Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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THE NEWBERRY SUN. NEWBERRY. S. C BOBBY SOX “Here she comes . . . Just keep talking as though her whole life wasn’t really ruined ’cause she didn’t get a letter from Warren today!” NANCY . By Ernie Bushmiller MUTT AND JEFF WAITER! Vsk-shush; THERES AFLVi EVERYBODY IN MY SOUP.* \ VJlLL WANT ONE.' Vi SAID a FLY! Tort A THERE’S A Tty IN MYSOUP.' OF THE 1 LISTEN.' I SAIDYoHJHATS there’s ATLY ALL RIGHT.' AAVfirt EW0N ’ T soup! r 1 DR,N ^ " By Bud Fisher / WHAT DID HE EXPECT FOR A DIME ELEPHANTS? LITTLE REGGIE / SM POOCH, WE HAVE ( TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT \your^ wrinkles. Chello smith's ?V I'D LIKE TO MAKE AN APPOINTMENT^ J JITTER By Arthur Pointer REG’LAR FELLERS By Gene Byrnes l VIRGIL By Len KleU DREADFUL FATE A sailor was explaining the inner workings of the navy to a dinner companion. . “If a guy is hep, he won’t give his right trade when he joins up.” The gal wanted to know why. “Well,” he explained, “if you tell them you are a mechanic, they make you a medical corpsman. If you’ve been a cook, they are sure to give you a yeoman rating; and if you happen to know something about bookkeeping, they are sure to make you a mess cook.” “But,” inquired the sweet young thing, “suppose you tell them you don’t know anything?” “Oh, that’s the worst of all. If you do that, they hand you a com mission.” Compromise It was market day. Prices had been high and the man leaning over the fence round the sale ring was looking disconsolate. Suddenly a farmer rode up on an ancient horse. “How much do you want for that bag o’ bones?” asked the bystand er, his interest awakening. “A hundred dollars.” “I’ll give you five dollars.” For a moment the farmer stared at the man in amazement. Then he dismounted. “Young man,” he said, “I ain’t going to let a little matter of 95 dollars stand between me and the sale of a horse. The animal’s yours.” Oriental Craft The back of the Japanese theater stage opened on the street, and the manager was instructing an Amer ican occupation soldier in the art of drawing cash customers. “When the play begins,” he said, “I’ll raise this back curtain—just a little.” “Yes,” the G.I. replied. “People will crowd up to hear the play free. Well, I’ll let them hear it until the moment of big sus pense.” “And then?” “Why, then I’ll drop the curtain and they’ll rush to pay their way in. They always do.” i . LOST BY A HAIR Bill—Darling, there is something that has been trembling on my lips for weeks and weeks. Coo—Yes, so I’ve noticed. Why don’t you shave it off? Twice-Told Tales The late Frank Harris took his literary material wherever he could find it, and sometimes he would tell a story which bore more than a faint resemblance to something already concocted by another, and frequent ly more famous, writer. One day in a group which included Oscar Wilde he related an incident which nearly everyone present recognized as something which had occurred in a story by Anatole France. There was an uncomfortable si lence. “You know, Frank,” broke in Wilde, “Anatole France would have spoiled that story.” You First, Sir It was very obvious that the new recruit was a raw hand at boxing as he entered the ring, and when he saw his hefty opponent he be came more nervous still. As he went to his comer he saw there a man with a towel thrown over one shoulder. “Who are you?” he asked. “I’m your second,” was the reply. A look of relief lightened the re cruit’s face as he said: “No, you go first—I’ll go second!” Second Best A candidate for county sheriff was soliciting votes in a cowtown in Oklahoma. After haranguing the crowd, he asked for support. “Well, Mister,” said the town barber, “you’re my second choice.” The would-be sheriff pondered a moment. Then he asked cheerful ly, “And who’s your first choice?” “Oh,” was the reply, “any fellow who wants to run.” Strange Notes The accompanist had done his best to help the beginning soloist, but after an hour of practice, he was weakening. “Mademoiselle,” he said, shak ing his head sadly, “we can’t go like this. r I give up. I play on the white keys. I play on the black keys. But you always sing in the cracks!” Modern Miss The young daughter of a radio announcer was called upon to say grace at a family dinner. Much to the dismay of the visiting minister, the child bowed her head and said in low tones: “This food comes to us through the courtesy of Al mighty God.” Fancy Name Betty—That girl is grace personi fied. Lettie—What did you say her last name was? NEEDLEWORK PATTERNS C'UN to crochet are these delicate 1 little edgings for pretty handker chiefs—they certainly do turn a plain hanky into a pretty and ex pensive-looking one. Make of fine tatting thread and use them for baby frocks, lingerie cases and around oblong luncheon place mats of pastel linen or cotton. Fun to Crocket Five edging instructions are given in the pattern. Send 20 cents in coin, your name, address and the pattern number. Send your order to: SEWING CIRCLE NEEDLEWORK 530 South Wells St. Chicago 7. HI. Enclose 20 cents lor pattern. No Name. — Address •Get O’Sullivan SOLES as well as Heels next time you have your shoes repaired. AMERICA’S No.l HEEL .... a rvd sole Biggest Census The biggest census in history is to be taken in 1950. It will in clude all Western Hemisphere na tions. They have an estimated population of 300,000,000. Facts about health, education, standards of living and trade will be gathered. FOR QUICKMUCF C A.RBOI L A Soothing Q A I 1/E 1 ANTISEPTIC W FT ft. W b tiled by thousands with satisfactory r#.' suits for 40 years—six valuable ingredi ents. Get Carfooil at drug stores or writs Spurlock-Neal Co., Nashville, Tcnn. Just#/ how IT HELPS YOU! fZBZ Wl BTC R SMITHS Tonic M MMa/ TRU ST£ D or* YEARS / oryor/KTO/va/E Sample its grand rich flavor—enjoy its tongue-gentleness—and you too will say, PRINCE ALBERTI x*.. ... iiiaiS: • “The first pipeful sold me on Prince Albert,” says Mr. L. C. Davis, above. “P. A. is a real comfort smoke—mild, good- tasting to the bottom of the bowl. Packs better-draws right.” • “Crimp cut Prince Albert sure rolls up fast and neat,” says Mr. W. M. Miller, below. “Smokes tasty too—cool and mild.”