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THE NEWBERRY SUN, NEWBERRY. S. C, :^vu> rjiAL JOHN JARVIS * BASEBALL REALLY ISN'T MIS CUP OF TEA' JAMES BLACK MEAT MARKET JOHN JARVIS ROLAND COE ‘PERHAPS THE BOYS CAN! TELL US ' 'I'M NOT SATIS FI EP WITH THAT LETTERING JOB/* WHAT IT 15 WBV£ DISCOVERED HERE.* JEST JESTIN' Where Credit Is Due A group of men sat fraternizing In a London "pub.” There were four and each was of a different na tionality. There was an American, a lawyer; a Canadian, who was a doctor; an Italian, who was a pret ty good architect, and a Russian, a staunch member of the Commun. ist party. As they argued as to which pro fession was established first in the world the lawyer said he thought that man could not have survived if he hadn’t a few laws to govern him. The doctor disagreed. “Do you think Cain and Abel could have been bom if there weren’t a doctor around?” he asked. “I don’t think either of you is correct,” declared the architect. "Before even Adam and Eve there had to be an architect around to bring some order out of the chaos." The Russian spoke his piece then. “So,” he said in a tone of absolute victory, “and who do you think created the chaos?” SURPRISE! The sergeant was eating out one of the recruits. “You certainly were celebrating last night,” he snapped. “Yes, sarge,” the recruit replied meekly. “You’ve given the company an other black mark," the sergeant continued. “I hear you vfere drunk and pushing a wheelbarrow down the company street. Where was I at the time?” he roared. “In the wheelbarrow," replied the recruit. MUTT AND JEFF MUTT. IVE ONLY GOT ONE PIECE OF PAPER IN MV HAND RIGHT ? P ✓EH/ WHATCHA GONNA DO ? A TRICK ? NO» THERES NO i — MAGIC TO THIS/ ( r* WATCH CLOSELY -—, NOW/ sure! you cut it in HALF! WHAT'S SO BRILLIANT ABOUT THAT?/ NOW ITS TWO PIECES; ain't ITP By Bud Fisher r CAN MULTIPLY BX DIVISION! BRIGHT BOV/ ’-AND | FOUND THAT OUT ALL BY MYSELF^/ SUFFICIENT JITTER JITTER. IS TRAVELING VV/TH A BASEBALL TEAM AT'D HAS SNEAKED THE TEAM'S MASCOT OUT OF THE BAGGAGE CAR BUT IS HAVING DIFFICULTY FINDING A PLACE TO KEEP W/AA. By Arthur Pointer SUNNYSIDE THE KIDS ALWAYS HATE \ TO SEE ME GET THIS STUFF IN— THEY ALL GET KINDA SAD EXPRESSIONS ON THEIR UTTLE FACES. by Clark S. Haas OH M'GOSH/ THEY'VE CAUGHT ME IN THE "S pencils, rl NOTEBOOKS |§ SULERS, y 1 1 —^—■ ^ Spectator—“Have an accident?” Victim—“No thanks, I just had one.” THAT DID IT! The boss had reached the cli max of his campaign to keep the office clean. He spied a smouldering cigarette butt near a chair of one of the workers and demanded if it was his. “No,” said the worker, “you may have it.” GRANDMA I THERE. THERE 1 YOU’RE ALL RIGHT NOW ' GOODNESS. GRANDMA. YOU ALMOST CHOKED " WHAT’S THE TROUBLE ^ ( V-T.-V*.Vr- By Charles Kuhn LAWSV ME ••• I FORGOT. I an- INHALED on my pipe —i Delay In Trade young boy, jingling two pen- farmer and pointing to a tomato hanging lusciously from a vine, said, “I’d like to have that tomato. How much will you charge me for it?” “Five cents,” replied the farmer. "But I have only two cents,” said the boy hopefully. “Well, you can have that one over there.” said the farmer, point ing to a small, immature specimen. The boy plunked the two cents in the farmer’s palm and said, “Okay, I’ll buy that one and come back in week for it”. You Build It The laundress’s rival tried des perately to find someone who could dispute the washwoman’s assertion that she had blue blood in her veins. “Could be,” said one of those asked, “all the women on her side of the family have used washing - blue for eight genera tions.” Two very distinguished looking Southern gentlemen met on the street one morning after having attended a party the night before. The major greeted his ranking officer with all the respect and solemnity that the occasion de manded. “Colonel," he said, “how do you feel, suh?" The colonel’s reply was just a bit on the brusque side. “Major,” he declared a little thickly, “1 feel like hell, suh, as any Southern gentleman should, suh, at this hour of the morning." A social climber, trying to im press a prominent member of a club she had just joined, traced her ancestry all the way back to Julius Caesar. The prominent member admit ted that went back quite a dis tance but pointed out that the pedigree of her own family filled six pages of parchment and in the middle was a notation, “About this time the world was created.” When Your Back Hurts - And Your Strength and Energy Is Below Par It may be caused by disorder of kid ney function that permits poisonous waste to accumulate. For truly many people feel tired, weak and miserable when the kidneys fail to remove excesa adds and other waste matter from the blood. 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Rbra-glats mat, for longor battary Ufa. Monay conn batHr battary. Sm your naighborhaod Auto-Ut. Battary DmUt. AUTO-LITI BATTIBY CORPORATION That Showed ’Em A baseball team had been stag gering through a terrific batting slump. Game after game had been lost due to that missing punch in the pinch. The coach called a spe cial batting practice one morning and watched with disgust as his players bounced slow grounders to the infield and short pop flies, also to the infield. Grabbing a bat he charged out of the dugout and snorted, “Here, you muggs, I’ll show you what I want done." He ordered the pitcher to toss them in as hard as he could but he had forgotten that he was out of practice. He did no better than his men. After about ten futile swipes at the horsehide he flung his bat to the ground and shouted, “See, that’s what you guys have been doing. Now get up there and learn to slug the ball.”