but theSamari- tans are wide awake, with some very The actual height at which Hie last stone of that famous structure, the tower of Buliel, rested cannot, peeeh as reported by the I on account of the remoteness of the Columbia Register: | time at which it is said to have Mr. Chairman and Fellow Citizens j existed, ever become more than a of Newberry County: 1 matter of merest conjecture, liero- I am al wavs glad to respond to dot us, who lived about 1,700 years any call from the citizens of any ^after that “great spiral way to countv to confer with them on any heaven” is said to have been at- topie ’affecting the public welfare. | tempted, says that he saw at Babylon . t , )e ”|„‘ rt .h, „„ the front of the pul- on church etiquette.” in a characteristic vein: How shall we behave ourselves in church? Oh, well, it depends some what on the church we attend. Each has its own rules, carefully codified, * for the guidance of the members in their attitude toward each other and toward strangers who may seek to worship with them. These rules are to do this year. mourns because woman has 1 beautv, and says it “leads h>-r to sin It seems that if 1 cotton I formal notions about church etiquette, j . m(1 t , lcl , ious ilmvin „ of lif( .- s The sexton, standing on the porch gtream o Hc evoll doubts “if it is secs you are a stranger, and the minute vou jmuse hesitatingly in front of the church you are his. He hypnotizes you with a cheerful nod and a beckoning hand, and passes you on through the wide-open door al- hung up in the pews, on the wallsvif I lllog j before vou know it. An old stream.” Hc even doubts “if it worth while to have beauty at all.” Bishop, I close my eyes and go far back in years to the time when a tiny baby I lay in a woman's lap. I look up into dark brown eyes and upon a face full of female beauty. I can Ion tbe Chicago( HI.) street lines * , » • t v , „! go to work and make cotton i w I he best isinglass dissolves com- ” i.i-i. . i • „ ; -i i get nothing for it. If every one goes pletely in hot water, leaving no visilde i. i residuum. The globular brass lantern, hither to in use for military service purposes, Your invitation is todiseuss the I a structure consisting of eight agricultural outlook and the eondi-j towers, raised one above another, lion of the farming interest and each seventy five feet in height, but kindred interests bearing on it. . Agriculture is the basis of all wealth, the foundation on which so ciety rests. Advice is something of which ever v one has a superabund ance and is willing to give on all oc casions, but which few ever take. Wear- confronted by a condition which is blue, indeed. Never in my recollection since ISOo have we been face to face with a prospect so gloomy. Before the war every plan tation was self-sustai ling. Our farmers bought very little of the necessaries of life, and cotton was a surplus crop. From causes which I will point out we have reversed the order of things. We have changed the economy of the farm and in large measure depended on one crop to buy everything we are compelled to have. The present condition of over production—too much cotton—was predicted by me seven years ago in a speech at Bcnnettsville, and I set to work to bring about some change as far as discussion would do it. Wind has produced this revolution.-' I say in soberness and truth that by everv measure in our power we have driven our people to the culture of cotton alone. How? One of the greatest causes was the enactment of the lien law. T1 e enactment of Ihir- law placed credit on the crop In-fore -d-tS'pianieu. It placed the mail o. character and the man without it on the same plane. The honest and the dishonest, the intelligent and igno rant, the industrious and lazy, were all placed on the same level. It placed the value of the crop in the hands of those who did the buying, and all went to planting cotton be cause debts-were payable iu cotton. The Lcgi latnre is largely responsi ble for this condition of cotton. The effect has liecn to make cotton the crop to buy everything else with,' pression of countenance, by siguili- npper level of each of these 75- j 'translate towers was reached from whether this ruin was the remains of the Tower of Babel it was even then impossible to ascertain. Herodotus, usually minutely exact in his writ ing, leaves us in ignonnee as to how the foot level below. As might be expected; even in tra dition. a wide difference of opinion exists as to the height of the tower. Most orientallists maintain that Hod did not put a stop to the work until the tower had reached a height of 10,000 fathoms, or about twelve miles. In Ceylonese tradition it is said to have been as high as 20,000 elephants each standing one above the other. St. Jerome asserts on the authority of persons who had ex amined the ruins that it did not reach a height exceeding four miles. Other statements are siill more ex travagant.