The sun. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1937-1972, June 16, 1950, Image 3
£
BROADWAY AND MAIN STREET
This Guy Khrustalev Must Have a Lot of Crust,
Making Fun of Poor Old Joe Stalin That Way
Good Care Can Give
Farm Tires More Wear
Eight Ways Fanners Can
Use to Keep Down Cost
Hre service experts say there
are eight things the average farm
er can do to get the best possible
return on his $200 or more invest
ment in the tires on his vehicles.
And coming just at the start of the
planting season they serve as
timely suggestions.
According to the B. F. Goodrich
farm service department, farmers
observing these tips will not only
protect their tires and make them
last longer, but will obtain maxi
mum efficiency from their equip
ment:
1. Check air pressure twice a
month, taking reading first thing
in the morning when tires are
cool. Never release air from tires
l' ,
Regular examination of farm
tires and prompt repairs to
cats, bruises or other damage
may prevent most costly re
pairs. Gaywood. Wagner, Free
hold, N. J., is shown inspecting
a sidewall cot in one of the
multi-ring front tires on his
tractor.
after running tractor for long
periods in hot sun. This will result
in under-inflation and possible tire
damage when casing cools off.
2. Do not permit grease or oil
to remain on tires. This shortens
the life of rubber. Wash off chemi
cals which accumulate after spray
ing with tractor.
3. When using liquid weight in
rear tractor tires, do not fill tire
more than three-quarters full of
liquid. Maintain correct air pres
sure, because a slight leak under
this condition will cause a much
greater decrease in pressure than
if the tire were 100 per cent air-
filled.
4. When tractor is not in use for
long periods, jack it up and cover
it. Inflate tires to recommended
pressure before putting tractor
back in service.
5. Always use valve caps to
keep out dirt and moisture and to
prevent possible trouble from leaky
valves.
6. Examine tires regularly for
signs of damage and remove stones
and other foreign objects from
treads. Have cuts, bruises or oth
er tire damage repaired as soon as
they are discovered.
7. Choose correct size when pur
chasing tires, keeping in mind the
load they must carry and the par
ticular job for which the tractor is
used.
8. Drive carefully at all times—
especially on the highway—to ob
tain longer life from tires and to
extend yo’.ir own.
Power Saw
A new lightweight portable
power saw, weighing only 25
pounds complete with blade and
chain, recently has been placed
on the market. The unit is de
signed for cutting cordwood,
anld clearing, felling, and buck
ing timber, making posts, and
tree surgery.
Secretary Braxman Pays
Tribute to Homemakers
Secretary of Agriculture Charles
F. Brannan paid tribute to three
million homemakers in home dem
onstration work in special messages
during the annual Home Demon
stration week.
Be said: “Better informed, more
prosperous, healthier and happier
rural people are most important
assets to our democracy. As you
look around your homes you must
be conscious of your efforts.**
By BILLY ROSE
Generalissimo Joseph V. Stalin
Chairman, Council of Ministers
Kremlin, Moscow, U. S. S. R.
Dear Joe:
If I may be so bold, I’d like to call your attention to a matter which
is no laughing matter, even though it’s been getting a lot of laughs
lately. Namely, the recent efforts of your propaganda boys to win
friends and influence people in this part of the world.
Take, for instance, last winter’s
lollapalooza about how your engi
neers were nudging
mountains with
uranium. We de
generate d e m o-
crats, whether you
know it or not, are
a fact-minded peo
ple who thrive on
details. When a fel
low says he’s Na
poleon we want to
see his birth certi
ficate, and when Billy Rose
he’s atomized an
Alp we want to see the hole in the
ground.
Then there were the recent hum
dingers which claimed that every
doodad from the wheel to the fly
ing saucer had been invented by a
Russian. Now, I can’t doubt that
many an important idea has been
hatched between the Carpathians
and the Urals, but when your prop
aganda machine gives the rest of
the world credit for nothing but the
Lindy hop and the bubonic plague,
a lot of folks who might otherwise
be friendly begin to titter—and
even your legitimate claims get
lost in the chuckle.
