The sun. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1937-1972, August 25, 1950, Image 7
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THE NEWBERRY SUN, NEWBERRY. S. C.
Travel Folder
Crusty humor has ever been a
New England characteristic. The
Yankee has a dry way of putting
folks straight that's Just as keen
today as it was when Daniel Web
ster was speaking for New Hamp
shire in the bouse of representa
tives. '
A sly, wry, dig from New Hamp
shire was recently reported by a
motorist who was touring that
state during his vacation.
He stopped in a Plymouth res
taurant and was Just commencing
to question the proprietor about the
historic town when that worthy
silently handed him a booklet of
paper matches bearing the follow
ing information:
“Now let us get this straight.
You are in Plymouth, New Hamp
shire. Plymouth is in the geograph
ical center of New Hampshire. Its
altitude is 483 feet. The Pilgrims
did not land here.
“Plymouth Hock is not situated
in town. It had to be near the sea-
coast. The Mayflower did not
anchor in our harbor because we
haven’t any harbor.
“We have as goods if not better,
neighbors than any other town.
Our visitors are of the kind who
make us proud to have them
around.
“Our weather is regular New
England weather. Ninety per cent
of all the weather in the world
passes through our Main street
e^ery February. It is then distrib
uted to the weaker communities
in diluted doses."
NO SPECIAL RATES
“If you want to go to heaven.
Stand up," shouted the evangelist.
All stood except one old man.
“Don’t you want to go to heav
en?’’ asked the preacher.
"Yes,” said the old man. “but I
don’t want to go with no excur*
sion."
The Keystone Copper
Millionaire financier James Roth
schild was playing cards one eve-
*ning with several friends. As he
leaned forward to place a bet, he
accidentally dropped a coin on the
floor. He fell to his knees and
started to search for it.
\At this, one of the players could
not help laughing.
“Why all this fuss about one
coin?” he said. “Surely the house
of Rothschild is built on billions of
such coins.”
“That is true,” replied the finan
cier, “but I don’t know which one
is the keystone of the structure.”
Keeps Him Broke
Clothing Salesman — Does your
wife help you choose your clothes?
Customer — Yes, she picks the
pockets.
Fish Story
’’That fish I caught last week
was so big it pulled me into the
river.”
“Oh, so you got wet, tyih?”
"No, I landed on hjs back--find
came out dry as a bone.”
Disillnsionment
Trouble teaches you two things:
how many friends you have and
how many people were waj+*ng to
catch you bent over.
GOOD ADVICE
-AH/
CNMfUL l
Never slap a man who chews to.
bacco.
The Difference
Teacher: “What’s the difference
between caution and cowardice?”
Tommy: ‘Caution is when you
are afraid, and cowardice is when
the other fellow’s afraid ”
PERFECT PASTOR
In answer to the question,
"What is a prime minister?" a
pupil wrote: "A prime minister
is a preacher at his best."
Congested Area
“Grandma, do you have to take
all those different kinds of pills
every day?”
"Yes, Judy. Yellow ones for my
liver, pink ones for my stomach,
black ones for my heart, orange
ones for my nerves."
“Well. Grandma, what are the
red ones for—to direct traffic?”
This Afternoon Dress
Becomes Larger Woman
Done in Technicolor
8398
36-52
Interesting Treatment
Flattery for the larger woman
in an afternoon dress that fea
tures the favorite gored skirt, in
teresting waist treatment. Cap or
three quarter sleeves are pro
vided.
• • •
Pattern No. 8398 comes In sizes 36. 38,
40. 42. 44, 46, 48, SO and 82. Size 38, cap
sleeve, 4% yards of 35 or 39-inch. —
Send an additional twenty five cents
today for your copy of the fall and win
ter STYLIST. 48 pages filled with smart,
easy to sew styles; special features;
free pattern printed inside the book.
SSWINO CIRCLE PATTERN DEPT.
ftM Seeth Wells St., Chicago 7. 111.
Enclose 28 cents in coins for esch
pattern desired.
Pattern No* ...•.•••....Size • • • • • • • • •
Name .
Address
{w gv* gw gw O*
ASK MS O
; ANOTHER f
l A General Quiz.
