Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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mm amn\ n 8XHT w WO? I UIil 1 bwnm? ? wl Urrr kixi n.ii j .bumf w*?.d ' -/(-..urn viM v. I linil i:|j^-ivi'i N ! :U i< ) nil ?,iH yt! u.ioil^tof'JjW* nil Vi I {in >'< nihp'fttA \ tu\\>> ?tii' .!?? h " n ?????. ?jKfjTTwii -it . > . T nfi ja?! h ,VitinlHi>l? ./I I -? K^^'J^M^^ .- , ? M..? Vo *'VAvVn Laililt lii/iO'iAJh lMU.i i I* h I i: V". indent; Paper Devoted to tlio Is4tfe're6t^ o* the People. AfcVtilfci: :>:t )!' ?-?? -O '.-^tn' ? ?-;?'?-^-_i ?n\.U VOLUME III. _ ORANGEB?RG, SOUTH CAROLINA, THURSDAY, OCTOBER 29, " "", ",1T 1" NUMBER M>m i.< -nil lo y.mza j . THE CADI'B BTBATAQBM. BY JOHN O. BAXB.~ A utous widow'* cottarxo ohauoed to Bland ' Uard by tbo Collf's palaco ; ami ho sought For his Own u?o to buy bor bit cf I?u5 j Bat all In vain?tbo land could uot bn bought I ... 41 It was my husband's lioma" tho woman aaid: ".Who, dying, left It to bin loving wlfo ; Hero will I dwell, in honor of tbo dead; Nor part with it until I part with lifo!" The haughty Calif M angor know no bound. That ihui) tho damo withstood him to his face; By forco bo razed her cottago to tho ground, And built a grand pavilion in its place. IV. Straight to tho Cadi thon tho woman goes, And-asks for jnstico at hin Honor's hand ; " Leave tuo awhile," tho Cadi Bald, and roao; "Allah is great, and beam your J nut den: and ! " t ,i; .*7 r ,y? t, . ?. > ? ? t . Thou, with an empty Back ho took hin way To tho pavilion ; wbero ho cbancod to moot The Calif at tbo door. " Great Sire, 1 pray A little of tho earth beneath your feet. vi. ?n b 1KB r. 3 " Enough to nil," the Cadi satd, ?< this sack." " Tlu granted," Haid tho Calif, laughing loud. " SOW inrrto io put tho load upOU liiy UsrS^ Most potent Prluco," ami rovercntly bowed. 1 ' I ( VT^1- ' " Nay." said tho^Callf; " I should surely fall H lion id I essay to lift a load bo groat; --? For such a tastt my atroiigth would not avail; A porter would bo crushed beneath tho weight 1" , ? ?'';. .*.$ . , ?. vp.;-* v " Princo of BollovorB^" eald tho Cadi, then; " If thin be oven mi, how wilt thou fare In tho great day of final Jndgment, when Tho weight uf all this laud thou hast to bear 7 " IX. Tho Calif, Btrlckon with remorse, exclaimed; " Allah is Allah I Bo his namo adored I For wit and wisdom thou art justly famed ; . This day shall boo tho widowto land restored. "And foivtho wrong I did tho womau'd land, In tearing down hor'houHo, I thtiB atone; Tbl? flno pavilion in its placo shall stand ; For with tho hoII tho building is her own," THE SEVEN SLEEPERS. For more than a thousand years tho legend of tho Seven Sleepers has been told in pious song and story. Who were those Seven Sleepers? Is it only a monkish legend, an invention of the "durkages?" or is tho story true? or has it at least an historical basis ? It was in the year of our Lord 250 that Deoiue, the most inhuman of all the Roman emperors, in his persecution of " the Christian?*, in making a tour through his provinces, arrived at Ephe BU3, in Asia Minor. Christianity had already obtained a foothold there, al though the great majority of the people still adhered to the heathen religion. Upon his arrival, the emperor ordered a soorifloial festival to be held in houor of Jupiter, Apollo and Diana. In this festival, every one was commanded to take part under the penalty of incurring the imperial displeasure'in case of re fusal. Among the Christians of the city were Beveu youths, desoendonts of noble families. Their names were Max iminian, Dionysius, Joannes, Sorapio and Constantino. Those determined to die rather than obey the mandated As soon as Deoius heard of their determin ation, he commanded them to bo brought before him. "Go," said he, " and pro 'oure incense that you may offer to the highest powers." ."The highest power," they replied, ??? has his throne in the heavens, and is the living and Almighty God, who hath created heaven and earth. Him wo worship, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, and wo can never again bow down to dumb idols that aro noth ing." ?