The sun. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1937-1972, January 04, 1952, Image 7
No Worry
Kind old lady, seeing boy smoking
►-“Sonny, you had better stop that
or you'll never grow up to be Presi
dent."
Boy—“That’s all right, lady. I’m
a Republican anyway."
SUGGESTION
fv
> family was getting into a new
hou^e. All the effects were moved
by truck except a grandfather’s
clock which the husband, who was
a lover of antique^ decided to tote
himself. As he staggered around the
corner with it, he bumped into an
Englishman.
“Aw, Hi say, old fellaw, wouldn’t
it be more convenient, to carry a
watch, now?” asked the visitor
from overseas.
Net Satisfied
Gal One: Your fiance is charm
ing; he has that certain some
thing.” v
Gal Two: *1 know, but. father
wishes he had something certain.’
Prescription
Patient: Doctor, what I need
is something to pep me up, some
thing to get me in a fighting mood.
Did you put anything like that in
this prescription?
Doctor: No. You will find that
in the bill
PEEPECT CUBE
Jake: “Your wife used to be so
.nervous. Now she doesn’t seem to
show a sign of it. What did you do
for her?”
Georges “That was easy. The doc
tor simply told her nervousness was
a sign of age.” \
Suits Her
“Madam, we can’t allow your
dog in this theater." '
“Weill If it’s that kind of a pic
ture, I don’t want to see it.”
FLYING PAR
Mr. Brown invited Mr. Jones
to Join him at his club for a
game of golf. Each time Mr.
Brown teed off, the air was filled
< with earth. At the ninth hole he
said to Mr. Jones, “Well, what
do you think of our course
here?" “To tell you the truth.
Old Man," replied Mr. Jones,
“it’s the best course I ever
Esca#e Clause
George Ade recalled that among
the multifarious jobs he held in his
youth was a two-year hitch with a
patent medicine company.
“They guaranteed an absolute
cure of the tobacco habit,” the cele
brated humorist reminisced, “pro
vided the patient strictly followed
the directions #n the bottle.”
“But how could they make such
a guarantee?” someone inquired.
‘‘Oh. that was easy," Ade ex-
“The first direction on the
bottle was 'Give up the use of all
forms of tobacco at once."
* * ■ iA '-f V
THE
SUN. NEWBERRY, a C.
'A'./ *#1
VIRGIL
By Len
OH f*A»tf TMERE$
onlvohe Place
TO TO/out A NICE
NEW SLEO LIKE
ycHf-i ^
WOULDN'T TOY
OUT A new 5UC
ANVWMCPE 6L6E
BUT THERE
COMMENDABLE
The minister, while seated in
his study with a friend, noticed a
loose nail in one of his bookshel
ves. He went in search of a ham-
I mer, and, returning, struck a
mighty blow, but missed the nail
and struck his finger. He stood
for a few minutes, saying noth
ing. Finally, his friend remarked,
“My dear fellow, that was the
most profane silence I ever heard.”
—
Qualifications
Mother: “Did you enjoy the
party last night?"
Son: “I’ll say I did. And I met
a marvelous girl, top.” 4
Mother: *Tm glad of tthat., Is
she attractive and does she dance
well?"
9 Son: *T didn’t notice that—but,
boy, she sure is a good listener.’
SUICIDE HlU-f
THAT^TIV
WE’LL REAU.V
&NE THATCXJ
SLED A WORKOUT
okT
/<
• X
X t • • /
SUNNYSIDE
RIMIN' TIME
_
&
NAGGED
IWftfl
TAGGED
Bf POSEN
BAGGED.
0^
BESSIE
.V.v.v.-'
I g
HOSPITAL
PIRST
AIP
By NICK PENN
FIRST
AIP
J
MUTT AND JEFF
IVES, BUT
I'M GONNA GET
A GOOD JOB AND,
SETTLE DO\VN-( w fj 0 < ^ c>ULD
— LETS GET) HAVE
LETS PUT/
OUT THE
WHAT FOR?
wehonTbe
WHAT
I SAID VOURE
STUPID?
By Bud Fisher
. OH, IM NOT TOO BAD/ VOU
OUGHT TO SEE GRANDPA-
leans mv OVER
LIKE THISZ
HE
v
LOST OPPORTUNITY
Young Tommy sat on the curb
stone crying bitterly. An elderly
lady, passing by, stopped to con
sole him. “There, there, my lit
tle man," she said cheerfully,
“What seems to be the trouble?"
“My brother, Jerry, drowned our
Ginger’s kittens,’’ said Tommy,
sobbing harder than ever. “Why,
how perfectly dreadful,” exclaim
ed the old lady. “But come, now,
dry your eyes, and perhaps we can
find another kitten.” “I don’t
want another kitten,” wailed
Tommy, in a cloudburst of tears,
“I wanted to drown Ginger’s kit
tens, and now I can’t cause Jerry’s
done it.”
Ne Teams
The other night a radio sports
reader was reciting a piece he’d
done about the baseball schedule.
And he came up with this unusual
bit of Information.
“In the American League,” he
read authoritatively, “all the wes
tern teams invade the east and
all the eastern teams go into the
west”
Leaving, of course, an awkward
silence in the schedule in both
sections.
• , ■ * w - •. v • » -i
He’ll Catch Something
A boy, who. instead of going to
school had gone fishing, on his
way home met one of his school
chums. Seeing that the boy was
carrying v a fishing line, the chum
asked:
“Catch anything?"
“No," repUed the boy, “I hain’t
been home yet"
SEWING CIRCLE PATTERNS
m 111 11 ■ 1 " i, ~
3 —
m i.r*
'"Wk
fs Skirt Fits Perfectly
r ing for Tiny Tots
A
Neighborhood
A neighborhood is a place where
everybody knows not only which
men beat their Wives but which
wives need a beating.