OUR MASS REACTIONS were
neatly summed up a few months
ago when The New Yorker car
tooned a group of your agents in
China discussing policy. “The main
thing is to handle them with tact,”
said one of them. “Let them think
they invented gunpowder.” Some
issues later, the same periodical
ran another captious cartoon in
which several Politburocrats were
debating the question, “Shall we
invent television now or wait until
they perfect color?”
As another, and admittedly pica-
yune, example of what I’m getting
at, let me tell you about my own
experiences with your editors and
copywriters.
Every now and occasionally, at
some idle-eye in your press divi
sion bos apparently noticed, l
take a playful poke at your re
gime in my column—an event
which certainly doesn’t figure to
precipitate a crisis of state. But
instead of filing it in the waste
basket and going about their
business, your name-callers have
twice made the mistake of an
swering back — and both times
with the finesse of a lumberjack
trying to tat.
The first time, a year ago, both
Pravda and Izvestia reported I was
a “white slaver” and that my
humpty-dumpty little cabaret was
“the biggest bordello in the world.”
And as if that weren’t enough, they
went on to say that my partners in
this enterprise were John Edgar
Hoover and Bernard M. Baruch.
Well, as might have been ex
pected, this bombastic bombshell
exploded nothing but giggles. Time
magazine reprinted the item as a
gag, my chorus girls threatened to
picket the Russian consulate, and
the syndicate which handles my
stuff picked up a few more papers.
ALL OF WHICH should have
taught your word-wasters a lesson,
but it didn’t. A few days ago,
someone mailed me the February
issue of your magazine, Novy Mir
(New World), and—lo and surprise!
—in it was an article by one P.
Khrustalev which, by way of docu
menting the degeneracy of Amer
ican culture, described me as “a
gangster with three chins” who
“murdered a man and grabbed his
capitaL”
f took this, l assure you, as a
plaudit rather than a potshot.
On your way up, as / get it, you
knocked off a couple of banks
yourself, and since have undoubt
edly knocked off an opponent or
three. Khrustalev, it was evident,
meant to be complimentary when
be word-painted me in the image
of Soviet Citizen No. 1.
All kidding aside, though, don’t
•you think it’s about time you sent
for your typewriter assassins and
pointed out that their releases are
getting more howls than hosannas?
And while you’re at it, you might
point oyt that Joe Goebbel's theory
—the bigger the lie the more apt it
is to be believed—only works with
people who desperately want to be
lieve the lie.
One thing more: I fraternally
suggest you keep an eye on this
Khrustalev fellow who said I had
three chins. Such a man, in a reck
less moment, might describe his
premier as having two heads.
Sincerely,
Billy Rose
By INEZ GERHARD
R ONALD COLMAN has emerged
so completely from professional
retirement that nobody would be
surprised if be returned to his first
love, the stage, where Lilian Gish
discovered him years ago and had
him engaged as her leading man
in ‘*1716 White Sister.” His radio
show, “The Halls of Ivy,” Wednes-
RONALD COLMAN
day nights on NBC, was the first
step. Next came the hilarious
United Artists picture, “Cham
pagne for Caesar,” his first film
in three years. Colman is wonder
ful as a double-or-nothing quiz con
testant who runs his take up to ^
$40,000,000 jackpot. Even the tal
ented parrot who plays “Caesar”
can’t steal scenes from him—quite
a feat!
LoWell Thomas, CBS newscaster,
had quite a week recently. The
doctor let him discard the crutches
he’d been using for seven months,
ever since he was thrown from a
horse while trekking through Tibet.
And his son was married, with
Thomas as the best man. The
beautiful wedding took place in a
charming church in Greenwich,
Conn. James Melton sang.
Jan Sterling’s standing at
Paramount was boosted so
high by audience reaction to
her work in “United States
Mail” and “Union Station,”
when they were shown at
sneak previews, that she was
given a top assignment in
“Ace in the Hole.”
