Orangeburg times. (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1872-1875, January 21, 1875, Image 1
ALn IndLependeiat Paper Devoted to the ' lnterests^ of the People
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VOLUME HI.
ORANGEB?RG, SOUTH CAROLINA, km^)J^^^^^ 1875.
NUMBER 50.? i
A-IiITIcRARY CURIOSITY.
[Tho following is ono of tho nioet rcmarkabio
compositions wo havo mot with. It ovlncoa an in
genuity of arrangement po*nliarly its own. Ex
planation: Tho initial capitals epoll ?'My Boast t?
?n tb? Qloriou? Orosa of Christ. " The words in
Italics, wbonTCad from top to bottom and bottom
to top, form tlio Lord's Prayer ooinploto:]
Make known tho Gospel-truths, our Father king,
Yield up thy graco, dear >J>Vtfftcr, fromabove,
Bless us with hoartn inJimfc feelingly can ?!ugi
"Our lifo thou art for-cecr Ood of Lovo?"
A'Busgo our grlof in love for Christ we pray, -
Since tbo bright prince of Untren and glory died,
Took all our slus aud hallowed the display,
Infant 60lug, flr'nt a man, and thon was crucified.
Stupendous Clad! thu(traceand junco-mako known;
In Jesus' numclet all the world rejoice,
Now labor in thy heavenly kingdom own
That bles8od kingdom for thy salute the choice,
How vilo tocVftne to theo 1? all our ory,
Enemies of f/ty-sclf and all that's thine,
GraccleoB our will wo livo for vanity,
Loathing thy oc-ing, evil 1" design.
Oh God, thy will be done, from oarth to heaven;
Boclinlng on tho GoBpollet 11? live,
In euriA from Bin ?fcKccr-ed and forgiven.
Oh J a?^hyself''oMf teach na to forgive,
Unless t't'a power tcatftption doth destroy,
8uro in our fall ?uro tho depths of woe,
Carnal m mind, wo'vo not a Rllmpsc or Joy
rtaleed agalnBt Acuccn ,? iu ut hope wo can flow.
O give us grace and lead us in thy ways;
hhlno on im with thy lovo and glvo u? pcaco,
Solf and t!ii: sin that rleo agaim<t us slay.
Oh grant each day our trc*pa*t-6U may cease,
Forglvo our evil deeds that oft wo do.
Convince ub daily Of them to our shamo,
Help us with heavenly bread, forgive us too,
Recurrent lusts, and we'll adoro thy name,
In thy /or<7it'c-no8B wo a* palntB can die,
Slnoo for im aud onr trenpanse? 00 high,
Tby Sou our Saviour, bird on Calvary.
TUE SNUFF-COLOKEI) SUIT.
I eoarcoly knew how it happened, but
a timber must have fell and struok mo
on the head.
The first thing that I realized after if
was tiiat I was straight and still on
something hard, and v.'hen I tried to
move myself and speak, I found it im
possible to do so. I concluded that I
must bo in some very tight dark place,
for I could not see ; in fact I soon
loarnod that, tho' perfeotly conscious, I
could do nothing but hear. A door
opened and footsteps approached \ but
I felt a oloth taken from my face, nnd a
voioo whioh I recognized as that of- Mr.
Jones, tho father of my wife that was to
be?said:
"He hasn't changed much," and his
companion, whose,voioe I knew tobe the
village undertaker, Hopkins by name,
lightly :
" Better looking dead than alive.
How does Jerusha fool about it ? Take
on muck ?"
" Oh, no, she had her eye on another
fellow anyhow, and a bettor match, too,
exocpting the money part. Thongb I
had nothing against Ben. only ho didn't
know much, and was about the homeliest
man I ever knew. Saoh a mouth: why
it really seemed aa thongh he was going
to swallow knife, plate, and all, when
ho opened it at dinner."
