The sun. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1937-1972, July 26, 1946, Image 9
THE NEWBERRY SUN, NEWBERRY, S. C.
NANCY
By Ernie Bushmiller
MUTT AND JEFF
By Bud Fisher
LITTLE REGGIE By Margarita
JITTER By Arthur Pointer
REG’LAR FELLERS
By Gene Byrnes
VIRGIL
By Len Kleis
SILENT SAM
By Jeff Hayes
ADAM’S ALE, STRAIGHT
The lush stood at the bar and the
bartender wanted him to leave but
decided to give him one more
chance.
"If you guess the ingredients of
the drink I mix for you, I’ll let you
stay,” he said.
Vodka, pepper and brandy went
into the concoction. The drunk tast
ed it and named all three. The next
time it was Cointreau, gin and
cream—and he named them correct
ly. He blindfolded his eyes as the
bartender tried again. The mixman
went through elaborate motions and
served a glass containing plain wa
ter.
The persistent patron tasted it
once or twice and said, “Buddy,
you got me stumped,” and walked
toward the door, turned and con
tinued, “but I bet you won’t make
any money on that one.”
REAL TACT
A salesman was proposing to his
best girl. “And sweetheart,” he fin
ished, “I’ll lay my whole fortune at
your feet.”
“It isn’t a very big fortune,” she
reminded him.
“I know, dear,” he replied, “but
it will look awfully big beside your
little feet.”
He got the girl.
Worth More Then
“Zeke,” admonished the farmer,
“when I took your calf to pasturage
you agreed to pay me one dollar a
month for the accommodation. Five
months have gone by, and you
haven’t paid me a cent. If you don’t
pay me right awayi 1 I’ll have to
take the calf.”
The old darkey shuffled his feet,
frowned, and plaintively replied,
“Mister Jones, dat calf am wuth
mo’ than five dollars.”
The farmer was obstinate. “You
pay me or I will take your calf,”
was his ultimatum.
The darky scratched his head,
pondered briefly, and then replied:
“TT1 tell you what I’ll do. I believe
dat calf am wuth mo* than five dol
lars, but if you will keep him for
one month more, den I’ll give him
to you for de pasturage.”
But Which Fork?
A Texas father was dining with
his son in a Texas hotel, and in the
course of dinner the son got into an
argument with a cowboy. The cow
boy called the son an offensive
name, and the young fellow grabbed
his knife in his fist and started
around the table to be avenged.
“Ain’t ye got no table manners?”
the old man hissed.
“But, pop, ye heered what he
called me, didn’t ye?”
“Yes, I heered all right, but that
ain’t no ground for yer fergittin yer
table manners. Put down that there
knife and go at him with yer fork.” j
IN HIDING, EH?
She had looked at innumerable
blankets. None pleased her. Air
ily she said to the salesman: “I
was just looking for a friend.”
“Well, madam,” he replied, a
steely glint in his eye, “if you think
your friend is in one of those blank
ets on the top shelf, I’ll be glad to
look.”
Names Make News
A correspondent for a country
weekly frequently forgot essentia]
details in the stories he submitted.
The editor sharply warned him to
get names into his dispatches.
Several days later the correspond
ent filed this: “Due to possibility
df there being rabies spread in this
town, our police force has rounded
up four dogs. Their names are
Rags, Fido, Rover and Boots.”
Can’t Trust Therp
Two drunks were playing with a
flashlight, switching it on and off.
Finally one of them threw a beam
of light up towards the ceiling and
said to the other man: “I’ll bet
you can’t climb up that beam.”
The other shook his head.
“No, siree,” he said, “you can’t
get me to try that. I know you!
Just when I get to the top, you’ll
turn it out.”
Iron-Clad Evidence
The motorcycle cop who brought
in a drunk and a beautiful blonde
spoke to the judge. “Your Honor,
this man with the beautiful blonde
in his car was driving while drunk.”
“How do you kno-v he was
drunk?” questioned the judge.
The motorcycle cop held his chin
in his hand and said. “That’s easy.
The darn fool was driving!”
SEWING CIRCLE PATTERNS
lecer
/JoltiIifiti, 'Ueriatife
WaL 111, id S)fitn J-^rinceAd
Smart Two-Piecer
DOPULAR with every teen-ager
* is the attractive two-piece frock
that makes up so handsomely in a
variety of fabrics. This exciting
version has a pretty square neck
and yoke edged in ric rac, and two
bows perched atop peplum pleats.
Straight smooth skirt.
Pattern No. 8033 comes In sizes 10, 11,
12, 13, 14. 15 and 16. Size 11. blouse. 2
yards of 35 or 39-inch; skirt. Its yards;
2 1 ,i yards ric rac.
Tins which are not badly stained
can be polished well with brown
paper that has been moistened in
vinegar.
—•—
, Hang up towels to dry immedi
ately after using them to prevent
mildew. Never put a damp towel
in the laundry bag or leave it in
a heap on the bathroom floor.
—•—
When washing hollow handled
knives do not allow them to remain
too long in water as this might
loosen them.
—•—
To clean a soured sponge, rub
fresh lemon into it thoroughly.
Rinse several times in lukewarm
water.
8058
34-48
Slimming Princess
T HIS delightfully slenderizing
princess dress is ideal for the
beginner—no belt to bother with,
just smooth easy sewing. Narrow
lace is ised to edge the scalloped
neck, front closing and cool wing
sleeves.
Pattern No. 8056 is designed for sizes
34. 36. 38. 40. 42. 44. 46 and 48. Size 36.
4 yards of 36-inch fabric; 33s yards of
39-inch.
New—Excitin*—Different—the summer
Issue of FASHION. Send twenty-five cents
for your copy of this 52-page book of ideas
and patterns for all home sewers . . . sug
gestions by nationally known fashion edi
tors . . . special patterns by top-flight
American designers . . . contest designs
by America’s talented juniors . . . free
shoulder pad pattern printed in book.
SEWING CIRCLE PATTERN DEPT.
530 South Wells St. Chicago 7, 111.
Enclose 25 cents in coins for each
pattern desired.
Pattern No Size
Name
Address-
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