* With torriblo glanco tho emperor measuroH the youthful confessors. Then suddenly changing his maniior, he en deavors to win thorn by his promises and his arguments. For* ho ku?w well that martyrdom would pour oil on the ilamos he was trying to qu nch. Failing to obtain his object by threats aud by promises, ho tclla them that he will graciously accord them time to consider thoir resolution until he should again return to EphoHiin, and informs them of tho terrible consequences if they Bhould still continue their stubborn resistnnoo. With a calm courage the young men departed from tho presence of tho em peror. By tho citizens of EphoBus they were proscribed; by many, however, eooxotly,.aduiired. Determined not to renounce their faith, they, howovor, de cided to avoid the monster as much as possible. With this objeot, they betook themselves 'to/u, range of mountains iu tho neighborhood of Ephesus. Thero thoy discovered a cave, the entrance of which was concealed by thick foliage. In this cavo they bid themselves, aud one of thoir number, Malchau, the ouo least known in tho city, was appointed to supply them with food. Too day of tho emperor's roturn ar rived. ?no of his ?rst questions was concerning " the stubborn youths." ?'They havo escaped," was tho reply. But their concealment hud been dis covered. Spies had followed them, and purohased the emperor's favor by re vealing the placo of concealment. Decius, knowing well that ho could not hope to change tho purposo of tho youths, gave commantl to close the mouth of the cavo by ? wall, and thus inoloso them in a living tomb. No r.oonor said thau done. There was one man, howevor, who, though still a heathen, had heard the gospeland was not far from the kingdom of God. Desiring that future genera tions might know whose bones rested there, ho todlc a roll of parohmont and writing on it tho names of the youths, and an account of their courageous bearing, inclosed it in an iron casket, and, unobsorved by tho workmen, slip ped it into the cave and then quietly withdrew. ? Many a scoffing "good night" was oallod after thorn by tlio bftital pop > laco ,fchat evening in the utreot of Epue BU8, v Many ft tendor "good night" did tho christians'send aftor tliom in thoir prayers. And he who preserved David in tho cave of Adullam, and rescued Daniel fx ?m tho den of lions, heard their prayer. Tho light ?f day had for them faded away. But they remembor, " He give.th his beloved Bleep." They lay themselves down and slept. Soft is their, slumber andiicdaiigcs is fnlgh. It is as though holy angolB had en camped round about .them. Wo will leave them to their sleep and write over them on the dark rook the words of David : V How excellent isv thy loving kindness, O God ! therefore the ohd dreu of men put their trust under the shadow of thy wings." Time passes on swift wings. Genera tions come and go like phantom spirits. About 187 years later we are again in Ephesus. But how changed, is the scene! Dec-ius, the tyrant, is mold e r ing in the grave. The world is com pletely ohanged. A wealthy land own er desires to make some improvements oh hiB estate. In searching for suitable building material, he finds an old wall with large square stones. The blocks are easily removed and the mouth of a Seven Sleepers, whose history has long since passed into oblivion. The rays of light entering for the first time after so many years awakened the you tho. They thanked God that deliverance nad come so soon. For thoy supposed but a sin gle night had passed since they were immured. Malohus was again sent to tho oity for bread. But the way seemed vory strange to him. And what was his as tonishment to find over the'Very gates of the oity a glittering cross. In the city itself ho oan scarcely trust his senses. The imagos of the gods were removed. In the plaoe of the heathen templo he notices buildings with proud domes and glittering crosses. And. in the forum he hears the witnesses swear by tho omnipotent God, yes, even by the name of Christ, ins tend of Diana and Apollo. He thinks it is a dream. Accosting a man on the street, he asks him the name of the oity. " The name of tho city is Ephesus," was the reply. "Can it bo that this is Ephesns, where but a few days ago we were proscribed by tho imperial edict,'.' was the thought of Malohus. But mindful of his errand he enters a baker's shop and offers in payment for the bread a silver