The sun. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1937-1972, April 19, 1946, Image 9
*
THE NEWBERRY SUN, NEWBERRY, S. C.
“Last night I dreamed this whole park was littered
with thousand-dollar bills!”
BOBBY
SOX
‘I worry so about Natalie. She’s only been
once this semester!”
engaged
NANCY
By Ernie Bushmiller
MUTT AND JEFF
■AS»D IN ORDER TO be a
MEMBER IN GOOD STANDING'
I G,93"TA FIGHT IN THE
^ELIMINATION BOXING 1
'V{ TOURNAMENT AT THE I
LION TAMERS OLUB.'J
r JEFE I’M WORRIED 1
I CAN’T FIGHT.'
I COULDN’T HIT THE
‘ l. SIDE OF
f«/. A BARN!
1
By Bud Fisher
ILL WAIT IN HERE
FOR VOU, MUTT. 1
X COULDN'T BEAR
To SEE IT'
&
(OH, MY Poor
\ v'al. Mutt!
LITTLE REGGIE
/FIRST PRIZE IN THE
t LONE RANGER CONTEST
By Margarita
TESTJJ
SECTARIAN
DIFFERENCES
A party of clergymen were at
tending a Presbyterian conference
in Scotland. Several set out to ex
plore the district, came to a river
spanned by a temporary bridge.
They didn’t see the notice that said
the bridge was unsafe, and start
ed to cross. The bridgekeeper ran
after them in protest. “It’s all
right,” said the spokesman, not
understanding the reason fo* the
old fellow’s haste. “We’re Presby
terians from the conference.”
“I’m no caring about that,” said
the old Scot bridgetender, “but if
you dinna get off that bridge ye’ll
all be Baptists!”
CONFINING, ANYWAY
There’s the story of an elderly
woman who, in her autumnal years,
made a career of spreading what
she was wont to call sunshine among
the inmates of a penitentiary.
Stopping outside the cell of one
convict, she attempted to cheer him
in the words of the poet: “Stone
walls do not a prison make, nor iron
bars a cage. ...”
“No,” he answered slowly. “But
they help, lady, they help.”
Too Good for Him
A farmer was in search of a
horse.
“I’ve got just the horse for you,”
said the liveryman. “He’s five years
old, <sound as a dollar and goes 10
miles without stopping.”
The farmer threw his hands sky
ward.
“Not for me,” he said, “not for
me. I live eight miles from town,
and with that horse I would have
to walk back two miles.”
Peace at Last
The new minister was talking to
the oldest inhabitant.
“I be 97 years old, sir, and I
haven’t an enemy in the world,”
said the aged one.
“That is a beautiful thought,” said
the clergyman approvingly.
“Yes, sir,” was the answer. “I’m
thankful to say that I’ve outlived
them all.”
Oily Flavors
A man in a restaurant called the
waiter over disgustedly.
“What do you call this stuff—cof
fee or tea?” he sneered. “It tastes
like kerosene.”
“If it tastes like kerosene,” said
the waiter calmly, “it must be cof
fee. The tea tastes like turpentine.”
READY-STUFFED
“There you are, my dear,” the
bride announced, “my first turkey.”
She proudly placed the steaming
bird on the dinner table.
“It looks wonderful, darling!” her
husband responded. “What did you
stuff it with?”
“Stuff it?” exclaimed the bride.
“Why dear, this one wasn’t hol
low!”
A Real Present
Attractive Young Miss—I’m look
ing for something particularly nice
for a young man.
Salesman — Have you looked in
the mirror?
Not All There
Professor (calling the role) —
Perkins.
Jones—Perkins is absent.
Professor—Quiet, Jones, let Per
kins not answer for himself.
Not So Interesting
“Tell me, do you ever expect to
find the perfect girl?”
“Oh, sure; my good luck won’t
last forever. I’ll have a dull date
sometime.”
The ‘Makin’s’ Gone
Grocer — I’ve sold my rolling
stock.
Customer—Railroad securities?
Grocer—No. Cigaret tobacco and
papers.
Alarming
“Why do you always wear those
loud socks?”
“Well, they keep my feet from
going to sleep.”
Better Stay Home
“Most accidents happen on Sat
urday and Sunday.”
“It’s a great life if you don’t
week-end.”
Wacky Pun
“We know what a WAVE and a
WAC is, but what is a Woe?”
“Oh, a Woe is what we thwow at
a wabbit ”
SEWING CIRCLE PATTERNS
^t^rawstrina Z^roch j^or ^Jot
J-^rettu, j-^ractical ^ JJou3e
8857
1442
Tot’s Drawstring Frock
Y OU’LL want to make up several
of these adorable little draw
string frocks for your tiny tot. So
easy to do—and so few pattern
pieces. Panties to match. Use a
soft all-over flower print or dainty
polka-dotted fabrics.
Pattern No. 1481 comes in sizes 1, 2.
3, 4, 5 and 6 years. Size 2, dress, 1%
yards of 35 err 39-inch material; panties,
% yard.
(frimovavL (DoAbmL
Jo disdpL ihsL fowiL!
For some time Donovan and his
wife had not been getting along so
well. Finally Mrs. Donovan sued
her husband for separate main
tenance. In due time the case
came up in court, and, after hear
ing both sides, the magistrate
deliberated for a time, then ad
dressed Donovan.
“I have decided,” he said, “to
grant your wife’s request. This
court shall allow her $10 a week.”
Donovan beamed back at the
judge and said, “Why sure, your
honor. And that’s very generous
of you. I’ll see if I can add a
dollar or two to that now and
th£n!”
Comfortable House Frock
L OOK and feel as crisp as a
lettuce leaf in this simple
house dress with its slimming
princess lines and nice detail.
Brief cap sleeves are cool and
comfortable. Bold ric rac makes
a pretty edging for neck, sleeve?
and scalloped closing.
Pattern No. 8857 is designed for sizes
14, 16, 18. 20; 40 and 42. Size 16 requires
S 1 /* yards of 35 or 39-inch material; 3^
yards ric rac to trim.
Send your order to:
SEWING CIRCLE PATTERN DEPT.
530 South Wells St. Chicago 7, 111.
Enclose 25 cents in coins for each
pattern desired.
Pattern No. Size
Name
Address-
EARERS
Try dentist’s amazing discovery
Must Hold Your Loose Plates
Comfortably Secure All Day
or you’ll get your money backl
Just think how grand you’ll
I feel (and look) when you can
talk and laugh without fear «f
I plates slipping . . . say goodbye
| to sore gums and enjoy eating
steak, apples and other foods
I you’ve been passing up.
Don’t let loose plates continue
! to make you miserable and ember,
rassed. Get 35< tube, pleasant, easy,
to-use Staze at druggist. Remember,
Staze, the remarkable cream-paste
denture adhesive, must hold plates
secure alt day
long or D costs
> you nothing I
THINK FIRST
of St. Joseph Aspirin when you want
quality, purity, strength and speed.
Buy St. Joseph Aspirin, world’s largest
seller at 10c. 100 tablets for only 35o.
^^S»You can also get this cereal in Kellogg’s
VARIETY—6 different cereals, 10 gen
erous packages, in one handy carton 1
Here’s sweeter, tastier bread
with FLEISCHMANN’S
FRESH
FRESH „
IT’S FULL STRENGTH so it goes right to work.
No waiting. No extra steps. Fleischmann’s fresh
active Yeast helps make bread that’s more de
licious and tender, sweeter-tasting every time!
IF YOU BAKE AT HOME-Get
Fleischmann’s active fresh Yeast
with the familiar yellow label.
Dependable—it’s been America’s
favorite for more than 70 years
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