The sun. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1937-1972, April 30, 1948, Image 2
THE NEWBERRY SUN. NEWBERRY. S. C.
except by ‘balance of power’; men
are ‘fighting animals’ and so on ad
nauseam—(pardon the Latin but a
Roman senator belonged to one of
my ancestors.) Now I, with my race
memories—can recall more of them
which have worn thin and been dis
carded than your species (which I
doubt will have a very extended
destiny) ever will have.
“Just an example. With little ef
fort, I can recall some of the silly
shibboleths which made trouble for
some of my ancestors. It was back
in the stone age, just about the same
time when we canines decided Man
had reached the point where he was
ready for adoption and training in
civilization.
"At that period in pre-history we
had advanced to the point where we
hunted in packs instead of singly.
Our policy was still kill and let be
Washington Di9GSt
Muff (a Dog) Has Her Ideas
About the Nobility of Man
By BAUKHAGE
News Analyst and Commentator
WASHINGTON—There is nothing particularly strange
about a dog guarding a batch of milk cans like the one in the
accompanying photograph. You wouldn’t be too surprised to be
told that the dog knew who should collect the cans and who
shouldn’t; to hear about other dogs who go to the store with a
shopping list, bring back groceries and even steaks in the basket
they carry; and you know all about the wonderful “Seeing-Eye”
dogs which not only guard their masters from harm, but often
appear to sense danger’s approach.
But the other day I had an experience with a dog which you prob
ably won’t believe.
I was sitting at twilight on my
porch after a long day and a com
forting meal. I was digesting my
! dinner while Muff,
: my wire - haired
fox, was removing
i the last vestiges of
i her share of it
j from her beard.
1 She was lolling in
front of me on the
flat topped porch-
post, her favorite
I resting place. She
I finished her toilet,
| flopped her chin on
! one paw facing me
j and winked—or so
it seemed in the fading light. A
robin was sounding the last sleepy
cadences of his vesper song from
the recesses of an ancient maple.
I looked at Muff. She looked back
and smiled beneath her whiskers—
or so I guessed she might be doing.
“If I had the patience,’’ I said
half-aloud, “I could teach you to
talk.”
“Oh, no you couldn’t!”
I could almost swear Muff had
responded. She certainly had opened
her mouth. I let my imagination
run on. “Oh, yes, I could,” I re
plied, pretending she could under
stand me. "You’ve got the brains.
How do you know that when I take
my briefcase. I’ll be back in the
evening and when I take my suit
case, I won’t be back for several
days? You DO know, because you
show it very plainly: briefcase, a
couple of wags and a woof; suitcase,
body-wiggles, plaintive arts, up-
jumping and hand-licks.”
I went on cataloguing the obvious
indications of Muff’s intelligence,
which far surpasses that of many
loquacious human acquaintances. As
I talked on. Muff rolled over care
fully (there was just room for it
on her perch) and yawned. Not
because she was bored, as I was to
learn later, but because praise of
this type always embarrasses her.
She will wag herself wagless at a
“good dog!” for some stupid, fetch-
and-carry trick that even a Boston
terrier could learn, but when one
praises her intellectual achieve
ments, it always embarrasses her
and she tries to hide it.
“Well,” I insisted, "It’s true you
are intelligent enough to talk.”
Then I was puzzled. Distinctly,
though in a breathy voice which
sounded the way a dog does be
fore he has quite decided to bark,
I heard an answer: “It isn’t that
I am not intelligent enough. And
it isn’t that dogs will never talk,
but I’m afraid I shall never learn.”
I’m dreaming, I said to myself, but
no. There was Muff, there was the
outline of the maple, dim now as
the darkness gathered. There was I.
I shut my eyes. I’ll handle this
rationally, I said. Just let things
happen. I relaxed and was less sur
prised to hear the soft, breathy voice
continue: “It isn’t that there’s any
thing wrong with my speech center
in the third, left convolution of my
cortex—but, I want to repeat, that
dogs never can learn to talk. . . .”
Gently I opened my eyes. Muff
was sitting up now, her head cocked
to one side, her mouth, or at least
her jaw, moving a little, because
even in the crepuscule I could see
her beard wagging gently as she
went on:
“Because, as you may know, we
canines, and I believe this applies
to other animals as well, have far
clearer race-memories than human
beings. You sometimes mistakenly
refer to these memories as intuition.