coin. The'baker took the coin and'carefully examined it. "This is a very ancient ooin," said he; V why, it bears the im age of DeoiuB/ Where did you obtain it?" "Where ia Deoius?" was the reply of MalolniB. "Has he left the city, and if ho, when? " The baker and the orowd that had meantime gathered, looked at Malohus' and seemed, to re gard him as one who had l?st his roa con. Ono of; them demanded to know whero ho had discovered tho hidden treasure. Finally MalohuB was taken before tho bishop of the oity. The bishop was a reverend and dig nified man. In a kind manner ho asked Malchus who he was and whence he came. Malohus replied that he was one of the seven youths who, bad re cently been immured in' the grotto at the ,command of the Emperor DeohiB, but that the Lord thoir God had again given thorn light and freedom. "The Emperor Deoius ? It' is ? nearly 200 years since Dooisus sat upon the throne. Theodosius now reigu? by tho* grace of God. Heathendom has long since fallen. Tue cross is everywhere vioto riouB. But tell me, whero are your six companions ? Show us the cave." . Thus spoke tho bishop. And Mal chufl led him to tho cave, followed by an immense eonoourse of Christians. In tho cave thoy found tho iron casket with the parchment roll, containing a full account of their history; ? For two centuries the youths had slept, and now thoy awoke to see a regenerated world. The bishop hastened to send an ac count of tho matter to Theodosius at Constantinople. The omperor himself hastened to Ephesns to .behold, the wonder. But the youths, obedient to an inner voice, in the samo hour that Malohus returned, had again lnid down and tho Lord took their souls to heavon. Two Chinese students wore admitted Tuosday to the Ynlo collego soientiflo department. They paBBed the?" examin ation most credibly, and gavo promiso of superior scholarship. There are now sixty Chinese students supported by their government in Connecticut and Massachusetts. Thirty came two years ago, thirty arrived a year since, and thirty more are ozpeoted in about a fortnight. So far their deportment has boon excel lent and their progress quite remarkable. The students are . placed at first in families, two in a placo, whero thoir first, aim is tho mastery of onr lan guage. They are all under strict super vision, and spend each from two to fonr weeks a year at the "headquar ters" of the Chinese edncationnl com mission in Hartfor , whero they are carefully examined as to their habits and progress. Scattered in some twen ty or thirty different towns, these boys have everywhere been favorites. The kindness with whieh thoy -have been treated has been gratifying to the com mission here and to tho Chinese govern ment at home.?Boston Traveler. - . " ?A four-year?old wept to a black* smith's to see his father's horse shod, and watohed closely the work of shoeing until tho blacksmith commenced paring tho horse's hoofs, when; thinking tbis was wrong, he said earnestly, " My pa don't want this horse made any smaller." ?A Kansas paper wants to know who Noah?s father and mother were, and why it was that thoy haven't received any high honors. There's always sun thin'?always snnthin'. Chinese Studonts. " ONE SHELL LEFT." A Confederate Story, wltn Itw Clone at Cold Mnrbor. At a recent political gathoring in Tus oumbia, Ala.. Gen. .Gullen A. Battle re* lated tho following touobing story in the course of bis speech ; During the winter of 1863-4 it was my fortune to bo ? president of one of the courts-martial of the army of northern Virginia. One bleak December " morn ing, while the snow covered the ground and the winds howled around our camp, lieft my bivouac fire to attend the ses sion of the court. Winding for mi lea along uncertain paths, I at length ar | rived at the court-ground at Bound Oak I church. Day after day it had been our duty to try tho gallant soldiers of that army, oharged with violations,of .