The sun. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1937-1972, May 05, 1951, Image 7
1
THE NEWBERRY SUN, NEWBERRY. S. C.
VIRGIL
*•
*•
frienp-
By Len KleU
yXTLLMEVEftHAME
ID WORRY ABOUT
TH’ACMV MAMISi'
A S6NTOV
OUT OP SOU?
SUNNYSIDE
WVW'S WRONG
WITH THE
-*GIRLS IS NATURALLY BETTER
LOOKING THAN &0/B." f
by Dark $. Hoot
THE OLD GAFFER
LOOK AT THAT OLD MAN
SHOWING- OFF ON THAT
dicvcle/
t/*'
L I » . /
m
HE MUST B& IN HIS
SECOND CHILDHOOD/
By Pay Hunter
Second ch/uwooo?
FROM THE LOOKS OF THAT ^
Bicycle , it must be mis
iiii.
YOU'LL HAVE TO
HELP ME CARRY
JVUS TABLE 10o!
BUT I HAVE MV
M^HANDSFU-U///
urn'll
imii
mm
w
By NICK PENN
MUTT AND JEFF
By Bud Fi
VOU GOTTA KNOW
HOW TO ACT/ WHAT
TO DO IN AN _
EMERGENCY/J OH.l
KNOW/
I KNOW/
look; suppose vou were ^
IN A CAR ALL BY YOURSELF,
AND A GANG OF BANDITS
CAME BEARING DOWN
ON VOU IN A LIMOUSINE -
70 MILES AN HOUR- >1
WHAT WOOUfilS^r I
YOU DO?
M
EIGHTY/
JITTER
m SHINE THESE
NEW TWO TONED I
SHOES
WEARING
THEM
BE BACK
IN A MINUTE T
By Arthur Pointer
WYLDE AND WOOLY
TAKE THAT, 'AH'THAI;
AV' THAT/
F
/
■6
HEY! WHY ARE YOU
STABBING THAT CACTUS?
By Bert Thomas
w JUST GETTIN' EVEN, SON,
just fferr/N'even/
I
\
JEST
JESTIN' ^
%
Self Diapaosis
Overheard on a bus: “Oh, I feel
some better this morning, but I al
ways feel bad when I feel better
because I know I'm going to feel
worse.”
THE STORY HOUR
avia:,w '
A house-to-house salesman stuck
his foot expertly in Mrs. Fenichel’s
door and said, “Madam, I represent
the Pawtucket Knitting Mills. Might
I interest you in some coarse
yarns?”
“Sure,” said Mrs.' Fenichel.
“Tell me a couple.”
Likes Big Things
A young couple were visiting the
maternal grandparents of their five-
month-old son. After a week had
elapsed, it was time to go home.
“Why don’t you leave him with
us?” said the grandfather. “We’ll
give him anything his little heart
deSires:”
“It’s all right with me,” replied
the father. “He’s crazy about big
new shiny automobiles.”
Not Re-Fillable!
Patient: “Since we’ve known each
other so long, doctor. I’m not go
ing to insult you by paying my bill,
but I’ll leave you a handsome
legacy in my will.”
Doctor: “That’s very nice of you,
I’m sure. By the way, jdst let me
have that perscription again.
There’s a slight change I’d like to
make in it.”
SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY
A state selective service head
quarters in the south was being
inspected by a brassy young officer
from Washington. Noting that the
number of typewriters and desks
far exceeded the number of typists,
he asked one of the girls, “What is
the normal complement of this of
fice?”
"Well, suh,” she replied, “Ah
reckon the most usual compliment
is, ‘Howdy, honey chile, you’re sure
luscious-lookin’ this mawnin.’ ”
Sounds Suspicions
Don’t you often wonder why it is
that they always talk about a doc
tor practicing?
Was Too Close
The stranger brought his car to
a halt, and addressed the tall,
raw-boned cowboy leaning against
the corral. “Does Big Joe live near
here?” he asked.
