The sun. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1937-1972, June 20, 1947, Image 7
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THE NEWBERRY SUN. NEWBERRY, S. C.
CROSS
TOWN
Sv
Roland Coe
“Up till now my luck’s been good. You’re the first,
so far, t’ bother me by askin’ about it!’’
“I know he got her on the rebound—but from what
boy-friend?”
NANCY
HAW HAW—WHERE
DIP YA GET D'
SILLY BOW TIE?
By Ernie Biuhmiller
JITTER
By Arthur Pointer
Out of the Question!
A young man watched an older
fellow who was filled with liquor
stagger out of a tavern to his car.
When he reached the car he dug in
his pocket and after much effort
pulled out his car keys. For about
five minutes he tried unsuccessfully
to unlock the car door. The young
man than walked over to where the
drunk was, still without any luck
trying to find the keyhole, and asked
if he could be of any help. “Can
you unlock the door for me?” asked
the drunk. The young fellow than
took the keys and opened the door.
The drunk half falling crawled
into the car and started the motor.
"Why, you’re not going to drive
that car, are you?” asked the young
fellow.
“Of course, son,” replied the
drunk. “Can’t you see that I’m in
no condition to walk?”
A LIMIT THERE
Poet—This is an unfair world.
Friend—How so?
Poet—A banker can write a bad
poem, and people think nothing of
it. But just let a poet try writing a
bad check!
Lapping It Up
A Scotchman entered a doctor’s
office the moment it was opened
one morning. When asked what was
troubling him, he stuck out his
tongue. It was matted with small
splinters of wood. "What hap
pened?” asked the medico.
"Last night, I had an accident.”
“What kind of an accident did you
have? The rest of your body doesn’t
seem to be touched.”
"Man,” moaned the patient, "I
spilled a glass of whiskey on the
floor!’
DUferent Attitude
Dobbins was discussing his rela
tives with a new acquaintance.
“Now you take my wife,” he re
marked, “she has a twin sister so
much like her you’d never be able
to tell them apart.”
"I suppose though,” rejoined the
other, “that it is easy for you.”
Dobbins sighed.
"Well, yes,” he grudgingly ad
mitted, "but it wouldn’t be if my
wife showed the same respect for
me that her sister does.”
Mule Doctor
A member of the Missouri state
legislature was being needled con
stantly by a colleague. The member
waited with great patience for the
day that he could strike back. The
colleague arose one day from the
floor and addressed the legislator.
“Sir,” he said, “the news has just
come to me that you are a veteri
narian. Is that true?”
“Yes,” drawled the legislator,
“Are you ill?”
Cause of War
When the teacher inquired of her
class the cause of the Revolution
ary war, little Jimmie volunteered:
“It had something to do with auto
mobiles.”
"Oh, no, Jimmie!” protested the
astonished instructor. “That was in
the days long before the automo
bile.”
“Well,” rejoined Jimmie, “they
said it was on account of unjust
taxis.”
CAMOUFLAGE
this
will
Lady driver—Can you fix
rear fender so my husband
never know I dented it?
Mechanic—No, but I can fix it so
you can ask him in a few days how
he dented it.
Preferred Position
He (at the movies)—Can you see
all right?
She—Yes.
He—Is there a draft on you?
She—No.
He—Is your seat comfortable?
She—Yes. I
He—Change places with me, will
you?
NEEDLEWORK PAHERNS
Gay Fruit Cross Stitch. Designs
Ruffled Doily for Summer Work
r
Pattern No. 5486
r)NE of the handsomest sets of
summer tea towels you’ll see.
The big four or five inch fruits are
done in the popular “gingham”
cross stitch effect. The designs
can also be used on place mats,
breakfast cloths and outdoor din
ing luncheon cloths.
• • •
To obtain 7 transfers, color chart for
working Gingham Fruit Designs. (Pat
tern No. 5486). Send 20 cents in coin,
your name, address and pattern number.
Pick-up Crochet
'T'HIS dainty little ruffled doily
is ideal for summer “pick-up”
work. It measures 12 inches across
—one 400-yard ball of crochet cot
ton makes this treasure-piece.
To obtain complete crocheting direc
tions for the Starched Ruffled Doily
(Pattern No. 5478) send 20 cents in coin,
your name, address and pattern number.
Pattern No. 5478
Due to an unusually large demand and
current conditions, slightly more time is
required in filling orders for a few of the
most popular patterns.
SEWING CIRCLE NEEDLEWORK
530 South Wells St. Chicago 7. 111.
Enclose 20 cents for Pattern.
No
Name_
Address-
KooljM
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