That is nonsense.
\
“We canines picked man as a
friend and were probably one of
the great factors in his domestica
tion, largely because we found him
more malleable than any of the
other fauna. And I think we have
done a good job. We have not
been harsh masters. We may be
over-sentimental at times, but you
with YOUR maudlin sentiment,
you frequently interpret sound,
practical loyalty, motivated by a
high moral sense, as a slavish
devotion.
“But I’m digressing (the voice
went on)—what I would like to bring
to your attention is this business of
race memories. You men have
some, too, and you have something
else—traditions'. They don’t go back
as far, but they are part and parcel
of the same thing. Only many of
your traditions lead you into trou
ble. In the last few months, while
you thought I was asleep. I’ve heard
you and your high-brow friends use
phrases like, ’always been wars’;
■Mace never has been maintained
“We canines picked man as a
friend and were probably one of
the great factors in his domestica
tion.”
killed although some of us had dis
covered its fallacy. We also had a
long list of so-called hereditary en
emies, and next to the apes, Man
led them all.
“I don’t know how many cen
turies it took to revise that list,
and accept Man as a friend. A
pretty stupid and cruel friend, to
be sure, but one who* could be
trained. There was one saying, I
believe, which was very popular,
but which the more enlightened
canines knew was nothing but an
old females’ tale. It went: ‘Don’t
trust a man any farther than you
can smell him.’ You would realize
the force of that if you knew how
far you used to smell.
“There was another saying: ‘The
only good man is a dead one, and
even then you’d better let the jackals
taste him first.’ I could go on end
lessly. It took an awful lot of work
to explode those myths.. Almost as
long as it did to get some of the
cruelty out of Man. We’ve gone a
long way in that direction, as you
know. In another 10 or 15 centuries
wouldn’t be surprised if we got
you to treat each other as well as
most of you treat us. Your wars!
Ugh! That shouldn’t—and wouldn't
—happen to a dog!”
At this point I sat up. Muff al
ways had been faithful, obedient,
and I thought not only my true
friend, but also my respectful and
humble servant. And this was going
too far! Why this was impertinent.
My own dog, talking like that!
I must have spoken out loud, for I
heard something that sounded like a
laugh.
"Now don’t try to bust your leash,”
heard her remark. “After all, if
you think I’m your dog, okay. Some
how I feel that you’re my man. So
let’s let it go at that and we’ll both
be happy.
"I didn’t mean to ran on like
this and I didn’t mean to get dog
matic. I just wanted to say that
I know my limitations. I can’t
talk. But if it’s in the canine
cards, my descendants will. It
took several thousand years to kill
the race memories which would
have dictated that I take a nip
out of your calf instead of licking
your hand. And, there’s hope for
you, too. Maybe progress is just
around the corner—”
There was a sudden whoosh, a
flash of gray in the night, followed
by a parabola of fur as Muff left
the post in one leap after the neigh
bor’s cat which by now was snick
ering at her from the maple branch.
Muff came back. She gave me a
hang-dog look and remarked through
her whiskers. ’’That is one race-
memory that I can’t eliminate.”
"And by the way,” she added, “Don't
mention this conversation. Nobody
will believe you if you do ”
COLD MR FARES...Max Vogel,
■ New York cab driver, ia dis
tributing to the people who
ride in nia taxi 5,000 al
legiance buttona which read. 'I
pledge allegiance to my flag-*
Fight Communiso.’
UNVEILING OF F.D.R. STATUE IN LONDON...Some of the dia-
tinguiahed gueata stand in front of the 10-foot statue of for
mer President Franklin D. Roosevelt after the unveiling cere
mony in London’s Grosvenor square. British people subscribed
more than $160,000 to honor the wartime President of the United
States. Mrs. Eleanor Roosevelt, Prime Minister Clement Attlee
and King George and the royal family were present for the
occasion.
FAMILY MAN...Primo Camera,
satchel-footed former heavy
weight boxing chanqiion, is en
gulfed by hiq happy family with
whom be was reunited for the
first time in two years when he
flew to the U.S. from Italy.
Da Preem is now a big-time
wrestler.
ij SU1PHUR DUSTING BY AIR...This Bell 47-D utility helicopter
is dusting a citrus grove near Houston, Tex., with sulphur.
