The sun. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1937-1972, April 16, 1948, Image 2
THE NEWBERRY SUN. NEWBERRY. S. C
But to return to the diflerences
between cows on the one hand* and
men and women on the other—(and
I think no one will contradict me
when I say there ARE differences):
One thing a cow cannot do that a
man can, is blow its own horn. And
as we know from listening to the
soap operas, it is easier to make a
woman slip than to make a cowslip.
Now what has a cow got that
you and I haven’t? Answer: Cat
tle are closely related to the buf
falo, the bison and the yak. I defy
any genealogist to produce a bison,
a buffalo and a yak in one human
family tree. On the other hand,
in the branches of a cow’s family
tree, there are no monkeys.
In some ways the cow has superior
abilities. For instance, I have seen
a cow roll over without spilling a
drop of milk, which is more than
any man, carrying a similar amount
of lacteal fluid, could do.
— Philologically, the cow seems to
have somewhat of an edge on man,
at least for those who believe in the
capitalistic system. The Latin word
for cattle (as of course you know
If you Just looked it up as I did) is
“pecus.” And the word pecuniary
is derived from that, and the words
cattle, chattel and capital are to
each other what cow itself is to buf
falo, bison and yak.
All present-day breeds of cattle, 1
am authoritatively informed, are
descended from the two types, large
and small, known in prehistoric
times in Europe. However, in re
cent times (and now we are getting
down to what started me ruminat
ing), something new has been ad
ded. We now have developed what
might be laughingly called “hot
cows” and "cold cows.”
The “hot” are the Brahmas which
have been insinuated into our own
American strains to inure them to
our southern latitudes and for other
purposes. As you know, Brahma
cattle are known by their humps. A
braw Brahma has a large hump just
abaft the shoulders, a: d the others
of lesser rank have smaller humps
getting down to something not much
larger than a fever blister.
The “cold” cow is quite a differ
ent thing. As might be expected, it
comes from Russia where they in
vented the cold war, the cold shoul
der and the common or Siberian
cold, which is used to correct false
ideologies, longevity and monopolis
tic capitalism.
When applied to cows instead of
capitalists, the cold has the oppo
site effect on longevity. Accord
ing to a recent article in Food In
dustries, a McGraw-Hill publica
tion, the Russians aave produced,
by means of a chilling process ap
plied from early calf-hood, cows
which live with a high output to
15 years, yield up to 100,000 liters
of milk and give birth to 15 calves.
The process is simple. One se
lects a calf from selected parents.
It is put in an unheated barn where
the temperature is kept at five de
grees fahrenheit. The bams, I take
it, are much like the ordinary Soviet
citizen’s dwelling except that there
is plenty of bedding and the calves
Washington Di9esu
Ruminating on Ruminants,
Or Cogitating About Cows
* By BAUKHAGE
ISetcs Analyst and Commentator
WASHINGTON,—The subject of cows recently has been
called to my attention.
In the early pre-crossword days, a cow was supposed to be an animal
of the bovine species. Now it is just a three-letter word meaning rumi
nant. There is another three-letter word which also sometimes means »
ruminant of which I will speak later.
Before I knew that a cow was
Cither a member of the bovine spe
cies or a ruminant, I thought it was
t something fearful
which was eu-
i phe m istically ad-
? dressed as “Bos-
! sie,” and which (I
was told) would
not hurt me. I
took the former
statement as cor
rect, but had grave
doubts about the
latter. Later I was
taught that c-o-w
spelled, not bossie,
| but cow, and still
later I was chased by one. This
caused additional doubt concerning
free information furnished by one s
elders.
Then came the crossword puzzles.
I saw that “three, horizontal” was a
three-letter word meaning ruminant.
Having heard of the word “rumi
nate” by that time, and thinking
that, thinking or, if you will, rumi
nating, was a fairly common prac
tice among the genus homo, I wrote
down “man.” Later when I met a
number of congressmen I was con-
vinced of my error.
Now I know that neither defini
tion is entirely wrong. A cow ru
minates when it chews its cud
(having chewed it before), and a
man ruminates when he chews an
idea upon which he has chewed
before.
