The sun. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1937-1972, October 14, 1949, Image 7
THE NEWBERRY SUN, NEWBERRY. S. C,
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*WILL YOU DIVORCE ME?"
“THAKIKS FOR HELPING MY WIFE
OUT WITH HER STUFF/"
MUTT AND JEFF
By Bud Fisher
JITTER
By Arthur Pointer
SUNNYSIDE
by Clark S. Haas
VIRGIL
By Len Kleit
All For Etiquette
The young man called on his besl
girl and spent the evening. When he
arrived there was not a cloud in
the sky, so he carried no umbrella.
At ten o’clock it was raining cats
and dogs and the gutters over
flowed. •
“My, my, my,” said the dear
one, “if you go out in this storm
you will catch your death of cold.”
“I’m afraid I might,” was the
assenting answer.
“Well, I’ll tell you what—stay all
night; you can have Tom’s room,
since he’s at college."
She flew upstairs to see that
Tom’s room was in order. In a lit
tle time she came down to announce
that Tom’s room was in order, but
the young man was not in sight.
In a few minutes he appeared,
dripping wet and out of breath
from running, with a bundle under
his arm.
"Why, Charlie, where have you
been?” she cried.
"Been home after my pajamas,”
was the answer.
CHAIN OF EVENTS
& ■ rui
/ i
“So you are building'a new house,
eh? How are you getting along with
it?” .
"Fine. I’ve got the roof and the
mortgage on it, and I expect to
have the furnace and the sheriff
in before fall."
Even Stephen
The druggist gently hung the
telephone receiver back on its
hook and grinned triumphantly.
"What’s up, boss?” asked his as
sistant, who couldn’t help but see
the look of high glee on the drug
gist’s face.
“Remember the job the plumber
did on our steam pipes when they
froze last winter?” he asked.
“Do I?" shivered the assistant,
“and how.”
"Well,” said the druggist, rub
bing his hands together, “he’s
coming in here to get a prescrip
tion filled for a cold in the throat.”
WHAT NOW?
■ s'
1 '
MM
It was in a hotel dining room. The
guest called out sharply, "Waiter!"
“Yes, sir.”
“What’s this?”
"It’s your soup, sir.”
“Yes, but what kind of soup?”
“It’s bean soup,” said the waiter
with dignity.
“I’m not asking what it’s been;
I’m asking what it is now!”
Etiquette
The old porter looked at the thick
lenses of the student’s spectacles
and announced proudly, “Sonny,
I’m 79 years old and never use
glasses.”
“You should,” the youth ad
vised him. "It is very impolite to
drink out of the bottle.”
FOWL. TIP
Johnny at Poultry Show: “Let’s
stay until they let the animals
out.”
Mother: "They don’t let them
out, Johnny.”
Johnny: “Yes, Mother; last
night Dad told Uncle Bill that
they would wait after the show
and pick up a couple of chick
ens.”
Total Surprise
A tramp had heard that obese
ladies were a soft touch. They
were so good-hearted that they
would give unstintingly and with
out question. When he saw a stout
woman coming along the street he
stepped in front of her and put on
his act.
“Lady,” he entreated, “please
have mercy on me. I’m penniless
and starving. I haven’t eaten for
four days.”
“My word,” she gasped, “1 cer
tainly wish I had your will
power.”
Motive
Her mother usually jumped to
her defense at the slightest pro
vocation hut this time she hesi
tated.
“But, Dora,” she protested,
"how can you say he doesn’t love
you? Why, with my very own eyes
I saw him cry over your hand
when you cut your finger.”
“Certainly,” her daughter ex
plained, “he did that to get salt
into the open wound.”
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Red Letter Day
Origin of the term “red letter
day” may be traced back to the
15th century, when red and purple
colors were used for marking saint
or church festivals on the calen
dar. From this ancient custom
arose the practice of designating
any memorable day as a red let
ter day.
Example
Hubert—“Have a peanut’”
Philbert—“No, thanks. They’re
fattening.”
Hubert—“Don’t be silly. Why
should they be fattening?”
Philbert—“That’s all I’ve ever
seen an elephant eat.”
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