"Well," said the cheer fill voice of
Hopkins," he'll never open his mouth
again ;" and then he proceeded to meas
ure me for my coffin, for it. seemed that
I was dead, or thoy thought I was,
whioh waB all the same to the greedy
pocket of the undertaker. I had heard
of undertakers who always whistled joy
fully when they got, a measure, but I
nover behoved it boioro. But that man
actually-whistled a subdnod danoiug
tuno whilo ho measured mo, and it
seemed to mo that three or four ioiolos*
wero rolling down tuv back, to thomusio
of his whistle.
His duty dono, they coverod my faco
again and left me to my own reflections,
whioh woro not particularly oomforting,
although I had often hoard it remarked,
that meditation was good for tho soul,
and this was tho best chanco I had ever
had to try it.
An hour must have passed when tho
door aguin opened, nnd two porsons
onrao whispering along to whero I hty,
nnd tho voice of-my promised wife fell
upon my ear.
"I dread to. look at him, Bob ; ho
was so mortal homely, alive, ho must be
frightful dead."
I ground my teeth in imagination, as
I remembered how often sho had gone
into raptures, or pretended to, over my
noble brow, and Expressive month; and
how that she often declared that if I
woro taken away from her aho would
surely pine away and die.
Ono of them raised tho cloth, and I
know thoy were looking at mo. Bob
was her second cous'n, nnd I know he
was that "other fellow," whom her
father had mentioned.
" Beonis to mo you don't feol vory
bad nbout his dying, 'Kusha," remarked
Boh, meditatively,
"Well, to toll the truth," said my
betrothed, "I don't care very much
about it. If ho had lived I should have
married him, because ho was rich, aud
father wanted me to : bnt I was getting
about siok of my bargain, for 1 know
I should always bo ashamed of him, ho
looked so much liko a baboon.
"But you loved him," remarked
Bob.
"No, I didn't 1 My affections wero
wasted long ago upon one who never
returned my love ;" and my fastrfadinr;
idol sighed heavily.
, They had covered my faoo by this
time, and wore standing a few otep.i
from whore I lay.
"About how long ago, 'Rueho?"
asked Bob. 'O?lC/ ^ff 'J S J
"A yea?, or such a matter," wilh
another dopp sigh, which ended in a fit
of sneezing.
j >?! Abon,t the timo I wont away ?" In??
terrogated the cautions Bob, coughing*
t> littlo. 11 < 1 J| j { 7; L| J I
"-Well, yes, somo'ro near," assented
my door aulonoed.
M Now, Jerusha, yon don't mean to
insinuate that I?" I
" I don't mean to insinuate anything,
Bob Smith 1" and tho ahgelio sweotnoss
of hor voice was somewhat sharpened.
"Now. see here, 'Rnsha, I've loved
you ever since yon were kneo high to a
gopher, but I thought when you came
homo that you was sweet on that other
chap; but I swan 1 boliovo yen liked
me all the timo!"
" Oh, Bob 1" said my was-to-ho, in a
gushing sort of way.
" Mino own JeruBha 1" remarked Bob.
Then I heard a subdued ruBb, accom
panied by violont lip explosions. I
tried to kick, or grato my teeth/or do
something to relievo my out raged fool
ing, but not a kick nor ? "grato could I
raiBO. It was on awful fire to bo in, but
I had to stand it, or lay it, so I laid still
and let 'em alone nntil thoy got tired of
it, and then they went ont, and I was
again left to my own pleasant reflec
tions,''''
Night CAmo, &sd so did a lot of young I
fellows with their girls, to sit with
me; and they had a jolly time of it,
although it was against my principles
to enjoy it on so solemn an occasion.
It seemed on ago until morning,1 but"'
it came at last and thoy went awoy. I
heard them say that I was to bo buried
that day at two o'clock, and I was bo
ginning to feel decidedly shaky when
Jerusha and her mother enmo into the
room and began arranging for the fu
neral.
",'Rusha," said.her mother^ "hereisj
4,hWsritif?-Wd^^ ; of
course he will never have any more use
for clothes, so just pnt them away
among your carpet-rags ; they'll make
a splendid stripe."
