Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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£ THE NEWBERRY SUN, NEWBERRY, S. C. NANCY By Ernie Buthmiller LITTLE REGGIE By Margarita MUTT AND JEFF By Arthur Pointer SILENT SAM By Jeff Hayes /■ His Interest A man dashed into the police sta tion at midnight. “My wife,” he gasped. “I want to Bnd my wife! Been missing since eight this morning. Oh find her for me!” "Particulars?” asked the ser geant. “Height?" “I—I don’t know.” "Do you know how she was dressed?” "No, but she took the dog with her.” "What kind of dog?" “Brindle bull terrier, weight 53 pounds, four dark blotches on his ody, shading from gray to white, hree white legs and-right front leg trindled all but the toes, a small lick in his left ear." "All right” yelled the sergeant. ■We’!! find the dog!” OBVIOUS NUT Patient — Why stick me in the ward with that crazy guy? Doctor — Hospital’s crowded—is he troublesome? Patient—He’s nuts! Keeps looking around, saying, ’No lions, no tigers, no elephants’ — when all the time the room is full of them. Short Cut The professor of mathematics and tils fiancee were out roaming In the fields when she plucked a daisy and looking roguishly at him began to pull off the petals, saying: “He loves me, he loves me not—” "You are giving yourself a lot of unnecessary trouble," said the pro fessor. “You should count up the petals, and if the total is an even number the answer will be in the negative; if an uneven number, in the affirmative.” In a Bad Spot Parson Brown had concluded his sermon and was making the an nouncements for next week. “And now, bred’ren,” he said, “next Sun day I will speak to you upon the condition of the church and my topic will be ‘The Status Quo.’ ” 1 “Pardon me, Parson,” interrupt ed Deacon Jones, “but what do dat Status Quo mean?” "Well, Deacon,” rejoined the Par son, “dat’s Latin for we’s in a hell of a fix.” No Competition The stage celebrity had spent an enjoyable and profitable summer playing leading roles at the various summer theaters. In most of the theaters, students of the stage, sparked more with enthusiasm than talent, supported the star. The actor, being asked how he liked the experience in relation to a Broad way production, answered: “At a summer theater I never have to worry about somebody stealing a scene from me.” STUMBLEBUMS "What did you think of the big fight last night?” “Fight? Say if me and the missus put on a show like that, the kids would have booed us.” Seize the Chance! The barmaid was a flirt and when the corporal went out to buy a paper she pursed her lips invitingly and leaned over the bar toward the shy young private. Putting her face against his, she whispered: "Now's your chance, darling.” The private looked around the empty room. “So it is,” he re marked, and promptly drank the corporal’s beer. Distant Danger An Indiana boy told his teacher that his sister had the measles. The teacher became somewhat excited. “You go home, Johnny,” she said, “and don’t come back until your sister is well." Johnny left in a hurry. After he had gone another boy held up his hand and said, “Teacher, Johnny Dolan's sister what has the measles is in Boston.” Real Ability Two small boys were discussing the capabilities of their mothers, both active club members. “My mother can talk on just about any subject,” the first lad declared proudly. "Phooey!" retorted the other. “My mother can talk without any subject at all.” Crocheted Chair Set. Makes a Lovely Gift npINY pansies of shaded laven- -*■ der and purple add a dainty finish to this handsome chair set. The “buds’,’ in the center are also worked in the shaded thread. A wonderful, sure - to - be - treasured gift suggestion for the coming holidays. • * • To obtain Pattern No. 5568, containing stitch illustrations and complete accurate easy - to - follow crocheting instructions, send 20 cents in coin, your name, address and pattern number. Due to an unusually large demand and current conditions, slightly more time is required in filling orders for a few of the most popular patterns. SEWING CIRCLE NEEDLEWORK 530 South Wells St. Chicago 7, IU. Enclose 20 cents for Pattern. No Name Address- Are You Planning a New Home? Then Get This New BOOK of SMALL HOMES PLANS! It’s a big, full-color, 16-page book full of new home ideas. Twelve small homes designed by a nationally-known architect. Shows floor plans and elevations. A regular 60c Book for only 26c. Send a quarter now for your copy! ■«r "x t 1M *,r r witiis; With Railt-In Auto matic Draft Regulator. 100-lb. Coal Cap. .and Enjoy Modern, Low-Cost HE A T with a Ulfutm momiinG COAL HEATER NAME RKd. IN U.«. AND CAN. PAT. OFF. . It’s the only heater of its kind in the world... with amaz ing, patented inner construction! That’s the secret of abun dant, clean, healthful heat at remarkably low cost. Bums any kind of coal, coke or briquets. Heats all day and night without refueling... holds fire several days on closed draft. Requires less attention than most furnaces. See the WARM MORNING at your dealer’s... and send 26c for SMALL HOMES PLAN BOOK. LOCKE STOVE COMPANY Dept. 50 114 W. 11th St. Kansas City 5, Mo. (WN-3) Let the Ads Guide You When Shopping T O GET extra pulling power... longer tire life ... and smoother riding, Champion Farmer John J. Gannon and his father specified Firestone Champion Ground Grips for their new tractor. Tests show that Firestone Champion Ground Grips clean up to 100% more effectively, pull up to 62% more, last up to 91% longer, and roll smoother over highways than any other tractor tires .J. • important facts to cost-conscious farmers. Only Firestone Champion Ground Grips are made with connected curved traction bars. These bars clean with a plowlike action . . . giving the Champions more pulling power. Extra tread rubber in the bar connections gives them a “Center Bite” in the heart of the traction zone. This, too, means more pulling power. The extra rubber in the con nected tread increases tire strength ... lengthens tire life . . . money-saving points you can’t overlook when you buy new tractor tires. So when you buy . . . buy the best . . . buy Firestone Champion Ground Grips. Listen to the Voice of Firestone every Monday evening over NBC Copyright, 1947. The Firestone Tire A Rubber Co. FIRESTONE CHAMPION Ground -> • *, **• • . Grips take a “CENTER BITE’’ SIVINTEEN THOUSAND DOLLARS from 50 acres of single cross hybrid seed com! That was one of the accomplish ments last year of Champion Farmer John J. Gannon and his father, William P. Gannon, on their 785-acre farm near Valeria, Iowa. Hog sales totalled over 400 head. In a recent month, 16 pure bred Guernsey cows, three of them dry, returned $504.78 over feed costs. Seventy head of purebred Aberdeen- Angus cows, and their calves, provide a profitable outlet for roughage. So does a Hock of sheep. The Gannons bale 7000 bales of hay annually. Careful pasture management, manure and commercial fertilizers, and a soil conservation pro gram keep the farm highly productive. For economy and efficiency in operat ing their farm equipment. Champion Farmer Gannon has found it pays to depend on Firestone tires. When he and his father buy new tractors, they specify Firestone Champion Ground Grips. In the photograph, Shelia Ann Gannon with her grandfather, William P. Gannon, and her father, Champion Farmer John J. Gannon. For more information about Champion Farmer John J. Gannon, write to..Thp Firestone Tiro & Rubber Co., Akron, O.