The sun. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1937-1972, January 18, 1952, Image 7
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NEWBERRY. S. C.
VIRGIL
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TD B£ A >AlSSlOMACV
AM X WANT TO
erruoy ft •
-vohat oo
THE/ CO
?
A«NT
COMlNJ'f' HE'S
LEAPMIH* HOW
TO MAKE. AN&tUS
OUTOPPBOPLE
rCH-
By Leu KleU
SUNNYSIDE
by Clark SI Maas
Ta
^giijAU it wwauw
ENVY
WHO
NOW/
V WELL I TVONkC
MS VAOJCE IS
TERKIBLB!
“V
VES*
OE THE
HE'S GOT/
•#
RIMIN' TIME
M Ati'tiXy.-.-'pi-i
By POSEN
oC Blotz is just a windbag.
yBUT at VOTE FOR HIM AGAIN-
Re-elect
BLOTZ?
Z
MV WIFE Wia VOTE FOR DlNKELBUSH-.
\^SHE THINKS HE'S GREAT-BUT THEN^
TZDCP
Dinkeibush
For Mayor
THESE WOMEN DON'T KNOW POLITICS
THAIS JUST A FIELD FOR MEN—
y
THEM DAYS ARC GONE
FOREVERf
BESSIE
FOR GOOD HEALTH
WELL.
by nick mm
MUTT AND JEFF
THATS STRANGE l
f I CANT FIND MV
(SOCK I MID UNDER
THE MATTRESS/
OH. JEFF/
DID VOU
.see
DONT
TALK
TOME!
m
WHY r*
WHATS
MATTER?
Ill" 11 "
wwy?
WHAT DID
DOF
VOU
LIED
TO
ME!.
THATS
WHY!
By Bud Fisher
VEHj YOU SAID \
THERE WAS NO
SANTA CLAUS!
AH 'LOOK WHAT
I FOUND
UNDER OUR
MATTRESS//
“T^
MOTHER WORRIES
There was once a young lady
who went to work in a federal gov
ernment office in Washington. She
was proud of her job so she wrote
her parents about it.
“I work,* he wrote, “in the data
analysis group of the aptitude test
sub-unit of the division of occupa
tional analysis and managing tables
of the bureau of labor utilization of
the War Manpower commission
which is under the office of emer
gency management."
Mother wired: “Come homeH
Clarification
'•How about two of’them?” asked
the druggist of the man who was
buying a toothbrush. “One for your
wife?”
“No, thanks. When I buy a new
one, I always give her the old one.”
He paused while several other
customers in the store gasped, and
then he added: << She uses it to clean
her shoes.”
Qoing Up!
Customer—“What! Five hundred
dollars for that antique? Why, I
priced it last week and you said
three hundred and fifty.”
Dealer—“Yes, I know; but the
cost of labor and materials has
gone up so!”
LITERAL
f
fa*
YS IDEA OF BRINGING
A PET MONK TD A LECTURE *
ITS SIMPLE. TEXDM6
t KEEPS*
AWAKE/
s
YEOW
SOTDCMNi
By Arthur Pointer
WYLDE AND WOOLY
\«f/
J
LAS VEGAS |
<2. MILES
hmmmmmmm/
SMOKE SIGNALS/
p;
CAM you DECIPHER
WHAT THAT SAYS,
WOOLY?
By Bert Thomas
ITSAYSsotb,
RUSSIA! WERE LOADED!
To the soldiers patroling the pa
rade grounds , the sergeant’s order
was explicit: ^Piek up Everything
that isn’t growing.” . w .
Hardly had the order been given,
when two eager beaver privates
espied a pretty girl of about seven
teen tripping gracefully across the
freshly-cut lawn. They made after
her with alacrity. Alacrity didn’t
have a chance.
The sergeant’s whistle shrilled.
‘•Lay off, men!” he shouted. “That's
still growing 1”
THE SHOE FITTED
In Rumania, the secret police are
often the target for underground
humor. There is the story of the
unhappy Rumanian shuffling down
a Bucharest street muttering to
himself, “Those dirty, rotten, low-
down, no good so and sos.”
A heavy hand fell on bis shoulder,
and a minion of the secret police
stopped him.
“Come along,” the policeman
says, “You’re under arrest tor trea
sonable utterances against the au
thorities.”
The citizen was indignant. “The
authorities!” he cried. “Why, I
never even mentioned them.”
“No,” says the pop, ‘but you de
scribed them perfectly.”
Both Agree
She—“I remember the time when
you were just crazy to marry me.”
He—“So do I, but I didn’t realize
it at the time.”
Corses, Foiled Again!
The journalism exam asked for
definitions of some printing terms.
Bewilderment showed in the stu
dent’s face as he pored over “cur
sive.” In desperation, he scratched
out the final “ve” and added: “ng—
what I feel like doing right now!”
No Beauty
Housewife—“I don’t like the looks
of that codfish.”
Storekeeper—“WeU, if you want
looks, why don’t you buy a gold
fish?”
NOUVEAU RICHE
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Basket Makes a Towel Pocket
Wheel Doily for Shower Gift,
;3$SS&,
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A fabulously wealthy individual
was bragging to his friend about all'
the money he had accumulated and
all the things in life he enjoyed.