“Nope,” replied the cowpoke.
“Well,” inquired the man, “where
can I find his neighbor. Long Sam?’
‘I’m Long Sam,” drawled the
cowboy.
“But,” protested the stranger,
“they told me that Big Joe lived
within gunshot of you!”
“That’s right,” came the calm
rejoinder. “He did!”
No Playboy, He
A Maine logger, fresh from the
big woods, was watching a store
clerk open a package of gaily col
ored men’s pajamas.
“What’s them?” he asked.
"Pajamas.”
“Pajamas?” echoed the logger.
‘What are they for?”
“Why, you wear them nights,’
the clerk explained. “Want to buy
a pair?”
“Nothing doing,” said the logger.
T don’t go nowhere nights except
to bed.”
Inflation
Attending a church bazaar, Abra
ham Lincoln tendered a $20 bill to
pay for a bunch of violets. The
lady at thie booth, making no at
tempt to return any change, gushed,
“Oh thank you, Mr. President”
Lincoln reached down from his
great height, and gently touched
the lady on the wrist saying, “And
what do you call this?”
“Why, Mr. President, that is my
wrist What did you think it was?”
“Well,” - drawled Lincoln, “I
thought it might be your ankle.
Everything is so high around here.”
Ignorance Is Bliss
A little old lady listened atten
tively while the young priest
preached a sermon on marriage.
After the sermon the little old lady
murmured: “I wish I knew as little
about it as he does.”
VERY EMBARRASSING
* *
Mrs. Jones was sitting, in the
breakfast nook shelling peas when
she heard a knock at the back
door. Thinking it was her young
son, she called, “Here I am dar
ling.”
Silence. Then a deep voice
boomed, "This is not the regular
iceman.”
The Disk Jockey
Spinning a new record, ‘disc jock
ey Martin Block said, “We’ve just
heard Doris Day’s frontside. And
now,” he continued, “let’s look at
her backside.”
Aw, Heck!
A Canton, Ohio, station an
nounced: “Due to difficulties be
yond our control, Edwin C. Hill
will be with you in just one mo
ment.”-
Split Second
“What is the shortest perceptible
unit of time?”
“The peroid between the moment
a traffic light changes and the
time the boob behind you blows his
horn.”
Diplomacy
A man who gives in when he is
wrong is wise. The man ‘who gives
in when he is right is married.
SAY THAT AGIN!
Three newly inducted soldiers
from the Ozarks approached the
Information Desk at a St. Louis
YMCA and asked what the “Y”
offered. They were told they could
write letters, read magazines, visit
the game rooms. They didn’t show
much interest until they were told,
“There’s swimming also in the base
ment.”
Then the trio moved a few feet
away, engaged in animated argu
ment. Finally one returned to the
desk. “Did you say,” he inquired
earnestly, “that there wuz wimmen
in the basement?”
Not His, Really
Officer—“Is that your car over
there?”
Jones—“Well, officer, since you
ask me, considering the fact that I
still have 20 payments to make,
owe three repair bills and two new
tires, I really don’t think it is.”
Just Kids
One wife: “You’ve got to use
psychology in handling a husband.”
Another wife: “Yeah, child
psychology.”
SUFFICIENT ANSWER
One day Luther Burbank was
walking in his garden when he
was accosted by an officious ac
quaintance who said:
“Weil, what are yon working
on now?”
“Trying to cross an eggplant
and milk-weed," said Burbank.
“And what under heaven do
yon expect from that?”
Burbank calmly resumed his
walk.
“Custard pie,” he said.
SEWING CIRCLE PATTERNS
Versatile, Well Styled Frock
Flattery for Larger Figures.
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Simple Frock
If SIMPLE yet extremely smart
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dress up or down to sdit the occa
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are provided—add your favorite
jewelry or a flower bouquet.
Pattern No. 8607 u a aew-rite perforated
pattern in sizes IS. 14, 16, 18, SO; 40, 42.
