The sun. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1937-1972, April 25, 1947, Image 7
THE NEWBERRY SUN. NEWBERRY, S. C.
NANCY
MAIL -
By Ernie Bushmiller
MUTT AND JEFF
REG’LAR FELLERS
' WOULD \
YOU LIKE AN V- <
ICE-CREAM CONE, ) WH'I',
ZOOLIE? /PIN HEAP,
THERE'S,
AN ICE-CREAM
STORE,
_ PINHEAD.' y
NOT.
ZOOLIE
By Gene Byrnes
VIRGIL
' SOLID GOLD- } / ^
IT USED TO l J&EE-)
BELONG TO WA IT'S ^
GRAND FATHER J ( BEAUTIFUL
SILENT SAM
By Jeff Hayes
Five-Day Vacation
Pat, an argumentative Irishman,
was fired from his railroad shop job
and to- avoid discussion, the fore
man gave him his discharge in a
letter.
The next day Pat was missing,
but five days later he was back to
work. When the boss came through
and saw him at work he tapped Pat
on the shoulder.' “Didn’t you get my
letter?” he asked.
“Yes, sir, I did,” said Pat.
"Well, didn’t you read it?” asked
the boss.
"I sure did that,” answered Pat,
“inside and out. On the inside ye
said I was fired, and on the outside
said 'Return to A.B.C. R. R. Shops
in five days.’ Boss, I’ve had a heck
of a time doin’ nothing for five
days.”
TWIN WANTED
A little man came into the office
of a psychiatrist.
"Come in,” boomed the doctor.
“What seems to be the trouble?
"I was wondering,” the little man
offered timidly, “if you couldn’t
split my personality for me.”
The doctor looked puzzled. “Split
your personality? Why goodness
me, my man, why would you want
that done?
Tears tumbled down the little
man’s face. “Oh, doctor,” he
wailed, “I’m so lonesome!”
Such Humiliation!
Professor Wright, who was a
stickler on correct English and
proper spelling, was sitting in his
living room, reading quietly. Sud
denly the door burst open and his
excited -wife rushed in flourishing a
piece of paper. She handed the
paper to the professor, who opened
it and read:
“I am running away from home
and I am taking the money you hid
in the dresser drawer and have
gone to the south maybe to Mexiko
Your son.”
"Oh the shame of it!” shrieked
the professor. "To think that a son
of mine could be guilty of using
such horrible grammar. He eveu
misspelled Mexico.”
Early Game
A shop foreman found certain off-
duty chores accumulating' till his
daylight afterwork hours were not
enough to complete them. So he
posted a bulletin one morning ask
ing his employes to start work at
six o’clock for a few days, to ac
commodate him.
"You play ball with me and I’ll
play ball with you,” he added.
One of the sleepy-eyed workmen
read the sign, pondered a minute,
then wrote below.
“O.K., I guess. But six a.m. is no
time to play ball.”
The Whistle Blows
Endeavoring to rest after an ex
ceeding hard day, poor father was
being bedeviled by an endless
stream of unanswerable questions
from little Willie.
“What do you do down at the
office?” the youngster finally asked.
"Nothing!” shouted father.
It looked like the kid had been put
off for a while, but not for long. For
after a thoughtful pause, Willie in
quired, "Pop, how do you know
when you’re through?”
NO FEED PROBLEM
The farmer, just back from the
county fair witlf a new horse, dis
covered that the animal refused to
eat or drink.
“Well,” he said hopefully, “looks
like I got a real bargain, if he’s a
good worker.”
Maybe He Had!
A Birmingham insurance agent,
while paying a claim to a woman
recently covering the death of her
husband, sought to persuade the
fair beneficiary to take out a policy
on her own life.
"I believe I will," the woman
agreed, after a moment’s reflection.
“My husband had such good luck.”
NEEDLEWORK PATTERNS
Kitchen Towels With Cute 'Rabbits
Gay Rabbits for Towels
amusing quilt squares for a child’s
bedspread.
• * •
To obtain transfer designs for seven
“Peter Rabbit" figures (Pattern No. 5102)
color chart for embroidering, amounts of
flosses specified, send 20 cents in coin,
your name, address and pattern number.
Due to an unusually large demand and
current conditions, slightly more time
is required in filling orders for a few of the
most popular patterns.
Send your order to:
SEWING CIRCLE NEEDLEWORK
530 South Wells St. Chicago 7. III.
Enclose 20 cents for Pattern.
No
Nam<>
Address I
fcnafuL! fcnafuL!
When Jack London was report
ing the Russo-Jap war from Korea,
an official called and said the peo
ple of the town wanted to see him.
A platform was built and London
rehearsed a speech. When he as
cended the platform before a huge
crowd, the official asked him to re
move his false teeth. London
shruggingly obliged, whereupon
the audience broke out in cheers.
There was no speech. London kept
taking out and putting in his bridge
to the applause of the multitude!
WHY BE A SLAVE TO
HARSH LAXATIVES?
Healthful Fresh Fruit Drink
Has Restored Millions to
Normal Regularity!
Here’s a way to overcome constipa
tion without harsh laxatives. Drink
juice of 1 Sunkist Lemon in a glass
of water first thing on arising.
Most people find this all they need
-stimulates normal bowel action day
after day!
Lemon and water it good for you.
Lemons are among the richest sources
of vitamin C, which combats fatigue,
helps resist colds and infections. They
supply valuable amounts of vitamins
Bi and P. They pep up appetite. They
alkaliniu, aid digestion. Lemon and
water has a fresh tang too-clears the
mouth, wakes you up, starts you going.
Try this grand wake-up drink 10
mornings. See if it doesn’t help you!
Use California Sunkist Lemons.
LOOSE PiliTES?
To bold your loo»e upper, and low
er, comfortably Meure all day—and
..err dav. try dentlst’a amazing dla.
A S CUTE as a button are these
gay Peter Rabbit figures to
liven a set of kitchen towels.
Stitches are simple and can be
quickly embroidered in bright col
ors. If you like, they’!! make
Metal Value of Coins
The face value of U. S. coins to
day is from three to eight times as
much as the cost of their bullion.
Only $1.20 worth of metal is re
quired for minting $10 in pennies,
$2.37 for $50 in nickels, $33.86 for
$100 in dimes, $84.63 for $250 in
quarters and $169.28 for $500 in half
dollars.
BiGE KBISPIES
P.S
Be sure you get America’s favorite rice cereal,
* the one and only Kellogg'* Rice Kris pies!
Tire$tone
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v
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*1
I