PASSED OFF
A small boy was asked to dine at
the home of a distinguished profes
sor. His mother questioned him on
his return, “You are sure you didn’t
do anything that was not perfectly
polite?"
“Why, no, nothing to speak of.”
“Ther. something did happen."
“Well, while I was trying to cut
the meat it slipped off to the floor.
But I made it ail right," said the
boy.
“What did you do?"
“Oh, I just said carelessly, *that’s
always the way with tough meat’ "
JITTER
By Arthur Pointer
ON YDUR WAY ID THE OFFICE
ASK THE UEWELHR TO COME
AND FIX OUR GRANDFATHER.
_ CLOCK.
I CLEANED AND OVERHAULED IT.
...SHOULD BE GOOD FOR.
TEN YEARS AT LEAST
HA SURE IT WILL!
Marxism
“How old do you think I am?"
Groucho Marx asked a contest
ant.
“Oh, I’d say you were going on
50."
‘*I’m going on penicillin," was
Groucho’s retort. “And I make
my own. I scrape it off moldy old
jokes."
WYLDE AND WOOIY
y*
TV day!
WHAT CAN WE
DO FOR YOU,SIR?
By Bert Thomas
DO YOU HAVE
ANYTHING cqr
WATER - OV- THE- KNEE?
• YEP, WE HAVE SOME
r
A year ago he wanted me to quit my job and
get married—but bn this second proposal
he just wanted me to get married."
"ZS?
ei
Car Conscious
“Did they offer anything on your
old car?"
“Sure did. They took one look and
offered up a prayer."
’ i ./ Wii
■-« ‘. ■ l
3S5BI .■ -a ■
.■> . - - -f •>.. ' - 'V
8765
aa'-wwAisr
K BEAUTIFULLY fitting skirt
“ that’s so useful in your-winter
wardrobe. And it’s designed par
ticularly for women, has new and
interesting details.
Pattern No. 8783 is a sew-rite perforated
SO, 33, M, 38.
pattern in waist sizes m i. .
40. Size 30. 1% yards ofM-incb. ^
Left-Over Meats
If you have left-over* meat, slice
it and serve it hot or cold; mince it
and serve it on toast; dice it and
serve it in gravy or meat pies;
grind it up for croquettes, hash,
casseroles, omelets, souffles; use
it in meat loaves; or stuff toma
toes or cabbage leaves' with it.
• • • / ‘ !
Tender Pudding
To prevent a tough top skin,
cover puddings while hot with
waxed paper.
• • * -
Soaking Pans
Sugars and fats are soluble in
hot water. Therefore , soak any
sugary or greasy pans or utensils
in hot water. Hot water “sets"
milk, eggs, and starchy foods and
makes their removal difficult. So
rinse or soak mixing bowls, mixing
spoons, doughy dishes, and such in
cold water. •
l*b yn.
T WO pretty outfits for small fry
• —at top, a simple dress and
pinafore; below, sleeveless dress
that has a tiny button-on jacket.
« • • -
Pattern No. 8601 is a sew-rite perforated
pattern-in sizes 2. 4. 6. 8, 10. 12 years.
Size 4. dress, 1% yards of 36-incb; pina
fore. yards. ,
Pattern No. 8738 is a sew-rite perforated
pattern in sizes 1, 2, 3. 4, 5, « years. Size
% yd.^TWO^SE?PARATE PATHn^RNS?”**
SEWING CIRCLE PATTERN .DEPT-
S47 West Adams St.. Chieege «. IN.
Enclose 30c in coin for each pat
tern Add 3c for 1st Class Mail U
desired.
Pattern No. Slzs
T - "“Name iPlease Print!
Street Address oi P O Bo* No
City
-'‘•J
—
Keep Posted on V<
By Reading the
Howie
Greomulsion relieves promptly 1
it goes right to the seat af the u
to help loosen and expel germ
phlegm and aid nature to s “
heal raw, tender, inflamed
membranes. Guaranteed to please
or money refunded. Greomulsion
stood the test of millions of users.
GREOMULSION
niism Coughs, Chest Colds, Acuta
OBLIGING
The ardent ydung suitor drew his
girl’s young brother aside.
“Jimmy,” he said, “how would
you like to earn some pocket money
for yourself?"
“Love to,” came from the youth.
"What do you want me to do?”
. “Well," aald the lover, lowering
his voice, “I’ll give you a quarter if
you can get me a lock of your sis
ter’s hair.”
“Easy,” replied Jimmy. “And if
you gimme a dollar I'll get you the
wig.”
Say It’s Not So
Lady of the house: “You know 1
think my husband is having an
affair with his stenographer.”
Maid: “I don’t believe it. You’re
just trying to make me jealous.”
"W#n another
er good day shot to pi
folk to a single boyr'
ieces. Didn't
NOT SO REMARKABLE
Shortly after World War L an
artist painted a European battle
scene which created a stir in
artistic circles. One critic, who
had panned the painting, re
marked:
“1 understand that you have
never been to Europe. Under the
circumstances, that makes year
picture even more remarkable.”
“Why?" replied the artist, “Do
yon suppose Leonardo da Vinci
attended the Last Supper?"
I ARE YOU A
SMOKER?
HEAVY
Change te SAND—the
distinctive cigarette with
FLAM OR
CORK TV
i
LESS THAN |%
NICOTINE
Nat a Substitute—Not MetBcatod
Sano’s scientific process aits nico
tine content to half that of ordinary
cigarettes. Yet skillful blending
makes every puff a pleasure; •
FLEMING-HALi, tobacco CO., INC.
ASK YOUK DOCTOR ABOUT SANO dGAKSTTES
Mu
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