Mona Freeman has been wor
ried; she’s so little and looks so
young that she feared she’d never
get roles where she could look her
age—25. “I could just see my
daughter growing up,” said she,
“And going to the movies with a
boy friend, pointing to a bobby-
soxer on the screen and saying
“That’s my mother’ ”. But now
Mona's happy; she looks her age
in “Branded.”
THE
ncnoN
CORNER
VANITY ALL
By Richard H. Wilkinson
##pVERY MAN,” said Inspector
Joe Warren, frowning over
the letter which he held in his
hand, “has a weak point In the
case of "The
Flash,’ most dar-
3 - Mlnitta ing criminal of
Fiction this cit3r * 8
ncviOfl history, it ap _
pears to be van
ity.” He gestured toward the letter.
“The fellow has become drunk
with his success in accomplishing
two outstanding robberies. And
now he has taken to writing us let
ters, stating just where he’s going
to be at a certain time and what he
plans to do.”
Detective Fargo blew smoke
rings at the ceiling and evaded his
chiefs eyes.
“So far,” he said, “he seems to
have been pretty successful in car
rying out his plans. This is the
third letter we’ve received.
“Each time The Flash has
appeared where he said he
would at exactly the time de
noted in his letters. And while
we’ve stood idly by he’s com
mitted his crimes and es
caped. What’s he up to this
time?”
“The Devonshire party,” Warren
growled. The truth of Fargo’s state
ment scored him. “Mrs. Devonshire
is planning to wear that valuable
emerald her husband brought her
from Europe a month ago. The
Flash states in this letter that he
intends to steal the emerald and
defies us to stop him.”
Fargo crushed out his cigaret.
“Have you taken any steps to
prevent the robbery?”
“Fargo, as you know, the Flash’s
disguise is perfect. He’ll appear at
that party as a guest, or servant
or someone with whom the Devon-
shires are but slightly acquainted.
I want you to go up there early.
Stewart Granger is going to be
stuck in costume pictures for a
long time to come. M-G-M was de
lighted with his performance in
“King Solomon’s Mines,” and will
now turn him into a swashbuckling
hero. H* will do “Robinsin Cru
soe,
Tvanhoe,” in full-blown
Technicolor, followed by that old
favorite, “Scaramouche,” and
then will don uniform for Kipling’s
“Soldiers Three.”
The butler’s face was white
and drawn.
meet Mrs. Devonshire when she
comes down stairs and stick with
her until the last guest has gone.
Then see to it that the emerald is
stored away in a safe before you
j leave. I’ll have Johnson and a
couple of other men mingling with
the guests.”
A T 11 O’CLOCK on the night of
the Devonshire party Inspec
tor Warren drew his roadster up
before the palatial mansion and
ascended the steps.
Warren stepped quickly inside.
And at that moment Mrs. Devon
shire, accompanied by her husband
and Detective Fargo^ came flying
down the stairs.
"What’s happened?” Warren
barked at Fargo, Ignoring the
Incoherent babble of Mrs. Dev-
•Tfs gone,” Fargo grated. “About
an hour ago. I was standing behind
Mrs. Devonshire in the reception
line. Someone poked a gun in my
back and told me to walk back
wards. When I saw the fellow’s
face I knew it was The Flash, be
cause he was a dead ringer lor
myself.” n ,
“A ringer for you!” Warren
gasped. “What the devil do you
mean?”
‘T mean,” said Fargo grimly,
“that his disguise this time looked
like me, generally speaking. He
forced me into a closet and cracked
me over the head. Naturally no
one noticed that anything was hap
pening, as Mrs. Devonshire was ex
hibiting her emerald at the time.
“Ten minutes ago I came to
and began to kick on the door.
Devonshire opened it. I rushed
to Mrs. Devonshire and discov
ered that she had just missed
her emerald.— The Flash has
outsmarted us again!”
Warren slumped wearily into a
chair.
“Tomorrow,” he groaned, “every
newspaper in the city will have the
story. It will be the most humiliat
ing moment of my life.”
Fargo smiled bitterly.
“Every man has his weak point,”
he said. “Yours seems to be
vanity.”
