The sun. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1937-1972, July 20, 1951, Image 7
THE NEWBERRY SUN. NEWBERRY. S. C.
V
By Lew Klei»
RIMIN' TIME
Q LOttt-SUFFfelNG FATHER
NAMED MACK
Which, much to his sorrow.
His children would borrow-
By POSEN
Now Mack has no shirt to
his back/
MUTT AND JEFF
By Bud FUher
/WHY the blazesT
should r Give my ^
CONSENT, TO AMAH
HAVE V YOU ONLY ASK ME [/[F WE GET INTO A
THE TIME SO YOU
CAN GET INTO
CONVERSATION
CONVERSATION WE
BECOME FRIENDLY/
WHEN WE BECOME
FRIENDLY YOU'LL
ASK ME TO ^
LUNCH
-THEN WE’LL HAVE
LUNCK AGAIN, ,\ND \
THEN ONE DAY YOU
WILL YISIT MY HOME
WHERE I HAYE
A BEAUTIFL'L.
DAUGHTER-
/ VOU WILL VISIT MV HOUSE
AGAIN AND THEN SOME
DAY YOU WILL COME AND
ASK ME IF YOU CAN
MARRY MY
DAUGHTER/ 'if
JITTER
WYLDE AND WOOLY
By Bert Thomas
"Seems to be in good shape, hut we'd need
to get a new squirrel's tail."
"There's o type I can't STAND—one who
ignores me!"
Smart Dog
The annual competition of a Mid
west Liars Association was captured
after a terrific battle by a hunter
who described how his bird dog one
day began running in a 40-foot cir
cle, working toward the center. Sud
denly the dog froze. The hunter
yelled, “flush.” A single quail
fluttered up into the air and every
body shot at it. A second and third
time the hunter yelled “flush.” On
each occasion, a single quail flew
off as a target. Finally a guest de
manded an explanation.
“This here dog of mine is trained
mighty fine,” admitted the hunter.
“When he circled, he ran all those
quail down a gopher hole. He’s got
his foot over the h#Ie, and he re
leases a single bird every time I
hoUer.”
Important Information
Little girl (on a transcontinental
train): “Mama, what’s the name of
the last station we stopped at?”
Mother: “Don’t bother me. Can’t
you see I’m reading. Why do you
ask?”
Little girl: “Because brother got
off there.”
One Vacant Seat
A Sunday-school class had been
carefully drilled for the coming of
the district superintendent. John
nie was to answer “God” when the
question “Who made you?” was
propounded. Jimmie was to pipe
up “Out of the dust of the earth”
in answer to the second question.
“Who made you?” asked the
district superintendent when the
great day of the review arrived.
Again the opening question. Still
no answer.
“Please, sir,” spoke up a freckled
faced youngster, “the little boy God.
made is home with the measles.”
One For One
There was a riot in a small Texas
town, and some of the excited resi
dents telegraphed the governor to
send the Texas Rangers to put
down the disturbance. The commit
tee awaiting the arrival of the
Rangers was astonished when one
lone, tall, husky young man stepped
off the train.
“What, just one Ranger?” the
flabbergasted sheriff asked.
“Well,” drawled the young man,
“there ain’t but one riot, is there?”
He'll Catch Something
A boy, who, instead of going to
school had gone fishing, on his way
home met one of his school chums.
Seeing that the boy was carrying
a fishing line, the chum asked:
“Catch anything?”
“No,” replied the boy, “I hain’t
been home yet.”
Bath Shy
“Did the children behave when
you bathed them?” inquired the
mistress of the new French nurse,
when she returned home from the
card party.
“All but ze biggest boy, and how
he fight and kick before I get him
in ze water,” replied the nurse.
“Which biggest boy? We’ve only
one boy, Freddy, and he’s not two
years old.”
“Eet is not lee tie Freddy, I mean.
Eet is ze big boy with glasses and
curly hair.”
“Good gracious! That’s not ray
boy, that’s my hysband.”
No Favorites
You may be a fine, upstanding
citizen, Willie the office wit reminds
us, but that never makes any dif
ference to a freshly waxed floor!
ABOUT AVERAGE
An Inquisitive visitor in t a
small village began questioning
a native. He wanted to know
everything about the community,
its elevation above sea level,
politics, religions tendencies,
bank clearances, and so on. Fi
nally he asked: “What is the
death rate in this town?” To
which the somewhat bored na
tive replied: “About one to a per
son.”
