Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

Below is the OCR text representation for this newspapers page. It is also available as plain text as well as XML.

'.r,; THE NEWBERRY SUN. NEWBERRY, S. C. A LITTLE PROMPTING Jane (at one end of sofa to Elmer at other end)—Elmer, do you think my eyes are beautiful? Bashful Elmer—Uh huh! Jane—And do you think my hair is the prettiest you've ever seen? Elmer—Gee whiz! I’ll say. Jane—Do you think I have a per fect figure? Elmer—Gosh! You bet. Jane—And do you think my lips are like rubies? Elmer—Oh boy! I’ll say they are. Jane—Are my teeth like pearls? Elmer—Uh huh! Jane—Oh, Elmer, you say the cutest things. MAN OF IRON rr Xr)‘ * Lifeguard—Why can’t a big husky fellow like you swim? Suntanned—Too much iron in my blood. Figuring Too Close Down in the small southern town where he lives people are all so kind and indulgent with Uncle Mose that the ancient darky has become a little spoiled. One day Uncle Mose presented a check foe $19.42 at the local bank. The old man took the money from the teller, counted it, then recounted it. He didn’t seem to be satisfied. “What’s the matter, Uncle Mose?” the teUer asked. “Isn’t it right?” “Yes,” was the grudging reply, “but it jes’ barely is.” Clever Girl The girl was applying for a sec retarial position and when asked if she had any special talents she replied that she had won several prizes in crossword puzzles and slo gan contests. “That’s fine,” replied the manag er, “but we want somebody who will be smart during office hours.” “Oh, but this was during office hours,” she said, sweetly. A Growing Pile Dean David of the Harvard school of business was addressing a group of executives. “It’s true that there is a great deal of knowledge at Harvard. The reason why there is so much knowl edge at Harvard,” the dean added, “is because the freshmen bring in so much and the seniors take out so little.” Tugging and Tooting Young Husband—My dear, see that tug drawing all those barges? It’s a perfect picture cf life. The tug is like the man working and toiling while the barges like women are . . . Young Wife—Yes, and the tug does all the blowing while the barges quietly bear all the burden. Modern Interpretation “What little boy can tell us the meaning of the expression, ‘The quick and the dead’?” asked the Sunday School teacher. Willie raised his hand high. “Please, ma’am,” he said, “the quick are the ones that get out of the way of automobiles, and the dead are the ones that don’t.” NEW APPROACH She—John, you’ve been calling on me for several months, now. John—Why, yes, that’s right. She—Well, have you ever thought of me as an income tax deduction? There Are Limits Young Mrs. Smith was beginning to put on a little weight. Telling her husband good-by as he left for work, I heard her ask him sweet ly: “Darling, will you still love me, even if I get fat?” “Heck, no!” he muttered. “I promised for better or for worse, not through thick and thin!” Tight Spot Newlyweds were in a restaurant when a blonde smiled at the hus band. Wife—Dearest, who is that wom an? Husband—Don’t bother me about who she is. I’ll have enough trou ble explaining to her who you are. Swinging at the Air Golf Pro—Now just go through the motions without driving the ball. Beginner — That’s precisely the trouble I’m trying to overcome. high Louder Bump “Why do you have such a bed for your little boy?” “So we can hear him if he falls out of it.” SEWING CIRCLE PAHERNS bailor j^or lyjounc^ Cjirid excite ^J^eyhofe ^Jechli me 8059 4-12 yrs. Crisp and Fresh IDEAL school frock for the gram* - * mar school crowd. Sailor dresses are a favored style with young girls—they’re so crisp and fresh looking. Make this one in a bright check or plaid material and have the collar in snowy white trimmed with contrasting braid. She’ll love it for that first day back at school. * • • Pattern No. 8059 is for sizes 4. 8, 8, 10 and 12 years. Size 6. Z'.i yarns of 36-inch fabric; % yard for contrasting collar; 3 yards braid. Keyhole Neck A S NEW as tomorrow is this en- chanting date dress designed especially for juniors. It features the popular keyhole neck, deep Queen Victoria of England Had Sword of Her Own Probably the only queen of mod ern times to have a sword of her own was Victoria of England. Forged for her in 1850, this sword, 27 inches in length and two pounds in weight, was used by the queen during the remaining 51 years of her reign in conferring knight hood. sleeves and softly rounded hipline. Make the wide belt of the same fabric or use one of the smart new purchased ones. A honey of • frock. Pattern No. 8052 comes In sizes 11, 12, 13, 14, 16 and 18. Size 12 requires yards of 35 or 39-inch fabric. Send your order to: SEWING CIRCLE PATTERN DEPT. 530 South Wells St. Chicago 7, 111. Enclose 25 cents In coins for each pattern desired. Pattern No Size- Name Address- GET \4 f OUALITYX PIUS \ SAVINGS! oStA'MOROLINE PETROLEUM JELLY GffSAr BtG JAft ONir 10* EXPANDING WATCH BAND flexible / nxm STAINLESS ) \ I 1I GUARANTEED ! O I LLL ADJUSTABLE I Immediate Delivery. No Tax. ff T Cf| Postage paid. >Mlt Mo My OiSar. ALFRED KEENE. 170 W. 73rd SL. Nao Yait CM* PALLETS HIGHEST QUALITY ALLOY ALUMINUM Chill cast to insure extra hardness and symmetry. Rustless, no breakage, warp ing or bending. Stock size 8" x 16 fc . Any size available on order in any quantity. Light shipping weight. ACE CONCRETE PRODUCTS CO. P. O. Box 123, North Birmingham, Ala. It's no fun io have i' MALARIA! Wl IIT€ RSMirtfS Ton i Ci a* tfc/pes-' FREE! IF YOU BAKE AT HOME . .. hurry! Send for Fleischmann’s wonderful, 40-page recipe book. 70 tested recipes for delicious bread, rolls, desserts. Easy to make with Fleisch mann’s Fresh Active Yeast—for the delicious flavor and fine texture that mean perfect baking success. Send for your FREE copy today to Fleischmann’s Yeast, Box 477, Grand Central Annex, New York 17. N. Y.