The sun. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1937-1972, August 31, 1951, Image 7
THE NEWBERRY SUN. NEWBERRY. S. C.
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MUTT ANn JEFF
By Bud Fisher
JITTER
By Arthur Pointer
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WYLDE AND WOOLY
YEP* I REMEMBER... HE
WAS SlTTlM 7 THERE DRlNXlN 7
COFFEE, WHEN SUDDENLY HE
WHIPPED OUT A GUN AMP
TOOK EVERYBODY'S MONEY.
ziG WOULDN'T
IN' F PRESS CHARGES,
By Bert Thomas
AGAINST HIM, THO',
WOULD HE, VIRGIL ?
99
Don't let all the clubs fool yuh! I got three pencil
boxes in school and you've seen MY report card!"
By
'Paramount could make a movie of my life—except
the ending would be too tragic"
FORESIGHT
One summer morning, while on
vacation, Norwegian dramatist
Henrik Ibsen called at the home of
a fellow artist and asked to see the
latter’s wife.
“A button has come off my coat,”
Ibsen explained to her, “and I
must sew it on again. Would you
please thread this needle for me?
My eyes are not strong.”
He handed her a needle and a
spool of thread. She completed the
task in a moment, and Ibsen
thanked her and departed. Several
weeks later, the two met again.
“How is your sewing coming
along?” she asked. . “Have you
been threading the needle yourself
since I last saw you?”
“Oh no,” replied Ibsen. “I made
sure then that the thread would be
long enough to last me all sum
mer.”
Bottoms Up!
A flashy character barged into a
Detroit saloon, demanded a double
jigger of scotch, downed it in one
gulp, plunked a $5 bill on the coun
ter, and walked out without another
word. The bartender folded the
fiver carefully, pocketed it, agd re
marked to the bar-flies. “Can you
beat a phony like that? Laps up a
double scotch, leaves a five dollar
tip, and beats it without paying!”
Right Crowd
“Hrothers,” said the
colored
preacher, “The subject of mah ser
mon today is liars. How many in
dis congregation have read the 69th
chapter of Matthew?” Nearly every
hand went up.
“You is de people ah wants to
preach to,” the reverend said,
“Dere is no such chapter.”
First of All
Romeo was the first quizmaster.
Remember his declaration that he
had a lady in the balcony?
THANKS, TEACHER
Sir Oswald Mosley, leader of the
British Union of Fascists, had
marched at the head of a great
procession to Albert Hall in Lon
don, where a large crowd awaited
him. With dramatic effect he mount
ed the rostrum under the glare of
spotlights and raised his arm in the
Fascist salute. The effect was ruined
by a voice from the gallery calling,
“Yes, Oswald, you may leave the
rooml”
And With Glasses
The girl who is a vision in the
moonlight may be a sight in the
sunlight.
Unflattering Portrait
At the height of his trust bust
ing campaign, Theorore Roosevelt
had his portrait painted by an art
ist friend. When he saw the fin
ished work, he shuddered. All his un
flattering features had been exag
gerated.
“Do I really look like that to
you?” he said.
The artist nodded.
“Hmmm,” muttered T. R. “Now
I know why I have so many ene
mies.'
REMEMBERS WHEN
During the quail season Bruce
Cooper met an old farmer hunting
with an ancient pointer. Twice the
dog pointed. Twice his master kick
ed at the matted growth, wheeled
sharply and fired into the empty
air. When Cooper saw no birds
rise, he asked the farmer for an
explanation.
“Shucks,” grinned the old man,
“I knew there wam’t no birds in
that grass. Spot’s nose ain’t what
it used to be. But him and me have
seen some wonderful days together.
He’s still doing his best—and it’d be
mighty little of me to call him a
liar.”
A NEW DEAL
The landlady brought in a
plateful of extremely thin slices
of bread and butter, which rather
dismayed her hungry men board
ers.
“Did you cut these, Mrs.
Brown?” asked one.
“Yes—I cut them,” came the
stern reply.
“Oh,” went on the boarder.
“All right—I’ll shuffle and deal!”
Simple Skirt, Blouse
Ideal for School Days
Simple Shirt
S URE to find a warm welcome in
every school-day wardrobe is
this pretty set for young girls.