Now that particular suit of clothes
was j?st tho neatest one I ever owned,
arm-holes, wristbands, buttons, all jnBt
tho thing, and my blood boiled to hear
them talk so coolly of using them for
Btripes in a rag-carpet. They kept on
talking as they swept, dusted and cleaned
np the room.
"Bob says he will take tho Martin
form to work thiB year," said Jerusha,
oheerfnlly; " and ns soon as wo are
married we shall go to housekeeping in.
that little cottage oloso to tho road.
Now I must got my carpet done just as
soou as possible, for I want it in that
nice little front room. These duds of
Bon's will mako out enough rags, I
guess. His folks live so far away they
will nevor inquiro about his clothes.
Now, if it wasn't for the looks of it, we
could ask old Mother Smith about col
oring yellow; she's euro to bo hero to
day."
I was gotting very mad now, indeed.
I felt that the crisiB was near, and that
I should either die or explodo if thoy
did not let my snuff-colored suit alone.
Jerusha picked them up?I kuow it, for
I heard too buckles ami buttons jingle
?and made for the door. I tried to
shako my list and yell at her, but all in
vain. I laid there, outwardly as quiotly
ns a lamb, inwardly boiling with wrath.
It was too much ; tho deepest tranco
could not have held out ngainst the
loss of that suit. With a powerful
effort I sprang up and screamed. Jeru
sha dropped my clothes and her mother
tho dtiBtor, nnd both fled from the room
and tho honso, nover stopping till they
reached Dr. Brown's, across tho street.
With diflicnlty I managed to get my
clothes. I had jnst got them fairly on,
when Mrs. Jones and her daughter,
followed by a numerous company oi
men, women and children, camo poor
ing cautiously into the room. I sat on
my board and looked at them. Such a
scared-looking crowd was enough to
amuso nu owl, so I laughed; I knew it
was unbecoming-, but I couldn't have
helped it if they had chucked mo into
my coffin?which the undertaker was
just oarrying pnst tho window?and
buried mo tho next minute. I iaughed
till I janed tho chair out from undor
one ond of tho board, and down I went
j with a crash. Then tho dootor ventnred
' iuto the room, saying rather dubiously:
" So you are not dead yet, Ben V"
" Well, no, not esaotly," I replied,
" sorry to disappoint my friends about
tho fnneral, however."
"Yes." ho Baid, rnther absently,
" bad, rather?that is?nhora 1"
"Fooled ont of that snuff-colored
, --?r , ? 1 ? i' ?? ?:-H-'t 'S-H-t
stripe 1" I thought, as I looked fit Joru
i aha. ' ? '"' ~->i >?>? ?? :?i ?1: *t' ' ?
" Go and speak with him," said her
father, in a staid whisper. " He's got
the stamps, and you had better marry
him after all." '/}?'!
They begjah to, gather around tta amA
oongra^lafayjaejpi't my; escape./ -fi^Pr)
tioed that they cried a great deal' more
now than when I was dead. vJerusha
came and hung around my nook, (snivel
ing desphlihtoly.- I gavo h?i* aii6t"DVer>:
;gentle push, and told, her. to* wait) .nexjt
timo until I was safely buriod before
she sot her heart on my old clothes.
I'0?i*?m 80 8.*a<* 1" she saidi sweetly,
without appearing to notice what I said
about tho clothes?" that you aro not
dead, Benny, doar. My heart seemed
all withered and broken to see you
lying all cold .and white. I wept bit
terly over your palo laoe, my beloved."
' "Yes," I replied, ^ I heard you arid
Bob taking on terribly. It was alucky
dio for mb."
" Gould you hear ?" she gasped, j J
"I rather think I oonld, some," I
replied.
Sho looked toward the door, but it
was crowded full,.so sho made a dive
for the open window, and wont through
it like a'deer. Sho shut' herself up in
tho smoke-house, and would not come
out until after I had left the house.
Bob would not rill his promise of
marriage with his cousin because she
tried to mako up with me again; so
sho is living a lifo of single blessed
ness. ' jtef*. j'}
While I am writing, my wifo is out
ting up my snuff-colored clothes to mako
a stripo in a new carpet for our front
room.j
mm ????^??!?
