Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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THE NEWBERRY SUN, NEWBERRY, S. C. CROSS TOWN By Roland Coe “Hello, ma—my team just trailed me to Burke’s drug store for nine ice cream sodas!" CHEERING SECTION A mild-mannered clergyman ac cepted the call to a church in a town where many of the church members bred horses and some times raced them. A few weeks later he was asked to invite the prayers of the congregation for Lucy Gray. Willingly and gladly he did so for three weeks. On the fourth Sunday one of the congregation told him that he need not do it any longer. “Why?” asked the good clergy man with an anxious lok. “Is she dead?” “Oh, no,” was the reply. “She won the steeplechase.” SINS OF THE MOTHERS NANCY Bv Ernie Bushmiller PUT ENOUGH SVRUP ONI IT—AND GIVE fAB PLENTy OF ICE CREAM--AND LOTS OF NUTS AND In admonishing daughter for speaking in a sassy manner to her mother, it was pointed out that such talk would only be returned in later years when the youngster grew up and had a daughter of her own. “So be a good girl,” she was told, “so your children will be good to you.” *’ This logic bounced right back when she looked at her mother and said: “You sure must have been some bad when you were small that I am talking like that to you.” MUTT AND JEFF By Bud Fisher LITTLE REGGIE By Margarita REG’LAR FELLERS By Gene Byrnes Publicity Stunt The old manufacturer was con sulting his lawyer about a last will and testament. He said, “I’ve made up my mind to leave each employee who has been with the firm 20 years a sum of $50,000.” “But, man,” the attorney remind ed, “you haven’t been in this busi ness nearly 20 years.” “I know,” was the impatient re ply, “but think of the advertising value!” Starting Young The Sunday school teacher asked her class to write down the names of their favorite hymns. All the scholars busied themselves with pencil and paper and presently handed in their papers. All except little Jane. “Come, Jane,” said the teacher, “write down the name of your favorite hymn.” Jane wrote, and with downcast eyes and flam ing cheeks, handed the teacher a slip of paper bearing the words, “Willie Smith.” HOW ABOUT BISECTS? “How many sexes are there, Oli ver?” “I can only think of three, teach er.” “Three?” she queried, puzzled. He replied: “Men, women and in sects.” The Give Away She—You look very downcast. He—Yes, my wife has been away for six weeks and she’s just come back. She—And does that make you so unhappy? He—Well, I told her I spent all my evenings at home—and today the light bill came. It’s for fifty cents. Real Battler Willie showed up one afternoon from school with all the earmarks, and dirt marks, of having been in quite a scrap. “Just look at you!” cried his mother. “I’ll have to get you a new suit. I’ll never be able to get that mud off ” “But, Mommy,” butted Willie, “Jimmy’s Mommy’ll have to get her a new boy.” VIRGIL By Len Kiel* Unfair Tactics Two fishermen sitting on a bridge, their lines in the water, made a bet as to which would, catch the first fish. One got a bite and got so excited that he fell off the bridge. “Oh, well,” said the other, “if you’re going to dive for them, the bet’s off!” Exclusive “Stand up,” shouted the evangel ist. “Stand up if you want to go to heaven.” Everybody stood up excepting one old man. “Don’t you want to go to heaven?” asked the preacher. “Sure I do, but I’ll be dad- gummed if I want to go with an ex cursion,” replied the oldster. Round Things Tourist (in village store) — Waddya got in the shape of auto mobile tires? Clerk—Funeral wreaths, life pre servers, invalid cushions and doughnuts. Architecture Nit — What keeps the moon from falling? Wit—It must be the beams. SEWING CIRCLE PAHERNS Summer fior l^l/]atron6 S/i irtwa is ter ^JerAatile, Smart Cool Nightgown A DELIGHTFULLY cool sum- mer nightdress designed es pecially for the more mature fig ure. The pretty V neck and brief sleeves are edged in narrow lace, the soft bow tie in back insures a neat fit. Why not make up sev eral in different colors for warm nights ahead. * * * Pattern No. 1359 comes in sizes 34, 36, 38, 40, 42, 44, 46 and 48. Size 36 requires 3Tb yards of 35 or 39-inch fabric; 2^ yards lace; Ts yard ribbon for bow. Nazi Germany Kept Rigid Surveillance Over Citizens Nazi Germany kept its citizens under complete surveillance through an incredibly complex system of records and identifica tion papers, says Collier’s. Among the scores of various records waft a thorough and up-to-the-minute register kept by each police sta tion of every person in its pre cinct, including his activities and whereabouts which were obtained, for example, by requiring hotels and hospitals to make detailed reports of their incoming and out going guests and patients. Among the numerous papers each individual was required to carry was a Certificate of Conduct which showed whether he had a police record. Shirtwaist Frock V'OU’RE ALWAYS sure of look- I ing your best in a smart shirt waist frock. Versatile and charm ing—a style beloved by every age. This cap sleeved version will be lovely in a brightly striped fabric, used contrastingly for yoke and sleeves. Pattern No. 8874 is for sizes 14, 16, 18, 20; 40, 42, 44 and 46. Size 16 requires 3% yards of 35 or 39-inch material. Due to an unusually large demand and current conditions, slightly more time is required in filling orders for a few of the most popular pattern numbers. Send your order to: SEWING CIRCLE PATTERN DEPT. 530 Sourh Wells St. Chicago 7, HI. Enclose 25 cents in coins for each pattern desired. Pattern No Size Namg Address- A LOT FOR A LITTLE in Moroline, petroleum jelly. Quality and quantity for daily needs —large jar 10a. Soothing dressing for minor burns-cuta, scratches, minor scalds. Get Moroline. KooL/Ud AFLAV0 R i^M CORN FI ’-1******"^!Co mr You can also get this cereal in Kellogg’s VARIETY—6 different cereals, 10 gen erous packages, in one handy carton I Fresh active yeast goes right to work! No lost action—no extra steps. Helps give sweeter, tastier bread flavor—light, smooth texture—perfect freshness! IF YOU BAKE AT HOME—always use Fleischmann’s active, fresh Yeast with the familiar yellow label. Dependable for more than 70 years—America’s tested favorite.