Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

Below is the OCR text representation for this newspapers page. It is also available as plain text as well as XML.

THE NEWBERRY SUN, NEWBERRY, S. C. NANCY REG’LAR FELLERS By Gene Byrne* VIRGIL By Len Kleis SILENT SAM By Jeff Hayes SUDDEN IMPETUS When Henry, the little negro jani tor of a Mobile apartment house, became engaged the pleasure ex pressed by his friends was not un mixed with a considerable degree of wonderment. “Henry,” said one of his acquaintances, “Ah sho’ is sur prised. How do it happen dat yo’ has been going wid Miss Esther for mo’ dan two years—and den all of a sudden you gits engaged?” “Well, brother,” replied the little janitor, “ah’ll give you de lowdown on de sitchashun—it wuz only yes terday dat Ah lost mah job.” Simple, Isn’t It? “It’s surprising,” remarked the professor to his wife at breakfast, “to think how ignorant we all are. Nearly every man is a specialist in his own particular line and in consequence we are all narrow minded.” “Yes, dear,” said his wife. “I, for instance,” he continued, “am ashamed of my failure to keep abreast of modern science. Take the electric light, for instance. I haven’t the least idea how it works.” His wife gave him a patronizing look, and smiled. “Why Herbert! I’m ashamed of you too. It’s simple! You just press a switch, that’s all!” NEW LANGUAGE After giving the private a dress ing down for being so late in re turning with the supplies, the ser geant demanded, “Okay, let’s hear how it happened, Miller.” “Well, I picked up a chaplain along the road,” explained the rookie, “and from then on the mules couldn’t understand a word I said.” It Was Right! A man on the Florida coast sent to New York for a barometer. When he unpacked it, he found it set at Hurricane. He tapped it, but it didn’t budge. He hung it up, tapped it again, but it still remained as set. Wrathfully he sat down and wrote a blistering letter to the store, then went out to post it. When he came back the barometer was gone. So was his house. No Trade-In Value “Annie,” mother exclaimed to her naughty offspring, “ I don’t think I’ll punish you this time—I’ll just get a good little girl in your place.” The youngster quietly considered the threat for a moment, then laughed. “You can’t do it, mother,” she rejoined. “Nobody’s going to trade you a good little girl for a bad one.” Mind on His Work “Wilkins, you’ve been with us two weeks now. Do you realize that in that short time you’ve been late five times?” “No sir, I didn’t know, Boss. You see, I’m not one of those fellows who’s always watching the clock.” CAN’T HOOK HIM An old cowboy went to the city and registered at a hotel for the first time in his life. The clerk asked him if he wanted a room with running water. “Heck, no!” the cowboy yelled. "What do you think I am, a trout?” Squelcher On a train the other day, a friend ly woman found herself sitting be side a little girl with a doll in her lap. She leaned over and asked cheerily, “Dess your dolly talk?” “Yes,” said the little girl curtly, “but not to strangers.” Almost Closed Mrs. Gnaggs—Have you shut up everything in the house for the night, Elmer? Elmer — I’ve shut up everything that can be shut up, my dear. SEWING CIRCLE PATTERNS J)clea l Sports in Ok ree f-^arts Sea doped < S)aLj linter flor IF]a Iron Outdoor Sports Set I_J ERE’S a three piece sports -*• set that’s ideal for your life in the open. The youthful, brief sleeved dress buttons down the side and has a bright contrasting color to edge the round neck and skirt bottom. Bra and shorts com plete as clever an outfit as you’ll find. Pattern No. 1448 comes In sizes 11. 12. 13, 14, 16 and 18. Size 12. dress, 2>,b yards of 35 or 39-inch; shorts and bra, IT's yards; Ti yard contrasting fabric. Equal parts of linseed oil and vinegar will remove ink stains from wool. —•— Have a place in the kitchen where you can sit down to do your work—and use it. —•— Fold household linens over the clothesline with hems together. Prevents their tearing in the wind. —•— Before peeling onions, dip them in boiling water for a moment. Then peel, beginning at the root and peeling upward. This will keep those tears away. 8945 34-48 Slenderizing Frock D ESIGNED especially for the matron, this scalloped day- timer for summer has slenderiz ing lines and careful attention to detail. * * * Pattern No. 8945 is designed for sizes 34. 36 . 38, 40. 42. 44. 46 and 48. Size 36. cap sleeves, 39a yards of 35 or 39-inch. SEWING CIRCLE PATTERN DEPT. 530 South Wells St. Chicago 7. 111. Enclose 25 cents in coins for each pattern desired. Pattern No Size- Name Address- ALL YOU DEMAND In aspirin quality, purity and strength, you get in St. Joseph Aspirin. None finer at any price. 12 tablets 10c. You save even more on the 100 tablet size for 35c. FOR QUICK RELIEF CARBOIL. A Soothing 6 A I \# |T ANTISEPTIC W la V El Used by thousands with satisfactory fe* suits for 40 years—six valuable ingredi ents. Get Carboil at drug stores or write Spuriock-Neal Co., Nashville^ Tenn. TRY ALL 6 FLAVORS I gy*C4P/ CRACKLE! and TOP! SAY**- I O You can also get this cereal in Kellogg’s VARIETY—6 dif- ■w* ferent cereals, 10 generous packages, in one handy carton! THERE’S NO'LOST ACTION WITH FRESH YEAST! And Fleischmann’s fresh Yeast goes right to work because it’s actively fresh. No waiting—no extra steps— Fleischmann’s fresh Yeast helps give full delicious bread flavor, tender smooth texture—perfect freshness. IF YOU BAKE AT HOME, always ask for Fleischmann’s active fresh Yeast with the familiar yellow label. Dependable — America’s favorite for over 70 years. reast ~- |§|j|