Apply Black Leaf 40 t#
roosts with handy Cap
Brush. Fumes rise, killing
lice and feather mites,while
chickens perch. One ounce
treats 60 feet of fboste
-90 chickens. Directions
on package. Ask for Black
Leaf 40, the dependable
insecticide of many usee.
.644*6
Wku&t
TJERE’S THE WAY you want
** your new bedspread to look!
Colorful, dramatic, exciting? A
spread to be proud of, em
broidered by you.
see
* • . .
Outline, single-stitch and French knots.
Pattern 880; transfer one 18V4xl9tfa;
three 2x3-in. motifs.
Send 20 cents in coin, your name, ad
dress and pattern number to ^ • . .
tewing Circle Needleeraft Dept.
P. O. Bex 5740, Chleage 80, m. er
P. O. Bex 168, Old Chelsea Statlea,
11, hi* T.
New Perk
Enclose 20 cents for pattern.
No.
Name
Addri
• e ee••••e* a
N
teeeeeeeeeeeee
The Questions
1. What do the initials N. H. A.
stand for?
2. When and where was the
first automobile race in the United
States?
3. Name a famous French de
signer who was English by birth.
4. In the game of bridge, what
is a psychic bid?
5. What causes Mexican jump
ing beans to jump?
6. Name the United States
Presidents who have won the
Nobel Peace Prize.
The Answers
1. National Housing Agency.
2. At Chicago, 111., on Novem
ber 28, 1895.
3. Molyneux.
4. A bluff bid intended to fool
the opponents.
5. They are inhabited by grubs
of an insect which writhe and
double up, causing the bean to
jump.
6. Theodore Roosevelt in 1906,
and Woodrow Wilson in 1918.
The Questions
1. Give the plural of ox.
2. What are the Everglades?
3. What was the Emancipation
Proclamation?
4. What is a collier?
5. "The Hub of the Universe"
is the nickname for what city?
The Answers
1. Oxen.
2. Great swamp of Florida.
3. On January 1, 1863, Abraham
Lincoln ordered all slaves freed.
4. A coal miner; a navy coal
supply ship.
5. Boston.
MAIY NEVER
SISPECT CAISE
OF BACUCHES
As we get older, straes and
exertion, excessive smoking or
cold sometimes slows down kidney funo-
dim. This may lead many folks to com
plain of nagging backache, lose of pep and
up nights or frequent
from minor bladder i
dampness or dietary j
If your discomforts are due to
causes, don’t wait, try Doan’s Pills, a. mild
diurstie. Daad successfully by millions for
over 60 years. While these symptoms lLgy
often otherwise oejw. it's nmnxing how
many times Doan’s fhrs happy relief-
help the 18 miles of kidney tubes and 81 ten
flush out waste. Gat Doan’s Pills todays
Doan’s Pills
WHEN SLEEP WON'T
COME AND YOU
FEEL GLUM
Use Chewing-Gum Laxative—
REMOVES WASTE.-NOT GOOD FOOD
• Whew yo» can’t sleep—feel Just awful
because you need a laxative — do as
MILLIONS do — chew rrrN-A-MINT.
r-a-sciNT la 'wonderfully different!
Doctors say many other laxatives stark
their "flushing" action too moom ...right
la the stomach. Large doses of such lax
atives upset digestion, flush away nour
ishing food you need for health and
energy .., you feel weak, worn out.
But gentle itoc-a-mint, taken as r
omznended, works chiefly in the lot
bowel where, It removes oaly waste, aot
good food! You avoid that weak, tired
feeling. Dae ton-a-mint and feel
fine, full of life! 234. SO*, or
I
PLUG
HELPS ENGINES 3 WAYS
* A Smoother Engine Idle.
* Improved Gasoline Economy.
* Increased Electrode Life.
if Sscqum of Its low rate of electrode erosion,
the new Auto-Lite Resistor Spark Plug permit*
wider initial gap setting* and makes these
advantage* possible
isii root
LOCAL
DEALER
TUNE IN "SUSPENSEl"—TELEVISION TUESDAY—RADIO THURSDAY—CBS NETWORK
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