The sun. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1937-1972, May 05, 1950, Image 7
THE NEWBERRY SUN, NEWBERRY. S. C.
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SUNNYSIDE
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THE OLD GAFFER
By Clay Hunter
SHUCKS, MM/
MWO NEEDS ONE?/
BOUFORD
By MELLORS
MUTT AND JEFF
Mutt, listen, if
THE COP ON THE
COPNEP DIRECTED
TRAFFIC FOR
By Bud Fisher
JITTER
By Arthur Pointer
^WA
WAIT'LL YOU SEE IT; HONEY...I1L BET
IT WINS FIRST PRIZE IN THE MODEL SHOW.
BOY.....
SHE'S A HONEY/
TOV
sailboat
RACE TOW*
MDNSOREP
•V
RAfiK BOARD
WYLDE AND WOOLY
CAME
THE
DAV/N..
By Bert Thomas
b
HE MAY B£ STUPID, CONCEITED,
POOR AND UNATTRACTIVE . . .
BUT HE'S MY MAN/"
— ^
T he overnight guest of •
New Orleans hotel was im
pressed by the smart, intelligent
ibellhop who had his bags at the
'curb and a taxi waiting for him
.the moment he was ready to go.
‘He flipped the young man a 50-cent
piece.
‘‘Make it a dollar,” the bellhop
whispered, ‘‘and I won’t mention
the hotel towels you packed.”
The guest Indignantly exclaimed,
“Young man, I could have you ar-
, rested for making a groundless
accusation like that!”
‘‘Don’t get upset, sir,” the bell
hop answered cheerfully. ‘‘Nine
times out of ten, it works.”
SOMEWHAT RESTRICTED
vS
Although as big and as strong as
the policeman who had arrested
him, the man with the dose-
cropped hair and brutal face al
lowed himself to be marched to
ward the police station.
There had been the usual crowd
in anticipation of a scrap, but it
had drifted away when they saw
there was nothing doing. Even the
policeman admitted it was the
tamest arrest he had made for
many a day.
*Tt isn’t like you to go so quiet
ly,” he remarked. ‘‘What’s taken
all the ginger out of you?”
The prisoner sighed: ‘T’ve got
my best clothes on.”
Taking No Chances
■“I love you! I love you!” he
murmured for the nineteenth time.
‘‘Speak! Answer me!”
The maiden coyly hung her head.
*T—oh, Tom, this is so sudden!”
she pleaded.
He drew her close to him.
‘‘Don’t be afraid, darling!” he
said gently. “Would you like me
to ask your mother first?”
With a sudden cry of alarm she
threw her arms around his neck.
“No, no!” she gasped. “Mother
is a widow. I want you myselfl”
Refined Hint
The hard-up sportsman bought a
horse but neglected to pay for him.
A few weeks later, he met the man
who sold him the horse.
“I’m not at all satisfied with that
animal,” the sportsman said.
“Why, what’s the trouble?”
asked the dealer.
“Well, he won’t hold his head
up.”
“That’s just his pride,” said the
dealer. “Wait until he’s paid for.”
Unfair Treatment *
Prisoner: “The judge sent me
here for the rest of my life.”
Guard: “Why are you complain
ing?”
Prisoner: “Swingin’ this sledge
hammer isn’t my idea of a rest.”
One Came True
Jack: “Have any of your child
hood dreams been realized?”
Tim: “One of them. When my
mother combed my hair I used to
wish I didn’t have any.”
That’s All
Boxer: “Have I done him any
damage?”
Disgusted Second: “No, but keep
swinging, the draft might give him
a cold.”
Watch It, Chief!
First Cannibal: “The Chief has
hayfever.”
Second Cannibal: “Serves him
right. I told him not to eat that
grass widow.”
ONE EXPLANATION
“Momie, what becomes of an
automobile when it gets too old to
run any more?”
“Why, somebody sells it to your
father, dearie, for a used car as
good as new.”
HONEST CONFESSION
Father: “Yes, my boy, I’m a
self-made man.”
Son: “Gee, Pop, that’s what I
admire about you. You always
take the blame for everything.”
« Thoughtful Lad
Sophomore: “Dad, do you know
that you’re a lucky man?”
Father: ‘‘How is that?”
Sophomore: “You won’t have to
buy new books for me this year.
I am taking last year’s work over
again.”
GRASSROOTS
Plenty Time
T HE MOTHER and daughter
were busy with the wedding {
(plans when the bridegroom-to-bej
called. He watched the prepara
tions rather impatiently for a
while, until his future wife noticed
his look of annoyance.
“Darling, we have such a lot to
do,” she soothed, “and if we want
to make our wedding a big success
|we mustn’t forget the most insig
nificant detail!”
“Oh, don’t worry about that,’*
murmured the young man. “I’ll bs
'there all right.”
ON THE BALL
Andy called at the big business
house to apply for a job he had
seen advertised.
“But, my dear man,” said the
manager, "you are much too late!
Why I’ve had over a thousand ap
plications already!”
Andy looked thoughtful.
“Well,’*’ he said after a while,
.“how about hiring me to classify
the applications?”
That Explained It
At the booking agent's office a
magician was trying to sell his act.
“I’ve got the greatest act in the
world,” he declared. “I pull 200
lighted cigars from nowhere, puff
on each of them, and then swallow
the entire 200.”