—St. Louis Republic. pit, over choir, everywhere in plain sight. They are not printed on card board. but. are made “plain upon tables, that he may run that reudelh it;” and that is just what he wants lo do sometimes. The regular occu pants of the pews, by manner, by ex- () f j, An jest ure deacon in the vestibule Inis von bv not speak. My infant tongue can j form no word, but I coo out in gentle the hand at once, and introduces you , |mimiui , s: ,. Mv i„, nllt i ru | nio ' t | 1 ,. | ..“ to “our church clerk,” a iding as he v ft . ff V( , ar(j „;|| 1)V , | io „„ ., reaches vour part of the,introduction, ; ;l( a fw( ’ “I don't 1 exactly know your name," nK .,.- s ( | av \ —as though he used to know it dike folding | is to be superceded by a lantern for use in tents. There is a new sanitarium in th? Riviera of Italy for the inhalation of ozone for the cure of most weaknes ses, particularly tuberculosis. The liest material for and tempering mallsab steel goods is said to be leather on a warm sum- 1 made by burning waste lealh- dovc gently coos on a I ( . r> It Set Him M omlfring. Mr. L.—, a clergyman, had accept ed an invitation totalktothepatients of an insane asylum. In his address he said he tried to talk on subjects lun- to raising corn, it will bring nothing iu the fall.” That is looking on the ,he - v S'™1> ivadiiy. using dark side of the cloud, which has a 8 ,,a r e " !ts simple, bright side. If a farmer, with all his 0|lc ,,f ,lu ' -""'T'cls treated was investments in laud, houses stock and l * l “* the mothers who threw their farming implements, should get dis- * l, ^° ^ lt ‘ Langes, thinking heartened and make up their minds j , * K ' " el ' , ‘ ntqreasing the wrath of^W<.>. to do a slack year’s work, they will '^ f '- During his talk about this Mr. congregation, church of Samari tans; not to keep the people otil, but to bring them in; it isn’t a fort, it's a hospital: it's a man-trap, baited with ('hristian courtesy. • A Well-Matched Couple. A convict at a French penal set tlement, who was undergoing a life sentence, desired to marry a female convict, such marriages being of Words of Wisdom. Who gives n trifle meanly is meane than the trifle. It is not how much vvt how much wc enjoy, that makes hap piness. If you have a Jonah among your friends don't sit down and erv about it: be a whale. Beware ot desperate steps; t he darkest day, live till to-morrow, will have passed away. A kind heart is a fountain of glad ness, making everything in its vicini ty to freshen into smiles. The trouble with the a hook, and has a pret ty good inkling now, but can't quite place you. usher at each door is ready for , . ' vou,—there is a perfect picket liueof U ' these unwritten rules so clearly Hud j' #1 . xt(ms . im | ( |,. a( .,m S and ushers along every man may hear them speak in || lt . front of the his own language, and the “way faring men. though Amis, need not err therein.” The next lime your journey leaves vou stranded in the great and de lightful city of New Chicorkadclphia on the Sabbath day, if you should go to the church of Saint Indolence—I can recommend it us having the slowest singing and the softest pew cushions, with a preacher to match, i . .. ' .. ,, I common occurrence. I lie governor in the city,--yon Xvill see the iollovv- i iug “iMiggestions to Worshipers:” “Fall or slide into the pew nearest | , the aisle. “Stay there. j “Do not sit erect, but lop. Rest 1 one elbow on I he arm of I he pew, and j support the side of the fact with the ! outspread hand. If the cheek can be avo, but pushed up in folds and wrinkles, so as to vvhollv or partially close one eve, all intelligent expressions will be dest roved, and the altitude of niter and disrespectful laziness will be 'on. Yon nn.st produce some proof heightened bv the charm of imhecili- ^ ,il * .'our wife is dead. tv or natural.stupiditv. “ l' 11 "*'' i, " ,l ,l,c lH ' i,U ' “Do not rise during the singing of pro>l*cctive I.H.kcd anxiously at the the hvnins. The fact that vou plav- ! 