Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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THE NEWBERRY SUN. NEWBERRY, S. C. MYSTERIOUS Harry Houdini, master magician, carefully guarded the secrets of his trade. When people pressed him for explanations as to how certain tricks were performed he managed always to be tactfully evasive. “Mr. Houdini, fo:- years I’ve at tended all your performances,” pleaded one of his fans. “And I am more balked than ever. Just how do you make a whole live mountainous elephant disappear?” “That’s a good question,” replied Houdini with his usual finesse. “Why, even the elephant has no idea how it’s done.” Just an Acquaintance An elaborately dressed woman ar rived late for the wedding. As she plowed through the church door an usher demanded her invi tation. “I have none,” she snapped. “Are you a friend of the groom?” queried the usher, timidly. “Certainly not!” Her voice rose indignantly. “I am the bride’s mother!” MUTT AND JEFF By Bud Fisher DOUBLE-HEADER Back in the pre-Civil War days a Kentucky judge habitually carried a bottle of corn in his side pocket. A rubber tube ran from that corn up to his pipe. The judge would sit on the bench all day puffing, with out any smoke coming from the bowl, and in the afternoon he got pretty mellow. He came out of the courthouse one afternoon and threw a saddle on his horse, ready to go home. A young lawyer standing there called to him: “Hey, Judge, you’ve got the saddle on backward!” The judge looked at him with con tempt and replied: “How do you know in what direction I am go ing?” JITTER By Arthur Pointer REG’LAR FELLERS By Gene Byrnes VIRGIL / By Len Kleis Just Another Step “Well, dear,” he alibied, “what if I have loved another? Don’t you know it has only prepared me for the greater, higher love I have for you?” “Seems fair enough,” she re luctantly agreed, “but how do I know that the love you now have for me isn’t preparing you for a greater, higher love for some other girl?” NIFTY RETORT A very thin man met a very fat man in the hotel lobby. “From the looks of you,” said the fat man, “there might have been a famine.” “Yes,” was the reply, “and from the looks of you, you might have caused it.” Strong Hint A customer sat down at a table in a smart restaurant and tied a nap kin around his neck. The scandal ized manager called a waiter and instructed him, “Try to make him understand, as tactfully as possible, that that’s not done.” Said the thoughtful waiter to the customer: “Pardon me, sir. Shave or hair cut, sir?” Handicapped “Children,” said the teacher, “be diligent and steadfast, and you will succeed. Take the case of George Washington. Do you remember my telling you of the great difficulty George Washington had to contend with?” “Yes, ma’am,” said a little boy, “He couldn’t tell a lie.” Napoleon Calling! A distinguished visitor to an in sane asylum went to the telephone and found difficulty in getting his connection. Exasperated, he shout ed to the operator: “Young lady, do you know who I am?” “No,” came the calm reply, “but I know where you are.” Playing to Both Sides A good many of us in our attitude toward the evils of this world are rather like the dying Irishman. “Well, Pat,” said a friend at the bedside, “have ye made peace with God and denounced the devil?” “Shure,” said Pat, “I’ve made my peace—but I’m in no position to antagonize anybody!” Black Magie How many times has the math professor said: “Just watch the blackboard while I go through i? again.” NEEDLEWORK PATTERNS Midriff Sports Set for Tots Vineappie Motifs to Crochet 5131 Tot’s Midriff Set L ITTLE girls of three, four and five like to be cool when they’re frisking around on hot summer days. Here’s a gay bare midriff play set to do the trick. The buttoned topper has a pretty square neck and crisp wing sleeves. Make it in seersucker, flowered percales, plain cham- brays, checked ginghams. * * * To obtain complete cutting pattern, finishing instructions for the Midriff Play Suit (Pattern No. 5131), sizes 3, 4, 5 years included, send 20 cents in coin, your name, address and pattern number. Pineapple Doilies /''YNE of the most popular of de- signs is the crocheted “pine apple” motif—shown on the doilies illustrated above. At top, the flow er petal center makes it an un usually effective lacy piece. The completed doily measures 10 inches in diameter. The doily at bottom was copied from an old 11-inch doily. A “must” for every collector of pineapple doilies. • • • To obtain complete crocheting direc* tions for the Lacy Pineapple Doily (Pat tern No. 5132) and the Illinois Doily (Pat tern No. 5530), send 20 cents in coin for each pattern, your name, address and pattern number. Send your order to: SEWING CIRCLE NEEDLEWORK 530 South Wells St. Chicago 7, 111. Enclose 20 cents for pattern. No Name_ Should Junior lose the checkers, take your old broom handle and saw it into quarter-inch slices. Paint half the slices red, half black. Make excellent substitutes. Even Junior will be happy now. —•— Patches that press on may be used for mending weak spots in the feet of hose. Mend before the weak spot wears through to make certain patch does not show. —•— To keep macaroni or spaghetti from boiling over, add a table spoon of cooking oil or shortening to the water. —•— When placing gelatin in a long flat dish, put a strip of waxed paper across the dish each way be fore pouring in the gelatine, and it will be easier to remove. —•— Small bottles with a combina tion screw cap and medicine drop per are convenient for storing small amounts of household oil near appliances that require regular oiling. —•— To save back-tiring stooping, use a long-handled dust pan. If you can’t find one in the stores, have pop fashion one from an old mop handle and attach to your present dustpan. Americas Favorite Cereal FLAKES , FKSS#- t eecausa it sete so Tost/ tfk&jjuif cm HAKES its. You can also get this cereal in Kellogg’s VARIETY—6 different oireals, 10 generous packages, in one handy carton! Bake sweeter, tastier bread! use FLEISCHMANN’S St S € FRESH YEAST NO WAITING—no extra steps! Full-strength— Fleischmann’s fresh active Yeast goes right to work. Makes sweeter, finer bread! And makes it faster! You can be surer of tender, smooth texture—light ness—delicious flavor every •ime! IF YOU BAKE AT HOME, insist on Fleischmann’s fresh Yeast with the familiar yellow label. It’s dependable— America’s tested favorite for more than ' v •'+