In some ways however, cows and
men differ. In fact, cows even differ
In some respects from women, al
though all three creatures—man,
woman and cow—are mammals, the
highest form of vertebrate, those
which (the authorities inform me)
nurse their young with milk. Just
how man gets into this category is
a little beyond me, but that is what
the scientist says, and I am willing
to strain my credulity a little. After
all, I suppose that my father, who
paid for the milk which I drank
when I got so I could take it out of
a glass, nourished me in a manner
of speaking. We will let it go at
that, although it seems to me that a
man assumes a little of what might
be criticized as the gland manner
of speaking when he tries to get
more than a grade B rating as a
mammal.
This is Pat Walker of Woodland,
Calif., queen of the Poly Royal
celebration at California State
Polytechnic college. With her, to
do a spot of ruminating, is one
of the college’s better beef sires,
Domino Prince 63rd. His mother
was one of the aristocratic rumi
nants who even now chews her
cud in pride over the elegance of
her son.
are provided with earmuffs. A citi
zen of the U.S.S.R. doesn’t need the
earmuffs because he is only al
lowed to listen to what the govern
ment thinks is good for him, and
if his ears freeze it’s all right with
the censor.
The results of the chilling process
on calves appear remarkable, but
not for a moment would I doubt the
veracity of the writer—despite my
early experience with erroneous in
formation concerning cows.
The other type of ruminant upon
which these ruminations are based
is illustrated in these columns.
• • *
The Old Order
Hotv It Passeth
After the grey winter days New
Hampshire avenue almost sparkles
these spring mornings.
The elm buds are spreading and
the shadows of trunk and limb make
sharp patterns on the wide expanse
of the huge Belmont house. This
house now is occupied by the East
ern Star—no family ever could have
done more than rattle about in that
palatial mansion. I suppose there
will be few such palaces built in
Washington any more—one after an
other, they are being tom down.
The Leiter house on Dupont Circle
is gone and a family hotel is rising
in its place. Many other mansions,
too big for embassies even, served
as boarding houses for war workers
and now they are empty and for
sale.
One huge house which I pass oc
casionally is opened when the third
generation, which still retains some
of the original fortune, comes to
Washington for a wedding or a
party. After that the house is sealed
up again, the burglar alarms are
attached and the old residence goes
back to dreaming of the past.
A part of this section of Wash
ington—Dupont Circle — is being
sealed off for a year while the
roadbuilders burrow under the
grassy park (o make an underpass
for trolley cars and automobiles.
This will be the final blow of dis
figuration to Connecticut avenue,
which has yielded gradually over
the years since I first knew it, to
the vnlgarian invasion.
A block below Dupont Circle that
once was gay with the chatter of
nursemaids and children of the
foreign diplomats stood the British
embassy. On the site today is a
filling station.
• • •
Americans have eaten bananas
since the 19th century but still many
misconceptions concerning them ex
ist, says Middle America Informa
tion. Not, we hope, that they should
be kept in the refrigerator.
• * •
Two-thirds of all divorces are
granted to women. Is that because
of male chivalry—or the lack of it)
SUB ROSA...Secretary of the
Navy John L. Sullivan informed
congress that submarines 'not
belonging to any nation west
of the iron curtain have been
sighted off our shores.’ He said
that Russia has five times as
many subs as Germany had at be
ginning of World War U..
BLOOD MONEY...‘He handed me this
quarter and drove away,’ seven-
year-old Teddy Martin of Dayton,
Ohio, told his mother when an
unidentified motorist struck and
killed his dog, ‘Jigs’
ENTHUSIASTIC...Retired Gen.
Jonathan M. Wainwright added
his iota of support to the Mac-t
Arthur-for-president drive.
Speaking glowingly of his former
army superior, Wainwright said,
'Gen. Douglas MacArthur i» the
foremost candidate for President
of the United States.’
DOGGED BIRD...Rusty, a Seattle,
Wash., cocker spaniel, leads a
dog’s life with Kilroy the
pigeon around. The bird likes
to perch and walk on the dog[ s
back and flap his wing's in
Rusty’s face, keeping him awake
when he’d rather be asleep.