Men Wo Don't Want to Meet.
The man who grants and gasps as he
gobbles up tho soup, and at every o(hor
mouthful seems threatened with a
ohoking fit.
The man who, having by an accident
been thrown once in your company,
makes bold to brawl your name out,
and to shake your hand profusely when
you pass him in tho street.
'The man who artiully provokes you
to play a game of billards with him,
and, though he feigns to be a novice?,
producer, his own chalk.
Tho man who can't sit at your table
on any set occasion without getting on
his legs to proposo some stupid toast.
The man who, thinking you are mu
sical, bores you with his notions on the
music of tho future, of which you know
as little as tho manic of the spheres.
The man who wears a white hat in
winter, and smokeaTa pipe when walk
ing, and accosts you as "old fellow"
just S3 you are hoping to mako a good
impression on some well-dressed lady
friends!
? Tho man who, knowing that your
dootor faces him at table, tnrns the
talk so as to set him i talking doctor's
shop.
Tho man who, with a look of nrgent
business, when you aro in a hurry,
takes yon by tho button-hole to tell you
a bad joke.
Tho man who, sitting jnBt bohind you
at tho opera, destroys half your enjoy
ment by humming all the airs.
Tho man who makes remarks on your
personal adornment, asks you where
you buy your waistcoats, and what you
paid for your dress-boot?.
Tho mau who lards hin talk with lit
tlo scraps of French and German after
his return from a continental tour.
Tho man who spoils yonr pleasure in
seeing a new play by applauding in
wrong places, and muttering in stage
whispers Iub comments on tho plot.
Aud, to llnish with, tho man who
draws back Blightly to appreoiato a
pioture, cooiy comes and stands in front
of you, and then receding also, treads
upon your toes.?Punch.
sat/r Watkk Ich.?Tho notion gener
ally prevails that when salt water freezes
tho ice is fresh, and when melted will
produce fresh water. Prof. Tyndali
states that such is tho oaso in his
"Forms of Water." But Dr. Rao,
the Arotio explorer, declares that ho
wns "never ablo to find sea iot?,
either eatable when solid or drinkable
when thawed?it being invariably too
salt." Ho adds, however, thnt when
his party found ice projecting above
tho water, and from its appoaranee in
dicating th -t it was a year or moro old,
it waH generally fresh and made good
driuking water. His theory explaining
tho faot is that the salt is not itself con
gealed, but that a concentrated brine,
imprisoned in minute cells, is retained
in tho nolid ioe. These colls communi
cating with tho other when tho ico is
lifted abovo the goneral level, tho brino
is drninod off, leaving tho mass fresh.
BKFonr. taking Jiborties with a sf rango
dog observe his tail and wait for tho
wag or?.
TUE ItlTK OF INTEREST.
i
A AV oriel of Clnniirlnl I'I.llc,-;o;)!iy tor
nioixoy Iicmicra. ,
The usual rate of interest in tho west
is ten per cent/, and it is generally bo
lievcd that this is tho correct measure
of the vatne of money. If the measure
of the value of;a commodity ie what it
will brQ%, this is true ; but if the'trae
moasur? bf^ value fa what thernrtiole can
be madij to yhpld, it} is not true.' Ex
perienced capitalists "And business:. mon
give it na their. mnturo opinion that
there p$ no kind' df property as profit
ablo as rapney loaned atj ten per cont.-p
which i? tantamount to sayinpr that the
average yield of industries, enterprises
and speculations is less than ten per
cent, on the amount invented, ,,or, in
other words, thatft money, ia not really
worth Up per cent. Thorom-o several
oonside&tiohs that'strengthen this con
clusion.,: Money loaned at ton per cent,
will doi.olo itself in seven and a half
yearn ; ten thou:}and dollars will grow
into iweAty thousand in that time, and
twenty thousand will grow into forty
thousand. ? That the Average investments
in business ventures and industries will
not do ttUs is too well known to need a
demonstration. Whilo a hundred men
who loan money at ten per cent, com
poundedj' will, with prudent* manage
ment, doublo . their fortunes in1 seven
and a half years, one hundred men who
borrow taoney at that rate will fall, in
spite of ml the prudence and foresight
they may exercise, to double thcii n. So
far from it, fifty, of them, if not more,
will break. There is nothing more
clearly established by the experience of
buainoaa than the fact that a man who
oonduotAv his enterprises on borrowed
capital?whoso only resources, or ohief
resource..', ore the products of bills
drawn on his shipments will, in four*
cases otifcof five, come to bankruptcy,
and a fanner Who mortgages his farm
for half ita value to secure money at ten
per cent, in hope that ita net, yield will
pay the interest and principal, will, in
four oases out of five,1 be sold out.