^mili tary law; but never had I on any pre vious occasion been greeted - by suoh anxious spectators as On, that morning, awaited too. opening of the court. Oase after oaso was disposed of, and at length the case of " The Confederate states vs. Edward Cooper," was called?charge, desertion. A low murmur roBO sponta neously from the battle-Bcarred specta tor^ as a young artillery-man rose from tho prisoner's bench, and, in response to the question, "Guilty or not guilty ?" answered, " Not guilty." Tho judgo advocate was proceeding to open the prosecution, when the court, observing that the prisoner was unat tended by counsel, interposed and in quired of the accused, "Who is your counsel?" He replied' "I have no counsel." Supposing that it was his purpose to represent himself before the court, the judge advocate was instructed to proceed. JEJvory charge was sus tained. The prisoner was then told to introduce his witnesses. He replied, " I have no witnesses." Astonishea at the calmness with which ho seemed to be submitting to what he regarded as inevitable fate, I said to him, "Have you no defense ? Is it possible that you abandoned your comrades and deserted your, colors in the presence of the enemy without, any reason?" He re plied, " There was a reason ; but it will not avail me before a military court." I said : " Perhaps you are mistaken ; you are oharged with the highest crime' known to military law, and it is your duty to make known the causes that, in fluenced your actions." For the first time his manly form trembled, and his blue eyes swam in tears. Approaching the president of tho courfe-htf'-prwwnteCt" a letter, saying as he did so, ** There, genoral, is what did it." * I opened the letter, and in a moment my eyes filled with tears. It Was passed from one to another of the court until all had seen it, and those' stern warriors who had passed with Stonewall Jackson throngh a hundred battles wept like little chil dren. Soon as I sufficiently recovered my self-possession, I read the letter as tho defense of the prisoner. It was in these words: Mt Dear Edwabd?I have always boon {>nmd of yon, and Binco your connection.with ho Confederate army I have boon prouder of you than over, before.. I would not havo yon do anything wrong for tho world; but boforo God, Edward, tuiIcbb you cocao home wo tnhBt die t Last night I wae arousod by little Ed dio's'crying. I called and Bald :' " What's tho mattor,*Eddio ?" and hen aid : "Oh, mamma, I'm bo hungry!" And Lucy, Edward, your darling Lucy, idio never oomplaine, but aho is growing thinner and thinnor ovory day. And boforo God, Edward, unions, you como homo wo muet dlo. ? YOUR MARY. Turning to tho prisoner, I asked : " What did yon do when you received this letter?" He replied : "I made ap plication for a furlough, and it was re jected ; again I made application, and it was rejected ; a third time I made ap plication, and it was rejected, and that night, as I wandered backward and for ward in the oamp, thinking of my home, with tho mild eyos of Lucy looking up to mo, and tho burning words of Mary sinking into my brain, I was no longer tho Confederate soldier, bnt I was the father of Lfaoy and the husband of Mary, and 1.-would have passed those lines if evory gun in tho battery had fired upqn mio, I went to my homo. Mary ran ont to meet me, her angel arms embraced me, and sho whispered, ' Oh ! Edward, I am so happy! I am so glad you g?t your furlough 1' She must have felt 50? shudder, for she turned palo as death, and, catching her breath r.t overy wprdV she Baid, * Have you come without your furlough? ? 1 Ed ward, Edward, go back ! go back ! Let mo and my.ghildrou go down together to tho grav0(.b?t ?, for heaven's sake, savo tho honor ?i>? our name I' And here I am, gentlemen, not brought hero by i military powe#S but in obedience to the command of wMary, to abide the son tenhe of your oourt." Every officer of that court-martial felt the force.'of tho prisoner's words. Boforo them 'stood, in beatific vision, the oloquent pleader for a husband's and a father's wrongs; bnt thoy had been trained- , by their great loader Bobort E.'Ifee, to troad tho path of duty, thalfW the lightning's flash scorched th? ground beneath thoirfeet, and eaoh in 'Jus turn pronounced the verdict?gttiUy. Fortunately for hu manity, fortunately for tho Confedera cy, tho proceeding.! of the court were reviewed by the commanding general, and npr-u tho record was written : Tfi'ADtll'ABTKRH, A. V. V. Tho finding of the court id approved. The prieonor is pardoned and will report to his company. R. E. LEE, Goneral. During'the