Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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THE NEWBERRY SUN, NEWBERRY, S. C. CROSS TOWN By Roland Coe “Next time you make a turn put out your hand—look out, here comes another kiddie car !” “See? I TOLD you he was beginning to notice me!” NANCY By Ernie Bushmlller I JUST happened to FEEL LIKE SWIN6INS AAV HAND AND YOU BACKED INTO MUTT AND JEFF LITTLE REGGIE By Margarita VIRGIL NOUTTLE I KID COULD EVER CLIMB UPON 4 THAT HIOH SILENT SAM By Jeff Haye* JUDICIAL WISDOM NEEDLECRAFT PAHERNS Once in the early days of a cer tain Western state a little Dutch storekeeper, long on common-sense but short on legal lore, was appoint ed to preside temporarily over the i local court. “Gentlemen of the jury,” he charged after he had heard the evi dence in his first case, a lawsuit, “if you believe ail that the lawyer for the plaintiff has said, I charge you that it is your duty to find your verdict for the plaintiff. But, if on •the other hand, you believe all that the defendant’s lawyer has said, then it is your duty to find for the defendant. But, gentlemen, if on the other hand, you are like me about the matter and don’t believe a word that either one of them has said, then I don’t know what in thun der you are going to do!” A RETRIEVER A dog-loving dowager was looking over a prospective pet. “And are you sure,” she asked the pet-shop clerk, “this dog is faithful?” “Faithful as they come,” the clerk answered. “I’ve sold him five times and each time he’s come back.” Merry-Go-Round It was quite an important preview of a new film, adapted from a novel by a very popular writer. Afterward he was asked what he thought of it. “Excellent,” he replied. “Who wrote the story?” “You did,” was the answer. “We got it from your book.” “I wouldn’t have known it,” said the author. “But it would make an excellent novel. Mind if I use it?” “Of course not, so long as you give us an option on the film rights.” Plain Talk An English prisoner-of-war repa triated via Odessa tells of meeting a Russian officer who spoke perfect English. So proud indeed was the Russian of his English that he kept correcting the Englishman’s native speech. At last the Englishman got fed up and said, “All i right, I may be wrong. But you are talking capital ist English—I talk working class English.” Luxurious Mat in Cable Stitch IT’S EASY to do cable stitch. A Why not make this rug—so lux urious yet inexpensive. Use it either in the bedroom or the bath room. Use rug cotton or old stockings for this durable knitted rug. Pattern 7274 has directions for it and for a matching seat- cover. Sewing Circle Needlecraft Dept. 564 W. Randolph St. Chicago 80, ML Enclose 20 cents for Pattern. No Name—. < — Address — ■ ■— I ASK ME O ? I ANOTHER > ? ? 7 _i~l H o ? A General Quiz ? 1. Canada is made up of how many provinces and territories? 2. The Rock of Gibraltar, sym bolic of strength, is composed of what? 3. Calenda was the name given by the Romans to what? 4. What was the original name given the department of state? 5. The testimony of what ani mal is accepted in a court of law as evidence? 6. Does the ostrich put its head in the sand to hide? The Answers 1. Nine provinces and two ter ritories. 2. Soft limestone. 3. The first day of the month. 4. The department of foreign affairs. 5. The bloodhound. 6. No. 'It grubs for worms and other food. JhsL ficUisL J'/oudL Private Jones had been told to report at the M. O.’s surgery for a minor nose operation. “Go into the other room.” said the M. O. when Jones appeared, "and take off all your clothes.” “What!” protested Jones. “Take off all my clothes just for a nose- treatment? Is that necessary?” “Do as you are told, and don’t ask questions!” barked the M. O. “Yes, sir,” answered Jones, and went into the next room. “Can’t understand it,” Jones remarked to another man in the room with him. “All I need is nose treatment and he makes me take off all my clothes.” “That’s nothing,” replied the unclad stranger, “he ordered me to do the same thing, and I only came here to deliver a parcel!” RED-ITCHY FEET? Eliminate Red, Raw, Pulling, Cracked and Blistered skin — The Safe Way — USE SABESINE Dries Quickly. Money Back Guarantee. 50c for 6 dram bottle. CENTURY SERVICE BUREAU Box 29, Bergen Station Jersey City 4, N. J. General Mixup John Barrymore liked to tell of those hectic lean days, when he played with small stock ompanies. Once, in a midwestern town, he forgot his lines. Edging quickly over to the side of the stage, he asked the prompter, “What’s the line?— What’s the line?” “Darned if I know,” came the nonchalant reply, “What’s the play?” Its no fun to have MALARIA! ART AND ARTIFICE De Twitter—Is that wife of yours as beautiful as ever? MacTweet—Yes, but it takes her somewhat longer these days. What He Wanted Two Scots were having a drink. Said one seriously: “What’s your great ambition, Mac? Is there any thing in the world you’d like better than another?” “No,” said Mac, quietly. “Anoth er would suit me fine.” Explanation Inspector—Don’t you know you can’t sell life insurance without a license? Salesman—I knew I wasn’t sell ing any, but I didn’t know the rea son. Information Wanted Traffic Officer (reproachfully)— Young lady, do you know anything about the traffic laws of this city? Fair Motorist—Yes, a little. Car f help you? Her Secret The bus driver asked the little girl how old she was. “If you don’t mind,” she said, “I’ll pay my full fare and keep my sta tistics to myself.” Where to Find Them “I have just killed five flies—two males and three females.” “How do you know?” “Two were on the table and three were on the mirror.” Hard-Won Knowledge Her—Don’t you think a man has more sense after he’s married? 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