These jpjain and well known facts ap
pear u.ft:tovo that.ih? averago annual
product of money invested in com
merce, speculation, industry and agri
culture is not ten per cent., and that,
while it may bring that price, it is
really not' worth it. If all classes of
borrowers in the west could be brought
to appreciate this important faot, it
would be worth millions to this region.
There is a world of finonoial philosophy
in it. Nothing is more absurd, and, in
the long run, more disastrous than the
delusion that a man can get rich by
borrowing money to speculate on ; it is
the seorot of four-fifths of the cases of
bankruptcy that occur in business and
of the sheriffs sales that take placo in
the oojntry.?jSt\ Louis Iiopublican.
Railroads hi China.
Two very curious artioies have been
published by a Shanghai native news
paper, tho HweiPao, protesting
against tho construction of railways in
the Chinese empire. The Jlwci-JPao is
of opinion that the existence of rail
ways in Europe is too recent to admit
of a judgment being formed as to
their praotical utility, and, moreover,
that there is not sufficient business in
China to render them profitable. The
Chinese journal goes on to say that if
tea and silk are tho principal objects of
commerce, and these have hithorto been
forwarded to tho treaty ports by river
steamboats. A substitution of railways
for steamboats would not effect any
saving in poiut of time, and could not,
thereforo, oven from tho point of view
taken by tho foreigners thomsolves, be
of any sorvico to China. Admitting
that a little time was gained, the Chi
nese would not bo beneiitted, for the
goods would not bo exported more rap
idly. Thus 'the railways would only
lead to accumulation in tho ports of vast
quantitio?* of goods which, as they
could not bo shipped off all at once,
would fall considerably in price." The
Hwcl'Pao also sayB "The aooidents
on tho railway lines are very numerous,
caused by collisions, by tho ongines or
tenders taking fire, by the trains
running off tho lineB, or by tho
bridges giving way and tho trains being
preoipitated into tho rivers below. In
othor cases the carriages are injured by
the great speed at which they aro hur
ried along, and tho aooidonts are so
numerous that it is often impossible to
aso'jrtain the exact numbor of dead and
wounded. All the foreign jonrnals are
full of details concerning these aooi
dents. But, admitting that most of
thoso ORBualties aro proventible, and
that tho trains follow their regular
comrso, thoy travel quicker than tho
thorough-bred horse, and tho pooplo
walking on tlio linos would have no
time to got out of their way. From this
cau?o alone tho numbor of fatal acci
deuts would bo enormous. In all ootm
tiies whoro railways exist they are con
sidered a very dangerous mode of lo
comotion, and beyond those who havn
very'urgent business to transact, no
one thinks of using them." This latter
statement cannot as yet be accepted. in^
its entirety ;" but, unfortunately, wo
have every reason to know that,, so far,
as England is concerned, traveling by
railways is a ?* very dangerous mode of
locomotion."
-;-1
Charge of a Detroit Judge. <<t :
A NEW YF.All's CAIiIiEB.
Jolm Robinson made New Year'*'
calls. He called on n saloon-keeper, he
called for liquor, oalled the liquor good,
n ud drank enough to trip him up. Then
ho called for police; and when the police
came ho called them liars and euch.
" I was having a little fun," ho ex-'
plained,-winking at his honor.
