Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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THE NEWBERRY SUN. NEWBERRY. S. C. VIRGIL By Len KleU VIR6IL?" I can HARDLV NEAR YOU- WAVE vou aoT A <TOt_C>? SUNNYSIDE by Clark S. Haas RIMIN' TIME Amo the mother of quite A YOUNfi TOT, *0H, LOOK AT THE PRESENT YOU'VE GOT/ "This doll you see here IS unbreakable, dear"- gy POSEN x "What rot/'crieo the tot, \ \ ^"rr is W0T£! [ffb MUTT AND JEFF By Bad FhW JITTER By Arthur Pointer WORD ECONOMY Dr. Abernathy, the famous Scot tish surgeon, was a man of few words, but he once met his match in a woman. She called at his of fice in Edinburgh one day and showed a hand, badly inflamed and swollen. The following dia logue, opened by the doctor, took place: “Bum?” “Bruise.” “Poultice.” The next day the woman called again, and the dialogue was as follows: “Better?” “Worse.” “More poultice.” Two days later the woman made another call, and this conversa tion ensued: “Better?” “Well. Fee?” “Nothing,” exclaimed the doc tor. “Most sensible woman I ever met!” Variety A young college woman working on the census in a small southern town. found a young mother rock ing her child on the porch. “How many children have you, Mrs. Jones?” she inquired. “Only four,” replied the mother. "A lap baby, a po’ch baby, a yard baby and a shirttail baby.” Half a Loaf A Soviet Zone German on being released from prison for complain ing about meager food rations was asked bow the food was in jaiL "Oh, I can’t complain,” he replied. “I managed to get enough. You see, a kind-hearted jaUer kept passing me loaves of bread through the key hole.” . A Mistake Jim: “Yep, the engagement is off. She won’t marry me.” Joe: “Did you tell her about your rich uncle?” Jim: “Yeah. Now she’s my aunt.” MORE TO CARRY She insisted on taking innumera ble frocks with her, and they ar rived at the station loaded with luggage. “I wish,” said the husband, thoughtfully, “that we’d brought the piano.” “Don’t try to be funny,” came the frigid reply. “I’m not tiring to be funny,” he explained sadly. “I left the tickets on it.” Hard World A small boy came home from his first day at school. “Ain’t going’ tomorra,” he sput tered. “And why not?” asked his mother. “Well, I can’t read and I can’t write and they won’t let me talk, so what’s the use!” SILENT WAY ers in the parlor, “you came down stairs so noisily that you could be heard all over the house. Now go back and come downstairs like a lady.” A little later Emily appeared quietly in the parlor. “Did you hear me come down stairs this time, mamma?” “No dear; I am glad you came down quietly. Now, don’t ever let me have to tell you again not to come down noisily. Now tell these ladies how you managed to come down like a lady the second time, when the first time you made so much noise.” “The last time I slid down the banisters,” explained Emily. NOTHING NEW A lady was entertaining her friend’s small son. “Are yon sure yon can cut your meat?” she asked, after watching his struggles. “Oh, yes,” he replied, without looking up from his plate. “We often have it as tough as this at home.” Nothing Else Hubby sneaked home in the fad ing hours of the dawn to find his spouse right there at the front door to greet him. “Well!” she snorted. “So you’ve decided that home is the best place after all!” “I don’t know about that,” he re plied. “but it’s the only place open.” Closet With Fabric Door Fits in Any Odd Corner RED AND WHITE TICKING ON A SHADE ,«<*-!-&* ZIPPER LAUNDRY BAG HANGS UNDER SHELF ■PHIS closet with a fabric door on a shade roller fits in any odd corner. Pattern 256 shows you ex actly how it is built; gives an actual-size pattern for scallops; a list of materials required and di rections for making the zipper laundry bag. The price of pattern is 25c. WORKSHOP PATTERN SERVICE Drawer 10 Bedford Hllla, New fork The wearing of tartans was illegal in Scotland two centuries ago because they were the symbol of clan authority, which the British were trying to wipe out. Milk Care Remember \o take good- care of your milk and not let it stand on the porch where sunlight will af fect its nutrients. The valuable vitamin riboflavin is destroyed by light. Provide a covered box to protect it. Smart Lawyer Client—“I know the evidence is strongly against my innocence, but I have $50,000 to fight the case/’ Lawyer—“As your attorney, I assure you that you’ll never go to prison with that amount of money.” And he didn’t he went thers broke. DISCOVERED! AMAZING NEW LASTING LIPSTICK STAYS ON-AND ON-ANP ON! Women go wild over sensational *- non-smear lipstick that won’t eat off—bite off—kiss off! NEW YORK, N. Y. Beauty experts and women everywhere are hailing the most exciting news in cosmetic history. It’s HAZEL BISHOP’S amdz- ingly lasting lipstick—the first and only color-true make-up you can put on ypur lips in the morning or eve ning—and forget! For it stays on and on until you want to take it off! Now at last, say goodbye to un- pain keep I again be your friends, children. bv smearing relatives, hus band, or sweetheart with your "war -’ it”—for this sensational lipstick >s your mouth looking as radiant^ resn, and colorful as when first ap- ilied—even when you eat, bite your ips, or kiss! So don’t put up with lipstick em barrassment another single day! Right now, go to your favorite drug or de- S artment store and get HAZEL I SHOPS sensational new Lasting Lipstick. Only $ 1.10 plus tax. You must be completely satisfied or your money will be refunded! Mot one single cape of throat irritation duCtoSmekiag, — that's what noted throat specialists reported In a coast-to-coast test of hundreds of people who smoked only Camels for 30 days I «? This Nebraska Farmer Says: FIRESTONE OPEN CENTERS FOR "I hum 320 acres of bottom land. Some times it gets pretty dry and hard, and other times it gets soft and sticky. I like the Firestone Open Centers for my farm because, no matter what condition the ground’s in, 1 can always depend on them to do a good job. In my opinion they’re the best all-around tires a farmer can use.” Glenn Stauffer, Meadow Grove, Neb. AMONG THE OPEN CENTER BUYERS MORE AND MORE FARMERS CHOOSE Tire$foot CHAMPIONS 0 IS <■ F rom across the road all open center tires look about the same, but from a tractor seat farmers soon see why the Firestone Open Center outpulls all other open center tires. Watch a Firestone Open Center in operation. You can see how the sharp taper of its bars makes them bite their way into the ground • • • You can see how the curved design of the bars makes them cup the soil for a stronger hold . • . You can see how the Flared Openings between the bars let the soil fall free to keep the tread clean. You’ll find the Firestone Champion the best open center tire you can use. Of course there are over a mil lion farmers who would rather have a traction center type of tire, and if that’s the kind you prefer, get the one and only Firestone Traction Center. Buy Tires Built by Firestone —- the originator of the First Practical Pneumatic Tractor Tire. Enjoy tit Vote* of First ton* on radio or ulovision owory Monday ovoning ooor NBC OWrlllit IRSl. Tbs VtrMtaB* Om A Biibter OA