1,0 iiiliU: cd tennis or base ball nil Saturday “I can prove that my former wife afternoon, or walked four or five miles 'lead, around a billiard table Saturday j night, entitles you to a little rest, so-called i mundjiy morning. This is (hedavof tree close by; a cricket chirps on the' sninmer's hearth, and the old clock tuck—tick-tuck. The woman gent ly hums a sweet song as she fans mv check. I close my eyes and dream. I dream of my beautiful mother. Long years go by. I am past a half- century old. I am pressed to a wo man's heart. She is past three-score years and eighteen. An ocean will soon divide mother and child. Her eyes are yet soft and brown; a flush of love is upon her face as she bles ses her son. I never saw her a min. But in my heart, lives her image—the image of a beautiful woman. The scene shifts. I am standing at Hod's of the colony offered no objections, j altar. I look to my side and see a but the priest proceeded to cross-ex- beautiful girl. As I place upon her , judicious is the time, are low. farmers will need the products they can raisi to supply the deliciency amine the prisoner. ' “Did you not marry in France?” he asked. “Yes.” i “And your wife is dead?” “She is.” “Have vou iinv document to show that she is dead?" “No.” •Then I must decline to mum light is not affected by The battery is carried now above in vvhiterobed purity, i in ,lu ' l ,,,( ' k '' 1 ’ tl,c "ires passing down are idle lies is that as scon as they uttered they stop being idle. There are few defects in our na ture so glaring as not to be veiled from observation by good breeding. Your friends mav sometimes act sind this, together with the rental niil( ] because yon do not come to see system, brought about the enactment them but they arc not as mad as they of the stock law. The people said i soem> we can't make money out of stock, so ^ vvhv keep up the fences, and so the Col. Hoyt, editor of the Enter- stoi»k law came. Stock raising dis- prise and Mountaineer, has the fol- appeared and jieople turned their at- lowing in regard to the Democratic tention more and more to cotton. call for a March Convention: Other ills have followed the cul- “It is clear to any man disused to ture of cotton. One is the increased' look with unprejudiced eyes upon use of fertilizers. Every year we pay the situation that the democrats of over $3,000,000. There is no rota-• South Carolina are in greater danger tion of crops, and no attempt to of disruption and disintegration than preserve the land. We kill grass at anytime in the history of the nine months in the year and tl en party since it wrested control of the rest, and you are noSabbath breaker. “Take advantage of the long pray er. when other people should have their eyes closed and their heads politeness and j bowed, to adjust yourself intou posi tion of limp and lounging listless ness that you cun endure comforta bly through the sermon. “Extend vour Ugs as far under the “How will you do it?" “I was sent here for killing her.” And the bride accepted him, not withstanding. Mrknninrs of Great Men. Great men's nicknames all remind us, we might be well known to fame and departing leave behind us proofs thin we were "in the game.” The, following are some of the terms of affection given to a few of the mor.' ' 11 l,ln ^ pew in front of you as you cun make prominent leaders: them reach without sliding off your seat. "(iracefully and politely cover your mouth with your hand while yawn ing during the sermon. If the mile- ister is looking at you, cover your mouth with both hands, and, at the[ close of’the yawn, bring your jaws together with a cheerful snap. finger a circlet of goldoureyes meet a flush of love mantles her cheek, for she knows I am whispering: beautiful wife.” Mother and sit and thank (iod! both were and are beautiful. Bishop, woman’s beauty does not lead her to sin, nor does it deflect the pious flow ing of life's stream. Do not try to teach men that beauty leads to sin. A Frenchwoman once, when told that something she wanted to do was naughty, replied, “Yes, but it is so nice to lie naughty.” If you tench men that it, is doubtful “whether it is worth while to have beauty or not," you will have empty benches to preach to, and your con gregation will be standing on the ! street corners by daylight and at night, with lanterns in hand, grop ing like Diogones, after beautiful :sin. No, no! (irecian genius waved a magic wand and. the Apollosprang , from cold marble, (Jreek genius look ed upon a human model and the chisel turned hard stone into un- Yeniis. Raphael dipped : his pencil into lints stolen from the 1 rainbow, attuned his heart to a song chanted by angels, and the Madonna deila Seigola exorcises sin from the ' beholder. Murillo caught a flame from genius and his ascending Mary ! convinces Ihelookeron that the im- Chidren are not numerous iu France. Out of 1(>,<><>0,<>00 families | slant, iintiriu iu the Republic one-tifth have no ! and work, I hi.