second battle of Cold Harbor, when shot and shell were fall ing " like torrents from tho mountain oloud," my attention was directed to the fact that one of our batteries was being Bilonced by tho c.meant rated fire of tho enemr.' When T ronohed tho battery every gun but one had been diomantled, and by it stood a solitary Confederate lumber, with th? blood streaming from his sido. As he recognized me he olo voted hift voioo above the' roar'of battle and said, "General,' I have one shell loft. Toll me, hav<) X saved tho honor of Mary .and Lii?y ?'' I raised my hat. Onoe mpre a Confederate shell went crashing through the ranks of the ene my, and" tho hero sank by his gun to rise no more. '' ? :Mil-* ?: ;.- -1?: t M Splendid Description.;. u nl On a pertain occasion one Paul Den ton, a Methodist preacher in Texas, ad vertisod'ft barbecue, with'bettor liquor than is J&sually.'furnished. When .tho people n;'?ombled, a desperado in the crowd cr^ed out: *'Mr. Paul Denton,; you reverence has lied. You promised not only a good barbecue, but better liquor. Where's the liquor?" " There; 1" answered the missionary, in tonetiof/ thunder, and pointing his long, bony finger at the matonlessdouble spring, gushing up in two long columns with a sound like a shout of joy from thebosomof the earth. "There!" he ropeatod/with a look terrible as light ?iD^, w?m? HIS ???my ??iu?iiy iruinuIOii at his fee-.;," there is the liquor which God tho: eternal brews for all hiB ohil-. dren. Not in the simmering otill, over smoky fires choked with poisonous gas es,, and sjjjrrcundod with ?the stenoh of sickening, odors and corruption, doth your Father in heaven prepare tho pre ? oious essence of life?puro cold water. But in thje gl ado and grassy dell, where' tho deer v.'audera and the child loves to play, ther^-God brews ItV and down, away down in the deepest valleys, where tho fountain murmurs, and the . rills sing; and high up' on the mountain tops, where; tho naked granite glitters like golden the sun, where the stoxm>, donas brood and the thunder-storms crash; anil out on the'wild; wild eon, where the hurricane howls music and the big waves roar in chorus, .sweeping tho march, of God?there He brews it? the beverage of life, health-giving water. And every where it is a thing,of beauty, glnnning in the dew-drop,. singing in the summer rain, Shining'in the iee gem, till; they seem tnrned to living jewels; spreading a. golden veil over tho setting sun, or a white gauze around the midnight moon ; sporting in ' the ?cataract; sleeping in glacierj dancing in the hail shower; folding its bright curtains softly around the wintry world, and weaving tho many-colored iris, the seroph'B zone of the air, whose warp is in the vaiu-dropa of tho earth, and whoso woof ia ii'^f bn sunbeams of heaven, all oheckered over with the celestial flow ers of the mystic hand of refraction? that blessed fife-water. No poison bub bles on its brink; its foam brings not madness and murder; no blood stains its liquid glass ; pale widows and starv ing ohildren weep not burning tears in its depths! Speak out, my friends? would you exchange it for the demon's drink, alcohol ?" A shout like the roar of the tempest answered?"No!" How Destruction of the Forest Growth Affects a Country* ? . mi The Khanate of Bokhara*) affords a signal illustration of the damage done by denuding a country of its trees. Thirty, years ago the Khanate was one of the most fertile provinces of Central Asia, and, well-wooded and watered, was regarded as an earthly paradise. Five years thereafter a mania for forest clearing broke out among tho inhabi tants, and continued to rage as long as there remained timber to vent itself. What trees wero spared by rulers and people wero utterly consumed during a civil war. The consequence of this ruthless destruction of the forest growth is now painfully manifest in tho im mense dry and arid wastes. The water courses have become empty Channel? and the system of canals constructed for artificial irrigation and supplied from the living streams has bt en ren dered useless. The sands of tho des ert, no longer restrained by forest bar riers, are gradually advancing and drifting over the land. They will con tinue their noisoloas invasion until the whole Khanate