BUSY.. .Here, .at agonizingly long
last, is a one-armed paper
hanger. He is Clifford Roddy of
New Florence, Pa., who lost left
arm in an auto accident. Natu
rally, he’s as busy as a...
SHIPBOARD WATCH IN EGYPT. ..As a welcome relief from pictures
of profound significance, this is just a photograph of an
Egyptian camel drivel standing on top of his camel in front
of one of the pyramids of Giza and looking for whatever camel
drivers look lor in Egypt. Probably more camels.
BIG SHOT COMBINATION...Number one father-and-son combination
rifle team in the U-.S. in 1948 were Harry J. Grimesey (left)
and son Robert, 17, of Janesville, Wis. Grimesey, senior, a
supervisor in the Parker Pen company plant in Janesville, re
cently set a national record of 199 for the prone and kneel
positions. Bob is an Eagle scout as well as a champion marks
man.
JUSTE. A COUPLE OF ELEPHANTS... This is the season of the year
when circus press agents start vying with politicians to see
which can maxe more noise and get more space in the newspa
pers for their assorted exhibits and freaks. Here, for in
stance, are two elephants of the Dailey Brothers circus
which wintered in Gonzales, Tex., and is ready for a tour of
the country this sunaer.
CChPULSORY TRAINING IN CHINA...Stricken with continuous war
for a decade, China has turned to compulsory military train
ing^ to provide manpower. Hebe, at a ceremony held in the
auditorium of the Shanghai city council, Shanghai's first lot
drawing for military service was held. There were 211 num
bered bamboo platea in the jar.
HOME SWEET HOME
The trend in house building is
decidedly toward the one-story demi-
tasse, close coupled economy-sized
home. At first regarded as a make
shift offspring of depressions and
wars, the half-pint dwelling has
gone too far for that now. It seems
here to stay.
•
Home development sites all over
the land are dotted with homes
shucked of old-time standard fea
tures such as an upstairs room, an
attic, a cupola or a flight of stairs.
The upper floor strikes some ob
servers as much a thing of yester
day as the nickel glass of beer, the
five-cent stogie and a straight an
swer to a congressional committee.
•
Generally speaking the home of
1948 is something mom and pop
would have thought inadequate for
the pigeons. They would have re
quired more room for a couple of
laying hens. It is a garage with
living rooms to match. Every
thing is close to the ground, in
cluding, the roof.
•
The automobile, radio, movies and
road maps and electric equipment
are responsible for the Tom Thumb
domicile. For they have created a
new design for living. The era
when people stayed home much has
gone. The age of gentle living, fire
side concentration, dinner parties
and family gatherings is fading out.
*
Mother’s place is in the home—
when the car is laid up\
*
Mom and pop used to have to
stay home most of the time. They
got the same kick out of the long
trip from the back kitchen to the
garret that their sons and daugh
ters get from a dash to Canada.
*
Mother held a roomy pantry
dearer to her heart than Joe's
Frankfurter Grille.
*
(Still there is no denying the
fact she aged rapidly and wore
out earlier doing: all the necessary
housework and just sitting around
in her spare time listening to the
old man pick at the banjo. Maybe
it’s all for the best.)
» » »
THE LEADERS AND TRDMAN
“It is reported that leading powers
in the Democratic party, convinced
that Mr. Truman cannot be re
elected, will try to get him to with
draw.”—News Item.
•
FIRST LEADER—The question
before us is how to get Harry to
retire. With Wallace splitting the
party, we have to have a glamour
boy.
SECOND LEADER—I tell ya,
Harry will never take a powder.
FIRST LEADER—Why not? 1
think he really hates the job.
*
FIRST LEADER—We have to
convince him. Maybe we can get
the doctors to say his health re
quires that he give it up.
SECOND LEADER—Could we
get the wife to work on him? I
hear she doesn’t like the White
House.
FIRST LEADER—That was be
fore she got that new kitchen.
