Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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THE NEWBERRY SUN. NEWBERRY. 3. VIRGIL [ pop-i WANT TO PRACTICE */ FLVIUG TACKLE NOTOM MEMVE «JT WOMOW6Y, TO SPEND ON DOCTOR BILLS! \ By Lea Kleis SUNNYSIDE by Ourfc 5. Hoot you Neeo &GAJNS MOCE'N momev // WELL. SUM/ X ASVCEO VOU f=Oe WHAT X THOUdHT VOU HAD THE MOST OF... -C//' THE OLD GAFFER CANT EH? VOUft STRAIGHTEN UP, TAKE OFF COAT, PLEASE. By Clay Hunter WHY, THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU - YOU'VE OUST GOT YOUR SUSPENDEBS ON backwards/ By MELLORS " BUT I DON'T WANT TO GET GOOD ENOUGH TO JOIN PMIL SPITALNY'S ALL GIRL ORCMESTRA/* Disappointment Speaking of itids reminds me of the yarn passed on about the little girl who had a pet canary. After the usual number of years of sing ing. the bird died. The child was heartbroken, so a fitting funeral was arranged for the departed musician. The bird was put in a cigar box and buried in the garden. After the service was over, the girl whispered to her dad. “Do you think my little canary will go to heaven?” she asked. “I imagine so,” replied her fath er. “Why?” “I was just thinking,” she mused, “how cross St. Peter will be when he opens the box and finds it isn’t cigars after all!’ Safety First Two Irishmen on an tandem bike at last got to the top of a steep hill. “That was a stiff climb,” said Pat.” “It sure was,” Mike replied, “and if I hadn’t kept the brake on we would have gone backward for sure.’ COW LICK William Dana Orcutt tells of.a young politiciarf who, in his first appearance at a county fair, was trying to convince the farmers that he wae one of them. “Feeling the urge to get away from the hot pave ments last Sunday, my feet took me out into the country. As I walked along a bosky glade, I came out into a sylvan meadow through which flowed a pearly brook. Be side the brook stood a cow with an expression of anxiety on her face. I discovered that her offspring had fallen into the brook, and was un able to extricate itself from its dilemma. “And—fellow citizens. I waded in and lifted the helpless creature tenderly to the bank. And that mother cow, instead of going to her calf as one would have expected, came directly to me and lapped the dripping water from my clothes. “Now I ask you—was that not a demonstration of one of the greatest of all human attributes? Was that not a touching expression of grati tude?” “No,” came the answering voice from the crowd. “She thought she had another calf!” LAST WORD Alec Templeton, the blind piano virtuoso, is credited with having the last word in this story. A woman waylaid him after a radio broadcast nd gushed: “Oh, Mr. Templeton, that last selection you played was divine. May I ask who was the composer?” “Bach, madam,” Templeton re plied. “Wonderful,” the lady burbled, “and is he composing at present?” “No,”'the pianist answered, “de composing.” CAN DO BETTER The old farmer was dozing in the shade of his front porch, when a high-pressure salesman bustled up the front walk and awakened him with a cheery “Good afternoon.’* He had a sample book of a 10-volume set of scientific agriculture he was selling. The old farmer was at length persuaded to page through the specimen volume. “Nope,” he objected, “ain’t got no nse for it.* “But you ought to have it,** the salesman insisted. “It will teach you to farm twice as good as you do now.” “Nope, son,” barked the an cient agriculturist, “I don’t farm half as good uow as I know how.** Lncky Mishap A man arrived home rather late with a heavy red mark on his face. “Is that lipstick?” queried his wife ominously. “No, it’s blood—I had a nasty accident on the way home.” “Humph,” said the wife. “Thai was lucky for you.” Grown Up Air K N ADORABLE little two-piece dress for young girls with a grown-up air. The fitted top has tiny puffed sleeves; the flared skirt is attached to an under waist for comfort. • • • Pattern No. 8640 is a sew-rite perfo rated pattern for sizes 3. 4, 8, 6, 7 and 8 S ears. Size 4. 2 3/8 yards of 38 or 39- ich; underwaist. 3/8 yard. : 1 -'■JM 'boy o'boy/ pops right 3-IN-ONE MAKES THINGS RUN UKE NEW/ Send today _for^our _copy of ttie fall and winter STY1 48 pages of style, Newest Treasure K DD A NEW spread, scarf or ** cloth to your treasury of love ly accessories! Big flower square is newest fashion in filet crochet! Square is 12 inches in string, add edge after squares are joined. Pattern 963; charts; directions. Send 20 cents in coin, your name, ad dress and pattern number to . . . Sewing Ctrele Needleeraft Dept. P. O. Bex 5740, Chieage 89. 111. er P. O. Bex 16S, Old Chelsea Statlen. New York 11, N. Y. Enclose 20 cents for pattern. No. •eeeeeeaei Name Address L : J At the Arst staa ef • eaM ... take AMAMST! “Ws>a sUtuedAX SHOT to relieve E. Learencelle. AKAH1ST contains pare antihista- New in twe it AKA BIST Is the exclniivetrado- matk of ANAHtST COu LK.X ABCnCaS IwHVCT vK “V COME AND im Safer Cough Relief Use REMOVES ' 5-1* When new drugs or old fnltto *top your cough or chest cold donY delay. Creomulsion l contains only safe, help ful, proven ingredients and no nar cotics to disturb nature’s process. It goes right to the seat of the trouble to aid nature soothe and heal raw, ten der, inflamed bronchial membranes. Guaranteed to please you or druggist refunds mopey. Creomulsion has stood the test of many millions of users. i yen ea»T sleep—feel Just awful because you need a laxative — do as MILLIONS do — Chew rXXH-A-MIWT. rocM-A-Murr to wonderfully dlfferentl Doctors say many ether laxatives start their "flushing” action tee none. .'.tfifthM la the atemaeh. Large doees of such lax atives upset digestion, flush away nour ishing food you heed for health and energy ... you feel weak, worn out. But gentle raxw-A-acnrr. taken as reo- ommended. works chiefly in the Vo wag bowel where It removes only waste, net •V ■ geod feed! YOU avoid that feelln CREOMULSION feeling. Dae itxxn-a-iaint and feel f Ae „ fine, full of life! 28#. SO*, or only I v* iwm jnSlB I ■ 9 V. i i*\ * Y, 3 FOII FAST REUBF.^ - tains up to 2Va ^ salicylate and men- pain-relieving jy offered nib-in*l Lt than five oth«jnd^ off )w|b>i „ m : AOe. 1 QUICK! rubUI THE ORIGINAL BAUME ANALGESIQUB mm A Y M mw PETER UNO HAYKS, comedian: "1- found what dgamte mild- new meant when I made im own Camel 30-Day Tea! I RtFU CHAMPION Audrey Bockmann: More Peopl® Smoke Camels than am ^ ^ ’ mm mm DICK POW8LL. movie "My tew proved Cameb agree with my throat. And Camrh have the flavor I" TILTON, recording oats ”A* a anger, I certainly enjoy Camel wildnew - sad mile for a Tve joined who’d walk a cool, aalld Camel- ***** .