Ibtil recently, dusting with sulphur had been considered highly
dangerous. Now, however, aircraft of this model are permitted
to do so, thus paving the way for expansion of helicopter dust
ing to Southaeat states where sulphur is widely used to fight
insects and disease.
REAPPEARANCE...Apparently
conaidered barmlesp by the
Communists, President Eduard
Benes of Czechoa-lovakia was
permitted to make hia first
speech since the Red coup in
that nation.. He presented a
renewed charter to Charles
university at Prague.
EDUCATION...Now that her
leg is in a splint after she
was hit by a truck, nine-month-
old Poochie listens gravely
while little Jnnet Harlow of
Pittsburgh,'Pa., reads a pointed
lesson on first-aid.
THE CITY BEAUTIFUL.. .Philadelphia, Pa.,, instituted a clean
up, paint-up, fix-up campaign come spring this year, and the
first thing anybody knew there were crowds of people outside
scrubbing the streets and sidewalks. Fired by the vision of a
clean and shining city (maybe in anticipation of the forth
coming Republican and Democratic national conventions there)
Quaker City residents shouldered brooms and buckets and went
to work on the Philadelphia beauty treatment.
BAMBINO...Outfitted with a
rambling nose a la Babe Ruth
and a New York Yankees uniform, '
William Bendix is ready to por
tray the Sultan of Swat in the
forthcoming oration piettre, ‘The
Babe Ruth Story.*
WHATEVER HAPPENED TO OiOP SUEY?...Introduced at Lake Suc
cess, N.Y., to the traditional American dish of bread soaked to
the saturation point in meat gravy, Florence Wu registers com
plete and wide-open approval, while Charles and Roger Langston,
British twins, look with acme suspicion upon her ladylike use
of • fork. The children’s parents are United Nations personnel.
The Good Samaritan
A CRIPPLED BEGGAR was push-
** ing his wheel chair along a rainy
Washington street. Thd* pavement
was wet. Crossing the street, the
rubber tires ot the wheel chair slip
ped, finally stalled at the curb. The
chair wouldn’t budge.
A stranger, hurrying through the
drizzle, stepped over to the wheel
chair and gave it a push.
The cripple wiped his face with
a soiled service cap and thanked the
stranger, who asked where he was
going.
“To Union station,” was the reply
“to get out of the rain.”
The well-dressed stranger offered
to push the wheel chair to the sta
tion.
“We’ll go there together,” said the
stranger, pushing the wheel chair
ahead of him.
“Work for the government?” asked
the cripple as they proceeded.
“Yes.”
"Veterans administration?”
“No.”
“Where do you work?” persisted
the wheel-chair passenger.
“Over in the court.”
“Which court?”
“The supreme court.”
The beggar twisted his head
around for a good look at the man
who was pushing him through the
rain.
“Which one are you?” he asked,
realizing at last that his escort was
bne of the nine most potent judges
in the land.
The man who had rescued him was
Justice Harold Burton.
Probably no one would have heard
about this incident, had not the crip
ple, privately skeptical, turned up
next day at the supreme court and
demanded to see Justice Burton.
After a long session with the mar
shal, the man in the wheel chair Was
ushered into Burton’s chambers and
visited once more with the judge.
* * •
Memo To Senator Taft:
WHILE YOU AND I are in fre
quent disagreement, I have consider
able admiration for your courage
and tenacity. May I therefore pre
sent for your consideration a prob
lem of vital importance to all of us.
As you know, the administration
now is planning to embark on a gi
gantic arms program, including
thousands of jet planes, new rocket
launching guns, submarines that can
carry rockets close to enemy shores,
new airplane carriers which can
launch bombers, fast merchant ships
powerful enough to outrun subma
rines and thousands of steel-consum
ing guided missiles.
While this program may not all
be adopted, yet if only half of it—
including the aviation program
which you yourself favor—is adopt
ed, it will result in the greatest
inflation this nation ever has seen.
Already we face a steel shortage.
Already bur railroads are hard up for
freight cars. Automobiles are still
short in supply. The manpower
shortage still handicaps many in
dustries. Electric power is so low
in the West that California is on day
light saving.