*
SECOND LEADER—Could we
feed him up on a lot of stuff about
the beauties of Missouri and make
him homesick? Make him yearn
for the old haberdashery days.
FOURTH LEADER—How about
getting some bigtime gents’ fur
nishing house to offer him a part
nership?
*
THIRD LEADER—We could
raise money and buy him the
Metropolitan Opera house.
SECOND LEADER—What for?
THIRD LEADER—For Marga
ret.
*
FIRST LEADER—Naw. We got
ta sit down with him and tell him
candidly that while he is a swell
fellow, as loyal as they come and
all that, things have shaped up so
he owes it to the party to make
way for somebody with more zip-
peroo.
*
FIRST LEADER—Did you ever
see a Missouri man real mad?
THIRD LEADER—No.
FIRST LEADER—You will!
* * *
Herman Hickman, new coach of
the Yale football squads, weighs
300 pounds and is the most rotund
figure in football. There is going
to be a strong temptation to sing
the Eli grid song, “Roil, Roll On
Down the Field.”
• • •
“Three more men were added to
the Shore Branch quartette last
night.”—Asbury Park Press.
*
That's gradually completing the
project, say we.
* * *
Buddy Lester says that Gover
nor Folsom’s stand on American
womanhood embraces everything.
* * *
There are times when we think
any candidate can win this autumn
if he isn’t shown SMILING.
• • •
Low Alcohol Reserves
W HILE THE BRASS HATS de
mand the drafting of men for
the army, they continue to let the
big distillers pour out more and
more whiskey, despite the fact that
the nation’s industrial alcohol re
serve remains dangerously low.
Industrial alcohol was one of the
most strategic materials, of the late
war, being used in producing syn
thetic rubber, chemicals, insecti
cides, TNT and munitioiis. In fact,
industrial alcohol was considered so
essential that more than 200 mUlion
gallons were stockpiled in the year
1943 alone.
Today, however, only about 21
million gallons of industrial alcohol
are stockpiled—enough to last 10
short days if war should break.
While the big distillers are ig
noring Mr. Truman’s plea for vol
untary rationing by adding to the
already groaning supplies of whis
key in warehouses, the army and
navy munitions board is doing
absolutely nothing about stockpil
ing industrial alcohol for defense.
Real fact is that we face a worse
industrial alcohol shortage, in event
of an emergency, than before the
war—because at that time we had
a big grain surplus. Now we have
virtually no grain surplus, with for
eign aid taking about all we can
spare.
Meanwhile, the brass hat-con
trolled munitions board hasn’t even
bothered to put industrial alcohol on
its list of “strategic and critical
materials."
* * •
U. S. Won’t Drop A-Bomb
WITH THE WAR SCARE such as
it is, one all-important, obvious ques
tion is whether the United States
should get the draw on Russia and
drop the A-bomb first. This ques
tion has been discussed at Key West
and at other military conferences,
but the decision seems to have been
no.
In fact, at Key West, Admiral
Leahy, the President’s chief of staff,
even made a passionate plea that
the atomic bomb not be used in
such a way as to harm innocent
women and children in enemy terri
tory.
However, it was decided that the
United States will lean over back
ward to make sure no war initia
tive, no overt act, no premature
dropping of the A-bomb takes place.
At present, the United States has
a more than ample supply of A-
bombs, plus the capacity to make
more at assembly-line speed. Fur
thermore, the new A-bomb is about
1,000 times more powerful than the
bomb dropped on Hiroshima.
But they will not be used against
any enemy in any surprise move.
To do so would be against the
Christian concepts of humanity,
also against the century-and-a-
half tradition of the United States
that we never have attacked an
other nation.
Furthermore, for the United
States to get the jump on the enemy
by dropping the A-bomb would mean
such revulsion of world feeling that
wp would lose our present moral
position in Europe.
The history of every war is that
when people consider themselves
wronged, they bide their time and
build up their resources until they
can come back at their conqueror.
Another important point considered
by U. S. defense chiefs is the fact
that the Russians now have ob
tained all the secrets of German
submarines and undoubtedly will
use them to release rockets at ma
jor U. S. cities.
