The sun. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1937-1972, September 19, 1947, Image 3
THE NEWBERRY SUN. NEWBERRY. S. C.
“I’m not accusing anybody. I just said a piggy bank
isn’t safe around here without a burglar alarm on it!”
I —i — ' - ■■■ ■ ■ ■■■ ■■■ —-
“But, Mom, how can I share my room with cousin Ruth
during her visit—you KNOW how untidy she is!”
NANCY
By Ernie Bushmiller
REG’LAR FELLERS
By Gene Byrne*
/ look what
HAPPENED WHEN
PINHEAD SAVE
VITAMIN PILLS
JX' TH SOLE FlSH^
VIRGIL
By Len Kleis
SILENT SAM
By Jeff Hayes
One Last Meanness
Old Angus MacNab had been a
hard, cruel man, and among his rel
atives the news of his suicide had
been received with more rejoicing
than sorrow. But his son, Sandy, in
whose home the old man had met
his quietus, persisted in moping
over the affair.
“Sandy," admonished a brutally
frank acquaintance, "why do you
carry on so? The old man was a
regular torment to everybody, and
you know, down deep in your heart,
you’re glad he’s gone.”
“That I am,” admitted Sandy.
“It’s cruel to admit it, but it's
true.”
"You’re not thinking he suffered,
when he took off, are you? He Just
turned on the gas and went to sleep.
So what’s eating on you?”
"Mon, oh, mon,” groaned Sandy,
“just look at this terrible gas bill
the old coot left me!”
HORSE PLAY
m
Critic—The picture of the horse
is good, but where is the wagon?
Artist — Oh, the horse will draw
that
Befuddled
A college professor, well known
for his 'absent-mindedness, was gaz
ing reflectively at the passing land
scape when the train conductor
stopped for his ticket. The professor
searched himself frantically, but to
no avail.
“That’s all right, professor," the
conductor said. “I know you, and
I’m sure you have your ticket.
When you find it, just mail it to the
company.”
“It isn’t that,” the professor said
earnestly. “What I want to know is,
where in the world am J going?"
Evidence
A man, evidently drunk, sagged
down in the seat in the lobby beside
a clergyman. "Fine (hie) day,” he
began.
“Yes, it is,” from the clergyman.
"Thish’s fine hotel.”
"Yes, I find it very comfortaMe."
“Wontcha have a drink?" the
man asked, encouraged by the
courteous replies of bis chance ac
quaintance.
The pastor’s face set severely.
"No thank you,” he said, "I never
indulge.”
“Shay, whatcha giving me? You
gotcha collar on backwards now."
Nothing to Lose
One night recently the quiet air
of the Birmingham Police Depart
ment whs disturbed by the voice of
a darky calling over the telephone:
“Help! Police! I’se been robbed!"
“You’ve been robbed?” confinrted
the voice of the call officer.
"We-ell—half-robbed,” cried the
darky.
"Half-robbed?” demanded the po
lice. “What do you mean—half-
robbed?”
“I didn’t have no money,” the
darky replied.
THAT EXPLAINS IT
Diner — Waitress, the service is
teri'fble. You gave that man at the
next table a steak twice as large as
mine. Where’s the manager?
Waitress—That man is the man
ager.
High Finance
After vainly trying to collect $40
due him from one of his customers,
the colored man consulted his law
yer.
"What reason," his lawyer asked,
“does he give for not paying this
money?”
"Boss,” said the colored gentle
man anxiously, "he’s gimme a
mighty good reason, sah.”
“Well, what is it?"
"He done say. Boss, dat he’s been
owin’ me dat money so long dat de
interest has et it all up.”
Passing the Back
The young lady eyed her escort
with extreme disapproval "That’s
the fourth time you’ve gore back
for more ice cream and cake, Al
bert,” she said acidly. "Doesn’t it
embarrass you at all?”
“Why should it?” the hungry fel
low shrugged. "I keep telling them
I’m getting it for you.”
An Also Ran
The dear old lady, wandering
about hazily at the wedding recep
tion, came upon a young man in
fautless dress.
"Oh,” she chirped, “dear me,
you’re the bridegroom of course?”
“No," he answered sweetly, “1
was eliminated in the quarter
finals.”
Sewing circle paherns
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8204
34-48
Tailored Two-Piecer
A SOFTLY tailored two piece
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with narrow ruffling and a neat
belt, has short or three-quarter
sleeves. The gored skirt is smooth
and easily made. Wear it every
where with pride.
* • •
Pattern No. 8204 comes in sizes 34, 36,
38, 40, 42. 44, 46 and 48. Size 36, short
sleeves, 4 , / 4 yards of 39-inch.
Send today for your copy of the Fall
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Smart Shirtwaister
'T'HE best loved frock in every
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...
Pattern No. 1630 ,is for sizes 14, 16, 18,
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Enclose 25 cents in coins for each
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Pattern No Size
Name ,
Address—
(V. cv.<v. (V. C*- O- <*• O- C** O- O- O- < v » O- <*. o-. <*. fv. <v. (v. o~ C- <v. <v. <v. fv. (v. O-
- ?
ASK ME 7
ANOTHER: information on various subjects ?
(t. (t. <fc. (V. (V. <v. <v. (v. <v. (w (t. (W (t. o* (*• O* O-(t. O* O* CW
A quiz with answers offering ?
The Questions
1. Do sharks have to turn over
to bite?
2. Is white a color?
3. How much blood is there in
the human body?
4. Who was the first president
of Texas after its declaration of in
dependence?
5. What city in the U. S. is one
mile above sea level?
6. The Boston Tea Party took
place in what year?
7. In what battle were Amer
ican .troops ordered to withhold
their fire till they could see the
whites of their opponents’ eyes?
8. A parcel post package is lim
ited in weight to how many
pounds?
9. The first telephone operators
were boys and instead of saying
“hello,” said what?
10. Is there a minimum limit to
the weight a horse is made to
carry in a horse race?
The Answers
1. No, a shark can bite any side
up. *
2. Yes, it is a combination of
all of the colors of the spectrum.
Black is th^ absence of color.
3. From one to one and a half
gallons, the quantity varying with
the size of the individual.
4. Sam Houston.
5. Denver, Colo.
6. In 1773 (December 16).
7. The Battle of Bunker Hill.
8. Seventy pounds.
9. “Ahoy, ahoy.” ,
10. Yes. The rules of racing in
most states specify that no less
than 84 pounds shall be carried in
the handicaps.
Fielding Record
Buddy Kerr, shortstop of the
New York Giants, holds the rec
ord for fielding in professional
baseball. Between July 26, 1946,
and May 25, 1947, he played in
68 games and fielded 384 ball*
without an error.
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iKonnaiuLT engineereb