- chiidren al all and another fifth have one child each. Tic star Sirius, w hich is shown to I e about double the size of our sun. emits from forty to sixty fold more light than the sun, owing lo its matter being much more dif fused. Recent explorations in the district of Sonora. Mexico, show that the coal deposits in the Sail Marcia! Valley w ill amount to fullv tid.tMio,- (UiO.OlKl tons and it is of excellent quality. A French inventor has attached a liny incandescent lamp to an or dinary pencil for use by reporters and others Ini'ing to take notes at show about as much sense as a doctor, who had given his life to the study A noticed one of hi hardening of his profession and made all his in- T IM:m - his eyes riveteiTupoi) iron and ' vestments in the line of his business. Ililn - The man's face was a study, if he should give up his life work and go to merchandizing nr farming, if there was ever a year in the history of our countv that demanded eon- planning I f prices more of , iu order of cash Let us have \| v night. The w jf t , rain or wind. caused bv short pric no grumbling around. Let the fat ness bo restored to the corn cribs. Let the hog pens with fat hogs appear everywhere there are eaters. Let the spider webs be brushed out of thenld wheat boxes and till them with tin golden grain. Repair th around the house. Prepare flower beds and trellises for the girls. Let them nrnannnt the house in their own wav. It will cost liltleand iu'- rotind the home life with a halo of happiness. No. my dear sir, this is no time for laziness and the ford through which we are all passing is His atlilnde was so direct and tiend- i'll that it annoyed the speaker. After the discourse Mr. L—went among the patients. lie met, the man with the glaring eyes and took I is hand. The minister told him he ha I noticed Ids close attention to some portions of the sermon. "I notice,” "said Mr. L—, “that j you were particularly interested when I spoke about the mother throwing their babes into the River Ganges. I would like to know, mv good fellow, "hat was passing through your mind while I was talking on this.subjcet?” I he maniac glared again at the fences l' ,v:l, 'fler and replied: "I was wondering why vour moth er didn’t tbrow vou in." Forty Tlioiisainl Acres of Rain. Rain making as a business is a novelty, but that fact according to a telegram from California, has not de terred capitalists from going into it the sleeve. A novel method of testing the condition of a horse's feet is to jentirely too deep for swapping oe-j on a largo scale. The Interstate Arti- icupations. Stick to the farm. Makelffeial l!ain ('omp.iny. of Kansas, has ; it what it ought to be and it will j been organized to produce rain lo J make you andyourchildreii. Neglect order on any required area. Cali- it, and desolation will sweep over your fornia farmers are said to have the home and blight the hopes and am-; company bound to furnish them 4(),- bitions of wife and children. Let (Kin acres of rain during the coming | there be no faltering and two years season. Rain making seems to be If the foot is improperly penetrate,I f| . (mi t(>( , av ulll be songs of re-j regarded as a practicable thing bv a attach one terminal of a light battery to the bit and the other to the shoe. bv the nails the animal will squirm ... ,, „ ., 1 , joining all over the under the test, but will give no" ’iedmont belt. Poor Richard — Benjamin 1 The Railsplitter—Abraham Lin- . coin. “It is a mark of the highest cul- qq,,. yule Hhint—Stephen A. ture and best breeding in relined so- |) on ,r| as , cietv, to look at your watch frequent- \V lz:m | of (he North—Sir Walter Black Dan—Daniel Webster Black Jack—John A. Logan. Little Phil—Philip Sheridan. The Silent Man—1’. S. Grant. Old Hickory—Andrew Jackson. The Honest Man—James Monroe. •Yinklin n,!lt ’ , ihite conception vvasa possiluili- ty. Again, Bishop, take a lavman's advice: Do not grow old. Wonders of n Mosquito's Bill bur Northern hav. Fore-seeing this government from the powers of mis-' ly during the service. After looking Scott condition of affairs, I, with others, rule and corruption. The office-hold-1 a t vour watch, always turn vour head endeavored to put on foot Clcinson ing cabal which seized upon a popu- and gaze longingly and earnestly to-■ College, where our young men could lur movement two years ago and placed ; ward the door. “Do not move if a stranger, ac companied by his wife and daughter. I attempts to enter your pew.’ Permit them to climb over your legs, no matter how much it may annoy you. cut price of cotton is due to specula- I'nniiudful of their broken promises, '|’his is the Lord's house, and all his tion or legislation, we cannot afford anil in the face of a record, utterly children are welcome. It is not -Salmon P learn something of diversified farm- themselves in comfortable positions jujr, under the promises of retrenchment To put ns on the right road ap- and reform, are not, going to yield pears a plain case. We need no con- the power thus obtained without a vent iotl fo do it. Whether the pres- persistent and extraordinary strn ggle. Old Rough and Iwady Taylor. Father of Greenbacks Chase. Old Man Eloquent—John Quincy Adams. Goldsmith of America—Wash ington Irving. Silver Tongued Orator—Wendell Phillips. Grand Old Man—William Ewart of Nature—William j’he mosquito's lull is simply a toolbox wherein the mosquito keeps Zachary six miniature surgical instruments in j perfect working order. Tvvoof these ; instruments are exact counterparts of | the surgeon's lance: one is a spear vvilh a double-barred head, the third is a needle of exquisite fineness, a saw and a pump going to makeup the complement. The spear is the largest of the six tools and is used for mak-| ing the initial puncture; next, the lances or knives are brought inloj play to cause the blood to flow more, freely. Incase this last opera! ion ' token if there is no irritation. The natives of Madagascar former ly followed the moon in determining time, but. since the influx of mis sionaries the Queen issued an edict that the Christian year should be followed. But in commencing the year the first year the date of the first, day was set some time in Octo- hcrand November. The red color of the markings on : Jupiter is believed by Mr. Barnard, the eminent astronomer, to be an in dication of their age, the spots or I markings (other than thewhitespots! being dark or black on first, appear ances, but afterward becoming red. The great red spot seems lo be no exception to the rule. The success of the existing electric railvva, in London, has given an im petus to the movement for loco motion of a similar kind. For con sideration during the forthcoming session of Parliament there are no fewer than live bills which propose either the construction of new elec tric railways or the extension of lines already authorized. A Colorado man has devised an electrical machine that successfully operates in placer deposits of gold that could not be profitably worked bv the sluice methods, '•'heniethod cmploved for saving the gold is that of collecting it by means of the elec tric current, so that it forms an amalgam from which the precious metal may be easily separated. —Carolina Spartan. Single Beds. If these were more numerous than they are a great many people would be better off. When one is tired, sick, cross, restless, out-of-sorts, hc or she ought to slecpalone and not com municate by proximity the maladies that effect him. The brute creatines good many hard headed people. It, is not explained, however, how rain is to be gotten out of a dry atmos phere. Why Many Lamps Won’t Burn. Says a lampdealer: "Duringeach year I handle thousands of burners which are sent to me for repairs, wicks or glasses, and it is surprising what a small percentage have any when sick go away by themselves till; pretense to cleanliness; some, indeed, thev die or get overtheir troubles, Mire scrupulously clean on the outside, and this instinct a great many hit- polished up with paste. The inside, man beings have; those that have it however is filthy, and I wonder how are best if indulged in it not to the they burn at all. Recently I received slightest degree of neglect, however. ’ a circular lamp burner to put right Left to themselves, they can compose! and found it caked inside with wax their internal dissensions, recover : from composite candles which are their lost equilibrium, and get back i foolishly used to ignite the wicks. their habitual rate of “vibration;" whereas, if continually