The agent was amazed. “You
swallow 200 lighted cigars!” he
gasped. “How on earth do you
manage to do it?”
The magician smiled blandly.
**Very simple,” he replied. “I have
connections in Cuba—and I get the
cigars at a wholesale price.”
The Man Was Right
They were standing before a
large painting entitled “Echo” in
an art museum.
“I suppose,” said one man, “it
( is appropriate to depict Echo as a
iwoman, because she always has
(the last word.”
1 “On the other hand,” returned
i the second man, “an echo speak#
only when spoken to.”
Admitted Ownership
Young Husband: “This pie is
burnt. Send it back to the store.”
Young Wife: “I didn’t buy it. It’#
my own cremation.”
Naturally
“You’re always wishing for what
you haven’t got.”
“Well, what else can one wish
for?”
Eye-Dropper
“Joe has a glass eye.”
“Did he tell you that?”
“No; it just came out in the con
versation.”
MATTER OF DIRECTION
A motorist stopped his car on a
country road and asked a native
how far it was to Millerstown. The
reply was:
“It’s 24,996 miles the way you’re
headed, but if you turn around it
ain’t but four.”
Simple Economics
Upon due reflection, a rural
school teacher decided to give full
credit to a pupil for his answer to
an arithmetic problem.
The question: “If your father
sold 1,500 bushels of grain for $2
per bushel, what would he get?”
The answer: “A new car.”
NO VALUE RECEIVED
Toll Operator: “The rate is
$1.20 for three minutes and 30c
for each additional minute.”
Caller: “Do you take any
thing off for just listening? I
want to call my wife.”
Theirs Not to Reason Why 7 Is
Good Motto for Navy Officers
By Wright A. Patterson
W HILE I was sitting in the office
of Newton D. Baker, then
secretary of war, an assistant
brought him a disclipinary card
from an officer’s training camp.
It was the card of a much-loved
nephew who had failed getting a
commission and had appealed to
his uncle for the desired document.
After glancing at the card for
a moment, Mr. Baker said to
his assistant: “I'm terribly
sorry, bat I can do nothing for
him. Tell him for me that those
who question or do not obey
orders are not qualified to give
orders.”
I have on several occasions
thought of that statement when
reading the deriding and question
ing statements of naval officers in
nationally circulated periodicals
who are refusing to accept without
question the orders of their su
periors, the secretary of the navy,
the secretary of defense, the Pres
ident and the congress.
These high-ranking officers in
clude Adm. Lewis E. Denfeld, CapL
Crommelin and others. They were,
by example encouraging the low
ering of morale of the enlisted per
sonnel of the navy. Ordinary sea
man John Doak is ordered to holy
stone the deck of the ship of which
he is serving, but does Doak, think
ing such a job not needed, say
“No?” To disobey the command
of a petty officer is mutiny.
But it is no more mutiny
than is the refusal of an admir
al to unquestloningty obey the
orders he receives from higher
authority. Gob Doak has an ex
ample set for him by those of
higher rank, and they are re
sponsible for the lowering of
his morale.
To prevent this and aid in restor
ing enlisted morale, a court martial
Is needed for two or three of high
rank who continue to deride and
question orders and authority of
those who outrank them.
If they wish to question, they
ihould obey first and then do their
questioning through regular chan
nel#.
It is not for the best interests
of the services or ef the nation
that high officers ef the navy,
disagreeing with the orders
and policies of their superiors,
should carry their personal
grievances to the public through
the columns of nationally cir
culated periodicals.
That is making a political Issue
If something that has no place in
partisanship. The public is not in a
fair position to judge who is ri|
These officers can become privat
citizens and then maintain ttw
rights to say what they wish.
As naval offycers, they do not
have that right.
*
Led by President Truman, his
Democratic party followers, and
rogue Republicans—who for vote
making purposes have supported
the fair deal—the American people
have travelled along the fair deal
trail to the edge of the precipice-
socialism.
From the edge on which we stand,
we need but another step or slight
push to land us in that socialistic
pit
Certainly, the American peo
ple do not want socialism.
Should they fall into the pit,
they will, when it becomes
sible, vent their wrath on those
responsible for the fatal step,
whether they be the Truman
fair dealers or the rogue Re
publicans.
The old line Jeffersonian Demo
crats of Lincoln Republicans
not been guilty of leading us on
this trail of socialism. If the Jef
fersonian Democrats can recap
ture their party, they can restore
the value of the party as a
institution and prevent
the wrath of the people.
If they do not succeed,
party will pay the price it
following the secession of
southern states before it
regain the American voters I
sufficient numbers to
success in elections.
The old line Jeffersonians
ize that, to be successful,
control party machinery
party program. They mt
the naming of socialistict
dined radicals on party
The fair deal program, pro\
a welfare state, is neither a
fersonian or Lincoln Reput
program.
Possibly secretary of state
Acheson is not the best choice
his job, but mere partisan
nunciation does not com
proof.
If the denun da ti on can be
by facts, give the people the
If not, stop 4he denunciations
are weakening America in
eyes of other nations.
The secretary has made
foolish but not
ments. Exploiting these
is in no way helpful to
lean cause.
BARMIN
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yh?
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f A
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