As a result, Russian subs today
could come close to American
cities with V-2 rockets aboard, to
be launched against U. S. cities
from submarine decks.
These gruesome prospects are
some of the things U. S. strategists
necessarily must consider. They
feel there is no use shutting our
eyes to them, in fact, that if we
prepare to meet them, the prospects
of war with Russia will be lessened.
* • *
Need Key Materials
PRESIDENT TRUMAN HAS RE
CEIVED a blunt warning from Wil
liam M. Allen, president of Boeing
Aircraft company, that the govern
ment must reinstitute allocations of
key materials, such as aluminum, if
the U. S. is to build airplanes for
future emergencies.
Allen, who was accompanied to
the White House by Sen. Warren
Magnuson of Washington, told Mr.
Truman that his company now is
producing a super successor to the
B-29, known as the B-50, at the rate
of seven planes a month. The new
planes can outstrip both the 3,200-
mile range of the B-29 and its 350-
mile-an-hour speed. Boeing also is
testing a new jet bomber of revolu
tionary speed and range.
But, Allen told the president:
“We can’t begin turning out
these new planes in any quantity
unless there are allocations of the
materials needed to produce them,
so we can plan our production
schedules at least six months
ahead. We can gear up our pro
duction of B-50’s right now to 40 a
month, ^but not without material
allocations.”
common Sunfish ^
The common sunfish, or pumpkin* t
teed, seldom reaches a size exceed*
tag six to eight inches. However, ita *
general popularity with people of
■11 ages more than makes up fot-
any deficiency in size. It has beei*
termed the “small boy’s fish” but ift
angled for by adults as well. Th«>
common sunfish is a compact littl*t
fish and beautifully colored. Thert
Is perhaps n6 other species of fresh*
water fish that presents more vari*
ety of colors and markings than do
the sunfishes, so much so that a
general description is practically
impossible.
STOP UGHTNING DAMAGE
“National Quality” Systems Prerent Lightning
Stroke from Occurring. Writs for FREE BooklH
“la Lightning Protection Worth Provldtaffl”
NAT AL LIGHTNING PROTECTION C0.T
Pullorum clean N. H. Red,
Barred Cross and Sex-Link
Cockerels $6.00 per 100.
Pullets $15.00 per 100.
Straight run $10.00 per 100.
ED’S CHICKS
Manchester, N. H.
GENUINE FORD
REBUILT
EXCHANGE MOTORS
85-90 HP-V8 *103.00
*5-100 HP-V8 $110.00
and your old motor.
(Oil Pump and heads $5.00 extra)
See your Ford Dealer or
WRITE—WIRE—PHONE
RANDALL A BLAKELY INC.
Ford Engine Rebullders.
Griffin. Ga. - - Phone **«
ry.OW sk!
TAKE IAXATIVES ?
Try T///s /nsfeoc/
LEMON IN WATER
I 5 G O O DC F ORYOL)
Try it 10 days- Sunkist
dhuf and. diald ynuA.
1A. $. SavinqA. (BondA.
Gramma
SPEARIN'...
CHEER UP! Fer even the birds
have bills and they’re still sing-
in’.
*5 paid John Bnnneliter, No Hares, Ma*
Jbr*
PERSNICKETY? Why shore I
am. 'Specially when it comes to
margarine. I always want top
quality. That’s why I always pick
the package that says ‘Table-
Grade.” Nu-Mald Table-Grade
Margarine’s made ’specially fer
the table! And that’s fer met
Jbo
SOME FOLKS figure a budget
is nothin’ but a way of worryin’
before spendin’, as well as after
wards.*
IT BEATS ME how people ’spect
their vegetables to turn out tasty
if they pay no mind to the sea
sonin’ they use. I’m mighty care
ful to use Nu-Maid ’cuz it tastes
good by itself.
**5
will be paid upon publica
tion to the first contributor of
each accepted saying or idea for
“Grandma Speakin’.’’ Address
Nu-Maid Margarine, Cincinnati
2, Ohio.
NdD-MAD®
Table-Grade
MARGARINE