The sun. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1937-1972, April 06, 1951, Image 7
THE NEWBERRY
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SUN. NEWBERRY. S. C.
tosie
THRlLl
By Lea Kioto
OONT RAISE VOURvOC^,
DEAR-THE BOOK SAVS
UXJD MOISES ARE WERV
UP5ETTM& POC CHILDREN,
by Clark S. Hoot
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FIRST MOTION ^
PICTURE TVE SEEN
IN SEVERAL YEARS
By Clay Hunter
I’M 6-LAD THEY VE AT LAST
COME OUT WITH SOMETHIN!
NEW IN MOVIES.
SOMETH I N6|
NEW?
TALKING
PICTURESff
BESSIE
TAXIDERMIST
I FEEL SO
SORRY FOR
THEM-
Buis Sovw: Bonds I
R t C U L A R l Y ■
ff4 Mnm
m
you needntT
FEB. BAD
[ABOUT THB ONE'
Mm
•HE DOESN’T
GIVE A HOOT
ANYMORE ‘
By NICK PENN
X
si
MUTT AND JEFF
I CANT SLEEP/
EVERY NIGHT
IT TAKES ME / PI LLS/ THEY'LL
TWO HOURS TO 1 MAKE YOU
FALL ASLEEP/i SLEEP. MUTT/
HEX NUTT/ HERE ARE
MUTTt™
IVAKE UP/
By Bud Fuher
^ THANKS/ ^
MAYBE I'LL
GET SOME
SLEEP NOW/
JITTER
THAT WAS A PICTURE OP
MB DIGGING CUkMS.THlS
NEXT ISA SHOT OP MB.
<£ gT t
HM. THE CORO
PULLED OUT..
SORRY.. I'LL
HAVE TO TURN OM
THE USWT POR
A MINUTE
By Arthur Pointer
WYLDE AND WOObV
ODDLY ENOUGH. IT
SEEMS TO TASTE SPICY!
By Bert Thomas
NO WONDER/ THIS WAS A
CINNAMON BEAR!
m'
Y
iCL
v.v.v.v.
•rinfiin
Johnny! What have these horrid policemen been
doing to you?"
"You've got your nerve asking me to a.dance at
the last minute ... is it formal or informal?"
Enjoys His Absence
The tour-year-old was busy play
ing in his yard when a grownup
stopped by. “Hi, Mike,” she said,
“where’s your friend Jason?”
“Away,” he replied.
“Don’t you miss him?”
“Yes,” Mike admitted. Then,
meditating darkly on the number
of times Jason had beaten him, he
added, “But I like missing him.”
Prayer Works Wonders
At prayer meeting one night, the
minister asked if there was anyone
In the congregation who wished to
have a special prayer said. A lady
parishioner promptly rose. “I
should like a prayer said for my
husband,” she announced. “But
you haven’t a husband,” said the
perplexed minister. “Well,” replied
the lady tartly, “I can think of no
better reason for praying for one.”
TEXAN MANNERS
When it comes to gallantry, Tex
ans cannot be beat. As an example,
a rough old gaffer from the oil fields
who was just preparing to dig into
a succulent piece of roast pig at
a barbecue when someone careened
into him from behind and knocked
his plate to the ground. In a rage
he bellowed, “You hawg! You want
all the space there is?” and then he
perceived the offender was the
dignified wife of his host. Without
a second thought he amended his
statement, “Lady hawg, that is,
ma’am.”
Both Legs Same Age
An elderly lady, having been
troubled with pains in her leg for
some time, consulted her physician.
“It’s rheumatism,” he told her,
“but we must expect such ailments
as we grow older.” “Nonsense,”
was the reply. “It has nothing to do
with age. My other, leg isn’t one bit
younger and it doesn’t bother me at
all.”
Gets Around
She, with indifference: “I believe
I may have seen you somewhere.”
He, with equal Indifference:
“There is no doubt you have. I go
there often.”
INTERESTED IN DETAILS
A stranger walked into the pet
shop and asked for the proprietor.
“I have come to inquire about your
advertisement in this morning’s
paper for a man to retail imported
canaries,” he announced.
“Glad to see you, sir. Are you in
terested in the job?” asked the
proprietor.
“Oh, no. I was just curious to
know how the canaries came to lose
their tails,” the placid stranger
replied.
COULD BE TRUE
“The new baby has it’s father’s *
nose and its mother's eyes.”
“Yes, and if grandpOp doesn't
step leaning over the crib, it's
going to have his teeth.”
:
*'• ;•> - ’•
, V;- ‘ # 4 • • - r •
Evil and Error
When to Langb
An actress was once appearing
opposite a ham actor who took
himself very seriously. Like most
hams, he was temperamental, and
found something new to complain
about every night.
One night, between acts, he cor
nered the actress and said:
“I saw you laughing at me dur
ing the last scene. I demand that
you stop laughing at me on the
stage.”
“Oh, I never laugh at you on the
stage,” said the actress innocently.
“I always wait until I have re
turned to my dressing room.”
A tub-thumping evangelist, having
scared three quarters of a deep
Southern community into repenting
every sin they had committed and
numerous others they had never
heard of, consented to visit the
abode of Sister Johnson tor refresh
ments. She left him alone for a
moment in the parlor, and when
she returned, found him frowning
severely. •
“Sister,” he thundered, “even
the appearance of evil should be
avoided. For instance, you have
here on your cupboard several de
canters, each partly filled with
what appears to be intoxicating
liquor.”