In other words, with the nation’s
economy already running at top
speed, the army and navy have ask
ed for 14 billion and are reported
ready to ask for 10 or 11 billion
more.
I for one suggest that, as a start
toward mapping out a sound domes
tic economy, we call in Bernard Ba
ruch, Donald Nelson, Leon Hender
son and the others who kept prices
down and allocated war materials,
and ask them to chart a new course
to head off the oncoming hurricane
of inflation.
• • •
Cargo Planes and War
WHILE THE PENTAGON BOYS
emphasize importance of the draft,
the national defense research and
development board has written a con
fidential report urging the need of
an armada of cargo planes. In this
age of blitz warfare, supply lines
must be swift and fle::ible, which
means America must build up a vast
merchant marine of the air.
The report emphasizes the grow
ing threat of Russian submarines
which could make sitting ducks of
our ocean transports. Russia's un
derwater navy already is five times
larger than the German U-boat fleet
at its peak, the report states. What’s
more, Russia possesses the deadly
German XXI which is “60 times
more difficult to locate and kill” than
standard World War II subs.
The present strategy of digging in
and stockpiling material at forward
bases also is rejected by the re
search board.
“Targets should determine the
location of bases, not vice versa,”
the board argues. “The need for
maintaining the base should cease
when the target is destroyed. Ad*
vance bases should become as ex
pendable as shell cartridges.”
This means construction and sup
ply should be cut to a minimum, and
air transport must become the back
bone of supply.
“Although World War II strategy
was determined largely by the avail
ability of shipping, in tne next war
the availability of air lift will be
the controlling factor,” the report
declares.
n
J&i
UPhillipr
THE GARBLE SISTERS
“Isn’t it awful about discoverihg
them Russian submarines loading up
with war supplies at American
ports?”
“Yeah. Imagine four of ’em tak
ing surplus coal from us right at a
time when John L. Lewis is parti
tioning the mines. Why doesn’t the
U.N. do something about that man?”
“It called him to Lake Success
but he refused to go until he got
good and ready. All U.N. can do
about Lewis anyhow, is to name an
other commission to observe him
and see if he violates the Potsdam-
Taft law.”
“Then what can they do if he
does?” «
“They have to fight him with guid
ed missiles.”
•
“What do you think about univer
sal service?”
“I never ate at that hotel, but the
service in all them places can be
pretty bad these days.”
“I mean the plan to draft boys for
the army and navy again.”
“That's all election talk.”
“I can’t sleep nights worrying over
another world war. Are you
scared?”
“Not so long as America has the
atom bomb, Ted Williams, Eisen
hower and Johnny Mize, television,
Baruch and ERP.”
“Erp who?”
“I forget his last name.”
*
“Did you read where the Roose
velt boys came out for Eisenhower
for president with Halsey for vice-
president and Tony McAuliffe for
secretary of state on a Nuts-to-you-
ticket?;’
“Anybody can win this year ex
cept General MacWallace or that fel
low Austin Warren.”
“Either way it comes out meat and
eggs will go higher, I guess.”
“Yeah. There’s no stopping the
inflation shortage especially if we
lose them western orbits and China,
too.”
• * •
“Wanted: Stenographer, thor
oughly experienced; must have
size 4B foot. 345 Hudson”—N. Y.
Times.
They’re making those type
writers more complicated every
day.
Vanishing Americanisms
“Anybody can afford an auto these
days.”
*
“Let’s give Junior a nickel, he’ll
be tickled silly.” ,
*
“It’s my turn to set ’em up.”
* * *
Speaking of that supreme court
decision that a law on the books
since 1884 to protect kids against
crime magazines is unconstitutional,
we know a youngster who silenced
the old man pretty promptly. “How
can you and I be sure what’s bad
for me, popper?” he demanded. “It
took the court 64 years to find out.”
* * •
The finest movie performance of
the year, or any other within ye ed's
recollection, and one that seems
sure to get the next Oscar is that of
a nine-year-old Czechoslovakian boy,
Ivan Jandl, in a new movie written
around the tragedy of children
among the displaced persons of the
world. The kid never appeared on a
stage or in pictures before. He was
discovered singing with a group of
children in Prague. Most child actors
are a strain on the nerves, but here,
at last, is a kid who seems not to
be acting at all, and in whose tragic
eyes and restrained actions there is
seen one of the most tragic situa
tions of modem times.