*Tve got a limousine with a
chauffeur,” he said.
“So what?” his friend said. “Lot’s
of people have chauffeurs.”
“I have a country house with 50
rooms,” the rich man said.
“So what?” the friend answered,
“Lots of homes have 50 rooms.”
“I have an 18-hole golf course,”
the millionaire persisted.
“So what?” the friend said. ‘Tve
heard of lots of people who have an
18-hole golf course.”
“Inside the house?” the rich guy
cried.
Something Else
The prison visitor was going
round the cells, and was asking
rather fatous questions, “Was it I
your love of drink that brought you
here?” she asked a prisoner.
“Lor’, no, miss,” replied the
man, “you cnn’t get nothin’ here!”
Fresh Kid
Young Lady (at counter)—*T want
to see some gloves.”
Clerk—“What kind, kid?”
Young Lady — “Sir, how dare
you!”
Wise Gny
An old lady who could not see eye
to eye with the taxi-driver on the
question of fare, finally remarked:
“Don’t you try to tell me anything,
my good man. I haven’t been riding
in taxis for five years for nothing.”
“No,” replied the driver, “but I
bet you had a blarsted good try!”
DIPLOMAT
IM
"I want to send somebody some poison ivy!*'
"I don't blame.Mugsy for breaking Tier New
Year's resolution to give up men ... someone
asked her for a date!"
Hot Stuff
Customer—“Are those eggs strict
ly fresh?”
Grocer (to his clerk)—“Feel of
those eggs, George, and see if
they’re cool enough to sell yeL”
Paid the Price
“What’s the matter up at Torn**
house?”
- “They’re taking ’im away in the
ambulance for heatin’ ’is missus.”
GETTING ACTION
It’s an old story about the ball
game being umpired by a runt of
a fellow. An enormous player was
at the plate and an equally large
catcher stood behind him. The
count was one and one. The little
umpire watching the pitch sizzle
across tbe comer, yelled, “Two!”
“Two what?” snarled the catch
er, mashing his mask into the um
pire’s face.
“Yeah, two what?” growled the
batter, raising his bat.
The umpire looked from one brute
to the other, and said: “Too close
to tell!”
NOT SIRE
Office Boy (nervoualy) —
“Please, sir, 1 think you’re
wanted on the ’phone.” s
Employer—“You think! What’s
the good of thinking?”
“Well, sir, the voice at the
other end said, ‘Hello, lo that
you, you old Idiot?’ ”
The little man was pushing his
cart through the crowded aisles of
the big supermarket
“Coming through,” he called mer
rily. No one moved.
“Gangway,” he shouted. A few
men stepped aside.
He ruefully surveyed the situa
tion, thought ti minute, and shouted:
“Watch your nylons.”
The women scattered.
50-50 CHANCE
The teacher was testing the
knowledge of the kindergarten
class. Slapping a half doUar on
the desk, she said sharply,
“What Is that?” Instantly, a
voice from the back of the row
said, “Tails.”
To The Letter
Caller—“Is the boss in?”
New Office Boy—“Are you a
salesman, a bill collector or a
friend of his?”
Caller—“Tm all three.”
Office Boy—“The boss is in con
ference. He is out of town. Step to
and see him.”
m
■
59421
A WONDERFUL way to dress up
your bath towels—a<jd a cro
cheted basket which serves ps a
handy washcloth holder. Popular
pineapple motifs worn up quickly,
and there’s an edging to match. ’
Pattern No. S942 consists ol complete
crocheting Instruction^ material require
ments. stitch Illustrations and finishing
directions. ,
Pattern Envelope No. a
complete, accurate, easy-t
cheung instructions and si
tions. »
SEWING cmcue
367 West Adams JBt..
Enclose 20c In coin for
tern. Add 5c for 1st
desired.
Pattern No. ••««««*•«
Name (Please
street Address or P.O. Box
—EI5 1
■sai ,ii
Util Budget
vtitL C
msr-.y-iYn i to
Within!
tatrP
cwitfc •
Pound for pound, yore
people use more Clabber
Girl than any other Bak
ing Powder.
Here's WHy: Clabber dirVt
balanced double action takes
the guess-work out of bak
ing ... a uniform rise to
mixing bowl lightness: a
positive rise to oven pcrfeo
3 table
Jj cups sifted all
purpose flour
2 ,Clai
Baking Powder
$ teaspoon salt
Sift flour, baking powder and salt into-
mixing bowl. Cut in shortening until mix
ture resembles corn meal. Add milk and
stir to make soft dough that can be hand
led. Scrape ball of dough onto lightly
floured board. Knead slighty. then roll
into circle a little less than one-fourth
$ cnp milk (af
Butter or
Prepared ms
6 frankfurters
inch thick. Cut dough into six pie-shaped
tion in texture and flavor. wedges. Spread each wedge with butter or
margarine and prepared mustard. Lay
frankfurter on end of dough opposite
point. Roll up and press point to seal
dough. Place point-side down on cookie
sheet. Bake 12 to IS minutes in a very hot
oven (450° FJ. Serve hot with catsup or
chili sauce.
—