will become a dreary desert, as barren as the wilderness sep arating it from Khiva. It is not sup posed that tho Khan haa sufficient en ergy or the means at his command to arrest tho desolation that now threatens to spread over his territories. Tho exam ple is one to] stimulate enlightened gov ernments to avoid a similar catastrophe by preserving a duo proportion of for est land in their domains, and by res? toring those which have been improvi dent ly laid bare. Cost of tho Gorman-Franco War. The war of 1870 ooat France ?371, 000,000, to whioh ?178,000,000 may be added as the value of the ceded terri tory. Of course the oost to tho North German Confederation was muoh less, as thoir troops operated in the enemy's count ry and tho commissariat was much better managed than with the French. The oost to Germany has been officially stated as ?47,000,000, but when peace was oonoluded the treasury was empty, and had it not been for the French in demnity a new loan' would have been necessary. The ?6,000,000 of the Ger man war ohesfc and tho' ?68,000,000 of the war loan must, therefore, have been exhausted. Compared with other mod ern wars, the cost of the Franco-German war, on tho whole, was moderate, inas much as private compensation is in olnded?seven millions on the Gorman and twenty four millions on tho French side, I _ ?A pipe is now being laid for the conveyance of petroleum from tho oil well a of Millerstown, Pa., to tho Balti more and Ohio railroad, a distance of forty milcB. Tho pipe is three inches in diameter, and its capacity 4,000 bar rels per day. EDITING A;PAPERv1:'! *5 ?The Positive?? StylTtn tlie Local fetf parlinent. I don't suppose that another man ever lived like that Ohio editor who lifted me out of the bank end of an omnibus one night, led hie up five pairs of nt air a and undertook to toll mo how I was to assist in running the' local department of the paper. ; You see," said he, jab bing at a oockrpaph with the shears, " you want to" bo positive in what you say; folks here won't believe any of your suppose ad's and allegations. !; SAy what you say hi,words that can't be dis puted ; or, if thoy arO disputed, send the fellow into the other room- and I'll fix him." Ho was a great man for fun ; he never laughed himself, but he had a high appreciation for humor. ' He was always wanting me' to get off soraothing sharp on some one, no matter who, and. he ran* me so muoh C had. to quit.' For ins tan oo he came down one morning and said : " Now, Charles, get off a hit on ?Tiiiiu.ri Grosar." "Why,, sir, the old man died years ago." " No matter, no; matter," he went on, " get off nomc -thing or I'll discharge you." As $75 a yoar was an objeot to-me then, T handed in a pretty big item. 1 "That's good, that's positivo," he replied* and in- it went. The paper hadn't been out an hour, before a (dozen were crowding in after an : explanation, "la" your ? name Cn;gar ?'* asked the old man of each in turn. " No." " Well, then, who's run ning this Crosar business ? 'Ain't I here to disseminate knowledge? Don't I do: her ?" And he finally throw another sheet on the "points." "Now, Charles," said-ho again,' "get. off a i i lick) i on i George ?, Wa?i}ngton? something under a lively head-line." "But he's been written up," I replied: "No matter?get off ? something,*br. here's my note of hand-for. the balance due you." As, his note, of hand' 'was rather a good thing to keep, I dug out a severe thing under the head of:" Bra-; tal Outrage.". There, was a Wnshing tonian society in town, and half its members were rushing up staira before the edition was: half] -*a vl?a8? wretch," shouted the president... ''?TjJaV lumniat?r of-genius'," squeaked''the old* maid secretary. ??. ? "i Vfle; rasoali' * hissed a young man, with his hair behind his ears. " Gentlemen and old maid, " be gan the editor, as he rolled up his sleeves, " why am I here? If any of you know more about George Wash'-' ington than 1 do, why jurfc take and.run this office." "And they had to go away with their minds in an unsettled state. Another time, when he had run over a whole volume of ancient history with out finding one to hit, says he, "Get off something on me." That's just what I wanted, and I wrote:' "We; want wood on subscription to