WHAT SAY? . . . Sporting his
first new hat in 50 years, Frank
E. Gimlett, famous hermit of
Arbor Villa, Colo., and advo
cate of a return to the gold
standard, shows how he re
gained control of his speech
after suffering a stroke last
February.
This Is
Your Paper
A Little Late'
Means Trouble
By William R. Nelson
A PUBLICITY chairman of a
prominent civic group rushes
breathlessly into the newspaper
office, her face a picture of worry.
*1 hope you will forgive my be
ing late with our news, but I simply
forgot what day this is,” she be
gan. “I just have to get this an
nouncement into the paper.”
In a metro-
Deadline politan news-
ls paper office
Deadline nothing could
be done to help
her. Deadline is deadline there. But,
in the home town paper office it
.is sometimes difficult to be so rigid
about deadlines. In the hypothetical
instance cited, let us assume an
exception is made. Here is what
would probably happen.
The breathless chairman would go
her way much relieved. Although
received after deadline time, her
organization’s news will be in the
paper, as usual. v '
At the newspaper, however, the
chairman’s tardiness has precip
itated a chain reaction of upset
schedules that will affect virtually
every member of the staff.
An editor will have to handle an
other news story. One or more items
already in type, win have to. be
shortened to make room for the
late story. Type already set will
have to be discarded and more
set. Page dummies will have to be
altered. Lockup of page forms will
be delayed. Printing and distribi>>
tion will be off schedule. ‘
This probably
e x a g gerated
example of
what happens
when someone
imposes late news upon the paper,
is duplicated, even more disrupt-
ingly, whenever an advertiser fails
to get copy to the paper on time.
As long as humans are prone to
forget, have accidents, or other
wise be delayed in performing du
ties, it will probably be necessary
for stores and newspapers to occa
sionally accept such impositions.
But these disruptions of necessary
schedules will be materially re
duced, no doubt, when people fully
realize what inconvenience their
tardiness causes.
Whenever you have news or ad
vertising for the paper, get it in
well ahead of the deadline. You
will- get better service, and have
the satisfaction of knowing that you
did not impose upon the newspa
per’s people.
Cause
of
Inconvenience
M PUZZLE
LAST WOK'S
ANSWER p
ACROSS
1. Indian
(Peru)
5. Crowds
9. A rule or
standard
10. Incite
11. Bush
12. Norse god
14. Tungsten
(abbr.)
15. God of
earth \
(Egypt.)
17. Anger
18. Old wine
’ cup
10. City (Vt)
23. Talks
25. Gazelle
(Tibet)
26. Edible
mollusk
28. City (It.)
82. In place of
34. Center
85. Broadcast,
as seed
39. Arch
40. Sphere
41. Slope
43. Pronoun
44. Stall at a
fair
47. Flower
49. Reliable
50. American
Indian
5L River of
Hades
(myth.)
52. Seizes
DOWN
L Brutish.
2. Likewise
not
3. The shank
(Anat.)
4. Fossil resin
5. Part of face
6. Finnish
seaport
7. Vehicles
(Paints)
8. Severe
XL Male deer
(pi.)
13. Masculine
nickname
16. Insect
19. Sleeveless
garment
fcArab.)
21. Male cat
22. Secular
24. Put
through
a sieve
27. Fate
29. Bowl
underhand
30. Stirs up
3L Abounding
in news
33. Primary
color
35. Weep con-,
vulsively
36. Peevish
37. Around
38. Become
mature
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Germans Mad About
Burlesque Shows
Nearly every big-city German
night club has at least one female
performer whose specialty is un
dressing in public. The customers
flock in droves to this new wrinkle
in German entertainment. It re
minds old time Germans of the
spicy entertainment that sprang
up after World War I.
The girl most West Germans
prefer to see is a sloe-eyed
brunette named Laya Raki. She
says she is half Dutch and half
Indonesian.
She does a dance called “The
Indian Gravestone” which def
initely is. out of the cemetery class
and which leaves her quite chilly
from the waist up. Since Miss
Raki is a girl who might give
pause to Jane Russell, the cus
tomers love it.
