The sun. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1937-1972, July 21, 1950, Image 7

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THE NEWBERRY SUN, NEWBERRY. S. C. Knows Better If a man always lets his wife have her own way . . . it’s just because he tried to stop her once! r ME FOR SCRATCHES BI6 JAR 104 MOROLINE PETROLEUM JELLY nCWSPW-i GHBRGY! PUN TO KAT1 So How mBd can a cigarette be? MORE PEOPLE SMOKE CAMELS VIRGIL / By Len Klei* THE OLD GAFFER By Clay Hunter By MELLORS $ w the good be ?f*X**3i£»* •** f «• • s # than any other cigarette! mnd among the millions who io.— I PETER LIND HAYES Star of stage and TV: “I found what cigarette mildness means when I made my own Camel 30- Day Test! I’ve smoked Camels ever since!'* Only Bad Health Can Get Irish Down WACG.TEX.—Mrs. Tom C. Gaddy, 010 Washington Ave., claims the only thing that will get a good Irish man down is bad health—and that won’t happen in the Gaddy home because Crazy Water Crystals are very much a part of the family. She says: “For twenty years, I haven’t been without Crazy Water Crystals. Every morning I take a teaspoon- Mrs. Gaddy ful in a glass of warm water. I have had a lot of stomach trouble—and I belie vo Crazy Water Cry stabs has done more for me than all the rest of the medicines on the market. It stops heartburn, indigestion and stomach bloating right now! My husband and I both use Crazy Water Crystals when our systems are sluggish. There isn’t enough that can be said about the wonderful results we get from them.” No matter how old you are or where you live—Crazy Water Crys tals are good for you because they are nature’s own product. Many ailments that folks suffer with—upset stomach, gas pains, headaches, run - down, played - out feeling and many other body aches and pains can often be attributed to faulty elimination. DON’T ENDURE THESE HARD SHIPS any longer. Get effective, pleasant relief today from nature’s own Crazy Water Crystals; buy them at your drug store today, half lb., 86c; full lb., $1.26. SATISFAC TION GUARANTEED BY Crazy Water Co., Inc., Mineral Wells, Texas.—Adv. MUTT AND JEFF JEFF TELL ME 'j WELL. WHEN I WAS TWO VEARS OLD MV PARENTS MOVED AWAV' ^7? By Bud Fuher ABOUT VOUR CH1LDHOOD-- VOUR PARENTS!, WHEN I WAS FOUR VEARS OLD I FOUND THEM--ON A FARM * 7 WELL.LIFE WAS X didn't SO TOUCH ON THE \ THEV FARM THAT ONE ) F , H q NIGHT I RAN FAR \ v©U? AWAV— FOR THREE VEARS/ rTHEV A I DIDN'T \ BOTHER ' LOOKING/ f-THEN AFTER KNOCKING AROUND SAN FRANCISCO . FOR THREE VEARS ) THEN I WENT BACK TO / WHAT MV PARENTS /HAPPENED ON THE FARM/ ^ THEN MV PARENTSI RAN AWAV/ IT JITTER ML By Arthur Pointer JITTER FELL OFF A BRIDGE AND LANDED ON A RAGING SAILBOAT. HE’S A SAILOR. NOW VWETHEF? HE LINES IT OR NOT. HOW ARE WE DOING? 1 BET FAY SHIRT THAT WE'D WIN THIS WYLDE AND WOOLY WE HAVEN’T CAPTURED W HO, AND I ] ANY BANDITS LATELY. COULD USE ‘ - ^7 SOME REWARD V \ MONEY. ^ ^ LET'S EASE OVER % TO THE RAILROAD STATION AN 7 STUDY THE POSTERS. ^ By Bert Thomas * FOP ALWAYS COMES HOME WITH SOME SWELL STORIES AFTER HE'S BEEN IN HERE. LET'S HEAR A COUPLE! " " ISN'T IT WONDERFUL TO BE IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE you LIKE?* Must Have Been Green During his early playing days, the late Babe Ruth possessed an enormous appetite. Often, at jthe ball park, he would eat a half- dozen frankfurters at a sitting. One afternoon in the locker room before the game, manager Miller Huggins noticed that Ruth looked a little green. “Is something wrong. Babe?’’ he asked. “My stomach’s acting up,’* said Ruth. “It must be that party I went to last night. I never saw so much food in my life; lobsters, crabs, clams, roast turkey, fried chicken and to‘ top it off—straw berries.” “And I suppose you helped your self to everything in sight,” said the manager. “Yes,” confessed Ruth with a groan. “But that’s the last time I’U ever eat strawberries!” OUGHT TO SUE A well-known lawyer was always lecturing his office bpy—whether he needed it or not. One day he chanced to hear the following con versation between the boy and the one employed next door. “How much does he pay you?” asked the latter. “I get $2,000 a year,” replied the office boy—“ten dollars a/week in cash and the rest in legal advice.