Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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THE NEWBERRY SUN, NEWBERRY, S. C “Mom said I should tell you about the trouble I got into today—but you know how I exaggerate everything.’’ 1 BOBBY SOX Marty Links “Kenny and Bruce were going to match to see whicl one leaves—but neither of ’em have a coin!” LITTLE REGGIE By Margarita MUTT AND JEFF By Bud Fisher JITTER < TAKE THAT NOTE TO MR.) cleaver at the butcher. * SHOPAND BRING BACK WHAT a- HE GIVES VOU.y—a*? A II!mr i pi! umM IRiplP” s|§ C * By Arthur Pointer REG’LAR FELLERS By Gene Byme» WELL. —ITiS TOO LATE TO RENEGE NOW. BOTCHA GOT •SYMPATHY' VIRGIL By Len Kleis Expensive Remedy A YOUNG woman who {eared she •l* was losing her husband’s affec tion consulted a fortune teller. After going through her usual mumbo jumbo, the seer advised: “Get a raw piece of beef, cut flat, about an inch thick. Slice an onion in two, and rub the meat on both sides with it. Put on pepper and salt, and roast it on each side over a red coal fire. Drop on it three tumps of butter and two sprigs of parsley, and get him to eat it.” The young wife did as she was told, and the little trick seemed to exert such an admirable effect upon her husband that she decided to re peat the practice at regular inter- cals. And the man loved her ever after. HIGH RESISTANCE Bawl’ll 'ho\ho!) ' ► WHAT A \ SENSATION: J The criminal was an old “toughy.” The law had shot him numerous times without serious injury. He’d been captured, had escaped, and been recaptured. Finally, with ob vious bravado, he walked to the electric chair. He didn’t flinch, but after he’d been strapped into the chair by a bunch of huskies, he seemed to sag and grow a little pale. Suddenly he barked, “Well, turn on the juice.” “Turn on the juice?” the electri cian blurted. "Why, it’s been on for Sve minutes.” Censorship A veterinary was surprised to have a customer ask him to cut off the tail of his full-grown dog, and asked the reason. “Never mind that,” replied the iog owner, “just cut his tail off, all af it.” “But,” remonstrated the vet, “That is a bit unusual. We crop puppies’ tails, but it would be cruel to cut this dog’s tail, he’s too old. We just don’t do things like that unless you have sufficient cause.” “And do I have cause!” ex- aitedly shouted the customer, “My mother-in-law is coming to visit us aext week and I don’t want any thing around the house to indicate a welcome!” Easy to Fool Wolf—Do you know the differ ence between taxis and trolleys? , Bait—No. Wolf—Good, then we’ll take a 1 trolley. No Taxes Either No one in the courtroom seemed to know just what the case was about. The lawyers themselves were mixed up. Then an important wit ness was presently asked to tell the court the total of his gross income. He refused; the counsel appealed to the judge. “You must answer the question,” said the judge sternly. The witness fidgeted about, and then burst out: “But . . . but, your honor, I have no gross income! I’m a fisherman, and it’s all net!” EARLY START I know a fellow who’s an artist, and he’s always drawing and paint ing pictures of people with no clothes on. One day I asked him: “Why do you always paint and draw people in the nude?" “Oh,” he said, “I suppose it’s be cause I was bom that way.” Better Than Silence The deep south stock company was giving its utmost in the presen tation of “Hamlet." There was no spontaneous outburst of apprecia tion from the townfoik who packed the tent, but there was a great deal of handclapping. The show’s proprietor was elated. Expanding his chest, he said to the villager who had been hired to raise and lower the curtain, “This town appreciates a cultured production; listen to that applause!” “Mister,” the villager drawled, "they’re not applaudin’—they're kil lin’ mosquitoes.” Placing the Blame For years, old Josh had been mak ing a living of sorts with his moon- shining. But now, at the late-sum- mer revival, he announced to the preacher that he was through with it “That's wonderful news. Josh,” the preacher said. "Come on up and tell one and all what the Lord’s done for you.” The old man rose from the bench. “Well, folks," he said, “it do look like the Lord’s mint me.” Practical Potkolders in Jiffy C rocket Pattern No. 7486 # PAID you ever see such gay <>ot- ^ holders? They’re practical, too. Good and thick, and sturdy. Made of rug cotton or candlewick. * * * Make these pretty flower potholders. Protective as well as gay! Pattern 7466 has directions for both. Beware Coughs from common colds That Hang On Creomulsion relieves promptly be cause it goes right to the seat of the trouble to help loosen and expel germ laden phlegm, and aid nature to soothe and heal raw, tender, in flamed bronchial mucous mem branes. Tell your druggist to sell you s bottle of Creomulsion with the un derstanding you must like the way it quickly allays the cough or you are to have your money back. CREOMULSION for Coughs, Chest Colds, Bronchitis Our improved pattern — visual with easy-to-see charts and photos, and com plete directions—makes needlework easy. Price 20 cents. Send your order to: Sewing Circle Needlecraft Dept. 564 W. Randolph St. Chicago 80, 111. Enclose 20 cents for pattern. No Name- Address. FASTER - SMOOTHER/ k 5 IWWmMND BLADES IStNQII OR goum IPCCI 10* Planning for the Future? Buy U. S. Savings Bonds! C'HAMPION Plowmen know that the performance of their tractor tires can “make” or “break” them in a plowing match. They must have tires that take hold and pull — on soft ground — on hard ground — on sod — on stubble. They must have tires that take a full, clean bite, a center bite — tires that plow right through under all conditions. That’s why winners in the three big national matches this fall (Big Rock, Wheat- land, Illinois and Webster City, Iowa), p’owed on Firestone Tires. They, like most other contestants in these big events, could not afford to gamble with a “broken center” tire that might let them down by clogging up with trash, slipping and spinning. Firestone Champion Ground Grips will perform for you on every job just like they perform for champion plowmen. They will always take you through. And they will take you through faster, without slipping. That means time and money saved. Specify Firestone Champions when you order a new tractor or when you buy replace ments for your present tractor. See your nearest Firestone Dealer or Store today. Listen to tht Voice of Fireilthe overy Monday evening over NBC Cop Tight. 1948. The Firestone Tire 4t Rubber Co- FIRESTONE CHAMPION GROUND GRIPS TAKE a "CENTER BITE"