They blow foam off seidels of
beer and applaud wildly when her
gold scarf is discarded and she
dances in a smile and a G-string.
A tour of Frankfurt night clubs
yields a bounteous harvest of un
dressed entertainment, but the
German version of the American
strip tease rarely is subtle.
In one night club a flashily
dressed master of ceremonies an
nounced Miss so-and-so would
dance a tango.
A weary orchestra thumped
away while a black-haired frau-
lein trudged aimlessly about wear
ing a G-string and two feather
Ians. Occasionally she dropped
tier fans to bare her chest to the
enthusiastic audience.
It was anything but a tango but
nobody seemed to mind.
One night club run by a German
woman has rung in another ver
sion of undressed entertainment.
Every night at 12 o’clock a 10-
minute motion picture of semi-
nude girls is shown.
The scenes are set in the night
club. While a man and woman
hold hands amorously, girls with
bare chests and loin cloths made
of artificial butterflies or orchids
simper daintly.
It has the place packed every
night. ^
Long Division
Herbie’s mother caught him in
an act of. violence. He had cut a
worm in two.
“Why did you do such a cruel
thing?” asked his mother.
“Well, Mom,” explained Herbie,
“he seemed so lonely l**
i'ilm MOROLIN
* : T W - > • £ U V fc I ^ > I '
Coffee to Horse Radish
Use an after dinner coffee spoon
for old-fashioned cocktails or tiny
bowls of mustard or horse radish.
Good Dessert
Here’s a gorgeous dessert for
your family. And it’s so simple.
Slice donuts crosswise and place
one half in the bottom of each
dish. Cover with maple syrup and
add the other donut half. Fill and
top with more maple syrup and
garnish with cherry or walnut.
Wording of Invitation
The engraved invitation to the
ceremony always requests the
“honor of your presence” while
the invitation to the reception re
quests the “pleasure of your com
pany “
99
Buffet Near Pass Door
If you want a pass door *in the
wall between the kitchen and
dining room, be sure it opens onto
a buffet or built-in serving counter
on both sides of the wall.
Sunday Breakfast
Add new interest to an old
favorite by serving sliced bananas
between two or three helpings of
golden French toast, made from
nutritious enriched bread. Then
smother all with maple syrup,
jelly, or confectioners’ sugar.
Crisp bacon, hot pork sausages,
or fried ham make this tempting
fare perfect for Sunday morning
breakfasts or daily lunches. Try
it with other fresh and canned
fruita too. It’s a real treat.
pun iq
liiil LLu
3NDFEVFP
Relieves Soreness, Aches
Pains of the Muscles.
Sold at all leading Drug S
A sample bottle FREE
sending this ad to '
THE SWANSON CO.
GREAT EXPEGTA1
for 75 cents
Perfume you’ll lov-j for It*
sophistication.-Perfume that’*
Made, packed and sealed i
Bond Street. The exelumm
Goya, Europe’s youngest,
perfumer. It 1* sold nor
but has been Imported __
Bacons for you to try. Today
address and 75 cents—be first ’
, GREAT EXPECTATIONS! (
Te Geya, 4*7 Park Aveaaa, N«
SZ, N. a.
»arsa :
Please send me
flacon ef Goya’s Great
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VACATION IN COOL, SCENIC GRANDEUR ABOVE
CLOUDS, SWIM, GOLF, RIDE HORSEBACK, DANCE,
Come, live and enjoy the refreshing luxury of this WORLD-]
MOUS RESORT. 6' miles from Chattanooga. Swimming pool,
golf, archery, beauty and gown shop. America’s most beauti
ful patio open evenings with dancing beneath starlit skies to
the famous Lookout Mountain Orchestra . . . Rates $7.00 and up
daily, including meals, swimming and patio dancing privileges.
(Special family and seasonal rates.) Write to Lookout Mountain
Hotel, Lookout Mountain, Tenn. Phone 3-1742 Chattanooga.
OPEN MAY TO OCTOBER.
LOOKOUT MOUNTAIN HOTEL **
cm/ pt/eefflse of 3-ie. cam of
H.
NO
ml* y»' ***** b j
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