* 1 Three Stories Here are three Samuel Goldwyn stories: Goldwyn in a talk to his em ployees started off with: ‘‘Gentle men, I want you to know that I am not always right—but I am never wrong.” And the one about some visitor admiring his wile’s hands. “Yes,” said Goldwyn, “she has got beauti ful hands—I am thinking of having a bust made of them.” And when he decided not to join a certain undertaking by several Hollywood producers, Goldwyn said: “Gentlemen, include me out!” Dangerous Spot A Yankee tourist was out sight seeing in London. They took him aboard the old battleship Victory, which was Lord Nelson’s flagship in several of his famous naval tri umphs. An English sailor escorted the Yank over the vessel, and coming to a raised brass tablet on the deck, he said, as he reverently removed his hat: “’Ere, sir, is the spot where Lord Nelson fell.” “Oh, is it?” replied the Ameri can-blankly. “Well, that ain’t noth in’. I nearly tripped on the durned thing myself.” Quick Recovery That’s a wonderful nurse you have here,” said the hospital pa tient to the intern. “The touch of her hand cooled my fever instant ly.” “Yeah,” agreed the intern, “we heard the slap all through the ward.” NO TIME TO QUIBBLE The hunter came running back to the others of the party. “Just met a big bear,” he panted, breath* lessly, pointing to the woods, “back there.” “Good!” shouted the others al most in unison. “Did you let him have both bar rels?” “Both barrels?” demanded the nimrocl. “I gave him the whole gun!” THE APPRENTICE The quack was selling an elix ir which he declared would make men live to a great age. “Look at me!” he shouted. “Hale and hearty and I’m over 390 years old!” “Is he really that old?” a listener asked the man’s assist ant. “Really, I can’t say,” replied the assistant. “I’ve only worked for him for 100 years.” .. ■■■ " " Personal Question The doctor was questioning the new nurse about her latest patient. “Have you kept a chart of his progress?” The nurse blushingly replied, “No, but I can show you my diary.” = mmmmm . ■ —— — NEEDLEWORK PATTERNS I Pineapple Motif for Chair Set Daisy H ERE’S YOUR / favorite pine apple design that ih joined to gether to create a ’daisy fresh’ chair set. Crochet it in white or ecru cotton—handy needlework for summer pick-up work. Paltera No. 8990 consists of complete crocheting instructions, material require ments, stitch illustrations aud finishing directions. Don’t miss the big Anne Cabot ALBUM —it’s filled with fascinating needle-work suggestions, four nlree patterns printed Inside the book. Send 25 cents today. SEWING CIRCLE NEEDLEWORK SSO Seats WeUs SL, CUeage 7. BL Enclose 20 cents for pattern. No. Name * Address Youth Wins Bot by Socking Officer, But Goes to Jail RIPON, Wis. — Robert Staho- wiak, 19, bet a friend $100 he wot have th£ nrirve to punch a police man in the nose. He did. But the one punch cost Stal wiak $100 fine on an assault battery charge, plus $59 plus six months in the county jaiL He had also been charged gambling, but it was dropped, judge alsd ruled that Stal could not be probated dr pi Hush puppies Hushpuppies, now a fat hot bread, are a development cornmeal cake fried in fish fi be fed to hunting dogs when howled. Hence the name. -m ’ . • * HELPS ENGINES * A Smoother Engine Idle. * Improved Gasoline Economy* . : m * Increased Electrode Lire. * Ssmwm sf ft* law fate at atedroda th« now Auio-LHa RmIsN TUNE IN 7m Sx — v-r V.'x 1 PRINCE ALBERT IN MY PIPE MEANS REAL SMOKING COMF0AT_A RICH- TASTING SMOKE THAT’S MILO AND MELLOW Princa Albert’s choice, crimp cut tobacco is specially treated to insura against tongua bite For milder smoking joy, fill your pipe with P. THE NATION/ JOY SMOKE TUNS