Inflation Is All Over
Many of us beef about inflation
but few of us realize that inflation
is all over. For instance the Wall
Street Journal recently reported
that the price of haircuts in Su
won, occupied by the UN forces in
Korea, jumped 50%. You once could
get a haircut in Suwon for five
cents, but with all this inflation the
price is now 7V& cents. If that’s too
high, you can always get your head
blown off.
Iron Curtain Also Cuts Bering Strait Fur Swaps
Washington, D.C.—The Iron Cur
tain is also a Fur Curtain between
Big and Little Diomede.
No longer do American cigar
ettes, tea, flour and sugar buy
Siberian fox pelts and walrus-
tusk ivory across the three-mile
channel of icy water which sep
arates Russian .from American
soil, midway across Bering Strait,
the National Geographic Society
reports.
Russian soldiers man a lookout
post on a rocky shoulder of Big
Diomede Island, easternmost sen
try station of Soviet sovereignly.
Staring across the Internationa]
Date Line at U.S.-owned Little
Dkynede, for three years they
hive cut off all trade .and social
calls among Eskimo families who
literally have relatives on both
sides of the world, yet are only a
few minutes’ paddle apart.
Since the glacial age the Dio-
medes, twin mountain peaks pro
truding above the surface of Ber
ing Strait, have served as step-
pingstones between Asia and
America. In 1867 Russia sold Lit
tle Diomede with Alaska to the
United States, but retained Big
Diomede.
Each island supports an Eskimo
village. Their inhabitants scratch
a living from sea and land by
hunting walruses, whales, seals,
bears and foxes.
Little Diomede families, living
closer to Siberia than to Alaska,
once traded regularly with their
Russian neighbors.
Kill That Smell
Oddest request ever received by
a certain company was from a
man who wanted an old car to
smell like new. The concern,
which manufactures flavors and
fragrances, accepted the chal
lenge and now the old jalopy
smells like it just roUed off the
production line.
Table and Bench Unit
Idea for Back Yards
Painful Corsets
In Queen Elizabeth’s day ladies
wore corsets which gave them a
painful but elegant 13-incb waist;
50 years ago standards and waist
lines had been relaxed to a more
comfortable 18-20 inches; in the
interesU of health, girdle manu
facturers today generally set 24
inches as the minimum for foun
dation garments they make.
W ith this convenient unit you:
won’t have to scurry around
to find seats. All you need in the
way of tools will be » saw and
hammer. Pattern gives all con
struction details and dimensions.
No waste of time or materials..
Price of pattern 203 is 25c.
WORKSHOP PATTERN SERV1CB
Drawer 10
Betters Hills. New Yerk
Buy U.S. Defense Bonds!
Star pitcher of H Y. Yankees, says:
AMERICA’S MOST POPULAR CIGARETTE—OP BILU0HS!
OPEN CENTERS
For This Farmer
Everett Lewison
Vermillion, South Dakota..
*T own • 360-acre farm
and I know just about
what I have to have in
tires to get my work done.
Maybe my soil is
different, but it
seems to me that
Firestone Open-
Center Tires
pull better than
sny ol the
others.’*
EVHBTT
tlWUOM.
TRACTION CENTERS
For His Neighbor
Leof Larson
Vermillion, South Dakota
"With 350 acres to farm.
I have plenty of opportu
nities to judge tractor tires.
About six yean ago I had
my first experience
with Firestone Trac
tion-Center Tires,
and today I have
them on all ety trac
tors. la my judg
ment, they’re the
best tires
money can
buy.”
Leaf Laeson.
1
I
I
1 ■
■
*
■
' 1
mm
m y ■■
m
T hat's the way it Is in most
farming localities — Some
farmers want Open-Center
Tires, while others find that
Tractidn-Centers do a better job
in their soil conditions. In all
probability, you have a definite
preference, too.
If it's an Open-Center you
like best, try the Firestone
Champion Open-Center Tire.
You’ll find that its curved bars
pull better, its Flared Tread
Openings keep the tire dean,
and its wide, flat tread wears
longer than treads of other
Open-Center Tires.
^ Or—if you think a Traction-
Center Tire will do your job
best, try the one and only
Firestone Traction-Center, the
choice of more than a million
farmers. Remember — only
Firestone gives you your
choice between the greatest
Open-Center and the only
Traction-Center Tire on the
market today.
ffmfer **# Voic* 0f Pinston* on radio or
ooory Monday oooming ovrr NBC
1*81. Ttol
> Hip A Rubbor Ok