Simple skirt and blouse topped
with a crisp weskit.
• • •
Pattern No. 8644 Is a gew-rlte perfo
rated pattern for sizes 6. 8, 10, 12 and
14 years. Size 8, vest, % yard of 54-inch:
skirt, % yard; blouse, 13/8 yards of
35-inch.
Fitted Shirtwaist Frock
Designed in Half Sizes
8725
classic
Shirtwaist Frock
A BEAUTIFULLY fitting shirt
waist frock designed in half
sizes to flatter the slightly shorter
figure. Try it in different fabrics—
a choice of sleeves is provided.
• * *
Pattern No. 8725 is a sew-rlte perfo
rated pattern in sizes 14%, 16%, 18%,
20%, 22% and 24%. Size 16%. 4% yards
of 39-inch.
The Fall and Winter STYLIST con
tains 48 pages of smart, easy to sew
styles for fall-into-winter wear; special
features; gift patterns printed inside the
book. Send 25 cents today.
SEWING CIRCLE PATTERN DEPT.
887 West Adams St., Chieage 6, Ul.
Enclose 30c in coin for each pat
tern. Add 5c for 1st Class Mail If
desired.
Pattern No. Size
Name (Please Print) ~ ”
Street Address or P.O. Box No.
City state
a
Difference of Opinion
How are your uncle and his
wife getting along?
For two* years now he hasn’t
been out one night.
Well, that’s what I call love.
You may call it love, but the
doctor calls it rheumatism.
* • •
Only Joint Open
Wife (to returning husband):
So you finally came back. I guess
home is the best place after all.
Husband: It’s the only place
open.
- ONLY YOU CAltf
PREVENT
FOREST FIRES
Non-Smear Upstick
Wm’t Eat Off-Bte Off-Kss Off!
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on cups, glasses, cigarettes, teeth
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TODAY GET HAZEL BISHOP’S
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GUARANTEE,
AID FOR SMALL BUSINESS
0 Small factories or small business, designat
ed as firms employing 500 or less employees, are
promised all assistance necessary by
DPA to get defense contracts and to
procure materials. DPA has issued a
31-page booklet, *Mobilization for
Small Business” designed to tell small
firms just hov to obtain government
contracts, to get loans and tax privi
leges and assistance in converting their plants
from civilian to defense production.
PREDICT ANOTHER LARGE WHEAT CROP
0 Department of agriculture predicts another
huge crop in wheat, cotton and soybeans, indicat
ing food prices may drop as a result. For fifth
consecutive week, food prices remained relatively
stable while average primary market prices again
declined 0.1 per cent over week ending June 12,
although still 15.7 per cent above a year ago.
Also, dally index of spot markets and organized ,
exchanges* showed another decline of 0.5 per cent
with sizable declines in cottonseed oil, flax
>»
seed, wool tops. Another indication of how price*
ceilings are taking effect is department of labor
statistics showing wholesale orice index for May
declined 0.3 per cent over April, second consecu
tive month the index dropped, after showing a
steady increase since end of 1949.
NEW FARM RECORD
0 Of interest to Main Street merchants is
fact that on agriculural front, farmers are well
on their way to setting new record in total farm
production, aiming at a government target 4 per
cent above 1950. UP TO NOW FARMERS NEEDS FOR MA
CHINERY' HAVE BEEN MET, BUT SOME CURTAILMENT IN
PRIORITIES FOR FARM MACHINERY MANUFACTURE MAT
CAUSE OUTPUT TO BE SLIGHTLY UNDER REQUIREMENTS FOR
REST OF 1951.
• \ v .
0 Despite higher consumer costs. Bureau of
Labor Statistics again showed decline in weekly
price index of 0.3 per cent for week ending June
26. All major groups declined except metals and
metal products, fuel and lighting materials. Daily
index of prices on spot markets and organized ex
changes declined for ninth consecutive week.
Major declines were recorded-for wool tops, cot
tonseed oil, silk, flaxseed, lard and barley.
"l tried many different
cigarettes. I chose CAMELS
tor their flavor and tor
the way they agree with
■Hi my throat!"