this pa per. Some of our subscribers prom ised to pay for their paper1 in wood more than ten years ago, and it's about time they brought it in. We want wood?wood?wood." It was in July, an3 there were thirteen loads of wood in front of the office before noon. Thoy got there about the same time, and' thirteen farmers came up in a body. "Gentlemen," said the old man, after they had stated their errand, " wood is wood; 'wood' is a noun; riB bra verb, and ' wood ' is n noun again. Tho ob jective Jcaso governs the requirements of the adverb, which is the posses sive of thirteen loads, according to chapter sevonty-one, rule three.". And every time they went to say any thing about wood he got that off at them, until they all went down' in a body threatening to vampire him at tho first opportunity. The lost thing I havo any recollection of was "getting off something" on the mayor of the town. Ho went by bid Sykes one evening without nodding, and I had no sooner en tore d the offioe than I hoard, "Go for Muggs; give it to him hot; yank him all to pieces, and leavo his shattered remains hanging to the steeple of the court-house.". " But ho?," I began, when Sykes oamo close up to him, breathing hard, and says he, "Young man, go for Muggs. I hate to part with yon, but Smith offers to fill your situation for a dollar less?" So I sat down to do up Muggs. Sykes was going away, and he left me to my judg ment. I wroto an article that I thought would please the old man for pqriitiv ness; and it went under a triple heading. I was jnst looking up the paste pot in the burglar-proof safe to keep it from the rats, when I heard a yelling on the streetand the office door oame in on mo. I saw stars, comets, spots on the sun, now moons, and " oamo to" in tho next town, when I sont the following dispatch to the old man: " If you can pay your board bill stay where you are. The press is rained. The long primer is in Hardy's horse-pond. The mailing table, the bank, and the now job rack wont over the dam last evening. " Things ain't as they was. We made a big hit on Muggs, and ho retaliated powerfully. I have hired out to a quiet old farmer here, and I think I shan't pursue tho 'get-off' business any furthor." Bi about two months I got a reply. Here is all that was said: "Young man, al ways be positive in your assertions."? Detroit Free Press. ?A professional man not far from State street, Boston, returning to his offioe one day, inter a substantial lunch, said complacently to his. assistant: "Mr. Pitkin, the world looks differ ently to a man wh< n bo has three inohes of rum in him," "Yes," replied the junior, without a moment's hesitation, "and ho looks different to the world." ?As a white garment appears worse when a little Boiled than does a colored one, so does a small fault in a good man attract more attention than a groat offence in a bad man. pacts; Xnd fan?ib6.v tVT |jT{A Vermont woman ha? forwarded five bibles to the grasshopper Btifforers. i I ?t<?The 'honeymoon is alft-?WeU;a enough," Baid a prudent belle, "but what I want to see beyond that is the ? promise of a' fine harvest-moon;" '>ni*t . ?-A'. saloon-keeper; in Joffersonville, Ind., has sued Mrs. M.; A... Johnson, editor of the Agitator, a temperance pspcr, for calling hiB saloon a " murder mil).Damages are lain at $2,000; iuot xl -&Ot tht ton* > marshals now on i the h Frenoh army liat, one came from the Polytechnic sohool, two from the Schooln5 of St. Oy r, and oho ros o from 'the ranks? n i ,Of the three hundred and fourteen gen? orals now in active service, eighteen gen erals of division and thirty two brige>? diers have risen from the wnfcfc.M'ii.'r.do'iq ,; frrAPenhsylyaiu>m^ of peanuts at one shelling, and then, in . the beautiful language of -Tyndnll, ? > *?} faded like a streak of moraine cloud, into the. infinite azure, of. thej ?p. jptx" it His frionds, possessed of that tbuchirlg"" delicacy - and ? th onghtf uIugsb which ab j stays characterized thoibestowal of mor tuary honors in1 Pennsylvania, buried 7 > i iLyAn; ? unpublished romance of j Alex? if) andor Dnmas, tho father,, ia known :to ? exist, aud may ehortly ba giveu to tho pribfia It has a peculiar' hisl?ry"";*"' "?n* 'mas,' th?ntrh' he Tooeived a great deal-of:; { rAe)niey, never retjuned .mnob,., And ,he, - wi?hod late in'life to provide'for a third' child1, an'illegitimate' daughter,'*' Who; was likely to he.;left penniloBSjip, x ?case of his, death. He wroto this ro- f manoe, therefore,' for'her fortune,' an d : certainly she ib well provided" for.'