“But It Isn’t liquor,” quavered
Sister Johnson. 'The bottles look
so nice on the sideboard, I fill
them halfway with furniture pol
ish for the effect”
“Exactly,” pursued the evangel
ist. “You must avoid the appear
ance of evil. Feeling a trifle faint
I helped myself to a wee nip from
the decanter in the center.”
Different Language
Boss—“You sure were a long
time bringing back that team of
mules.”
BiU—“I know it I picked up
Brother Davis on the way home
and from then on, those mules
couldn’t understand a word I said.”
Old Employee
A six-year-old was looking at
photographs of her parents’ wed
ding. Her father described the cere
mony and tried to explain its mean
ing. Suddenly light dawned. “Oh!”
Mary Jane exclaimed. “Is that
when you got Mother to come to
work for us?”
BEAUTY WINS
Needing a new secretary, the
firm’s president decided to have
applicants judged by a psychologist.
Three girls were interviewed to
gether.
“What do two and two make?”
the psychologist asked the first.
“Four,” was the prompt answer.
To the same question the second
girl replied: “It might be 22." The
third girl answered: “It might be
22 and it might be four.”
When the girls had left the room,
the psychologist turned triumphant
ly to the president. “There,” he
said, “that’s what psychology does.
The first girl said the obvious
thing. The second smelled a rat.
The third was going to have it
both ways. Now, which girl will
you have?”
The president did not hesitate.
“I’ll have the blonde with the blue
eyes,” he said.
High Fallntin*
A group of men were discussing
their various backgrounds. One
boasted of his illustrious ancestors,
and claimed to have descended
from a family of very lofty station.
“Indeed,” quipped one of his listen
ers, “There is no doubt that you are
right. I understand that certain
members of your family were
finally so elevated in position that
their feet did not touch the ground.”
SO FORGETFUL
NEEDS MONEY
I wish I had enough money
to bay an elephant.
What on earth do yon need an
elephant for?
I don’t. I just need the money.
Red Tape
A veteran obtained a job in a
Government bureau, only to have
it discovered later that he had
never taken a Civil Service exam
ination to determine whether he
was qualified for the job which be
had* been handling for a year and
a half. So he was given the test.
He failed because of “lack of ex
perience.” The problem was nefctly
resolved, however, by promoting
him to be chief of his section.
Attractive Scrapers
Are Simple to Build
. ' T
■
ip* 1 /t'V'i.j
Youngsters’ Vocabulary
9 DESIGNS POR
FOOT SCRAPERS
FROM
SCRAPS OP
WOOD AND ME TAL
PATTERN 237
Foot Scrapers You Can Make
W HAT CHILD would track mud
into the house passed a squir
rel or a pert pup holding a foot
scraper? There are also scroll
designs for wooden' holders for
scrapers made of strap iron.
• • •
Pattern 237 elves actual alza cutting
guldea and dlrecUona. Price 25c.
WORKSHOP PATTERN SERVICE
- Drawer 10
Bedford Hills. New Tarfc
Ancient Pentagon
The Palace of Minos on the an
cient Island of Crete had more
more rooms than most modern
skyscrapers. It was inhabited by
about 100,000 persons and in
cluded store-houses, offices^court
rooms, chapels, schoolrooms,
libraries, soldiers' barracks,
coach houses, wine shops, and an
inn for strangers.
Hidden Jibe
Humpty Dumpty, in the famous
nursery rhyme by that name, was
represented by their parents to
13th century English children, as
"an egg.” The rhyme was in
tended as a jibe at King John,
who was compelled to sign the
Magna Charta at Runnymede.
June 15. 1215.
The average 13-month-old child
has a vocabulary of only about
10 words, despite the elaborate
claims made by some parents and
other doting relatives regarding
their speaking ability.
KIDNEYS _
MUST REMOVE
EXCESS WASTE
When kidney function riowa down,
Don’t suffer longer with theee "
it reduced kidney function Is
down-—due to such common <
and strain, over-exertion oi
cold. Minor bUdder irritations due to
dampness or wrong diet may cause gai
up nights or frequent passages.
Don’t neglect your kidneys if these «
tions bother you. Try Doan s Pills—s _
diuretic. Used successfully by millions
over 60 years. While often otherwise «tr
it’s amazing how many times Doan’s
happy relief from these discomforts
the 15 miles of kidney tubes sad
flush out waste. Get Doan’s Pills to<
Doans
jw
SLEEP WON’T
COME AND YOU
loxfffivt
REMOVES WASTE
NOT GOOD FOOD
• When yon can’t sleep — feel just
awful because you need a laxative — do
as icnuons do—chew vssn-a-mxmt.
Doctors say many other laxatives,
taken in large doses, start their “flush
ing** action too soon • i . right In the
stomach where they often flush away
nourishing food you need for pep and
energy! You feel weak, tired.
But gentle fxkn-a-icxnt Is different I
Taken as recommended. It works chiefly
In the lower bowel — removes only
good food! YOu avoid that
— you r
-a-mutt.;
waste,
weak feeling — you feel fine, full of
Amazing results proved by independent
scientific test For cleaner teeth, feg i
brighter smile... try Calox yourself I
■
A product of MCKESSON A BOBBIN*
;
.' V <‘ ■
Ym! Bath
tree thorn’s
America’s
A much-married Hollywood actor
was confronted by a gay damsel.
“Don’t you remember me?” she
greeted him. “Ten years ago you
asked me to marry you!”
"Really?” yawned the actor.
“And did you?”
Try P.A.I You’ll like the way Prince Albert’s choice, crimp
cut tobacco holds in the paper for easier rolling of full-bodied
cigarettes. You’re sure to enjoy P.A.I
a. j.
. M.O.
THAN ANY OTfOR TOBACCO
, .1-