" John Robinson, are you aware that
this is a very solemn world," said tho
court, y a world which has ten heart
aches to. ono smile? Don't you know
that tho giim shadow of grief rests
upon every doorstep, and that the tomb
stones in the cemeteries almost outnum
ber the trees in the forest ? There's
wailing in every household, John Rob
inson?tbero's grief in every heart.
And yet you olaim that you were only
having a little fun ?"
?J That's ?11, your honor?it was a
holiday."
"It was sad fun, John Robinson.
While all tho rest of ns were swearing
off and making double-back-action re
solves while you were lying at the cor
ner of an alley dead drunk. It is five
dollars or sixty days, sir, and if this
ease was before a Chicago police jndge
he'd mako it five hundred dollars or a
life sentence."
. SOME FIGURING. .
" It's the laat timo I" ? oxolaimed An
thony Book as he was brought out.
"You've decided to qnit, eh?"
" Yes, your honor?yesterday was my
last drunk. I've been counting up the
cost, and I've made up my mind to live
sober and save money after this."
-'Anthony Hock, you talk like a nsarnt*
It does me good to hear a man speak up
that way in this day and ago. It's like
finding a ten-dollar bill while one is
pawing over the clothes-basket to dis
cover where the hired girl flung his
Sunday boots. Stand right up to yonr
resolution, sir. I've been figuring a
little, and I find that if a man will stop
drinking liquor, tea and coffee, go bare
footed, steal bis wood, get trusted for
his provisions, cheat the landlord out of
his rent, stand up in chnrch to save
pow-rent and live economically in other
respectn, he con Bavo at lo.st $500 per
year. Now then, $500 per year for 400
years is 8200,000. Just think of that!
Without any effort to speak of you can
in timo be worth 8200,000. You may
go home, sir 1"
fibst joke.
Elizabeth MoNamara, a woman fifty
years old, got off the first joke of the
season when sho walked out and an
nounced that it was her first appearance
hore. Bijah laughed until his spec
tacles fell off, the clerk ''grinned like a
copper mine, and his honor stopped
paring bis apple, stuck his knife into
tho desk, and replied :
"Elizaboth MoNnmaro, tho sight of
that 'ero front door is not moro familiar
to mo than tho fact that yon have been
here somewhere! in the region of forty
timos. What's tho ohargo, this timo ? "
"Taken a drap?a bit of a little
small drap."
"I'velet you off, sent you up, ex
postulated, pleaded and threatened,
and. jet yon como back hore," he said,
" I was thinking the other day that if I
ever peered over tho desk at your
freckled nose again, and the charge
was drunkeuneBB, I'd bave you sawed
in two with a cross-out saw and the
pieces split up for kindling-wood ! "
" Don't do it, sir?send me up again."
"I Biiall make it three months."
"I don't caro?only don't saw me in
twice 1" she gasped.
" Well," ho said, after pondering
over tho oaee, " we've been to $10 ex
penso to get tho saw, and Bijah has
anticipated great fun, but I'll see what
three months will do. Go back and sit
down on tho stove-hearth until tho Blaok
Maria goes up."
couldn't stand it.
" This is Daniel Oasoy,"said Bijah as
he handed cut the last man, " and I oan
tell you why he was drunk."
" Well," *
14 Casey wasn't cober 1" continued
the old janitor.
His honor regarded him for a long
timo witkout speaking, but finally said:
" Tho prisoner can go, and, Bijah, if
you over sit down on this oourt with
another puu liko that, and aro aooi
deittly idiot next day, your friends
musn't ask mo for monoy to help buy a
monument."
SAYINGS AND DOINGS.
The military force in']k^itbWopn-(.'J
aists of 140 officers and eighteen pn-'7,:
vafce soldiers, and they talk of dfeoDS#gik,J
ing ton of the soldiers to even things up. i \U
The fact that small niokle and copper
^fagge is very scarce in California r?raa ?
recently explained by a statement that ; t
large quantities of three, and fyftVf^Afc??
pieces are annually melted thpwn fox^ tho !
purpose of manufacturing trunk' locks1..""
_ . . ' ?T' .tmrfi 5
JBV4UX qualities may a fool b^ekriown: ?