disturbed, and “crossed” and interrupted, they are a long time in getting back tothe normal. Where two ch'ldivn in a family must share the same room, in a great mullv cases thev would be better off My repairs consisted in scraping off this wax and cleaning the burner, after which the lamp burned perfect ly. This lamp had been in use less than six weeks. Another burner brought to me held inside a store of dead flies (we counted forty odikx After removing these and the dust to have two single beds rather than . the lamp was all right. one wide double lied. Mo can share a great many things with those we love, but solitude clings to us from birth to death. M e come into the world alone, we go out of it alqne, and we live in it alone, in a certain “It is all very well to say‘if this or ‘if that be done to a lamp an ac cident may be the result, but ‘if a lamp be treated as common sense dictates, we know of nothing less dan gerous. Me have ourselves been important sense, and to get and keep struck with astonishment when in- our "healings” wo must sometimes be speeting some dirty, dogged and left alone. It is good that we should damaged burner—not so much at the be. He who has his bed to himself burner itself as at the fact that the may be osseutiallv alone fora portion people were able to use it at all vvith- of the twentv-four hours, mav have out accident." London Queen. to raise it at the present price. M'hen devoid of true economy and reform, ( hristian and it may even be ques- a man knows he' loses,money Miy they are now asking a new lease of tinned if it is really polite, to p»t Ghuidstoue. raising cotton and does not propose power from the people. They are your knees up against the back’of qq,,. |*, M to raise food, he has only himself to shaping events so as to convince their the pew when a family of strangers, ('„j| t .u Bnant. blame for his condition. But the former followers that the failure to uttempt to enter. Jt is practiced in j Schoolmaster of our e cry is we are in debt, what are we accomplish reform lies at the door of some chinches, but vve have never Noah M’ebster.—Mail and Express. to do? How will you get out of debt ( the legislative and judicial depart- openly encouraged it here. , — tion in the victim’s flesh. The pump, bv raising a crop on which you lose meats of the government. They are “Do not annoy strangers who may < Due of the queerest things in mod-' ( | U1 )m( .q ( | 0 |j ( att , () j- a || s jx „f the in- According to Gunter.’ himself to himself, and adjust his iu- jtcrnal mechanism tohisown satis-| faction. For a great many woes and 1 ills solitude is a balm—what we call solitude--for when alone the imnia- fadcs,' one cent a pound? If our people j asking that the people shall elect, enter the church by looking at them, ! ern exploration and development is don’t undertake to raise meat and subservient tools to obey the behests bread starvation is before us. jof one man, who w ishes to dictate siriimcnts, is used in transferring the 'or even glancing in their direction. Ihepart played by theChinese. They blooiNo the insect's “stomach." Nothing is more embarrassing to a I believe the low price of cotton is influenced by two causes; the demonetization of silver and ihecon- duet of our financial affairs in the in terest of Wall street. M e are sys- tematicallv and persistently robbed ing war upon every corporation for the benefit of manufacturing in- the State." dustries and money sharks of the North. The cry goes up from mil-1 lions of homes, give us relief or wc perish! The Alliance has sprung up and spread like fire. The farmers stand together and ask relief. If it goes too far and touches on agrarian and govern the decisions of legal sensitive person than to find himself tribunals. They are seeking to renew a n object of attention, under Ihccyes the crusade agaii si capital of every of strangers iu a , (range place. If description, and a new lease of power he really wants a seal, he will find means that they will wage iinrelciit- one witiiout the obtrusive inlerfer- lll elice of other people. Koine of I'u ablest scholars in our denomination they will reap a rich harvest Haughty I aid v(wh 0 has purchased Mim ‘~ a stamp)—-M ust I put it on mvself? , ^ “ 1vIk '. of * ^“’.v Stump Clerk—Not necessarily. I. of ,f ’ ,mlw1 ’ !! K ' V M,v,,0, never do pion-er work, but as soon _ as the white man has opened a new qq„. f^e rifle, with which tliel'ni- country they come in to trade and ted States