? ei il } ! ?-Ioe ? signal b 'are now used upon'tho Atlantic, by meana of which a passing ship can indicate to another tho pre sence and position of ice. Tho ensign, indicates berg ice, the Union Jack field , ice, and at night lights are used. These, flags correspond with an ice-chart,1 ?H-? .vided; into > degrees! of longitudo and half; degrees [ of. latitude.,,, Ice is the . greatest danger to be'dreaded on tho Atlantic. Such a precaution-! a* thin . - cannot fail to be'of great advantage; j --^A farmer took his wife to a grand concert and after listening with apparent ' enjoyment, 'the pair became suddenly interested in one of the grand choruses, M All we, like sheep, have gone astray!" -First, a sharp soprano voice exclaimed : "All we, liko sheep?" Next, a deep voice uttered, in the most earnest tone : "All wo, liko sheep?" Then all the singers at once asserted : " All we, like sheep--" ? MWell, I don't," ex-;, claimed old Runticns to his partner. "I like beef and baoon, but'^''oariT " bear sheep meat 1" irio ni noiiqm ) s^-A writer in the St. Paul :Presa. tella a new, story of Horace Qreeley. Horace wrote a note to a brother editor' in New '1 York whose writing was cqnnlly illegi ble with his own. The recipient of the . note not being ablo to read it, sent it ." back by the same messenger to Mr;iJ Greeloy for eluoidation. Supposing it to be tho answer to his own note, Mr. Greeloy looked over it but likewiBo waa unable to read it, and said to the boy : " Go, take it back "What does the d?d fool mean?" "Yes, said the boy, " that' is just what ho says." 1 1'' ; ?A Detroit gentleman who purchased i a box of peaches at the Central market, the other day, looked around for a boy who would carry them home, and pres ently ho found a ragged lad seated on n i benoh eating the last remnant of a pear. The man asked him if, he wouldn't like to earn ten cents by carry in g the box to snob a number and street, and the boy promptlv replied that he wouldn't. ?? Why queried the man. 4?Wh*r*? > echoed the boy, "because dad died the other day and now I'm head of the family, and now'd I look Inggin' peaches around I* ?It's funny, says Grade Greenwood, to boo how few women who go to Colo rado know how to dress for snoh rough expeditions. Sho has seen more than ' one dainty dame set forth for the can ons olad in silk, with laoe and dia monds. She noticed the other day, in a party starting for Pike's Peak, a pret-. ?. ty young girl, moat ooquettishly attired, and carrying in her soft-gloved hand the last new novel. Suoh flimsy pre parations and slight provisions for as- , oending that awful trail aid daring the winds and tempests of the dreary sum mit makes one sad. ?A London girl, who advertised re cently for a husband, requested her host of correspondents to bo present in tbe pit at the Drury Lane theater, on the following evening, dressed in a blue eoat, white pantaloons, and scarlet coat, and immediately on the conclusion of the first act to stand upon the benches, flourish a white hanflkerohief in one hand, and apply a glass to tho right eye with the other. When the curtain foil, fifty men, from giddy youth to giddier old age, stood up in tho prescribed uni form, and began the eye-glass and hand kerchief performance, amid convulsions ; of laughter from a large portion of tho spectators, who were in tho secrot. ?A friend a snared Mark Twain that it was policy to feed a cold and starve a fever. He says: "I had both. So I thought it best to fill myself up for the cold, and let the fever starve awhilo. in a case of this kind I seldom do things by halves?I ate pretty heartily. I conferred my onstom upon a stranger, who had just opened his restaurant on Oortland street, near the hotel, that morning, paying bo muoh for a full meat. He waited near me in respeotful silence until I bad finished feeding my cold, when ho inqnired if the people about New York were muoh arHioted with colds. . I told him I thought they were. He then went out and took iri .his sign."