Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

Below is the OCR text representation for this newspapers page. It is also available as plain text as well as XML.

\ THE NEWBERRY SUN. NEWBERRY. S. C. I MUTT AND JEFF By Bud Fisher REG’LAR FELLERS By Gene Byrnes HE WAS PREFERRED W HEN a certain southern cloth ing manufacturer tailed, he called his creditors together and in duced them to accept notes for 10 per cent of their claims, payable in four months. The manufacturer’s own brother, who happened to be numbered among the creditors, de murred, whereupon the bankrupt called him aside and said, “Now, brother, don’t complain and I'll make you a preferred creditor.’* The brother piped down. But a few days later he returned and said, “I need my money. Can’t you pay me now?” "No, I’m broke,’’ came the calm rejoinder, “and furthermore, I'm going to tell you something: I’m never going to be able to pay any of those notes.” "Not even mine?” the brother in quired. “No, not even yours,” was the plain reply. “But,” insisted the other, “I thought I was a preferred creditor.” "Oh, you are, you are,” his broth er assured him. “You know now you’re not going to get your money, but all those other fellows won’t know for four months!” ANOTHER RECRUIT Visitor—Well, and what are you going to be when you grow up, little boy? Little boy—Well, after I’ve been President for a while to please mother, and a lawyer a while to please dad, I’m going to be the best pilot the army ever had. Should Have Told Him An expert had condescended to teach a new member to play golf. Pointing to the flag on the green, he explained: “You must drive the ball as near to that flag as you can.” The novice drove and the ball stopped within a foot of the hole. The expert was amazed, but the other merely inquired: "What do I do next?” "You knock it into the hole,” re plied the expert. "Into the hole!” exclaimed the novice. “Why didn’t you tell me that in the first place?” At Least L«rge John—I’ve been around. I’ve got a large acquaintance in this town. Hank—I saw you with her last night. Happy Days! “I declare,” complained old man Higgins, “how I miss the glorious days of the silent motion pictures.” “What was so good about them?” demanded Mrs. Higgins. Mr. H. crept close to the door, and reached for his hat. On the threshold he turned and slyly ob served, “I can still remember how wonderful it was to watch a wom an’s mouth going for two hours and not hear a single word.” Thoughtful Child Little Leroy was not behaving so well and had about exhausted his mother’s patience. “Leroy,” she said, “if you don’t behave I will spank you right here on the street.” The little fellow looked up. “But mother,” he said, “where would you sit?" ONE DOWN, TWO TO GO Sucker — Are you Madam La- Lama,, the fortune teller? Crystal gazer—I am. I answer^ three questions for five dollars. Sucker — Okay—but isn’t that rather expensive? Crystal gazer—Yes, it is. You now have two questions left. NEEDLECRAFT PATTERNS Trio of P/ay Pa/s for Little Child '"PHE best playmates a little -*■ child could have—a happy ele phant, a proud bunny and a sur prised pup—all cuddly, soft and safe for baby. Helicopter Pilot No successful automatic pilot has yet been developed for the heli copter and, therefore, the human pilot of this type of aircraft, unlike the airplane flier, has to retain complete manual control of his jnachine every minute it is in the air. Use scraps, (two for each toy) ears separate. Pattern 925 has transfer of three toys; directions. New, improved pattern makes needle work so simple with its charts, photos, concise directions. Due to an unusually large demand and current conditions, slightly more time is required in filling orders for a few of the most popular patterns. Send your order to: Sewing Circle Needlecraft Dept. 564 W. Randolph St. Chicago 80, m. Enclose 20 cents for pattern. No Name Address Steel in Jap Swords The quality of some Japanese swords is illustrated by an inci dent that occurred dinring the fight ing in Shanghai in 1932. Armed with a particularly fine specimen, an incensed Jap officer slashed off the barrel and water jacket of a Chinese machine gun with a single stroke. * IMcUy Distress af ' Snea&Shrity HeadCoMs A few drops of Vicks Va-tro-nol in each nostril work fast to r,lw», head cold dis tress. make breath ing easier. And if used at first sniffle or sneeze, Va-tro-nol lielps to prmnt many colds developing! Try it. Follow directions in the package. VICKS VA-TRO-MOL * :'{ OVffi 2.000,0001/SffiS MAKE SPAKE TIME PROFITS * Ihit BIGGER PROFIT First time offered for direct | sales, patented, widely used household necessity. Every housewife a prospect... should buy on sight. Lifetime,op-; I portunity, full or part time, for serious,industrious men ana women. Write today. A post card will brine big money-malting offer by retnrn mail. THE SHELDON CO. ££££?£: * - i Add fresh horsepower to your old engine! New Sealed Power Piston Rings often in crease the horsepower of a worn engine by 20% to 25%. At the same time they save gas, save oil, lengthen engine life. There’s a Sealed Power Ring Set specifi cally engineered for your car, truck, or tractor engine, whatever the make, model or cylinder wear condition. See your Sealed Power Franchise Dealer for the best in service and parts Send piMtal for illustrat ed, informative new booklet on 7 ways to save oil. It’s free and may save you lots of money. Sealed Power Corp., Dept. W102, Muskegon, Michigan. The Advertisements Mean a Saving to You ON Champion Farmer McKINLEY Uses Tire$tone * r* CHAMPION GROUND GRIPS . . AND HE GETS UP TO 100% MORE EFFECTIVE CLEANING 62% MORE DRAWBAR PULL * 91% LONGER WEAR ; -'Igf E CONOMY-MINDED farmers like Cham pion Farmer H. L. McKinley find costs go down when they use Firestone Champion Ground Grips. Tests show that Firestone Champion Ground Grips clean up to 100% more effectively, pull up to 62% more, last up to 91% longer, and roll smoother over highways. The reasons are simple. The curved bars cut deeply, into the soil. Mud falls easily and cleanly from the tapered openings between the bars. Because the traction bars are connected, they’re stronger, they have more tread rubber to push into the ground and pull. This extra tread rubber also lengthens tire life ... makes tires roll smoother. Although judged best by leading farmers everywhere, Firestone Champion Ground Grips cost no more than ordinary tractor tires. Specify the “Champion” when you order your new tractor, or when you buy replacements for your tires. See your nearest Firestone Dealer or Store today. 1 Listen to the Voice of Firestone every Monday evening over NBC « Copyright, 1947, The Firestone Tire & Bobber Otk Mora than Sown Million I of Producol That is the production record Champion Farmer H. L. McKinley (on tractor), and sons Don, Phil, Hal and Keith (not shown) made last year on 1100 acres of rich farmland near St. Ansgar, Iowa. Their record include* 2% million pounds oipotatoes from 135 acres, and a nearly equal pound age of choice cabbage from 10O> acres. The McKinleys keep their soil highly fertile by a five-year rotation and the application of 170 tons of fertilizer annually. An extensive steer and hog feeding program turns com and roughages into cash, and builds additional fer tility in the soil. The farm Is highly mechanized. All eight tractors roll on Firestone Tires. 0*^ FIRESTONE CHAMPION Ground Grips take a “CENTER BITE’’