governmintwill arm the lake advantage of other opportuni-j ,, aV al battalion, can be used either as ties to make money. They have just a repeater nr a single shooter. The begun to appear iu Mestand South detachable magazine holds live car- Afriea, and in the new mining camps (ridges, am | (he soldier carries several The phrase “According to Gunter" fails of having the desired effect, the remains in our language as a per- saw and the needle are carefully and peliial memory of Gunter, theEnlish ^ terial asserts itself, the actual feelinglv inserted in a lateral diree- mathematician, who was born in the real is present with us. 15X1 and died in 1(1211. Almost to , "TT , ,,.i -. , oldllelipeek -Nonsense! I he idea of talking about marriage! Aon and mv daughter haven't been en gaged over six months. the present time the works of Guide)' were cifnsidered standard. He was ! the inventor of the surveyor's chain: I of the logarithmic line; of the quad- l rant; of the scale bearing his name, and anything in mathematics to be right must be “according toGunter." SI. Louis Globe Democrat. will probably aeeomplMi more you put it on the letter. if the Scarlet M'oinae himself. “At the close of service remark aloud, but to yourself, that you are Mother (horrified)—M’hat did you hungry us a shark, and set off for ism, centralism or paternalism us has let thaat young Snipkins kiss you home at a brisk trot. The house o' been charged, I am afraid the ruin- for’.' , the Lord is no place for idle chatter wu 8 ,, s bow of promise will disappear from Daughter (meekly)—For only two a u,| vvordly gossip with strangers.”, good side of the proprietor, and now our skies. If vve are men and stand minutes, munima, and then I told He then describes the imposing they demand our whiskers. I hat is t boulder to shoulder and vote fot" him it" us time to stop. 'edifice of the “Churoh of •juiul Dives loo much and "e must rebel. M ailers in New York city restau rants and hotels are up in arms be- eutise they have been asked to shave off their moustaches and whiskers. “Me are already ohligal, said one a ( ) | tl ag a gulling gun disgusted waiter, “to give our tips to the headwater and spend half our iu the house to keep on the magazines in his licit. They can lie ittachcd or detached in one second. The range of the ritle is nearly two miles. The New Orleans I'icuyune predicts that half a dozen infantry- no dude, men in the next war will he as form Mother (wearily)—It's perfectly abominalile! M’ith all my watching Young man Do you believe in long I’ligiigonu’iiis, sir/ old IIcnpcek- Certainly, my vouug friend, certainly. I lie longer i the engagement the shorter the mar riage. the clean. He'i “M hat is the shortest won language?" asked Billings, i “Broke,” replied his impecunious He’s friend. I can't kivp Tommy the dirtiest boy alive. Father (proudly)—That’s so. , Little Johnny Fizzletop was Young Ncvergo: “1 beg pawdon. punished because he had punched Miss Folly, for leaving so early, for, the huhy iu the stomach. Tom—You say you expect to win 1 wcally, I feel so much at home heah, Miss Fortune, but havent begun to,always." make love to her yet? Miss Folly: “No apologies are Jack—Yes; keep your mind easy; necessary; I'm sure I always wish you I’m luuuiug a* a dark boioc. tv be at livme "lieu vvu ui'v bvi'e.” “M’ell, that beats all. If I am not allowed any privileges in this house I don’t cure for family life,” replied the aggrieved youth. “I'll go west ami bit'e svme Ijmlulliux lmliuu«>” Mrs. Julia Maid Howe recently said, in s|ieaking of Longfellow, that “his personal charm wasin a delicate ness that was truly eosmopolitan; he had a vivid appreciation of what was beautiful and noble,and he represent ed the purest taste and most perfect feeling." Mas there ever given a liner definition of a gentleman. ••So you have got tw ins at your house?" said Mrs. Bczumhc to little Johnny Saluelson. "Yes, mam, two of 'em." "M’hat are you going to call them?" "Thunder and Light ning.’’ “M’hy, those are strange names to call children.” "Mell, that’s w hat pa called’em as soon as he heard they were in the house.” The world has comparatively little use for exceptionally brilliant men; but there is plenty of room at the top, and all the wav down, for men of sound, common sense. Many a “bright” man’s blunders dim the radiance of his good things. No, the world is not hankering for more brilliant men; but it is greatly in need everywhere of level-headed men "bv make £vw uiuuku.