The sun. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1937-1972, August 19, 1949, Image 7
THE NEWBERRY SUN, NEWBERRY. S. C,
:^vu> rjiAL
JOHN JARVIS
* BASEBALL REALLY
ISN'T MIS CUP OF TEA'
JAMES
BLACK
MEAT
MARKET
JOHN JARVIS
ROLAND COE
‘PERHAPS THE BOYS CAN! TELL US '
'I'M NOT SATIS FI EP WITH THAT LETTERING JOB/* WHAT IT 15 WBV£ DISCOVERED HERE.*
JEST
JESTIN'
Where Credit Is Due
A group of men sat fraternizing
In a London "pub.” There were
four and each was of a different na
tionality. There was an American,
a lawyer; a Canadian, who was a
doctor; an Italian, who was a pret
ty good architect, and a Russian,
a staunch member of the Commun.
ist party.
As they argued as to which pro
fession was established first in the
world the lawyer said he thought
that man could not have survived
if he hadn’t a few laws to govern
him.
The doctor disagreed. “Do you
think Cain and Abel could have
been bom if there weren’t a doctor
around?” he asked.
“I don’t think either of you is
correct,” declared the architect.
"Before even Adam and Eve there
had to be an architect around to
bring some order out of the chaos."
The Russian spoke his piece then.
“So,” he said in a tone of absolute
victory, “and who do you think
created the chaos?”
SURPRISE!
The sergeant was eating out one
of the recruits. “You certainly were
celebrating last night,” he snapped.
“Yes, sarge,” the recruit replied
meekly.
“You’ve given the company an
other black mark," the sergeant
continued. “I hear you vfere drunk
and pushing a wheelbarrow down
the company street. Where was I
at the time?” he roared.
“In the wheelbarrow," replied
the recruit.
MUTT AND JEFF
MUTT. IVE ONLY
GOT ONE PIECE
OF PAPER IN
MV HAND
RIGHT ?
P
✓EH/ WHATCHA
GONNA DO ?
A TRICK ?
NO» THERES NO i —
MAGIC TO THIS/ ( r*
WATCH CLOSELY
-—, NOW/
sure! you cut it in
HALF! WHAT'S
SO BRILLIANT
ABOUT THAT?/
NOW ITS
TWO PIECES;
ain't ITP
By Bud Fisher
r CAN
MULTIPLY
BX
DIVISION!
BRIGHT
BOV/
’-AND
| FOUND THAT
OUT ALL BY
MYSELF^/
SUFFICIENT
JITTER
JITTER. IS TRAVELING VV/TH A BASEBALL TEAM
AT'D HAS SNEAKED THE TEAM'S MASCOT OUT
OF THE BAGGAGE CAR BUT IS HAVING
DIFFICULTY FINDING A PLACE TO KEEP W/AA.
By Arthur Pointer
SUNNYSIDE
THE KIDS ALWAYS HATE \
TO SEE ME GET THIS STUFF
IN— THEY ALL GET KINDA
SAD EXPRESSIONS ON
THEIR UTTLE FACES.
by Clark S. Haas
OH M'GOSH/ THEY'VE
CAUGHT ME IN THE
"S pencils,
rl NOTEBOOKS
|§ SULERS, y
1
1
—^—■
^
Spectator—“Have an accident?”
Victim—“No thanks, I just had
one.”
THAT DID IT!
The boss had reached the cli
max of his campaign to keep
the office clean. He spied a
smouldering cigarette butt near
a chair of one of the workers
and demanded if it was his.
“No,” said the worker, “you
may have it.”
GRANDMA
I THERE. THERE
1 YOU’RE ALL RIGHT
NOW '
GOODNESS. GRANDMA. YOU
ALMOST CHOKED " WHAT’S
THE TROUBLE ^ (
V-T.-V*.Vr-
By Charles Kuhn
LAWSV ME ••• I FORGOT.
I an- INHALED on my
pipe —i
Delay In Trade
young boy, jingling two pen-
farmer and pointing to a tomato
hanging lusciously from a vine,
said,
“I’d like to have that tomato.
How much will you charge me for
it?”
“Five cents,” replied the farmer.
"But I have only two cents,” said
the boy hopefully.
“Well, you can have that one
over there.” said the farmer, point
ing to a small, immature specimen.
The boy plunked the two cents in
the farmer’s palm and said, “Okay,
I’ll buy that one and come back in
week for it”.
You Build It
The laundress’s rival tried des
perately to find someone who
could dispute the washwoman’s
assertion that she had blue blood
in her veins.
“Could be,” said one of those
asked, “all the women on her
side of the family have used
washing - blue for eight genera
tions.”
Two very distinguished looking
Southern gentlemen met on the
street one morning after having
attended a party the night before.
The major greeted his ranking
officer with all the respect and
solemnity that the occasion de
manded.
“Colonel," he said, “how do
you feel, suh?"
The colonel’s reply was just a
bit on the brusque side.
“Major,” he declared a little
thickly, “1 feel like hell, suh, as
any Southern gentleman should,
suh, at this hour of the morning."
A social climber, trying to im
press a prominent member of a
club she had just joined, traced
her ancestry all the way back to
Julius Caesar.
The prominent member admit
ted that went back quite a dis
tance but pointed out that the
pedigree of her own family filled
six pages of parchment and in the
middle was a notation, “About
this time the world was created.”
When Your
Back Hurts -
And Your Strength and
Energy Is Below Par
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when the kidneys fail to remove excesa
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blood.
You may suffer nagging backache,
rheumatic pains, headaches, dizziness,
getting up nights, leg pains, swelling.
Sometimes frequent ana scanty urina
tion with smarting and burning is an
other sign that something is wrong with
the kidneys or bladder. 4
There should be no doubt thatfprompt
treatment ia wiser* than neglect. Use
Doan'* PilU. It is better to rely on a
medicine that haa won countrywide ap-
E roval than on something leas favorably
nown. Doan’a have been tried and test
ed many years. Ars at all drug stores.
Get Doan r » today.
Doans Pills
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That Showed ’Em
A baseball team had been stag
gering through a terrific batting
slump. Game after game had been
lost due to that missing punch in
the pinch. The coach called a spe
cial batting practice one morning
and watched with disgust as his
players bounced slow grounders to
the infield and short pop flies, also
to the infield.
Grabbing a bat he charged out
of the dugout and snorted, “Here,
you muggs, I’ll show you what I
want done." He ordered the pitcher
to toss them in as hard as he could
but he had forgotten that he was
out of practice. He did no better
than his men. After about ten futile
swipes at the horsehide he flung
his bat to the ground and shouted,
“See, that’s what you guys have
been doing. Now get up there and
learn to slug the ball.”