• * * •
Surplus Property Racketeers
Behold the heel
Who for quick “mon”
Will deal in dearth
For someone’s son!
He cares not where
A bomber’s sold
As long as it
Will bring him gold.
* • •
“Is there any evidence that Russia
has aggressive designs against our
country, or that our national securi
ty is threatened from any source?”
—Henry Wallace.
*
Aw, you just wanna drag us,
into one of those quiz programs,
Hank!
* • •
A British auto now is offered on
the American market for $21,250.
As soon as the British think the au
tomobile has passed the experiment
al stage they may reduce pr.ces a
bit.
• • •
Mai Braverman thinks that what
Mr. Truman needs more than a
good running mate is a good run
ning start.
• • *
A New York advertising firm gave
up a tobacco account worth 15 mil
lion dollars a year. Mere cigarette
money!
• • •
Two Roosevelt boys have come out
for drafting Eisenhower and there
are people who insist this definitely
kills his chances.
UOL
Min
OUSEHOLD
IS!
It’* almost gardening time. TVs
keep your fingernails clean while
working in the soil scratch them
over a cake of soap so that the soap
will get under your nails. This wlH
keep the soil out and the soap dha
be easily washed out.
—•—
For the child who is ill. Tie a
small cord to each bed post and
fasten clothes-pins to the line. Get
well cards, dolls etc., may be hung
on the line for the amusement of
the young patient.
—•—
Make sure your husband knows
about this before you try it. A
shaving brush is just about the
handiest thing there is for dusting
a pleated lamp shade.
—•—
If you need sour cream, and
haven’t got it, you can make a good
imitation by beating a teaspoonful
of vinegar with a cup of evaporated
milk.
—•—
Do not pour cold water into hot
metal pans. The sudden change of^
temperature may warp the metaL
Grandma
SPEARIN'...
CHARACTER is like the foun
dation ot a house — it’s below
the surface.
$5 paid Mr*. G«orge Page, WajcroM. G*.*
Jkc*
LILLIE MAE says to me:
“Grandma how kin I be sure of
gettin’ a top quality margar
ine?” And I answers her in jes
two words, "Table-Grade.” Yep.
Nu-Maid Table-Grade Margarine
is fine as can be. Made 'specially
fer the table.
I whei
MR. JONES SAYS when he goes
to summer resorts fer a change
and a rest, the bellboys git the
change and the resort gits the
rest.
S6 psld Becky Robert*, Panama City, Ha*
Jko
THE MARIN’S of’sweet, fresh
vegetables is the seasonin’ you
put into ’em. If you use Nu-Maid
ye’re sure to have a good tastin’
dish, ’cuz Nu-Maid tastes good
to start with.
* f s
_ will be paid upon publica
tion to the first contributor of
each accepted saying or idea for
“Grandma Speakin’.” Address
Nu-Maid Margarine, Cincinnati
2, Ohio.
Table-Grade
MARGARINE
JoP
to CONS-t\*£ ^
ITS ASPIRIN AT ITS BEST
St.Joseph aspirin
WORLD'S LARGEST SELLER AT I0<
STOP UGHTNINE DAMME SSSS,
“National Quality” Systems Prevent Lightning
Stroke from Occurring. Write for FREE Booklet
“U Lightning Protection Worth Providing!”
RATAL LIGHTNING PROTECTION CO.?^*’
'VS^cBurns
SCALDS CHAFING
Quickly apply soothing and i
forting GRAY’S OINTMENT
com-
with
its wholesome antiseptics and na
ture aiding medication. Nothing else
like It—nothing so comforting—or
pleasant for externally caused skin
troubles. 35c. Get a package today.
Pullorum clean N. H. Red,
Barred Cross and Sex-Link
Cockerels $6.00 per 100.
Pullets $15.00 per 100.
Straight run $10.00 per 100.
ED’S CHICKS
Manchester, N. H.
ICIiS
RHEUMATISM
NEURITIS-LUMBAGO
MCNEILS
MAGIC
REMEDY
BRINGS BLESSED RELIEF
Urge Bettleli smae Size <
* UlfMl: III nil H intern «
• ILL till lilt Jlltu m II UK u ttctm alg
[■«itiL mi n. in. Kiinmui i, mi