Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

Below is the OCR text representation for this newspapers page. It is also available as plain text as well as XML.

VIRGIL By Lea Kleit SUNNYSIDE by OarlcS. Haas THE OLD GAFFER By Gay Hunter BOUFOBP By MELLORS 9 MUTT AND JEFF VbOGOT A NEW »»RL? TONIGHT l HELD HER CLOSE IN MV ARMS AND I WHISPERED. - l LOVE VOU- love voo- kOvE VOO“ DOES SHE 1-OVE VOU^ N AW/ SHE TOLD ME SHE DON'T GIVE A HANG ABOUT ME* SHE DON'T? Y VEH. I AND VOU Fl6uRE WAV O iP'WE BOTH > LOVED EACH other- WHILE I WAS MAKING LOVE TO HER. SHE’D PROBABLY BE MAKING LOVE TOME n> ► By Bud FUhcr -AND THEN ONE OF US MIGHT GET sTEALOOS and then THERE'D be . TROUBLE By Arthur Pointer "i'M GOH4G TO GiVE ALVIN ANOTHER CMANCE UML6SS SOMEONE ELSE ASKS ME TO THE DANCE: Dead End ftTHILE THE TRAIN was wait- ing on a side track in Georgia, one of the passengers walked over to a cabin near the track, in front of which sat a cracker dog, howl ing. The passenger asked a native why the dog was howling. “Hookworm,** said the native. “He's lazy.’* “But,” said the stranger, “is bookworm so painful?’* “Nope,” responded the talkative native. “Why, then, should the dog howl?” “Jes* lazy.” “But why does laziness make him howl?” “Wal,” said the Georgian, “thet blame fool dawg is settin* on a sandburr, an’ he’s too tarnation lazy to git off, an* he jes* sets thar an’ howls ’cause it hurts.** THESE CHANGING TIMES Uncle and niece stood watching the young people dance about them. “I’U bet you never saw any danc ing like that back in the ’nineties, eh, uncle?” “Once — but the place was raided!” Twin Souls A girl asked an old bachelor Whether he had been disappointed in love. “No, I never was exactly disap pointed in love,” he replied. “I was more what you might call dis couraged. You see, when I was very young I became very much enamored of a young lady of my acquaintance; I was mortally afraid to tell her of my feeling, but at last I screwed up my courage to the proposing point I said, Tjet’s get married.* “And she said, ’Good Lord! Who’d have us!*“ The Beal Reason v “I was sorry for your wife in church this morning when she had a terrific attack of coughing and every one turned to look at her.” “You needn’t worry about that She was wearing a spring hat” Test of Nerves “Has the depression made a dif ference in the Bad Lands?” “It has mixed up our politics quite considerable,” answered Texas Joe. “The Bad Lands have some bold men. But we can't find anybody with nerve enough to take the job of collector of taxes.** Matter of Direction “Well, Bin,** 7 asked a neighbor, 'T hear the boss has a fever. How's his temperature today?’’ The . hired man scratched his head and decided not to commit himself. “’Taint fer me to say,” he re plied. “The boss died last night.** SQUELCHELEGANT A newly-married couple were en tertaining and .unong the guests was one whose conduct was rather flippant. At supper he held up on his fork a piece of meat which had been served him, and in a vein of intended humor, remarked, “Is this pig?" '*• 1 - “To which end of the fork do you refer?" asked a quiet-looking man sitting at the other end of the table. SORT OF STRAINED Friend—“Why have you the general in such a peculiar pose?” Sculptor—“You see, it was started as an equestrian statue, and then the committee found they couldn't afford the horse.” Practical Prayer A little girl’s brother set a trap to catch birds. The little girl thought it was wrong and cruel. She wept at first, then her mother noticed she became cheerful again, and she was asked the cause. “I prayed for my brother to be a better boy.” “What else?” asked the mother. “I prayed that the trap would not catch any birds.” “What else?'* “Then I went out and kicked the * old tran to oie**s-” SEWING CIRCLE PATTERNS Pretty Date Dress for Juniors rated pattern in slzea 11, 13. 13. 14. 16 and 18. Size 13, 4 yards of 39-inch. Don't miss the Spring and Summer FASHION! It's filled with ne fabrics. pattern printed cents today. . „ | news about styles; special features; free Inside the book. Send 35 SEWING CIRCLE PATTERN DEPT. SM Seath Wells SL. Chleage 3, HL Enclose 35 cents in coins for each pattern desired. Pattern No Sis# Name Address DROPheadcmd ATASAZ CONGESTION L II ^wmnnnnni-. ■■■■■ns 2 drops of Penetro Nose Dffcps In each nostril open up cold- dosged nose fast You breathe easier quickly this 2-drop way. ISIS: KNEIIO NOS DMFS GUARANTEED THIS WEARER SAYSt "I tell everybody about ORA. It*s amazing how quickly stains and dirt come off and how white the teeth be come.” Mrs. A. C. Wheaton, Roch ester, N. Y. NEVER BRUSH FALSE TEETH I ! Brushing can ruin dentures. Use amazing new ORA Penture Cl« Easy, quick. Denture is span clean in 15 minutfes! ORA is teed not to harm dentures, tobacco stains. All druggists. A Product of McKessos A Robbias, Stunning Style J UNIOR frock for special dates —a stunning style with soft draping at the neckline and full skirt. Try a pretty all over flower print, and tie a narrow belt in a pert bow. • e e Pattern No. 3184 is a sew-rite perfo- -J U h i COMfei 10 ' i JU1*I \ Explanation A negro had been trying for a long time to gain membership in a lodge. They found so many reasons for postponing the induc tion ceremonies that he became suspicious. “Ah’m inclined to think,** he said, “dat yo* niggahs doan’ want me in dis heah lodge.’* “Well,” said the chairman, “I’ll tell yo* how it is. Yo* is bald, ain’t yo’?” “Yeah. But what dat got to do wid it?” “An* yo* is black ajn’t yo*?” continued the chairman. “Sho* nuff.” “Well, den, cbnsidah yo’self black bald.” ‘COll DEMONS' GOT YOUR C1ILD ? | Don’t let “Cold Demons”: her chest feel sore, gested—rub on Moat Fast, safe Menthoiai lessen congestion. It soothe inflamed coughing epasi colds, too ... easier. In jars, tubes. - • *; . ' i Wt>&Fr& Hy 1 ■ push a ume-ir wmeis a iorl Fits into measuring cup or small bow!.„ whips even small amounts I you use duly oue hmq! Whips cream...beats eggs...mixes French dressings, gravies, hot cctcoa, milkshakes, fruit {uiceSr mayonnaise, babies' formulas. ■ Nickel-plated steel rod and beaters. Cledns in a rinse. m with the word “Snowdrift*? from strip you unwind wirvi Key SEE ALL THAT SNOWDRIFT DOES FOR YOU. YOU get richer, lighter, maister cakes with new Snowdrift -in just 3 minutes mixing time. New quick- method c^kes can for an emultorized shorten, ing. And Snowdrift is emulsorized. What’s mors fl -Snowdrift mixes quick for tastier biscuits. Snowdrift cuts in quick for flaky pastry. And Snowdrift fries quick for tastier fried foods. I SMOlVPRl PURE VEGETABLE SHORTENING HADE BY THE WESSON OIL SNOWDRIFT, P. O. Rex 267, Now York 46, N. Y. Please send me a Wonder Whipper. I enclose 35# In coin and the word “Snowdrift" clipped from metal tmud unwinds with the key. Name Oflar wcpttM April 30, 1950. Offar UaritaS I* U. *-