Anger without cause; speoch without"'
motive ;, inquiry without on bb'jeotp .'
putting trust in a stranger; and want- l'
ing capability to discriininate between" ?>
ufriend and a foe. -I 'Mi
* Times are hard in Spain, but the ria?'1"
iional spirit cf ^he people is not crushed ? x-f
by any means. Tho cry of the masses
is : ?'Bread and bull-fights." No stop-a ./<
of importance have been taken to pro- [ ?,
vido bread, but thoy have just inaugu
rated a 8300,000 aruphithcatro at Mad- '
rid for the bull-fighting.
A number of prominent young men in
New Orleans have organized a Bociety'>l;,
under the name of the "Young Men's'11
Monumental Association," having for
its object the erection of a monument/.nt
to tho memory of the men who fell -in,K.
defense of the popular movement of
the 14th of September. One thousand
dollars have already been subscribed.
A Yokohama correspondent saw ,
European ladies, elegantly dressed, in
rail evening costume, on their way to "
some dinner party in a baby cart drawn'
by stout coolies whoBe only clothing !
was the tattooing on their backs and
breech-cloths, four inches wide.- One
doesn't mind it after a while, but afc
first it Eeems very odd. So it did . to
see a naked coolie operating a sewing
machine.
Tub- kind of 'whisky they have in
'Frisco : After that the oloth was rook
off, and the liquors war bro't .in. And
wot liquoi s they wuz, too 1 . The whisky
wuz none o' this yer kind that makes
a man feel like sayin': ' I kin lick any
troivof a gun-in tho house,' and maken
him smash things ginernlly. No, sir. It
war the kind that jist makes a man lift
his glass gintly, and says: ' Joe, old
pard, I'm lookin' at yer.'"
The word "bonanza" has been freely
launohed upon the eea of journalism,
and is likely -to become a household
word. A Nevada paper says it is Span
ish, and means "fair weather nt sea.'
Applied to mining it means "a body of
rich ore." When a Spanish 'miner
strikes a good vain, ho replies to tho
query: 4 4 How are you getting on ? " in
his own language : 44 Oh, ir en bonan
za," whioh means in American slang:
44 Oh, we're all hunkeydory 1"
Farmers and dairymen have fr?m ?
time immemorial imagined they knew a
cattle disease called 44 horn ail" or
4 4 hollow-horn." Prof. Cressy now tolls
them it is an old wives' fable. The pro
fessor has cnt open innumerable horns
and found them all hollow. He tolls
the cow-doctors there is no such disease
as 4*hollow-horn." Tho cure practiced
is to bore into the horn and inject some
remedy. This is generally followed by
bleeding at tho nose, whioh is supposed
to be a symptom of tho disease and a
sign that the remedy is becoming effect
ive. The professor pioves by cattlo
skulls that the nasal passages aro nor
mally connected with tho hollows in
the horns, and this accounts for tho
boring and tho internal application of
tho remedy. Horned cattlo generally
will bo glad to hear that the surgery of
the gimlet is not necessary to their
health, as scarcely any of them ever got
through life without being horribly .
bored.
NonnnoFF says of the communistic
societies of the United States: 44AU
tho successful communes are composed
of what aro customarily called 4com-'
mon people.' Yon look in vairt for
highly edncatcd, refined, cultivated, or
elegant men or women.' They professi
no exalted views of humanity or doa
tiny; they are not enthusiasts ; they do
not speak much of the beautiful with a
big B. They aro utilitarians. Some do
not even like flowers; some rejeot in
strumental musio. Thoy build ?olidly,
often of stone; but they care nothing 1
for architectural effeots. Art ib not
known among them; mere beauty and
grace are undervalued, even despised.
Amusements, too, thoy do not value;
only a few communes have general li
braries, and even these are of very lim
ited extent, except, perhaps, the library
at Onedia, which is well supplied with
new books and newspapers. Tho Per
fectionists also encourage mnsical and
theatrical entertainments, and make
amusement so large a part of their
lives that they havo nearly half a dozen
coromitteea to devise and superintend
there."