Size 14. short sleeve. yards of SO-iT-cb.
Send 25 cents today tor your copy ot
the Spring and Summer STYLIST. 48
pages of style, color, easy to sew frocks:
special features:
side the book.
:i76l
36-52
Mature Styling
F DR the woman of more
figure, a gre .eful after,
style that is as flattering as can
be. Pretty detail accents the
waist, the gored skirt is a favorite
with women everywhere.
• • • ^
Pattern No. 1761 la a sew-rite
rated pattern in sizes 36. 38. 40. _
46. 48. 50. 92. Sizs 38. cap sleeve,
yards of 38>incb.
SEWING CIRCLE PATTERN DEPT.
367 Wssi Adams St., Chleage 6, 111.
Enclose 25c in coin for each pat
tern. Add 5c for 1st Class Mail If
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Pattern No Size
Name (Please Wlnt)
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itte
gift patterns printed in-
City
■sutT
Chilly
Old Mr. MacGregor had his
grandson, Donald, visiting him.
An ice cream vendor passed and
the little lad ran to his grand
father. “It's awful hot," he said.
"May 1 have five cents for an ice
cream cone?" "Now, boy," an
swered Old Mac, "ice cream ain't
good for young 'uns. I’ll tell you
a ghost story instead."
• • •
Not So Tasty >
Two druggists were talking
about one of their confreres who
had just died.
"He was a great druggist,"
said one.
"He was," admitted the other,
"But don’t you think he made his
chicken-salad a little too salty?”
A soonm MESSiMB
FOR
CHAR MOROLINE
""■V PETWOtruv: JtLLY H«H
20
P E T W O L P U 1
Beautiful Plants QR '
AU Far
3 Camellias 5 Azaleas (Pink &
(Austill Pink) Purple) -
5 Gardenias . .
(White) 3 Sasanquas (Pink)
2 Pyracantha _ . . . _. .
(Red Berries) 3 Assorted Shrubs
Hurry! Satisfaction Guaranteed.
*la
Plants are 8 to 12-lnehes.
- ^•••••••esmeammmmesmm mmmmwmmm wmmesmm •
I
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Theodore, Ala.
Please rush to me
Package, prepaid.
62.95.
Name
Street
City .
-our Bargain
nclosed find
. • a • • e <
»«00«aaaee o <
State
Buy U. S. Defense Bonds!
You’ll Like Them Too
“HURRY Y'Al I'VE FOUND •EMM'*
Think of it—Grandma Used
When Her ’Liver wae AcUi
•*Talt-infr
►
LANES ARE THE BEST
It's Wonderful the
Chewing-Gum Lax
Acts Chiefly
fjfl] REMOVE
M GOOD FO
• Here's the secret millions of fol
discovered about rxzn-A-Mncr, tl
era chewing-gum laxative. Yee.
why rnw-A-Mnrr’s action is so
fully different l
Doctors say that many other 1
start their “flushing” action too soon .. •
right In the stomach where food la being
digested. Large doses of such laxatives
upset digestion, flush away nourishing
food you need for health and energy*
You feel weak, worn out.
But gentle ncat-a-Murr. taken a
ommendtid. works chiefly In the
bowel where it removes only wasti
good food! You avoid that typical
tired, worn-out feeling. Use rxxw-A-M
and feel your “peppy, energetic self! <
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WRONG VEGETABLE
“How can I pay when I
haven’t any money?” said the
debtor. “You can’t get blood out
of a turnip."
But the collector was ready
for him: "You’re not a turnip—
you’re a beat."
What A Blow!
Bob: “The touch of the nurse’s
hand cooled my fever instantly.’
Warren: “Yeah, we heard the
slap all over the ward."
SMOKER?
dm#* I* SANO—Ik*
dlstlaftln dfmvff* with
LESS THAN |%
NICOTINE
Her Error
When you question your wife's
judgement, remember “ 1 —
married you."
skillful blending